Bottoms that are more aggressive than the top..

[Mocha]

Have any tops ran into this before? You know, the clients (or maybe even an escort) where as soon as you or they enter the room they expect you to be rock hard, 12 inches and ready to drill them, HARD?

 

I've experienced that quite a bit and my most recent encounter was with a guy who 'normally' is a top but wanted to get fucked that night. I started off giving him a massage, and before I could even finish the 1st stroke, he's grabbing at my briefs and says, "oh you're not even hard yet". I told him that he just walked in the door and that Im not instantly hard. He then began to do it again, and I told him, "if you want to just get straight to the sexual part and skip this part then we can, but it does help to have some stimulation going on." At one point, I almost sent him home without a refund...

 

I've also come across bottoms who want me to "pound their ass HARDER, HARDER, HARDER!" Its like, wait a minute, who's the top here? Aren't you supposed to be the sub? I just dont like drilling a guy too fast and hard because if it slips, damage may occur :o

 

To me, its like when a bottom acts as he is more aggressive than me, it makes me feel inadequate. I have a certain 'pace' that I go at, it helps so I dont cum too quickly. However, some bottoms seem to get the roles mixed up.

 

I know bottom may not always mean sub, and vice versa...but to me, an aggressive dominant bottom does not turn me on. Any thoughts, input?

[Diverdan]

Communication...

 

Most of the answer IMHO is in the communication you have before you meet or meat on the battlefield!!! I am a top for some things and versatile for others. I try to make sure that the other guy or guys know exactly what I am into and I know what they are into. Nothing worse than unfulfilled expectations and nothing turns me off more than a situation where we both or all can't have fun. I think part of the fun, however, can be when there is some flexability and spontaneity in the situation. I want my partners, whether paid or not, to have fun too and I don't feel that everything has to be just for me, although that can be fun too. I think the best escorts look for advance communication as much as the good clients. There are times when it has become apparent in a conversation that it will just not work, and better for both parties to come to that conclusion in advance of the appointment or date, as the case may be, rather than when you are realizing that in the middle of an akward situation.

[Mocha]

I do understand the communication part, sometimes though even after several emails and having an understanding of what entails. However, the conversation of how hard a bottom wants to get fucked usually isn't something thats spoken of without it turning into cybersex. Thats right up there with "Whats my favorite position".

[+ azdr0710]

different strokes for different folks, so to speak.....

 

communication is most important, as it is with so many things....

 

ideally, to me, the bottom would not act submissive at all, as you somewhat suggest he should (sorry if I read too much into your statement on that)....both dudes should be on equal footing, working together, respecting each other, and listening.........

 

unless you're doing some role-play fantasy thing for fun and one of you is deliberately acting as a dom and all that....

[+ Archer]

Mocha, Any aggressive bottoms you don't want, please feel free to send them my way:D

[Juan Vancouver]

A matter of personal taste... (What do you taste like?)

 

Hey Mocha,

 

When I started escorting, a few years ago, I was dumbfounded by what I discovered: mainly that everything that I have thought to be true about sexuality and intimacy was if not wrong, incomplete and very personal. I learnt that even if I was only able to receive sexual pleasure in a specific way, what gave pleasure to others was most of the times, entirely different and surprising. I believe that a huge part of the thrill of being an escort for me has been opening up to entirely different ways to look at sex, at others, at intimacy, at life, at a human body, at the whole concept of work, and ultimately, I have learnt an entirely different way to look at myself.

 

Anal insertion almost never has anything to do with power dynamics. Sex between two (or more) people rarely obey to the commonly expected "passive vs active" paradigm that our culture wants to make us believe in. I have met a guy who likes to have his power "taken away from him" just to stop you every now and then to let you know how his power should be taken away from him, and a heavy duty Master who keeps asking his slaves what he should be forcing them to do. I have experienced just about everything in between and I am certain that I will keep having my mind blown away by things not being as I have thought them to be.

 

Nothing is quite as it appears at first sight.

 

When it comes to personal taste, I agree with you. It is important to enjoy what one enjoys and I would not recommend you to settle for anything that you don't like.

 

When escorting I would invite you to not only be a little more flexible and free of expectations, but -I am going to take it a bit far- learn to enjoy the strangeness and novelty of every single encounter. If you train yourself to get a thrill and dig the difference it is possible that you will even discover things about yourself.

 

Now, about the "HARDER HARDER HARDER" experience, I want to share something with you. I found a while ago that some people have specific mantras or phrases that they like to repeat during sex. "Oh, yes!', "That's nice!", "Yes, big boy!", "I just want you to fuck me!", "HARDER HARDER HARDER HARDER", are just a few examples. It is possible that if you are fucking him as hard as you can and he keeps yelling harder, he may be doing so because doing so turns him on. It has absolutely nothing to do with you.

 

We have all been in the situation where the guy is yelling "FUCK ME NOW!!!" at the top of his lungs... while you are in fact fucking him. This is not an order, it is a fetish, and it is not meant to be obeyed, it is meant to be enjoyed. (Sometimes partners do ask you to do things so it is important to learn the difference between these two.)

 

Sadly, sometimes when your sexual partner calls you "monster dick", "huge boy", "fuckmachine", "sexybeast" and lovely things like those he may not actually be calling YOU that, he just likes to say those things.

 

But hey, goes both ways, when they cry: "Take it up that nasty Tijuana back alley, you lowly trollop!" they may not necessarily be referring to you...

 

(Not that I would dislike that, necessarily.) (And no, My nature is not submissive nor believe that someone taking it up his ass {Nor someone from Tijuana} should be.)

 

As for damage occurring because of hard fucking, if you use enough lube of the right type and change your condoms regularly, you should be safe.

 

I am sure your technique is great, that you are a hot, sexy stud, and there is no reason to take it personally or feel insecure about a needy bottom's behaviour. In fact if you allow yourself to take your emotions out of the equation and relax into it, you may find that it is quite exciting to become just a piece of hard meat at the service of a soft, wet and bossy master. (If he gets too crazy and out of control, you are always allowed to spank him into stillness and reminding him who the cock is.)

 

As long as you and your limits are being respected, there is a lot to be learnt and enjoyed in the odd ways we all love to have sex.

 

I wish you the best of luck in this profession, and send you a tight hug.

 

Always hard and warm,

 

Juan

 

+30 694 268 9904

 

http://www.daddysreviews.com/review.php?who=juan_vancouver

[Guest soccerstud]

"Harder, Harder, Harder"

 

What's so incredibly wonderful about sex--gay sex--is that there simply is no "norm." The general term for a bottom might be "passive," but I would think there are very submissive bottoms who get their jollies from giving up to their sex partner whatever assertiveness they have in their "real" life ; but I know for sure (cuz I am one) that there are bottoms who are anything butt passive and who will be actively engaged in positioning, directing and verbalizing. To me, it's just that much more fun. And verbalizing "harder, harder, harder" (or whatever) simply means that I am enjoying it that much. I can get absolutely pounded and still be verbalizing. Juan is right; it's not necessarily directed at the fuckor, but may just be the fuckee's way of expressing pure joy at what the fuckor is giving him :-)

 

As usual, Juan, your post is well thought out and well expressed. Thanks. Sorry we didn't meet while you were still in N. America. They would have heard me yell "harder, harder, harder" all the way to London :-)

[Rod Hagen]

Soccerstud is NO passive bottom that's for sure.

[NYTomcat]

Ok what can I say.

 

Nothing turns me on like an aggressive bottom

 

I can't think of anything Better than a bottom who just wants to be pounded harder. Juan is absolutely right. Dont take it as a command that you are not performing. Quite the opposite. In my opinion its telling you that the bottom is so into the moment they want more. Its not a demand for harder but perhaps faster. More loudly or even time to talk back. Hell. Try slowing down and withholding a little. But make the comment. "Not til you prove you really want it" build the anticipation even if your already giving 110% its the perception that great things are to come or cum as the case may be.

 

The mind is the biggest and best sexual organ. Small town john being the notable exception along with a few others. use this to both your advantages. If you want more foreplay. Then make him work to get u there. I can almost guarantee someone who is screaming harder and aggressively seeking to be fucked. Will work you feverishly. So that ultimately you will do the same.

[Guest novabear22031]

Have any tops ran into this before? You know, the clients (or maybe even an escort) where as soon as you or they enter the room they expect you to be rock hard, 12 inches and ready to drill them, HARD?

 

I've experienced that quite a bit and my most recent encounter was with a guy who 'normally' is a top but wanted to get fucked that night. I started off giving him a massage, and before I could even finish the 1st stroke, he's grabbing at my briefs and says, "oh you're not even hard yet". I told him that he just walked in the door and that Im not instantly hard. He then began to do it again, and I told him, "if you want to just get straight to the sexual part and skip this part then we can, but it does help to have some stimulation going on." At one point, I almost sent him home without a refund...

 

I've also come across bottoms who want me to "pound their ass HARDER, HARDER, HARDER!" Its like, wait a minute, who's the top here? Aren't you supposed to be the sub? I just dont like drilling a guy too fast and hard because if it slips, damage may occur :o

 

To me, its like when a bottom acts as he is more aggressive than me, it makes me feel inadequate. I have a certain 'pace' that I go at, it helps so I dont cum too quickly. However, some bottoms seem to get the roles mixed up.

 

I know bottom may not always mean sub, and vice versa...but to me, an aggressive dominant bottom does not turn me on. Any thoughts, input?

 

Sadly in the day to day world I have met bottoms like that. When I hire I let them know I need some "encouragement" to make it happen.

 

Your comment about "pounding it harder" is part of the "game play" - tend to be a gentle Top here. But realize that there are bottoms that love to feel it rough. In the end is about chemistry and communication. I know for myself I can be very much in in to the "love making" - taking things slow and easy. Almost teasing them... There are other times they just want so bad I want to be the animal that they want...

 

In the end it our being the Top to get pleasure from a bottom, and the bottom to pleasure the Top - as maybe the Top see it...

[Mocha]

ideally, to me, the bottom would not act submissive at all, as you somewhat suggest he should (sorry if I read too much into your statement on that)....both dudes should be on equal footing, working together, respecting each other, and listening..

 

Well, yes and no. When I was referring to aggressive bottoms, I wasn't just meaning in bed with words. Aggressive bottoms exist in the nightclubs as well. Truth be told, I run into more bottoms who are quick to throw their ass up on my cock in a nightclub than tops (well it could have to do with how I look, but still...).

 

As for Juan, what you said made alot of sense also. And good that you mentioned all that because few years ago I was dating a guy who was a bit older than me and he was a (versatile) bottom. I asked him if he felt 'like the woman' (I know that sounds outdated, but some bottoms out there turn into the woman, e.g. start carrying purses) in the relationship by being a bottom, and he said no. I was relieved that he said no and that what we did in bed didn't matter because I wanted to date a man, not some queen.

 

As for the equal footing comment, I was not suggesting that the bottom should be some subservient guy with no rights. Thats a bit extreme. However, I don't mind a bottom who acts a bit coy...I've met bottoms who behave coy and mildly aggressive at the same time. Thats a very hot medium there. Some bottoms like to skip the dick sucking part and expect me to go straight in. It dont work like that with me, they have to suck my dick 1st.