Linguistic Humour.....

[Guest DuchessIvanaKizznhugg]

I know that there are various linguistic "challenges" out there about the invention of new words. The Washington Post conducts one where you have to add or subtract a letter from an existing word to create a new word, and there are others that allow a greater leeway in creating a new word.

 

Either way, I enoy the creative/intellectual spark that people exhibit. Here are a few that were in today's Toronto Star, others from the Washington Post, and one by me:

 

timeslaver, n: any electronic device that is supposed to save time, like say, a Blackberry (Mark Baron)

 

cyberchondriac, n: someone who spends their time searching medical websites for diseases they convince themselves they actually have (Urbandictionary.com)

 

zerotasking, v: to do nothing or have nothing to do (via buzzwhack.com, from the caption of a New Yorker cartoon, showing a serene-looking man in a comfy chair)

 

twisit, n: stopping by to talk to someone for 140 seconds or less

 

giraffiti, n: vandalism spray-painted very, very high

 

glibido, n: all talk and no action

 

ignoranus, n: a person who's both stupid and an asshole

 

intaxication, n: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with

 

sarchasm, n: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it

 

Have you others that can be added to the list??

[Guest TBinCHI]

I know that there are various linguistic "challenges" out there about the invention of new words. The Washington Post conducts one where you have to add or subtract a letter from an existing word to create a new word, and there are others that allow a greater leeway in creating a new word.

 

Either way, I enoy the creative/intellectual spark that people exhibit. Here are a few that were in today's Toronto Star, others from the Washington Post, and one by me:[/color][/size][/font]

 

timeslaver, n: any electronic device that is supposed to save time, like say, a Blackberry (Mark Baron)

 

cyberchondriac, n: someone who spends their time searching medical websites for diseases they convince themselves they actually have (Urbandictionary.com)

 

zerotasking, v: to do nothing or have nothing to do (via buzzwhack.com, from the caption of a New Yorker cartoon, showing a serene-looking man in a comfy chair)

 

twisit, n: stopping by to talk to someone for 140 seconds or less

 

giraffiti, n: vandalism spray-painted very, very high

 

glibido, n: all talk and no action

 

ignoranus, n: a person who's both stupid and an asshole

 

intaxication, n: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with

 

sarchasm, n: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it

 

Have you others that can be added to the list??

 

These are hilarious - thanks for sharing.

[Karl-G]

More

 

Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

 

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dope-ler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

 

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

 

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate , v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade , v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. impotent.

6. Negligent , adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph , v. to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence+, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash , n. a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

 

 

___

[KMEM]

I don't understand why cashstration should be #1. While I get it, it really doesn't make sense. Castration doesn't make one impotent, only sterile. Now if they had written financially sterile...........

 

Sorry to be so persnickety.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Guest greatness]

lol

 

Very nice!

 

I know that there are various linguistic "challenges" out there about the invention of new words. The Washington Post conducts one where you have to add or subtract a letter from an existing word to create a new word, and there are others that allow a greater leeway in creating a new word.

 

Either way, I enoy the creative/intellectual spark that people exhibit. Here are a few that were in today's Toronto Star, others from the Washington Post, and one by me:[/color][/size][/font]

 

timeslaver, n: any electronic device that is supposed to save time, like say, a Blackberry (Mark Baron)

 

cyberchondriac, n: someone who spends their time searching medical websites for diseases they convince themselves they actually have (Urbandictionary.com)

 

zerotasking, v: to do nothing or have nothing to do (via buzzwhack.com, from the caption of a New Yorker cartoon, showing a serene-looking man in a comfy chair)

 

twisit, n: stopping by to talk to someone for 140 seconds or less

 

giraffiti, n: vandalism spray-painted very, very high

 

glibido, n: all talk and no action

 

ignoranus, n: a person who's both stupid and an asshole

 

intaxication, n: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with

 

sarchasm, n: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it

 

Have you others that can be added to the list??

[+ purplekow]

It depends on when you are castrated prior to of after puberty. Prior to puberty the castrated one does not develop second male sexual characteristics. The remain functionally, essentially as a boy. After puberty, the secondary sexual characteristics may weaken and libido and erectile function may wane but not necessarily disappear.

[+ purplekow]

Finfangfool No change in definition.

[Guest DuchessIvanaKizznhugg]

A few new ones.....

 

Sinlaws, n: The parents of your live-in boyfriend/girlfriend (from urbandictionary.com)

 

Churnalism, n: Journalism that churns out articles based on wire stories and press releases, rather than original reporting (from Wordspy.com)

 

Fax potato, n: A person who faxes from one floor to another instead of getting up and running the information because they're too lazy to get out of their chair (from urbandictionary.com)