TAKE BACK THIS SITE! (Part III)

[bluenix]

Parts I and II stimulated me to continue thinking about how we can shape this community into the kind of place we all want it to be. Positive and supportive as well as sexy.

 

One idea I had, if we could elevate the level of diction around here, I think it could be so improving for everyone. And I don't mean blatantly correcting somebody. No, I mean leading from the front, by example, and mentoring.

 

Let me give an example. If somebody writes, "He crashed his milk truck all over my face," we could respond, "Uh, that sounds hot but I think you mean 'climaxes'," and maybe add a smiley face.

 

Or if somebody uses the word 'fuck' we could gently suggest that 'intercourse' is a more inclusive word. Better yet, we could affirm the thought while also role modeling a better response by saying, "Oh, yes, making love is so hot!"

 

Guys, we have before us an opportunity. Are we going to seize it? Everybody! Put on your thinking caps and let's see what else we can brainstorm to make this board a better place for everyone.

 

Something tells me this is just the beginning.

[Guest regulation]

:-)

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>Let me give an example. If somebody writes, "He crashed his

>milk truck all over my face," we could respond, "Uh, that

>sounds hot but I think you mean 'climaxes'," and maybe add a

>smiley face.

>

>Or if somebody uses the word 'fuck' we could gently suggest

>that 'intercourse' is a more inclusive word. Better yet, we

>could affirm the thought while also role modeling a better

>response by saying, "Oh, yes, making love is so hot!"

>

>Guys, we have before us an opportunity. Are we going to

>seize it? Everybody! Put on your thinking caps and let's see

>what else we can brainstorm to make this board a better

>place for everyone.

>

>Something tells me this is just the beginning.

 

The beginning of the end if you get your way!

 

Either you are labouring under the illusion that you are Laura Bush or else you have watched "The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie" once too often.

 

Thunderbuns

[Rick Munroe]

Thank you, bluenix! How cool to finally be satirized on here. They say parody is the truest form of flattery & tribute. Now I know how Madonna must have felt when she saw Julie Brown's Medusa: Dare to be Truthful mockumentary. Are you gonna show us your ass next?

[bluenix]

>Thank you, bluenix! How cool to finally be satirized on

>here. They say parody is the truest form of flattery &

>tribute.

 

'Tribute' leans to overstatement }> , but thanks for being a good sport.

 

>Are you gonna show us your ass next?

 

Okay.

 

http://www.fattriathlete.com/uploads/Ass%20Cross%20Single.jpg

[CT Dick]

A+++

 

Wow. Great posting, Blue!:7 :7 :7

 

Dick

[bluenix]

Thanks a

 

>Wow. Great posting, Blue!:7 :7 :7

>

>Dick

 

http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-6.gif http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-6.gif http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-6.gif http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-6.gif

 

http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-6.gif http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-6.gif http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-6.gif http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-6.gif

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>>Let me give an example. If somebody writes, "He crashed his

>>milk truck all over my face," we could respond, "Uh, that

>>sounds hot but I think you mean 'climaxes'," and maybe add a

>>smiley face.

>>

>>Or if somebody uses the word 'fuck' we could gently suggest

>>that 'intercourse' is a more inclusive word. Better yet, we

>>could affirm the thought while also role modeling a better

>>response by saying, "Oh, yes, making love is so hot!"

>>

>>Guys, we have before us an opportunity. Are we going to

>>seize it? Everybody! Put on your thinking caps and let's see

>>what else we can brainstorm to make this board a better

>>place for everyone.

>>

>>Something tells me this is just the beginning.

>

>The beginning of the end if you get your way!

>

>Either you are labouring under the illusion that you are

>Laura Bush or else you have watched "The Prime Of Miss Jean

>Brodie" once too often.

 

I think some of you guys have misunderstood what I was trying to say above.

 

I have no problem with suggesting that posters refrain from the vitriolic attacks we have seen in the past.

 

But it sounds to me as if Bluenix is wanting to sanitize our language to the point where it could be printed on the back of menues in a family type restaurant.

 

What's wrong with saying words like fuck and cocksucker. We say them everyday in real life.

 

Can you really hear anyone of us saying to an escort. "I would like to perform felatio on your penis"? I don't think so. Or try saying "I would like you to insert your penis into my annus so as we can make beautiful love" Come on guys - get real. Or have I found the Pollyanna website?

 

Thunderbuns

[Guest Les]

RE: Thanks a

 

[h2]How can I become an asshole in five easy steps?[/h2]

[yakfqa138][div]

[strong]Introduction[/strong]

 

---

Have you ever thought that deep down you really were not a nice person? If no, this guide probably is not for you. If yes, congratulations, you're well on your way to becoming an Asshole! If you follow these easy steps, you will be able to ensure that people think of you as an asshole, and not as a mere jerk, putz, loser or boor.

 

 

 

[strong]Step One: Have Impossibly Refined Sensibilities[/strong]

 

---

This is the most essential step to becoming an asshole, and probably the most difficult. It requires an amount of study because you will need to know your field. Faking is not an option; a fake will be held up as an object of scorn and as a pretentious moron, which is clearly not your objective. I'd suggest specializing in a particular area, like food or music. While General Assholery is spectacularly impressive, it requires nearly a lifetime of study to properly attain. Knowing your field means knowing it utterly; if you intend on being a Food Asshole, you'll not need to be able to instantly tell the difference between a good Chateau Lafaurie-Peyraguey and an indifferent Puligny-Montrachet, you'll need to be able to expound to your host or hostess on why the former would have been a much better choice to serve with dessert.

 

 

 

[strong]Step Two: Use Really Big Words[/strong]

 

---

This is a much simpler step in your ascendance to Divine Asshole. All you'll need for this is a thesaurus and a dictionary. Take some common place words and replace them with obscure ones, instead of "beauty" say "pulchritude", instead of "childish" say puerile. Make certain that you are properly using your new obscure words; loudly correct anyone who uses them improperly.

 

 

 

[strong]Step Three: Choose Something To Hate[/strong]

 

---

It doesn't matter what, as long as it is something almost universally loved. Don't hate the French if you're English. Don't hate the Backstreet Boys or N'Sync, or you may be mistaken for a wit instead of an asshole. Whatever you do decide to hate, make sure you know enough about it to hate it properly, I'd suggest hating something in your field of expertise. If you're a Food Asshole, hate Italian Cuisine, if you're a Music Asshole, try hating Mozart or The Beatles. Make sure that whatever you do hate, is common enough to come up in casual conversation; if you're an Art Asshole, don't hate Gustave Caillebotte, as it's hard to bring conversation repeatedly around to lesser-known impressionists.

 

 

 

[strong]Step Four: Always Manage To Turn Conversation Around To You[/strong]

 

---

No matter what the topic of conversation is about, make sure you play a starring role in it. If someone is complaining about their hateful and psychotic ex-boyfriend, tell them all about your evil ex, who was way more evil and psychotic then theirs. If you don't have an ex, make one up. If someone manages to mention something remotely related to your field of expertise, monopolize the conversation. If possible, turn the conversation back to the thing you chose to hate in Step Three and complain loudly about it.

 

 

 

[strong]Step Five: You Are Always Right, Be Secure In This[/strong]

 

---

This is the culmination of your training as an asshole. Once you have mastered the first four steps, you are ready for this. When someone decides to argue with you about the merits of the thing you hate in step 3, intellectually bludgeon them using the words you learned in step two. This should not be especially difficult if the hated item is one in your area of expertise from step one. Resort to ad hominem attacks deriding your opponent's intelligence. Don't be overly concerned about being clever, witty or eloquent; you are an asshole afterall, not a bitch. If you manage to win the argument either by logic and reason or by your opponent leaving in disgust; be an ungracious winner and taunt your fallen foe.

 

 

 

[strong]Conclusion[/strong]

 

---

If you carefully adhere to the above steps, you will be a Supreme Asshole in no time. While you may not have many friends, you can be secure in the knowledge that being an asshole is always better than being a jerk or a loser; they not only lack friends, they lack style.

[/font][/color][/html]

 

http://www.harrythecat.com/SMILEY/a13.gif

[Donnie]

>But it sounds to me as if Bluenix is wanting to sanitize our

>language to the point where it could be printed on the back

>of menues in a family type restaurant.

 

No, I believe it's called "sarcasm".

[Flower]

>>Something tells me this is just the beginning.

>

>The beginning of the end if you get your way!

>

>Either you are labouring under the illusion that you are

>Laura Bush or else you have watched "The Prime Of Miss Jean

>Brodie" once too often.

>

>Thunderbuns

 

OMG, TB -- at first, when I read this, I thought that you really did get it and were trying to one-up Blue with his "literary work that imitated the characteristic style of Rick Monroe for comic effect or ridicule." (see http://www.dictionary.com). I said to myself, "ol' TB isn't so "obtuse" afterall, and might just have a sense of humor somewhere in there"--then all those warm and fuzzy thoughts were dashed by your post immediately following

 

To make things a little easier:

"parody

n 1: a composition that imitates somebody's style in a humorous way [syn: lampoon, spoof, sendup, mockery, takeoff, burlesque, travesty, charade, pasquinade] 2: humorous or satirical mimicry [syn: mockery, takeoff] v 1: make a spoof of; make fun of [syn: spoof] 2: make a parody of; "The students spoofed the teachers" [syn: spoof, burlesque] "

Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University

 

HAPPY FORTH OF JULY ALL!

Flower :*

[CT Dick]

100%

 

You got it right (although a bit long ).

 

The husband of one of my coworkers is the biggest asshole I know and as I read your definition, it fit Michael completely.

 

This Brooklyn boy does have the added touch of accomplishing all this with an affected English accent.

 

Dick

[+ honcho]

>Instead of using ... crashing his ... truck ... climaxing ...

 

Even though english was my worst subject in school, when I read Hemmingway's "The old man and the sea", I was moved and impressed by how powerful and descriptive simple plain language could be.

 

I don't think Hemmingway would have used the word "Climaxes" ...

 

 

Honcho

 

Curmudgeonly yours, and ever willing to play "straight" man to somebody's rude idea of a joke ....

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>OMG, TB -- at first, when I read this, I

>thought that you really did get it and were trying to one-up

>Blue with his "literary work that imitated the

>characteristic style of Rick Monroe for comic effect or

>ridicule." (see http://www.dictionary.com). I said to myself, "ol'

>TB isn't so "obtuse" afterall, and might just have a sense

>of humor somewhere in there"--then all those warm and fuzzy

>thoughts were dashed by your post immediately following

 

 

OK Flower - I guess I've been had (again) ;-)

 

Sure I undersdand parody. But with the proposed sanitization of the site, I really had no reason to think that even the wildest suggestions were not to be taken seriously. I was waiting for a member to suggest we start posting a daily column with quotes from Dr. Laura!

 

And BTW - I really do have a sense of humor (or humour as we spell it north of the border) Try me!

 

Thunderbuns

[Rick Munroe]

>But with the proposed sanitization of the site

 

For the record, Thunderbuns, I never proposed "sanitization." I never once tried to suggest or dictate (as if I had that power) what people should be saying and how, except for my plea to stop ridiculing people's spelling & grammar. What I did suggest was that if we don't like the unnecessary personal attacks & nastiness which is intended to hurt, then we should just ignore it & it will end on its own, since we can't & shouldn't attempt to stop anyone from posting what they want to post. I think that's a far cry from "sanitizing." I was very careful to word my posts so that it wouldn't seem like I was advocating censorship, because I don't want that & I know it would lead to the demise of the board.