How to tie up your partner

[body2body]

This is a question I never thought I would be asking, but since we have this Forum, here goes. I have been seeing an escort for a couple of years now, at least twice a month. We have explored quite a few activities, even some mild restraint play (velcro cuffs), but he has told me he finds himself very turned on by the idea of really being tied up and restrained with ropes. The problem is I can barely tie my shoes. Does anyone know how you learn to do this kind of restraint technique. I have thought of hiring an escort who is a Master to "show me the ropes" so to speak. Any suggestions?

[whipped guy]

The problem is I can barely tie my shoes. Does anyone know how you learn to do this kind of restraint technique. I have thought of hiring an escort who is a Master to "show me the ropes" so to speak. Any suggestions?

Well, I can tie my shoes but I wish I had paid better attention when I was a boy scout... In addition I seem to have forgotten some of the rope techniques I learned from my boating days as well.

 

That said it is definitely an art to tie someone up and make sure that they are restrained and comfortable at the same time... but also... and this is important... restrained in a safe manner so as not to cut off circulation, etc. Heck if the victim isn't able to sustain the position safely for the requisite period of time it totally defeats the purpose.

 

Not being an expert I think contacting a master is your best bet. Also, if your area has a bondage club that would be a starting point as well. One of my missions over the next several weeks is to visit the NYBC and pay better attention to how it is done. I do recall seeing Phen (one of the owners who incidentally hails from Thailand... hence the nickname "The Thai that Binds... LOL!) giving several demonstrations over the years. I just wish I had paid better attention. So if you are in the NYC area that is one suggestion. It is definitely an art and can range from the simple to the complex and artsy looking...

 

In any event, getting some marine line is a good way to go as it is easy to work with and is more comfortable for the bottom guy.

 

There has to be a website out there with illustrations...

[Businessguy]

Rope lessons

 

Rope is my favorite bondage medium but it does require some practice. As Whippedguy says, care must be taken to not cut off circulation. Finding a good BDSM Dom in your area for some instruction is a very good suggestion.

Another place to start is to visit some web sites that can teach you some knots and ways to safely tie up your partner. Here are a couple for starters. Then follow their links to others.

It's hot that your escort is encouraging you to explore this area together. He obviously trusts you so go at it with a sense of experimentation, learning, and humor. You don't have to come across as a tough bondage Dom while you are trying a few things out. You'll easily find ways to make it sexy as you go along. Once you have him tied up fairly well, he'll be turned on by it and your natural instincts will take over.

Check these out, enjoy and be sure to report back.

http://www.iwillknot.com

http://www.realknots.com

http://www.twistedmonk.com

[raulgmanzo]

I've only fairly recently got into serious use of rope so am no expert but here are some things I've learned.

 

Along with the New York bondage club, good places to learn, experience or see rope bondage are Chicago Hellfire Club, or Windy City Bondage Club, Avatar in L.A. The Hellfire club and Avatar periodically have demonstrations or training sessions.

 

Along with being careful not to cut off circulation one should avoid pressure points and joints, wrist and ankle bindings should be above the joint.

 

You can do a lot with rope bondage even if you are not very good with knots. Obviously you would want to avoid suspension bondage. And a knot that fails can also be quite dangerous IF it allows the rope to slip to a bad place such as from the shoulders to the neck.

 

I keep EMT safety shears with my rope, they cut most ropes and have rounded tips and guard to prevent cutting the bottoms skin in an emergency situation where you might be to rushed or the ropes too tight to safely use a knife. I have by the way carried my rope and EMT shears on many flights and TSA has never given me a problem. Though occasionally amusing conversations or a sly grin.

 

There are dozens of types of rope each with their own pros and cons depending on the effect you seek. Some such as hemp (traditionally used for shibari) or jute hold knots (even improperly tied) well.

 

Lots of nylon rope doesn't hold knots as well and for many bindings you will want to be know more than a basic square knot. Nylon and polyester are very quick to give rope burns. I use a fair amount of climbind ropes even though they are quick to burn, in that case you will want to pull the rope slowly and use your hand to guide the dragging rope away from the bottoms skin, of course you will get a nasty burn yourself if you go too fast.

 

Different ropes have different burn speeds, i.e. will burn the bottom from friction when pulled across the skin. It is a good idea with a new kind of rope to try pulling it across your own hand or leg starting very slowly then speeding up to see how quickly it burns. It is amazing how easily some types of ropes.

 

Cotton can be a pretty good choice, is pretty slow to burn, meaning you can drag it tie and untie your ropes more quickly. It is often used by beginners.

 

All kinds of rope thicknesses are used, but 1/4" to 3/8" seems most common for general body ties.

 

Some people have the misconception that rope bondage is all about S & M, etc. But certain ties in certain places can feel incredibly good for the bottom even if he is not a masochist or even not normally into bondage.

[Guest greatness]

sigh

 

Another example of discrimination.. If a hot guy like Raul carries it then it's ok but when a person like me carries one then I become a terrorist.. Such a double standard...

 

I have by the way carried my rope and EMT shears on many flights and TSA has never given me a problem. Though occasionally amusing conversations or a sly grin.

 

[doitb4ugo]

Rope is my favorite bondage medium but it does require some practice. Check these out, enjoy and be sure to report back.

www.iwillknot.com

www.realknots.com

www.twistedmonk.com

 

I've only fairly recently got into serious use of rope so am no expert but here are some things I've learned.

 

 

You can do a lot with rope bondage even if you are not very good with knots. Obviously you would want to avoid suspension bondage. And a knot that fails can also be quite dangerous IF it allows the rope to slip to a bad place such as from the shoulders to the neck.

 

Some people have the misconception that rope bondage is all about S & M, etc. But certain ties in certain places can feel incredibly good for the bottom even if he is not a masochist or even not normally into bondage.

 

 

I want to put in a recommendation for the site from Businessguy:

www.twistedmonk.com

 

I have been trying to learn a bit about rope myself and found that this site can give you 4 or 5 very basic ties that will do most everything you would want...also the videos are very clear and eaxily followed...Other sites I have tried expect you to understand certain knot jargon which looses me completely.

 

Raul's comment about bondage not always being about S&M is quite true from my limited experience. I am very turned on by being bound as a means of submission which is a major turn on for me....

 

Hope we have been of help.

[uwsman2]

In addition to rope....

 

You can get various restraints - cuffs for wrists and legs - that have hooks on them to tie the rope so you are not going to give rope burns to your bottom.

 

I'm also of the "school" that likes being tied up not so much as an S&M thing but more as a giving up control of my body to a trustworthy top. Being tied up and milked, being tied up and caressed, being tied up and fucked -- all fun.

 

But to get back to the question, I also endorse the idea of going to a bondage club and paying close attention to the tops who seem to know what they are doing. If you can arrange to be in New York, the NY Bondage Club meets every Sunday evening, and there are some regulars there - especially Phen - who put on a great show. You can pay close attention to what they are doing. Recently, NYBC has actually had some demo nights when they staged demonstrations and allowed some hands-on instruction. (I'm reporting what I've read on their website - I've not been there for several months.)

 

There used to be an organization in NYC called Gay Male S&M Activists that put on monthly programs at the community center that frequently included demonstrations, and also sponsored workshops in members' homes. In addition, from time to time they would stage a Saturday night "Dungeon Demo" during which several people would simultaneously stage scenes as an educational thing for those in attendance, and they had an annual leather-fest at the community center that featured demonstration-workshops as well. The "Activists" went inactive a few years ago when they found it impossible to recruit enough people who were willing to serve on the board and do the necessary grunt work to organize and execute the events. When nobody wants to be the chair and nobody wants to be the secretary, it's hard to maintain an organization.

[body2body]

I want to Thank you all for your very thoughtful, helpful responses. You have given me the information to help me begin exploring new ways enjoy the time I spend with my friend, and enjoy one another in a new way. You are a Great Guys every one of you.

 

Thank you!

[raulgmanzo]

Some people have the misconception that rope bondage is all about S & M, etc. But certain ties in certain places can feel incredibly good for the bottom even if he is not a masochist or even not normally into bondage.

 

Actually I kind of meant to say that rope PLAY doesn't need to be S & M or EVEN bondage, control and subjugation. Just as tight or sensual clothing, leather, playing in a sling or using a dildo can be gratifying with neither domination nor submission as a focus.

 

There are ties and rope suspensions that allow the person tied up to retain control, feel good, even be dominant, or just look erotic and beautiful.

[whipped guy]

Misconceptions

 

Actually I kind of meant to say that rope PLAY doesn't need to be S & M or EVEN bondage, control and subjugation.

I kind of agree with the always wise Raul... I really don't necessarily equate rope play with S&M even though when I first started doing this being tied up was a major part of it. I actually think that a lot of people are simply thrilled by the concept of being tied up and that's as far as they take it... Conversely I really don't feel that rope etc. needs to be a component of S&M... and in fact it is even a greater turn on for me to have the self-discipline to take what is dished out "like a man" without being restrained by rope or any other type of restraint. While the term bondage implies being restrained, one can actually be "in bondage" and simply be subservient to another individual's power with or without the use of any form of restraints.

 

I guess we are splitting hairs here, but it is important to realize that one does not necessarily imply the other.