Looking For Honesty In Advertising

[+ Lucky]

The ad is titled "Don't Miss This Critic's Pick." It goes on to quote several critics as follows:

 

"Wonderful" "Endearing" "Fabulous"

 

As for the dancing, the quotes are:

 

"Buoyant tap-dance choreography"

 

"Exuberant...gotta dance gusto and seemless elegance of Gene Kelly, Fred and Ginger, and the Nicholas Brothers!"

 

"Awesome"

 

And, for the show:

 

"If your emotional indicators are showing negative numbers, Looking for Billy Haines is the stimulus you need to set your heart on the road to recovery."

 

"I just adored it."

 

Now, I tried to cut and paste those quotes, but when I did, the letters faded so they were unreadable. Why was that you ask? Well, probably so people couldn't do what I am doing.

 

I'm going to actually read the reviews, from such stellar critics as theaterlife.com, edgePhiladelphia.com, and showbusinessweekly.com. No major critics are cited.

 

First,theaterlife.com. They didn't really review he show. They did a blurb on the opening night, complete with pictures. Here is all they had to say about the show:

"A new comedy Looking For Billy Haines about a gay movie star from the 1920’s and 1930’s, who sacrificed his career to live openly with his partner, opened March 25th at Theatre Row’s Lion Theatre. The clever story written by NY Times best- selling author Suzanne Brockmann (All Through the Night) and Will McCabe is directed by Brockmann as well. The show features music by Barry Singer and cool tap choreography by Joseph Cullinane, which the cast perform with commited zest."

 

Do you see any of the words quoted above? Neither do I.

\

The edgephiladelphia review starts out: "Jason Gaffney is one lucky guy. Most actor-wannabes in New York have to try out for any part. Gaffney has two talented parents who wrote an entire play for him to star in....he’s charming and affable and exudes a winning personality.

 

But, gawky, somewhat average-looking, with a slight speech impediment (I think he was wearing a retainer the night I attended) and a crooked smile, he’s not leading man material...Gaffney’s slight shoulders aren’t quite broad enough to support an entire show. But neither is the plot, a slice-of-life of contemporary New York...I’m sorry if I’m being so hard on Looking for Billy Haines. In many ways, it’s a cute little show with some affecting moments. I saw a sub for the (fantasy) Billy, but he was quite good, and Jason Michael Butler, who plays Harlan, is excellent.

 

But seeing characters like this brings out the curmudgeon in me.

 

That's the edgephiladelphia review they say is a critic's pick. More of a pick-on the show review, huh?

 

showbusinessweekly.com actually did like the show. The "exuberant" quote above is from them, as is the "emotional indicators" quote. I still haven't found the review that says wonderful, or fabulous, but the last review says endearing.

 

Reader reviews in the NY Times are scathing, starting with one calling this a "trainwreck" of a show. The Times critic didn't like it.

 

theatremania.com says: " It's a great story, but its dramatic potential is barely tapped in Suzanne Brockmann and Will McCabe's dreary new play." "Overall, however, the acting is woefully amateurish." "hackneyed dialogue."

 

nytheater.com gives the "buoyant choreography" quote above, but says " if you're looking for a compelling story about the forgotten screen icon of the title, keep looking." "Looking for Billy Haines: that's exactly what the audience is doing when watching this undercooked romantic comedy."

 

backstage.com says:"Suzanne Brockmann and Will McCabe's debut dramatic effort, "Looking for Billy Haines," is utterly uninterested in finding him."

 

A website called stagegrade finishes my story. They summarize various other reviews as follows:

 

Reviews

 

C

 

Tzipora Kaplan, Theatre Is Easy

I am intrigued by the idea. The impulse to morph what would be a standard New York showbiz dating comedy into something a little more magical, a little more theatrical, by setting Jamie's story against Billy's, is nice (also, it's not often one gets tap interludes in a straight play, and I love that). While the germ of the idea is intriguing, it remains just that; intriguing. The concept holds promise, the show doesn't gel. The script is okay, some moments have sparkle, but most moments fall on the floor with a heavy thud. The direction and design get the job done in a perfectly average way, and the choreography is lovely. (Read Full Review)

 

 

 

C

 

Anita Gates, The New York Times

In some other theater season, “Looking for Billy Haines” might have been welcome as a pleasant, lightweight entertainment. It’s about a dashing gay 1920s movie star who is run out of the business when he refuses to pose as straight by marrying some starlet and giving up the man he loves. It’s also about a young aspiring actor auditioning for a part in a movie telling Haines’s story and fretting over his closeted boyfriend. But first-rate productions like “Next Fall” and serious, admirable ones like “The Temperamentals” are playing blocks away, so audiences are not exactly desperate for an evening of theater that represents and celebrates a gay male world. (Read Full Review)

 

 

 

D+

 

Heather J. Violanti, Nytheatre.com

It could be fun, it could be fascinating. It could be another variation on life imitating art imitating life. As written and directed by Suzanne Brockmann, however, the play doesn't deliver on its promise. Billy Haines is an elegant cipher, but he gets lost amid a collection of underwritten characters. Jamie is awfully earnest but little else. His roommates, with their cardboard neuroses, resemble rejected character sketches from Friends. Structurally, the play's constant shifting from direct address to dream sequence to objectivity feels clumsy. The overly literal scene transitions, when the actors needlessly move tables, chairs, and a sofa to suggest various locales, don't help. (Read Full Review)

 

 

 

F+

 

Erik Haagensen, Backstage

Brockmann is a best-selling author of gay romance novels, while McCabe is "the pen name for an Edgar Award finalist." This undoubtedly explains the reams of narration that sweet-natured Jason T. Gaffney must deliver as Jamie. Time and again the play stalls for these undramatic expositional sections. But the writing is no better in the candy-coated scenes, which suggest an Adam Rapp play as rewritten by TV's Mister Rogers. Brockmann's heavy-handed direction doesn't help the eager company, whose credits skew heavily to musicals, no doubt because everyone is required to tap dance. (Read Full Review)

 

 

 

F

 

Dan Bacalzo, TheaterMania

Gaffney and Cullinane are skilled tap dancers, making these sequences the most dynamic within the show. Unfortunately, an act two pas de deux without the tap shoes is not as well executed. Throughout the play, Jamie and sometimes other characters break the fourth wall to talk to the audience. This device is too often used to deliver chunks of exposition, or to tell the audience how a character is feeling, rather than actually showing us. Additionally, Brockmann -- who is also the production's director -- has been unable to find ways to effectively bridge several of the scenes, resulting in clunky transitions. (Read Full Review)

 

 

 

Back to me

 

So, going back to the email I received calling this a critic's pick- honest? Hardly. I want a refund! I bought my ticket in good faith and feel totally deceived.

[+ Lucky]

Resolution

 

I was informed that all sales are final, but that the producers would refund my ticket personally, and then donate it to a youth from a shelter for gays who have been thrown out of their homes.

In light of that, I said that I would donate the ticket and not seek a refund. I hope the kid likes the show.

[MsGuy]

Nothing new under the sun.

 

All sales are donated to a shelter for gay [youths] who have been thrown out of their homes. In light of that, I said that I would donate a ticket. The kids like the show.

 

Looking for honesty in Broadway ads is kinda like looking for disinterested analysis in our politics ghetto.

 

I may be misremembering but I seem to recall a send up of theatrical ads in Mad Magazine back in the 60's. Demonstrated how to use selective quotes to transform pans into praise. Maybe the producers used that article as a how to manual.

 

Loved your quoted post, Lucky. Is there a web site where I can make a contribution?

[+ Lucky]

But you are misquoting me. I did not say that all sales are being donated. I said that they would donate my ticket. As it is, once I said I would donate it, they then matched it so the person would not have to attend alone.

[MsGuy]

But you are misquoting me.

 

Misquoted?

 

Well, I might have left out a few words and forgotten to insert an ellipse here and there :o, possibly even adjusted singular to plural and such, but misquote--Never!

[+ Lucky]

"Loved your posts, Lucky. Is there a web site where I can make a contribution to you?

 

Hey, as long as you feel that way, go ahead and misquote me!

[uwsman2]

I saw it...

 

OK, so it was a bit amateurish, but all the same I found it endearing. Jeffrey Gaffney is not a suave professional actor, but he is cute in an awkward sort of way and actually dances rather well. The plotting is contrived but entertaining. The critics are merciless most of the time and seem to think that anything that gets put on in the off-Broadway theatre row venues should be held to the same standards as a multimillion-dollar Broadway production. Don't always believe what you read in the reviews.

[+ Lucky]

When the reviews are this consistent, I believe them.