************ All In The Family ************

[Godiva]

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**************This Is Not Your Archie and Edith***********************

 

 

Need some Ideas here men...

 

 

My best friend and I are extremely close..especially since we both are gay and eventually confided in each other. My friend is from a strict Catholic family of 2 boys and 2 girls. I have always suspected that my friends brother was gay but never said anything until recently. My friend said he thinks so too but they have never said a word to each other about it their whole lives. He is actually afraid to talk to his brother about his suspicions. They talk about everything else except for relationships. Of course their sweet mother has these two good lookin boys she wants to marry off.. has no clue or then again maybe she does. The father flat out has no clue..He is an old fashioned brutt who probably would not survive them comming out of the closet..His boys are his life..

 

My friend wants to come out to his family. He has already told me that this would devastate his parents. He said he could deal with that but if his suspicions are true about his brother and his brother decides to come out than that would detroy his family. Although they don't live with their parents..they still come home for Sunday dinner. They are very close and the mother runs the show.. He told me that he would stay in the closet rather than break up the family until he knows for sure about his brother..BTW the sisters are very straight.

 

Any advice.. This is the first time I have ever known of 2 gay siblings in the same family. I have known of a gay Father and Daughter and they were not close at all. Does anyone know of a situation like this and how is it playing out in the family unit?? Since we members here predominately gay.. Do any of you have siblings who are gay ? How is your family dealing with it?? Are you close with the gay sibling??

[Guest WestTxGuy]

RE: All In the Family

 

I have a younger brother who's gay and lives with his long-time partner in NYC. I'm married with children, and bi--but leaning gay. Of course I'm in the closet and my brother is out. I can see how it can easily run in the family. If I had really been in touch with my feelings 20 years ago, I probably wouldn't have married and would be out of the closet now as well.

 

I have two other siblings, one married with kids, one not, who both seem to be straight. But I'm not totally sure about either of them. They don't know about me, so they could have another side as well.

 

I won't be coming out because of my personal family situation, and my brother waited quite awhile before coming out to my very conservative, religious parents. The family has been supportive of him, although my parents are heartbroken. From their religious viewpoint, they fear for his eternal soul. They love him dearly, and really like his partner as well. They are both welcome at all family functions, and things aren't even all that uncomfortable when we're all together. The conversation is usually a bit stilted at first, but everyone warms up pretty quickly.

 

My brother doesn't know about me. Hell, I didn't know about me until I'd been married for over ten years.

 

Sometimes I wonder whether my Dad has gay feelings and has squelched them his entire life (he's in his mid-70s). No hard evidence, just a feeling I've had about him.

 

I'm definitely not the one to give advice about coming out. But I think my brother is totally happy and comfortable with his situation.

[BuckyXTC]

RE: All In The Family

 

I also have a gay sibling, my older sister. My younger sister is very straight "born again" Christian. My gay sibling and I are out to each other, and my older sister is out to my younger sister, but my younger sister knows nothing about my being gay.Both of my parents are deceased, but when they were alive, my mother had real problems with anyone being gay, and particularly her children. She discovered my older sister was gay when that sister was in college. A letter came to our home address from my sister's girlfriend and my mother read it. She always had a pissy attitude toward my older sister. My dad was the sort of person who loved his children unconditionally. I believe he would have accepted my sexual orientation if I had chosen to come out to him, but it wasn't a big issue for me to do so. He was dealing with a horrible form of cancer that is invariably terminal, so I chose not to put anything else on his plate. As far as my mother, I figured I could spare myself the histrionics by not coming out to her.

 

I've have several other friends who have at least one gay sibling, so it's probably not as uncommon as one might think.

[Godiva]

RE: All In The Family

 

Thanxs guys for sharing your stories...we certainly don't hear enough about it..it is always one person "Gay" in a family of straights. I guess the thought about it being hereditary has merits..

 

I wonder if there is a study on this??

 

Any more...

[Justice]

RE: All In The Family

 

My two sibling are very straight.

 

I have a very good childhood friend who recently came out of the closet. She did it in a very big way -- she asked her "roommate" (who turned out to be her girlfriend) to move out and needed a shoulder to cry on. (I didn't suspect a thing. My gaydar must be defective.) Her twin brother is a very straight and very married New York City cop. When she came out to me, she told me not to tell my parents because she wasn't going to come out to her parents. (Our parents live around the corner from each other and have been friends for years.) She has an older brother who has been out (and involved in a very open LTR) for as long as I can remember and their parents have always seemed to be very accepting of him and his boyfriend. (They've always been very nice to me and to another gay childhood friend and neighbor.) She told me that she felt that her parents couldn't handle having two gay kids. I think that may have changed because my friend and her current girlfriend both recently attended my friend's sister-in-law's surprise 40th birthday party. I didn't ask any questions.

[Godiva]

RE: All In The Family

 

Would any of you consider telling your Gay siblings about you being gay. Could it make you close since you both have something in common like twins or will it keep you further apart?