Bars & Clubs - The Friendliness factor

[taylorky]

i've been to a club in louisville a few times (every time with friends or jeff) and the problem i have with gay bars.well seeing this is the only one i've been to lol, at least this bar is that people for the most part don't want to be friendly; they want to get in your pants.you meet someone ,talk,dance.and when they find out you don't want to do it with them....POOF....they are gone.that sucks! we always have a good time (people i go with) but christ some of the people are so friggin pushy it really pisses you off.anyway i'm rambling ...........so bye

[BuckyXTC]

As I've stated here before, I'm not all that into the bar/club scene, but recently I went with friends to Shampoo in Philly and was very much taken with the friendly atmosphere and really cute guys. The contrast was pretty stark to some of the clubs I have visited in NYC: namely Splashbar, where most of the patrons seemed to be pretty "stuck up". The Roxy was certainly friendlier that Splash, but neither club even came close to my experience at Shampoo/Philly. Was this due to the fact that Philly is truly "the city of brotherly love", or something else? Can anyone recommend other good clubs/bars to visit in Philly? Thanks

[Boston Guy]

Philly's a smaller city and tends to be friendly.

 

But is it possible that it also seemed friendlier because you were with friends, as opposed to being alone?

 

When you're in a bar by yourself and don't know anyone there, it's easy to perceive it as being unfriendly. And it can be tough trying to meet new guys -- it's just human nature. But going up to new guys and meeting them is always better than being alone. Some of them may not be open to talking, but some surely will be and you'll have more fun.

 

BG

[BuckyXTC]

>But is it possible that it also seemed friendlier because

>you were with friends, as opposed to being alone?

 

Hi BG:

 

I rarely if ever go to bars/clubs alone, so it wasn't that. But you're probably correct that Philly being a smaller city has something to do with it.

 

It was a younger crowd at Shampoo, everyone seemed to be friendly and having a good time. I really liked the place.

[chrismac]

Although not the issue which Bucky describes, I agree with Boston's observation that going to a bar with friends always make the atmosphere seem friendlier, as the person has someone or a small group with whom to immediately socialize; act as a safety net if the rest of the crowd seems standoffish.

 

On the other hand, being in a group may make you appear aloof yourself; unapproachable to that single guy visiting from out of town, searching for the love of his life, or just the love for an evening - since you appear to be "taken" within your group.

 

Ideally, I'd like to go to a bar with a friend or two, then have the ability to snap my fingers and make them disappear once I catch someone interesting giving me the eye. ;-)

[Bilbo]

wierd digression time - Sleepy as I am, even though I had already read most of the thread this afternoon, this evening I got all excited and ready for a thread about Bars and Cubs, Danial Boone! - back to your regularly scheduled discussion ... :+

[BuckyXTC]

Taylor:

 

If they're trying to get into your pants, I'm sure that's because you're a hottie. At the same time, I can appreciate the fact so many times others view us, and sometimes we view them, primarily as objects of sexual gratification. Wouldn't it be great if just by looking at someone, things like their humanity and kind heart would be as obvious as their good looks? :-)

[jack]

Different places have different attitudes. In Montreal, between Campus, Stock, Nirvana, Adonis, and Taboo, there is something for everybody, plus, each place has its own ambience, environmnet and comfort level. For me, Taboo has the really hot cute youthful incredible hotties, along with the most gracious attitude of, it seems, being together.

 

My vote is to go alone -- Montreal is so safe, whereas in Ft.Lauderdale you might feel safer in numbers. But, being alone at Taboo, for example, means I can give the kids my undevided attention. Being with somebody would stiffle the style.

[Bastian]

Bucky:

 

First of all, nice to see you around again. The more 'good guys' around the better, IMO. Second, while I don't go to clubs all that often, I agree that there's something about Shampoo that balances out it's big open club space with friendliness, which is very cool. The last time I went (which was ages ago when Fefe LaDada was emcee) I felt comfortable taking off my shirt because it was hot, and my pants just to have a hurrah with my friends. No one seemed to judge my fun, and I met plenty of happy go lucky guys (and a few gals). As for other area clubs/bars, well, the attitude can certainly hit you in the face as you walk in the door, be prepared. I do have my favorite no attitude/decent fare/frugally friendly hangout bar, but as so many reviewers love saying, I fear mentioning it may make it more popular than I'd like. No pressure when you're out trying to relax is a great thing, especially if you're like me and admiring someone in a bar isn't equal to cruising. Good Luck to ya!

 

B

P.S.

 

>Wouldn't it be great if just by looking at someone, things like >their humanity and kind heart would be as obvious as their good >looks?

Serendipity (if that's the right word) has had me thinking repeatedly about this same concept lately, and we're obviously not alone. Some of the great minds of generations past have had much to say of this, if we're listening to their legacy.

[BuckyXTC]

Bastian:

 

Thanks for the welcome and great to see you here, too! Yes, there was something special I sensed at Shampoo. And of course, the suds pit is a real hoot! I didn't take the plunge into this time, but on my next visit I certainly plan to.

 

Hope all is well with you. Look for my private message, which will be on its way shortly.

 

Bucky

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>And of course, the suds pit is a real hoot! I didn't take the

>plunge into this time, but on my next visit I certainly plan

>to.

 

 

Now THIS sounds interesting - a Suds Pit? - do tell - just exactly how does this feature work and what does one wear to take the "plunge"?

 

Thunderbuns

[BuckyXTC]

>>And of course, the suds pit is a real hoot! I didn't take the

>>plunge into this time, but on my next visit I certainly plan

>>to.

>

>

>Now THIS sounds interesting - a Suds Pit? - do tell - just

>exactly how does this feature work and what does one wear to

>take the "plunge"?

 

 

Thunderbuns: What I call the "Suds Pit" is a dance floor with sides around it. There is this big suds cannon that pumps this sudsy foam all over the place, so it is about three feet deep. There are people stationed around the sides of the pit with leaf blowers who blow the suds around. It is really cool. You can wear just about whatever you want to.....I saw people in it with their street clothes. Of course, lots of guys took off their shirts..

Loads of fun!

[+ Hoover42]

>...people for the most part don't want

>to be friendly; they want to get in your pants.

 

I should be so lucky!

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>you meet someone ,talk,dance.and when they find out you don't want >to do it with them....POOF....they are gone.that sucks!

 

This is a message that a lot of young guys get hit with pretty early on when they start socializing in gay bars. If you're friendly but don't want to sleep with the person you're being friendly with, then you're a tease. If you're standoffish because you don't want to lead the guy on, then you're a snob. I remember being Taylor's age and thinking that it just didn't pay to be friendly to guys you wouldn't seriously consider sleeping with. Yes, as I grew older I learned that there were more nuances and shades of gray to all this. But the it's the lessons people learn when they are newly assimilating to a culture that can be the most formative. People who bemoan the attitude thrown around by young gay men should remember that the guys who've been hitting on them probably have something to do with how they got that way.