Bum Sniffer

[MsGuy]

& you thought nothing could surprise you anymore:

 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2779253/Hunt-for-shop-nut-who-smelled-staff-members-bum.html#ixzz0aNcSWNRo

[+ Lucky]

But what did he do wrong to involve the police?

[MsGuy]

No doubt the constables desire him to "cooperate with police inquiries."

 

It looks like a classic case of "[the English] don't mind where you make love, so long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses." (attributed to Lady Astor)

[mansniffing]

"Does it really matter what these affectionate people do — so long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses!"––Mrs. Patrick Campbell

 

Reply to a young actress who asserted that an older actor in a production showed too much affection for the leading man (c. 1910); as reported by Alan Dent in Mrs. Patrick Campbell, p. 78 (1961).

[MsGuy]

Works for me. I like the wording of your version better.