Pda

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Sent you private email Sexy LBT~, ("L"eigh"B"es"T"oad)... (you should have a "G" in there somewhere bud?)

Loves~

Tyger~

Tyger!

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To love without personal gain can be the most significant expression of self acceptance and giving human gift possible given our human nature. Strive for the Will to Love~

 

Love is not some place you come from. It's something you are through the acceptance of Life and living it and giving back to those learning how.

 

Desire is easy to suffice and satiate~ Need is the more important then satisfaction. Strive to understand how desires can suffice need and strive for that~ What you need will bring you more then what you desire unless your desires suffice your needs~

 

If humankind can not understand and utilize technology to necessary needs provision, what is the point of technology?

 

A flower is just a flower until it comes into the reality of another thing where it is then consumed, cherished or simply ignored to be what it is~

All things are like this~ and in all forms accepted as one purpose or another according to the understanding of the two.

 

You can't retire from who you truly are~

 

Life is the profound influence not any particular person or words~. .. but becoming aware of the profound nature of life is the blessing that we can acquire and pass along.

 

We are plagued by the distraction of intellect and the arrogant thinking that we are above Life beyond the Human experience.

Human truth is situational and in the scopes of human perception, we are limited and evolving.

Truth in itself is complete and always the real situation, in spite of how we, as humans, might like to perceive it or contrive it.

Life and Love are not about us but, rather, perhaps, accepting it and living it and sharing it back~

Love for your own sake and/or enterprise is not greater or replacement for the value of Beauty felt and given back~

Human beings make the mistake of placing judgements of what is right or wrong, good or evil. In the end there is only consequence~

Life exists beyond the human experience~

 

 

I was hoping that I'd be able to get some feedback/opinion/advice/counsel from members of the forum about a question I'm sort of struggling with. As many of may know, I'm a newly out (9 months) guy who spent the last 34 years as a "straight" married man. Yeah, right. The coming out process has been remarkable, including a wife that is understanding. However, now a new issue has come up and I'd love some feedback.

 

Not only am I newly out. I newly boyfriended. My guy has been out most of his adult life. We both are very affectionate, holding hands, hugging, putting our heads on each others' shoulder. Obviously it's fine in private, and but there is a smidge of blowback even when we do this strictly in gay community settings. I've watched other gay couples at events in our community and there is very little PDA. It wasn't before long that there were rumors going around our community that, given the affection we show to each other in public, that we were ready to fly to NY to get married. Not hardly -- we are a long way from that. But eventually, who knows.

 

But now we are starting to go out more into "straight" society. Last week was karaoke at a purely straight (but known as a "tolerant") bar. And again we felt comfortable enough to be holding hands at the table, but we were a bit reticent to kiss after I blew the house away with my song (sorry, but a standing ovation after a song at karaoke is a bit unique, I think). But the song I have picked out for him next time will almost warrant that kiss.

 

And so I turn to the more experienced members of the forum for your input. What are your thoughts on PDA -- both when in a strictly gay community setting or out in the general, "straight" world. Again, I'm not talking anything overtly sexual at all. Simply holding hands, quick kisses, hugs. Personally, I really love seeing couples who are committed to each other showing an affectionate nature to each other. But I can also say I have never seen any other gay couples in my town commit acts of brazen PDA in the general public and very rarely when strictly within the community.

 

Does it help "the cause" the show we are just a normal loving couple? Would we simply inflame a situation? As a newly out man, am I suffering from the enthusiasm of a newbie who wants the same rights and respect I would have gotten had I done something similar with my wife?

 

Sorry for the length of the post but I would really appreciate your comments. This forum has been a great place for me to learn so much about myself. Hopefully I can learn a bit more now.

[uwsman2]

Illustrating my point -

 

Front page item in the New York Law Journal yesterday: Two gay guys went into a McDonald's on 42nd Street in Manhattan, placed their order, were standing waiting for it to be called, kissed each other, and immediately the security guards were all over them, screaming "faggots die," "no faggot shit in here," stream of vituperation and threats. The restaurant staff froze. An alert customer whipped out a cellphone and called 911. Cops arrived and calmed things down. A staff member asked the gay guys to wait outside, and someone brought their order out to them. This happened in November 2008. Yesterday the Law Journal reported about a ruling on their lawsuit against the McDonald's franchise and the company that employs the security guards. The judge threw out their claim of intentional infliction of emotional distress, but refused to throw out the claim of sexual orientation discrimination, which may go to trial unless the insurance company that is probably handling the defense for the two businesses makes a settlement offer that they accept. Of course, this is now almost three years after the fact. By the way, the judge is no homophobe: she's Doris Ling-Cohan, who ruled in favor of same-sex marriage in the case that Mayor Bloomberg appealed and got reversed. It's really tough in NY to bring a claim of intentional infliction of emotional distress, and she concluded this case wouldn't make the cut.

 

OK, so two gay guys, probably without a second thought, have a smooch in a McDonald's on 42nd Street... I'm not saying to go through life fearfully. I'm just saying it's probably not prudent to do a pda unless you're clearly in a safe gay space.

[Rick Munroe]

I'm not saying to go through life fearfully. I'm just saying it's probably not prudent to do a pda unless you're clearly in a safe gay space.

 

So, you mean a place like the Stonewall Inn, the gayest bar in NYC and the birthplace of the gay rights movement? It also happens to be the place where, this past October, a gay man was brutally bashed in the men's room by 2 thugs who called him a "faggot." And this happened the same weekend that 3 gay men were attacked in Chelsea after they kissed/hugged each other goodbye. So...where is this "safe gay space"? As I said, this kind of thing can happen anywhere, just as a racially motivated attack can occur anywhere. I still don't see a reason not to live our lives freely and without fear.

 

I still love New York - victim of brutal gay bashing Benjamin Carver