Escorts as Diet Incentive?

[Guest JustStarting]

Thanks to HooBoy, I had my first escort and first gay experience earlier this year at age 50. In the subsequent months, I've gone to the gym lost 35+ pounds and while I'm no Tom Cruise, I'm no longer the Pillsbury Dough Boy, either. Recently I contacted Matt about his upcoming trip to LA. I told him a bit about myself, and was surprised that he responded that he had frequently seen a similar phenomenon: men losing weight and getting fit even at middle age shortly after their first gay experience. Any one else (client or escorts) with a similar story? I've read that the IRS now will allow diet expenses as a legal deduction--think I can deduct my time with Brogan?

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

>Any one else (client or escorts) with a similar story?

 

I'm sure many of us fit those shoes. Although I started my shrink spell about three weeks before my first escort experience -- due to a knee injury -- the escort experience re-enforced my commitment and I dropped 115 pounds in 12 months. Undertook weight training to rerrange what was left -- a work in progress.

 

 

:-)

[pacnwescort]

>I told him a bit about myself, and was surprised

>that he responded that he had frequently seen a similar

>phenomenon: men losing weight and getting fit even at

>middle age shortly after their first gay experience. Any

>one else (client or escorts) with a similar story?

 

I have a number of clients who have gone through pretty remarkable physical transformations since I met them. I would like to think its because my fabulous body is an inspiration to them, LOL, but I think thats putting the cart before the horse. (Is that like being hung like a horse?) This is just repeating what I said in a different post about clients who have a "development" agenda, but I think some people who hire escorts basically do it to get from Point A to Point B, and often the journey includes weight loss and weight lifting.

 

I have a client who has a great therapist, and I was so intrigued by what the client told me about this guy that I went to see him myself. (Not that I would ever have a reason to see a therapist. He he he). Anyway, the therapist sees lots of sex workers and clients of sex workers, and part of his whole concept of escorting is that it is "sexual finishing school." So its no surprise that a decision to have a gay experience or hire an escort tends to coincide with other similar decisions, like going on a weight loss program.

 

Makes things more fun for me. Then I get to really work em hard during a session. Pump, baby, pump!

 

Hope you were kidding about escorts being used as a tax deduction. Try explaining that one to an IRS auditor.

 

Steven

[email protected]

[Guest Spunk]

Being gay and hiring escorts is an incentive to diet? I would think health should be the first thing that would come to a fat persons mind. Maybe your confusion in reason is why you are so fat to begin with.

[+ Axiom2001]

Again I implore your kindness... Could you drop me a line in my special box on this site informing me of the program which afforded you the opportunity to drop 115 pounds in a year, please!

[+ deej]

>Being gay and hiring escorts is an incentive to diet? I

>would think health should be the first thing that would come

>to a fat persons mind. Maybe your confusion in reason is why

>you are so fat to begin with.

 

You truly are a despicable human being, Spunk, or a teenager with no self-control. You *certainly* have no respect or compassion for your fellow man, as you've amply demonstrated around here.

 

You choose to IGNORE (in fact trounce) heartfelt posts from gentlemen who shared their realization/coming out process, which included hiring escorts, and their own reaction. You rudely insult them.

 

Does Mommy know you're using the computer to visit this site? I'll bet she doesn't. There will be hell to pay when she finds out.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

>Being gay and hiring escorts is an incentive to diet? I

>would think health should be the first thing that would come

>to a fat persons mind.

 

I'll repsond to that part of your post that merits one.

 

That is the best incentive but one seldom acted upon. It wasn't enough for me or for most others. It isn't incentive for smokers who seem to be in the majority of gay me I see. Not true for heavier drinkers, red meat eaters. or the averqage couch potato.

 

What gave me the incentive after 40 years was the fact that I suffered a debilitating double knee injury from which I had only partially recovered after a year and it was going to leave me on cains for the rest of my 330 pound life. I got myself focused on how I wanted to spend the rest of my days and in the near term how I would get around the next day. I was not dealing with potential problems down the road, they had arrived and impacted my quality of life not to mention that my liver was not going to last foever on a steady diet of 20 Ibuprofen tablets daily.

 

IMHO, one will not succeed in undertaking a life style change -- and make no mistake, it takes nothing less -- by doing this for someone else. One must do it for himself, other incentives must be secondary.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Axiom, I will reply here for the beneifit of other interested too, when I have more time. Now I must go to work. :-)

[Bilbo]

And I think I'm repeating myself, but such a large life style change is not going to be successfully undertaken when there is self hatred involved. You cannot hate your fat and get rid of it effectively, IMHO. You must first accept it, embrace it and then say goodbye to it. It won't work to say, my health demands that I get rid of this ugly, hated fat. Say rather, that is and was a part of me which I must let go of now because there is another part of me which I wish to express. (There seems to me to be a natural habit to reinvent oneself every 5 - 7 years.)

[swallowU]

I've read that the IRS now will allow diet expenses as a legal

>deduction--think I can deduct my time with Brogan?

 

Have your doctor write a letter stating that you require cardio-vascular workouts as part of your diet plan and to assist in the recovery of your health. Then hire Brogan as a 'cardio-vascular' trainer..... }>

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>IMHO. You must first accept it,

>embrace it and then say goodbye to it. It won't work to say,

>my health demands that I get rid of this ugly, hated fat.

>Say rather, that is and was a part of me which I must let go

>of now because there is another part of me which I wish to

>express.

 

Well - IMHO I think the above is just a crock of gobbly gook. If you hate the colour of your living room walls, you paint them. If you hate your circle of freinds, you get new ones. If you hate your job, you change your career or employer. AND IF YOU HATE YOUR UGLY FAT, YOU GET RID OF IT.

 

All this crap about accepting it and embracing it before you get rid of it is just bull shit - plain & simple. This is the stuff that useless "selp help" books are full of - which one were you reading?

 

Thunderbuns

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>

>What gave me the incentive after 40 years was the fact that

>I suffered a debilitating double knee injury from which I

>had only partially recovered after a year and it was going

>to leave me on cains for the rest of my 330 pound life.

 

TY - You deserve much praise for losing 115 lbs. I'm sure it was not an easy thing to accomplish and I take my hat off to you. Keep up the good work at the gym and I'm sure you will be well rewarded.

 

Thunderbuns

[Guest WestTxGuy]

I've been hiring escorts for awhile, but I only started working out at the gym seriously about 9 months ago. I'd been a runner before, but was still about 20 lbs overweight and flabbier around the middle than I wanted to be.

 

I didn't start working out as a result of hooking up with escorts, but the muscle and definition I've added in the past few months has definitely made the hooking up more fun. I love to see an escort's face "light up" when he sees me, which I assume means that I'm in pretty good shape. And I won't deny that I think about that a lot when I'm going through an especially strenous workout at the gym. It's nice to be appreciated, and not many other people see me completely nude.

 

Trimming down and getting more muscular has definitely helped my confidence, AND I'm getting more looks from guys at the gym and elsewhere, which is not something I've been used to. It's kind of fun for someone who was heading toward being a 40 yr old has-been.:-)

[Bilbo]

I happen to be a Reiki Master Teacher. And a voracious reader, due in part to my Mother having been a librarian.

 

If you hate the white on white look that most apartments are sadly rented with, and this leads you to paint a wall, that wall will not slowly turn white again. If you hate any part of yourself and change it without understanding and accepting what caused you to be that way in the first place, you will slowly turn back into what you hated in the first place. I would wager that most people who do not accept themselves, in toto, and who buy a diet book will find themselves buying another and yet another.

 

As for yourself, might I suggest yoga? Particularly the breathing exercises (pranayama) and the meditation? There is a yoga teacher in California you might want to check out - Jeff Stryker - though I don't remember if it is the one who is famous amongst us from his movies.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Axiom,

 

Now for the reply to your query regarding my program that I used to loose 115 lbs in one year.

 

First a little background: I spent my first seven years as a scrawny underweight child. in my eighth year I started to gain and gain and gain... In high school I took prescription 'speed' i.e diet pills and lost maybe50 pounds from my top of 220 or so. I was pretty dashing at 165 lbs in my senior year but that was short lived.

 

Then after ballooning up to 285 at age 22 I went on the Atkins diet (1973) and lost 83 pounds in five months. I followed it religiously, counted carbs, urinated on ketostix and weighed regularly. THe diet really worked and based on that experience I was (and remain) convinced that my body does not process carbohydrates adequately. Without carb restriction I was lethargic and a big meal would almost always put me to sleep. I was just shy of borderline diabetic.

 

I eventually slipped off the carb restricted wagon, got married, and gained from 203 to probably 350 lbs over the next 20-25 years. My max pant size grew to 56 :'( . I receded slightly from that high water mark by dieting in 'fits and starts' but without any wholehearted commitment. So I never achieved any dramatic success.

 

I review this history to make two points: 1) a tremendous commitment is necessary to achieve striking success and 2) it is not only easy but likely to 'fall of the wagon' over the long run unless you make a serious change to your lifestyle that facilitates your remaining 'on the wagon'. These are 'facts of life' for those of us in this situation IMO.

 

My current success is again based on a low carb diet with exercise, primarily weight training, thrown in for good reason. I'll go into a little detail below.

 

I already explained in another post in this thread how, at this point in my life, I made the major commitment to weight loss and lifestyle change. That one step is the single most difficult and most important step one may take. Without it one will not get very fall along the road. The second most difficult aspect I found was the first week of the carb deprived diet, particularly the first three days.

 

The feelings of deprivation sometimes seem overwhelming -- even though I can eat as much protein and fat as I desire. I'm not kidding when I say that I imagine this is what withdrawal from a psychological dependence is like. This is where your commitment must carry the day. There can be no compromise, no backsliding or all is lost before it has begun -- one must push through this with a single-minded determination.

 

After 72 hours of diligence the worst is over and the intense craving for carbs of all kinds, as well as my appetite in general begins to subside -- at least for me and this has been true every time I have undertaken a low carb diet. After a week it is pretty easy coasting as long as I didn't let my eyes talk my stomach into something it really was not craving. Over the first two weeks I experience a loss of roughly 10 lbs -- primarily water weight. Diarrhea is recurring but that subsides after about two weeks. Then a weight plateau for a couple of weeks as the body tries to figure out what is going on before steady weight loss ensues once again followed periodically by another plateau as the body adjusts. Over the long run I lost an average of 10 lbs a months -- sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less. Rarely I might go for three weeks and not loose anything.

 

Three months after starting the diet I joined a gym for two reasons: the first to strengthen my knees that I had not fully recovered for an injury and to improve the range of motion in them due to early onset of osteoarthritis. The second reason was to put on lean body mass (LBM) -- muscle -- to raise my metabolism. LBM is more costly, energy wise, to maintain that fat. ALso, dieting causes not only a loss of fat but also LBM and I wanted to maintain as much as I could for the reason stated. What I did not appreciate at the time was that a low carb diet and LBM gains are inconsistent. I worked for six months and saw only modest LBM gains if any but I managed to preserve some of what I had. And I could not understand why I was so weak and those skinny high school kids were slinging all kinds of iron around that I couldn’t touch. Turns out muscle strength and grow requires glycogen which requires glucose which requires carbs!!!! But the weight came off…

 

Eventually I added a few carbs just prior to work out and it made a tremendous difference in my strength and LBM began to increase noticably. As I learned more about proper nutrition and body building I added more carbs just prior to and just after workouts (for muscle recovery) and this has led to a gain of about 10 lbs. However, % body fat (BF) continued to decline as did my pant size. I still stay away from carbs at other times during the day. But even though my LBM has grown and % BF has decreased I’m thinking of cutting back on carbs more and increasing aerobic training to drop more BF.

 

I attend a gym six days a week for ninety minutes a session – this is where part of the lifestyle change for me comes in. I have nice equipment available at a reasonable fee, a lot of interesting sights to see :-) and others add incentive and interest to the work out – a social event and one with a purpose. I find solitary exercise a total bore. But surrounded by hot young guys and older ones with which to compare aches and pains make the experience a pleasant one and my 90 minutes is over before I know it.

 

I was diagnosed with hypertension in my late twenties, and with diabetes about five years ago. Also about five years ago my doctor put me on cholesterol lowering medication with the attendant quarterly liver function tests. After the 115 pound weight reduction, my blood pressure returned to normal as did my cholesterol and blood sugar levels. All readings have been sustained and I have been off all prescription meds since.

 

Now for the diet… It is my version of a low carb diet. What makes it special?? Nothing at all. I don’t count or measure anything. I just restrict my carbs in the beginning to as close to zero as I can – that does not mean none just essentially none. No sugars, no starches, in any form this means NO BREAD a killer for me – can’t live with it can’t live without it :-( – but I do, for the most part and NO DAIRY except for real coffee cream. Green vegetables, as much as you want, are allowed such as green beans, broccoli, cauliflower, zuccini, celery, salads. Nothing yellow except for summer squash. NO fruit to begin with. Later on, much later on, fresh strawberries or blueberries in modest amounts. Protein of all kinds – anything at all. I did limit red meat some but not in the extreme. I also limited my fat intake compared my first time on the Atkins diet. Kept most of my added fat in the form of EFA’s -- Flax seed oil and Safflower oil -- for LBM construction purposes and to maintain the necessary raw materials for hormone development (that and some cholesterol). Even watching your carb intake you will naturally pick up 20-25 grams a day unless you are very careful. That is not too much once you are on the low carb road with a good start near zero for an extended period. The fewer the carbs the more rapid the weight loss on average.

 

Eventually I expanded my carbs to take in 15 grams pre workout usually in bread of some sort of snack. Lately, I upped that to 25-40 grams of low glycemic carbs (fruit/beans) pre-workout and 25-40 grams high glycemic carbs (bread/pasta) post-workout. These must be consumed within an hour of a strenuous workout. This is not really for weight reduction but for LBM gain.

 

Eventually when you reach your weight goal, the idea is that you can add some carbs back to your diet. This is the slippery slope – one I have slid all the way down to bottom at least twice before. IMO this just won’t be contained without a lifestyle change that alters your metabolism so you can accommodate added carbs. For me weight lifting and aerobic exercise offers that +/- one hour to window to take in additional carbs without overloading my body’s capacity to process them without disasterous effect. I can even get away with more than that on occasion but my regimen the next day will bring me back in line and keep me on track. At least it has so far.

 

More than you wanted to know… Hope some of it helps.

 

:-)

[guyinsf]

I have lost about 40 pounds, but it has taken me a year. Obviously I'm not on the fast track, but I do feel good about my (relatively) consistent weight loss.

 

While seeing an escort has supported my focus on diet control, I must say that for me the main thing is health -- and a change in doctors. Unfortunately, while under the care of my previous physician, I gained over 80 pounds in about 3 years' time. Even though his nurse weighed me regularly, neither she nor the doctor said anything about my weight gain. More importantly, after the first physical, that doctor did no further blood work to check for diabetes, cholesterol, etc.

 

Because I was getting short shrift in other areas from that doctor, I found a different one. During my first appointment, he pointed out the health risks I was facing by being 5'11" and about 255 pounds. One that was apparent was borderline high blood pressure. He also ordered comprehensive blood work. Fortunately my only other apparent problem was a bad cholesterol ratio. He presented to me a diet plan that I must say merely reflected the "common sense" diet I've heard about all of my life: Don't eat to excess, severely limit intake of fat and processed sugar, don't eat too many carbs, and, I think most importantly, eat as many fruits and vegetables as you want.

 

My biggest weakness has always been desserts, particularly ice cream. Lots of sugar and lots of fat. I started substituting fruit for fatty and sugary snacks, and make sure that I always have some at home and work. Now when I get a hunger pang in the middle of the day, instead of walking over to someone's candy dish or going to a vending machine, I just grab my apple or banana. Probably the best thing about this is that it is impossible for me to "binge" with respect to fruit. Can I eat a half-gallon of ice cream over a period of an hour or so. Unfortunately, yes. (But afterwords I feel really, really bad.) Can I eat more than one apple at once? I'm sure I could, but I don't want to. By the time I'm doing chewing and swallowing, I'm satisfied. I don't crave another. So, instead of consuming over 100 grams of fat (!) and a full day's worth of calories, I get 0 fat and whatever calories happen to be in an apple (I'm not sure what that is, but I'm sure it is relatively negligible).

 

What I like best about the diet I am eating is that I can tell it will be sustainable. Sometimes my weight is stable, and that's when I feel like I am allowing myself to indulge. Once I reach my goal (losing another 40-50 pounds), I know that I will still keep eating the same foods but I also know that I will be able to eat more and remain at the same weight. For most of the past 12 months, I have been able to stick with my diet, which is a good sign for sustainability.

 

On the exercise end, while I used to go to a gym, I found that I am just not able to do that at this point in my life for a variety of reasons. Though weight training is certainly the most effective way to build muscle mass, I must say that my main goals are weight loss and improved cardiovascular health. Since any kind of aerobic exercise will address these issues, I have chosen to just walk -- a lot.

I think the key for anyone is that whatever diet he chooses must be one they can adhere to and one that doesn't require some radical change in food intake over a short period with the intent that once he loses weight, he can return to the same diet he had before. It's probably better to remain overweight than to do this kind of "yo-yo" dieting.

[ad rian]

I guess there are no standard answers, but I wonder whether it is not more common for it to work the other way around. Hiring escorts makes getting laid so much easier that one ends up getting lazy and careless thus making fewer trips to the gym, the barber, and the clothing store, and more frequent trips to the fridge and the liquor store. I sometimes worry that after the ease of great sex with escorts, I will never have the patience to try to sell myself on the truly "personal" services market as opposed to ordering out for take-out.

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>What I like best about the diet I am eating is that I can

>tell it will be sustainable. Sometimes my weight is stable,

>and that's when I feel like I am allowing myself to indulge.

> Once I reach my goal (losing another 40-50 pounds), I know

>that I will still keep eating the same foods but I also know

>that I will be able to eat more and remain at the same

>weight. For most of the past 12 months, I have been able to

>stick with my diet, which is a good sign for sustainability.

 

Congratulations! You seem to have the situation well in hand and understand the most important facets of successful dieting. I'm sure you will reach your goal - and more importantly - be able to maintain your new weight.

 

After you have reached that weight, the ideal is to pick a certain day i.e. Monday morning, weigh yourself every week at that time and if you're up even a pound, get right back on the diet again. That way there is little chance of ever slipping back into your old habits.

 

Keep up the good work!

 

Thunderbuns

[Uncle Bill]

Ad: I tend to agree with you -- at least I think that's what's happened in my case. I remember being very self-conscious about my disproportionate body weight (about the same as Guyinsf's original stats) when I first started seeing escorts about 3 years ago. However, due to my "success" in meeting great guys for hire and having a great time with them, I've lost that feeling. In certain ways, that's been good for my self-esteem. On the other hand, I really need to do something about my weight and overall level of health. The process that Guyinsf has followed is simple, sensible, and sustainable, and hopefully the combination of all of the comments on this thread will get me to do something about my problem.

[guyinsf]

I didn't mention that part of my current program. Right now I weigh myself nearly every day, right after I get up. (It's important to weigh oneself at the same time of day to get an accurate comparison.) I do notice little ups and downs and don't get too freaked out by those. If my weight creeps up and stays there, however, it alerts me that I've lost my focus.

[Matt_Vancouver]

A combination of things

 

I think there are many possible reasons why many men go through a physical transformation that happens to coincide with the hiring of escorts.

A few commonalities (all very generalized)

1) approaching mid-life

2) either coming to terms with their sexuality, or rediscovering it

3) the end of a long term relationship(possible result of #2)

4) an order from their doctor.

 

Often, when men are approaching a major life transition, (IE. coming out) the transformation starts before there is even an awareness of where they are heading.

I've met a few men who started a personal redevelopement without any intentions of making other changes in their lives, and as they became more confident, started to realize other aspects of their lives that they weren't happy with. Is it a cause or the effect?

I think the image transformation, although planned, is a result of subconsious feelings of unease, or unhappiness in their current life.

Of course there are as many possible 'reasons' as their are people, but it would appear, at least in my experience, that the weight loss and initializing contact with an escort, is more than coincidental.

 

But it could be a sports car instead of an escort, or it could be both... or a sports car FOR the escort: )

Matt(sometimes a cigar is just a cigar)

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

RE: A combination of things

 

There is much to what you say, I cannot dispute. However, the phenomenon we are talking about goes farther too IMO and in my experience. This 'transformation phenomenon' transcends age and sex categories.

 

From personal experience when I lost 83 pounds at age 23 (as mentioned above) I had left home/graduate school weighing 285 # , relocating to a 'nothern' city for my first permanent professional job. Nine months later I took a leave of absence and returned to home/graduate school weighing 203#. Along with my appearance, my modes of dress and more strikingly my personality changed. Several male grad students I had known for a few years now viewed me as a definite threat to their place in the social hierachy... I had the attention of three females of top interest to that social group and I had their close attention. My point... the transformation went beyond weight and appearance to personality and perception mirrored in a close knit social group.

 

Second example -- a young couple lived in the same apartment complex as my wife and I ...with kids. Both members of the couple were quite heavy set. THey seemed very compatible and happy. The wife eventually dieted and lost all of her excess weight and certainly looked a different person although she was not exactly model material. The husband had no interest in working to reduce his weight. I observed a strong transformation in the woman's personality just as happened to me. Apparently this led to a change in her expectations and needs. Withing six months she had left husband and taken their small child. Their personalities and outlooks were no longer sufficiently compatible to maintain the marital union.

 

Can we say for sure which comes first: the chicken or the egg -- the physical change causing the behavioral changes or vice versa. I cannot say authoritatively but from my experience I tend to think the physical change liberates the inner person to express parts of the personality that were held in check probably a viariety of reasons some inwardly generated and some in respsone to assumed external reaction. It is also possible that there is a cyclic nature where one aspect feeds the other which then feeds back into the first and so on.

 

As you imply, the human psyche is a complex and confusing entity. This phenomenon happens across age and sex boundaries.