Escorting full time into your 30's/40's and beyond

[Guest Ace]

GREAT!!! Now I'm hungry!

[raulgmanzo]

I know that many escorts continue working through their thirties and often well into their forties and I wonder what circumstances have kept them in this profession so long? ...- this won't be my life's work - at some point in the next few years I will move on.

 

I don't mind Westcoast asking, it just is not applicable for those of us who may be in our 40s but are not oldtimers.

It at least seems that he is talking about someone escorting for a long time.

 

Anyway I have the same question for anybody or myself doing the any same thing for very long.

Could be selling insurance, digging ditches, buying businesses or doing colonoscopies.

Are we enjoying our work, hobbies or habits? Are we still learning anything or doing something of artistic or social value?

 

It is only recently that I feel I have moved from being a novice to

beginning to know what I'm doing. Hopefully I will learn even more over the next couple years before I shift to a new and interesting profession.

I will hopefully remain proud of the fun times and opportunities to be sexually open that I have helped many a client enjoy.

[Juan Vancouver]

Juan, very interesting post. Would you for the sake of the discussion clarify with which points you strongly disagree.

 

Cheers, Steven ~[/color]

 

No problem Steven.

 

I believe and I have seen many times how escorts who depend on the affection and reassurance provided by their clients get sooner or later burned out, exhausted, become resentful of the unfair nature of their apparent "friendship" with their clients and sooner or later things end badly. Also when someone does anything in order to satisfy other people's needs as their main motivation that career becomes unsustainable.

 

I believe that the only reason that makes this (and every other profession or activity) sustainable for a long time is: "I like it, I want to do it, it fulfills me, it fills me with pride, I am doing it to answer a deep, personal calling."

 

Surely, when one is answering a personal calling and putting one's "heart" to it, more often than not one's work ends up being beneficial and fun for others, but that should always be a plus. If one starts by trying to please others one would never be able to sustain it for that long. At least not healthily.

 

 

 

Juan.."Watch It The Bait is Out"! LOL

 

JT, I haven't the slightest idea of what you may mean. ;-)

 

I don't consider myself a "hooker" in a street walker/drug user sense but that's what we all are.. you can mask it however you want but we are prostitutes - which I think is something fun (although I do take it very seriously) to do while I'm young but if I was still doing this in five years I think I would feel differently for some reason (I may be wrong)..

 

I agree somewhat with you. (Even if I wasn't aware of the relationship between the word hooker and drug using.)

 

If one is simply offering one's body to be enjoyed by people who pay for it then yes, you are a prostitute, and I sure hope you won't be doing the same thing for a long time. It is a little unfulfilling and even if the mindless nature of it allows for a lot of focusing on other issues, in the end it is not something that a lot of people can get sustained joy from.

 

There is, however, an entirely different profession you could embrace, if you wanted to. This is the profession of escorting. To do this, however, you would need to amass a certain amount of sexual experience, a deep sense of confidence and trust in your own abilities, a certain understanding of the human nature, passable interpersonal skills, a desire to honour the unique beauty in each of us, (Even the beauty of the old timers!), and a profound respect for yourself.

 

Half of the work of an escort is about helping his or her clients to become comfortable with their bodies, their urges, their whims, becoming comfortable with themselves. Of course, only someone who is relatively experienced in being comfortable himself can escort others through this adventure. And I am not talking about sitting and explaining things like a therapist, (At least not all the time.) I am talking about BEING so intensely present that you help them with your example.

 

But again, one needs to first be certain that what one is doing is not only ok, but amazing.

 

Being a prostitute isn't exactly something you can tell your family about (although that's just an example).

 

I don't see why not.

 

Even if I flatter myself thinking of myself as an escort, not a prostitute, all my family knows what I do and they are all proud of me. I come from a family in which everyone has had higher education and we have a lot of pride from that, and still, (or maybe because of that) they can all see what I do and see the great value of it.

 

Well, not all my family knows, actually. I have a couple nephews who are very young and we have tacitly decided not to say anything. In time they will know and I am sure that because of the attitude of the rest of the family everything is going to be as ok as if I were working for NASA.

 

 

Again and again I get the confirmation that people' reaction to anything I say is entirely dependent on my own attitude towards it when I say it.

 

 

I sincerely hope this post doesn't feel as if I am patronizing you. I believe that you have the possibility to look at your choices under a much more positive light. You could use this amazing forum to learn about the different ways in which you can do almost exactly the same work with entirely different results.

 

Some escorts come here for publicity, and that's fine.

Some escorts come here to vent, and that's fine.

Some come here to fight other escorts, and that's fine.

A few, and these are the ones that in time become more successful, come here to learn from each other, to listen to other escorts and our clients, to make their lives better and richer.

 

Big hug to you from a proud and unapologetic old-timer.

[JT Brooklyn]

L o L !

[Brian Barnes]

Wow. Thank you, BigJoey, for nailing that answer on the head. I am a 32-year-old escort from Seattle who got his start five years ago in the SF Bay area. I consider myself a professional and I enjoy my job as a sex-worker very much. Besides the money, I enjoy the interaction with all of my clients. I have been fortunate in that my clients are all gentlemen and are all very interesting men. I am starting my paralegal career this September, but will continue to escort for as long as I want to. Sex is fun and it is nice to share that experience with others. My partner is a former client and encourages me to keep working, if I want to. He understands that I enjoy it, that it helps me pay my bills, and that I am providing a good service to others.

[justaguy]

Juan, again you've posted another beautifully articulated set of thoughts. What you describe in your response to Steven is the distinction I make between an artist and a craftsman. You're obviously an artist.

[Diverdan]

AMEN, JustAGuy... you hit the nail on the head with your post. I have been so fortunate in my life to have met so many "artists" of many ages, sizes and descriptions. I have only had a few encounters with "craftsmen" and a couple of those I would describe as "apprentices" to maybe over use some analogies!

 

I hope Steven takes some of this advice to heart, and doesn't over react negatively to what we all have posted. Like most other jobs in life, if it is just a "job" it will not be very satisfying. However, it is easy to tell the difference between someone who really loves his work and one who is just going through the motions.

Unfortunately some escorts never quite "get it" and simply go through the motions. One measure of that is how many clients repeat their encounters with the same guy. If you don't have many repeat clients, I suspect you should re-evaluate your chosen profession.

 

Thanks to all who have tackled this thread. I have enjoyed reading them all, even when I disagreed!

[Juan Vancouver]

Just to make sure...

 

I want to clarify something:

 

The first part of my last post was answering Steven's direct question. However, the rest of the post has absolutely nothing to do with him. I was addressing WestCoast and his original question.

 

Would like to make it clear that I sincerely respect Steven's professionalism and his way of conducting his business. I don't think he needs to and I would never dare to suggest that he needs to change anything or do anything different. He is a very well respected escort, with a huge following and a respectable name.

 

I sincerely believe that the only way one can relate to one's colleagues is with respect, regard and curiosity. I always keep my eyes open because I very often learn a lot about ways of becoming a better escort from them.

 

That includes you, WestCoast. Your question and your unique point of view has elicited this interesting exchange. Thank you.

 

Hope things are a little clearer.

 

Big hugs to you all!

 

HappyHo.

[Steven_Draker]

First of all I saw the original post as a provocation and didn't feel that it needed a response. Then, I was hoping that nobody "in their 30' and their 40'" would have to justify himself or even less, having the clients justifying the reasons they hire.

 

I think that BigJoey made a great contribution and his posting has some very good points.

 

Finally THANK YOU, Juan for addressing my quest and responding to the clarification.

 

As to Diverdan, I have nothing negative to comment about. I don't feel concerned by your post.

 

A big hug, Steven ~

[JT Brooklyn]

Hey Big Juan...Always enjoy your Input as many have enjoyed YOU putting it in! Sorry had to say it!

 

Enjoy your Travels you Latino Smoothie! JT

[justaguy]

LOL

Juan, I tend to forget the difficulty of being both clear and concise. My intent was to reference only your response to Steven's question and nothing else. I was simply attempting a complement.

For the record, Steven is one of my all-time (anytime) favorite artists. Sweet Jesus, if his backside gets any better looking, I won't even be able to babble aimlessly about how sexy he is .

[billhu]

Oh yeah! Give me maturity any day of the week. The older escort knows himself , his abilities, his limits and is secure enoughh to chat with me about my scene and usually honest enough to relate his thoughts back to me. I also find the older guys are more MANLY. got hairy chests etc. They sorta gave up the shaving and primping and thus appeal to me much more.

[Juan Vancouver]

I did understand your post, Justaguy, but somehow further comments may have conveyed the impression that I had said something else, and just for the sake of clarity I had to make sure I was clear.

 

And I agree... that ass really looks beyond perfect.

 

Hugs to you all!

[Sooner405]

Just adding my voice to the chorus, here... Thank God for gorgeous escorts in their 30's and 40's! I'm rarely attracted to the 20-something guy. I love the maturity, experience, muscularity and masculinity of men who are 30+ years old. I'd prefer to make love to a seasoned "man's man" rather than a young pup any day!

[Ryanquinn]

I've met some older escorts who have been a great asset in terms of showing me the ropes. I think that with age comes more confidence and self-assuredness. It seems to me that many of the older escorts that I have encountered are very good at what they do.

 

I haven't done the math, but I'm willing to hypothesize that there are more stable, professional escorts in their 30's-40's than there are in their 20's.

 

Maybe instead of judging someone older than you as a "hooker" you could take some time to get to know some of them. I have had some of the most amazing 3some encounters through a buddy of mine who is a 40yr old working guy...

 

just something to think about.

 

p.s. do you judge your clients the way you judge other escorts? Are you just jealous? I had to ask

[leigh.bess.toad]

Just adding my voice to the chorus, here... Thank God for gorgeous escorts in their 30's and 40's! I'm rarely attracted to the 20-something guy. I love the maturity, experience, muscularity and masculinity of men who are 30+ years old. I'd prefer to make love to a seasoned "man's man" rather than a young pup any day!

 

Beautifully said, Sooner. Couldn't have said it better myself. One other advantage for those of us a bit longer in the tooth -- an "emotional" (for lack of a better term) is certainly easier (at least for me) to "connect" with someone closer to our own age than to a 20-something "twinkie". Given a choice of exactly the same "specs" (height, weight, hair color, musculature, dick size, versatility, etc) and the only known difference would be 22 or 35 year old, I'd take the 35 year old every day of the week and twice on Sunday (OK, maybe 3 times).

 

Again, thanks for saying it so well, Sooner.

 

Lee

[JT Brooklyn]

Well for those who don't think a Guy can "Work It" after a certain AGE..SEE Thurs Review of COLTT/SF..Pix Link!

 

He's definitely a great rep for "Working It" over 35! IMHO... That's an amazing "Muscle Butt" he's carrying around for sure! I don't think his Butt gonna SAG at 60!

[Damascene]

I did fourway last night (review coming) with two escorts and a former escort (or an escort who came out of retirement for the night). All were over 30, perhaps one was over 40. They were experienced men who knew to handle me and each other in a way most guys in their 20's don't have yet. The current escorts like their jobs and former had to give it up because he moved to a much lucrative area.

 

Are there some guys who start in their 20's continue on? Yes. Most escorts above 30 do it because they enjoy the job and are mature enough to know if they didn't to find something else.

[+ Cash4Trash]

Regrettably, I've also met a couple of guys in their 40's recently who've lost their jobs because of the economic downturn and turned to escorting to pay the bills.

[Rod Hagen]

Granted I only skimmed this thread, but it seems nearly hostile to those of the opinion that escorting is a young man's job. I remember my nemesis, former poster Marc Anthony, once put it succinctly. He explained his younger preferences weren't just for the butter skin and doey eyes; to M.A. escorting beyond 25 seemed like stunted development.

 

I disagree with him, but based on the much higher number of 20 versus 30 and 40 something models in the Gallery forum, it's likely that those posters who prefer younger escorts, for whatever reasons, don't feel comfortable giving their opinion within this thread. Any suggestion that escorting beyond one's 20s may be unwise, is immediately shot down as ageism.

 

I'm edging 40. I think about it every day. It's possible that the last 11 years will be much more of a handicap to my resume than I could have imagined at 26. I enjoy what I do, I'm fucking great at it. But this thread is heavily weighted.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Granted I only skimmed this thread, but it seems nearly hostile to those of the opinion that escorting is a young man's job. .. I'm edging 40. I think about it every day. It's possible that the last 11 years will be much more of a handicap to my resume than I could have imagined at 26. I enjoy what I do, I'm fucking great at it. But this thread is heavily weighted.

 

Rod, I hate to do this, but I have to disagree with you, rather vehemently in fact. From my reading of the responses, many (if not most) of the respondents seem to prefer the older, more experienced escort. There are probably as many reasons as there are clients but for me there are a multitude of reasons: Even though I would still consider you almost a young pup, you and I would certianly have more in common than I would with most 22-year old2. The older escort's body to me is more mature with is appealing to me. Their experience is something I can learn from. They are certainly more comfortable with their sexuality, whatever that may be (how many of us know guys who have been straight, gay, bi, then gay, then straight, then bi, back and forth over and over again -- I know I do). And even if they are comfortable with their sexuality they also tend to be willing to explore themselves and expand their horizons. They are also just more comfortable within their own skin. An older escort to me is confident, where as a younger escort may tend to be almost "arrogant". And for me, most importantly, the older escort tends to be wider read, more thoughtful, more "playful", and has a brain that is willing to explore and be explored and to me that is very, very sexy. At 25, most guys (myself included) thought we knew all the answers. At 35 we were questioning a lot of the answers, by 45 we were questioning the questions themselves, and by the time your my age you can't remember that there was a question. Of course, these are generalizations and there are certainly some younger escorts who for, the lack of a better term, are "older souls". And although there are exceptions, they are exceptions. As a wise man once said "The battle is not always to the strong, the race not always to the swift, but that's the way to bet".

 

If you're nearing 40 -- I've got good news for you. You are just starting to reach your prime. I'm not sure you're even there yet. So if you are thinking about it every day, think about being happy you are that age because to many of us, it just makes you more desireable than ever. There are many of us who would consider it a privilege to spend time with you and "play". If I ever find my way to LA, I'd love to look you up.

 

Lee

[jj69action]

WestCoast you haven't got a clue!

[jj69action]

All I have to say is thank God for my Escort! A man who is over 45 skilled and enjoys what he does! He is a teacher, master, and friend! A youngster under the age of 30 couldn't begin to understand....WestCoast doesn't have a clue BUT maybe if he is in the business long enough he will understand. Thanks to all the Escorts out there over 40!

[adriano46]

Like some others here, I was watching how this thread played out, and bedcause of less time at the computer and more time on the road, could not weigh in.

 

Over the years, I have found that the truely great escorts - for me - are those well over 30 years old, and many even older. I only wish I could find more of them.

 

While a quickie would be great with a 20-something, muscled god, after about 60 minutes of mad sex, if you want a more intense connection (one involoving mind as well as body), well I find that most of the younger escorts just lack a certain maturity and depth in world experience to stimulate me in conversation. Sure we are hiring primarily for the sex, but as I get older (and I am already "older"), I also prefer a guy I can share a good deep conversation with, one who is comfortable in his sexuality, one who is erudite, with a sense of humor (but not sarcastic or cutting), and generally one who really knows his way around a mattress too.

 

When I am in a new area doing a "search", if the search engine has a filter for age, I find myself seeking guys over 35 up to 65. Yes, some of those silver bears are really worth the time and energy. Since there are more of these who give massage rather than outright escort work, well, I opt for a HOT massage instead and find even that better than some 20-something twink badly pressing his hands all over my shoulders and back without an iota of an idea of what he is doing.

 

So - here is one more vote for "older is definately better."

[best hotel]

Damascene.....please tell us who the retired guy was.....and will he do it again?