10 Laws of Comic Books (for BofN)

[Boston Guy]

BofN:

 

A friend just sent me these 10 Laws and I immediately thought of you. :-) So I thought I'd pass them on.

 

BG

 

 

 

 

The Top 10 Laws of Physics, According to Comic Books

 

10. Stan's Universal Physical Law: Physical properties are determined by whether or not they further the plot of the story.

 

9. The instantaneous addition of 1000 pounds of muscle mass and two feet of height will always rip your shirt clean off but never rip your pants above the knees.

 

8. The amount of butt a female superheroine can successfully kick is directly proportional to the square of her bustline.

 

7. You cannot travel faster than the speed of light... unless you are dodging laser blasts.

 

6. The Mask Principle: Obstruction of the brow-to-nose region by any apparel item (mask, glasses) causes transient synaptic disruption in the observer's inferotemporal cortex, producing temporary prosapagnosia. Result: The wearer becomes immediately unrecognizable, even to close friends, co-workers and family members.

 

5. The most flexible and mutable form of matter is the plot.

 

4. Corollary to Newton's Universal Law of Gravitation: Gravitational force is directly proportional to the masses of interacting objects, except where breasts are concerned.

 

3. Energy can be neither created nor destroyed (unless you have a Cosmic Cube or Ultimate Nullifier).

 

2. The Aureole Assertion: No weapon known to man can tear a female superhero's costume above the waist, unless it is to expose a midriff or shoulder.

 

and the Number 1 Law of Physics, According to Comic Books...

 

1. For every death, there is an equal and opposite resurrection-from-death.

[BewareofNick]

>BofN:

>

>A friend just sent me these 10 Laws and I immediately

>thought of you. :-) So I thought I'd pass them on.

>

>BG

>

>

>

>

> The Top 10 Laws of Physics, According to Comic Books

>

>

>10. Stan's Universal Physical Law: Physical properties are

>determined by whether or not they further the plot of the

>story.

>

>9. The instantaneous addition of 1000 pounds of muscle mass

>and two feet of height will always rip your shirt clean off

>but never rip your pants above the knees.

>

>8. The amount of butt a female superheroine can successfully

>kick is directly proportional to the square of her bustline.

>

>7. You cannot travel faster than the speed of light...

>unless you are dodging laser blasts.

>

>6. The Mask Principle: Obstruction of the brow-to-nose

>region by any apparel item (mask, glasses) causes transient

>synaptic disruption in the observer's inferotemporal cortex,

>producing temporary prosapagnosia. Result: The wearer

>becomes immediately unrecognizable, even to close friends,

>co-workers and family members.

>

>5. The most flexible and mutable form of matter is the plot.

>

>4. Corollary to Newton's Universal Law of Gravitation:

>Gravitational force is directly proportional to the masses

>of interacting objects, except where breasts are concerned.

>

>3. Energy can be neither created nor destroyed (unless you

>have a Cosmic Cube or Ultimate Nullifier).

>

>2. The Aureole Assertion: No weapon known to man can tear a

>female superhero's costume above the waist, unless it is to

>expose a midriff or shoulder.

>

> and the Number 1 Law of Physics, According to Comic

>Books...

>

>1. For every death, there is an equal and opposite

>resurrection-from-death.

 

 

That is SO funny, but there is at least one female superhero who HAS lost her top on several occasions, and that's the She-Hulk.

 

There is a corollary to the death rule as well: the only permamnent deaths in comics are Barry Allen (Silver Age Flash), Bucky and Captain Mar-Vell. Supergirl (Kara Zor-El) used to be ont aht lsit, but she is set to return to comics in Supergirl #75.