Tits 101

[Bilbo]

In another thread, whippedguy (Hope I got that name right.) suggested that he'd like to see Tits 101. I made some comments. He asked me to expand upon them. I agreed to do this thread. (BTW, we'd also like to threads on Balls 101 and an expansion on the earlier thread's Flogging or Whips 101). I mention this to let you know someone asked me to write this and I am not just pushing myself forward here, unasked. I would also relish any additions etc. you would like to make. And don't go thinking that I am going to cover everything tonight. I'm not. (Antici....pation, dear Doctor.)

 

First, remember that, as a Master, any toy you use during a session is just an extension of your own body. If you cannot bring a man to those delightful shudders which I believe are called krias with just your own body, do you deserve to try to do it with any toys? I'm not sure you do.

 

Second, the question of speed. As in, IMHO, don't. Eile mit weile. (Which I think is German for Slowly and Carefully.) Now, not everyone agrees with this. My own dear husby of nine years this month, Maverick, doesn't. He wants you to start chewing hard on his nips right at first and don't let up until you get those tit clamps on. And when he tops, he's just about the same way in reverse. This pleases some, but most people want to hit him hard on the top of the head and yell at him to let go. This is one reason why when we are working over someone together we will occaisionally not let him into the room until everything has had a chance to get started my way and build up slowly to where it is ready for him to take over.

And, yes, this may include watching the clock. Not all clock watching is bad. Some of it is necessary to slow things down. Yes, it is. Besides, while this is pleasure, not an endurance test, have you ever known that as soon as you sink down upon someone's cock, he has told you that you are absolutely not going to be let up for, oh, say, fifteen minutes by the clock? It can be a lot of fun.

 

So, Getting Started -- The first time that you are with someone, you should never take off your own clothes, either of you. Time enough after you get to know each other for the bottom to be ordered to strip as soon as he comes in the house, certainly before he enters the play room. No, the first time you gently, reverently, start playing with each other's bodies while you are fully clothed. Then you work at eye contact. (The Renegade Goddess has some delicious things to say about this.) Or, if the bottom resists eye contact, get him to rest his forehead on your chest. This is the first moment of surrender.

Then, you strip the bottom slowly and reverently. And then you let him do the same to you. Or later, perhaps. It can be a wonderful dynamic for the bottom to be naked in the Master's loving embrace, or for the bottom to have to earn, through service, the permission to strip the Top.

 

Then, Fingers -- soft stroking, gentle pulls on the hair around the nips, and on the nips themselves, finally a little twisting and pulling, but gently - remember you've just started and you want to leave yourself something to work up to, a gradual crescendo and intensifying of sensation.

 

Then, your Tongue, then, a little later your Mouth, then finally your Teeth. The tongue can do delicate swirls with a soft tongue, or it can do rapid flipping with a hard tongue. And when the tit is wet, it can really feel you, at this point, (and at the end) when you breath on it. Slow, open mouth breathing is hot, physically. Rapid, pursed lips, like your whistling breathing is a bit cooler. Always, always, the alternation of sensations, the variety. Do not let him get overly used to (bored by) anything.

 

When you suck on a nipple, do it with some force, like you are sucking on a straw, but use the tongue to milk it at the same time. And you can certainly close your lips around the base of it and then swish your saliva around in your mouth like Lysterine. These sweetlings are all for one nipple, your choice usually. The other one you'll treat a little meaner. Compare and contrast, little grasshopper. That one is the one you chew on first, with a grip like a bird dog, and vibrating the lower jaw for a constantly fluctuating intensity.

 

At this point, be sure and ask the boy if this is pleasing him. Make him answer. It's part of training him to know and ask for what he wants. And it's part of making sure you'r being effective. I have run into some men for whom one or both tits simply do not have any feeling. I have run into more men who ony think this is correct than men for whom it is actually the truth, but there are those. For myself, I pray, oh, probably at least once every two months for Archie Stone. I only met him once in a bath house in Denver in the late 1970s, but that man really took the time to teach me how much I love my own tits. Whoa!

 

Well, enough for today. I hope to add to this tomorrow. After all, Maverick is taking classes four evenings a week for a couple of months here.

[Bilbo]

So, a day later, 49 people have at least peeked in on this thread but no one has contributed to it. I might not continue it tomorrow if there aren't any contributions and definitely if there aren't at least 50 viewings.

 

So, now that we have started revving the motor in those nips, let's back off and play with something else nearby. This will give variety and slow down the process. After all, many years ago a friend of mine talked me into taking an acquaintence of his around the titty bars for him. Could have been quite boring, very nearly was, but the young man was a professional DJ and gave me some advice in building the mood that has applied to lots of things other than music mixing. First, start off at the level of the audience. Then slow it down a little. Then immediately start building the intensity. Build it for 15 minutes or so, then back it off. Then ditto. Each time you build it up higher and the backoff doesn't go quite so far back. It works. Try it.

 

The Pecs - The nips are sitting on these beautiful muscles, a shelf on each side. Whether it is developed or not, you can find the bottom edge of it. Do that. Then pry it very gently up away from his body. And squeeze it. A little is a reward. Really hard, especially right in the pit, can be a disciplinary move.

 

With a gentle fist, hit his pecs, in the fleshy area. Start out soft, build up. Those big muscles can take a lot of force, but at first, do you know how to "pull a punch"? If not, learn.

 

You've earned your first toy! They make these great floggers which are only 6 - 9 inches long. Yeah, probably about the same length as your cock. In this case, if you don't know what a flogger is, it's the same as a cat of nine tales. If you don't know either of those, look them up, with pictures. Always look at pictures of what you'd likek to do, they can teach you a lot. In fact, one thing you can do is to ask the bottom to bring pictures that turn him on and be ready to explain why they turn him on. That's one of the first big learning excercizes at Power, Surrender and Intamacy, the Body Electric school's BDSM class.

 

With any kind of a flogger or whip, only hit the fleshy areas. Do not hit the bones, only the muscles. Period. And do not let the whip, etc., wrap around the body. If the travel route of the toy is interrupted by a part of his body, or by the curve of it, the lower part of it will land at the intensity that you intend, the tips will be traveling much faster. And choose a toy with larger tails. A horse tail hair flogger will cut skin much easier than one made out of leather thongs. -- See how this is an extension of hitting those pecs with your fists?

 

Now, reward the boy. Lick all over the muscle. Taste it. Drag your top teeth over it. Go back to playing and bite it. A general note when biting is to go deep. The less flesh you get into your mouth, the easier it is to leave a mark or to cut, or just plain to hurt more. So, if you do go shallow, go weak. And if you chew, don't suck at the same time. You can leave a hickey and most people, especially client types, aren't really into having marks left on them.

 

Another toy!! And a very inexpensive one. Old fashioned wooden clothespins. You can usually even get them at the dollar store. Pull up a bit of his muscle, say the bottom edge of his pec, and put the clothespin over it, and let go and let it stay there. You can put a nice decorative line of them, like that picture you saw, eh?, along the bottom lines of both pecs, but not on the nipples just yet. Remember, this is a game, and those will feel a lot better if they are put on deeply, not shallowly. (And some guys, they just won't stay on - too much sweat or too defined or something. Ah, well ... go on to the next thing.) Be aware that one thing that happens here is that the clothespin will keep the blood from coming into the place where it is pinching. So don't leave them on too long. You don't have to take them completly off, you can take it off one place and move it to another. This is also good as many guys will have a number of those which they can handle. This number, given training, can be raised, but until then, stick with his number, just keep moving them to where you want them. Also, when you remove them, the area will be very tender. So, open them up to remove them. Don't just pull them off without opening them until the two of you have started into that training we just mentioned. Very painful.

Right after you remove the clip is a great time to gently lick, suck or nibble on that area, to take advantage of the increased sensitivity. This is a backing up maneuver, so don't go any harder than the clothespin has been holding.

You may see movies where a string of clothespins has been connected to each other with a leather thong and they are all zipped off of his body at once. This is a very advanced maneuver, not for beginners.

 

And all this talk about clothespins will lead naturally into talk about nipple clamps, which is where we will be, hopefully, tomorrow if it doesn't flood here at my house (Humberto) and I have been reassured that y'all are interested in hearing more of this.

[whipped guy]

Re:I might not continue it tomorrow if there aren't any contributions and definitely if there aren't at least 50 viewings. [/font color=blue]

 

Bilbo... you have me on the edge of my seat! You exemplify such sanity and astuteness.

 

In deference to your expertise I plan to reserve comment until after your final installment!

 

So, please contiune!

[Louis]

This is very interesting, to say the least. There appears to be much more to this than I first thought.

[Guest msclonly]

Doing what comes naturally!

 

I must have anticipated your lessons cause I did exactly as you posted, this past weekend. Though I didn't have the clothespins, I did have a 270# perfect specimen of muscle with picture perfect massive pecs, that could make any man cry! You don't find these kind very often, that enjoys the attention so much! Two sessions two hours long was like a trip to Paradise.

:+ :7 :9

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

Bilbo - I am witgh you thtu all the teasing abd warm up work

 

Suck-tickle-teeth-tingle-torment But I ge3t into the Clothespins and

 

Hotwax on the nipples/chest as the opening act for Other areas!

[Bilbo]

Good! There might not be more tonight, since I forgot that this is the night that I go to a class at church (MCC) (and, no, the class is not in this), but I do have two more installments planned out in my mind. Probably the last two, after that, it would no longer be 101. 201, maybe, but 101? Nah. So, see you here soon, but right now, I gotta go make some brownies for church.

[uwsman2]

I guess what would be really helpful to know would be suggestions about how to negotiate a bondage-S&M session with an escort. There comes that crucial moment in the phone conversation when the escort has answered, you've identified yourself as calling response to his ad, listing, or whatever, that you are interested in arranging a session, and at some point he asks, "so what are you looking for" - or if he doesn't ask, you signal the need for some discussion. I would think that for a session that would include bondage/S&M some discussion about interests and limits would be needed. And that it's not enough to say "I read the review in Daddysreviews about you and thought the session described in review #3 was incredibly hot, something I would like to experience" - or would it be enough? How specific does one have to be?

 

Thanks for any advice.

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

UWS - I believe you need to be very specific - I tend to phrase it in

 

a manner that expresses my interests.

 

For Example:

 

" I enjoy . . ."

 

" I think a really hot scene should include . . ."

 

If the escort says that sound hot or word to that effect

 

- you've got a winner - If not then

 

move on or modify

 

When the Escort and I meet - I always spend a few minutes discussing

 

the scene over a drink - establishing limits/safewords/area to

 

expand/specific types of play/certain activities to concentrate

 

on/thing that really ring my bell

 

etc

[whipped guy]

I like to do it in writing… that way I won’t forget any particulars. I usually send a very detailed and very specific email a few days prior to hooking up that lists what I would like to accomplish based on my current cravings, needs, and mind-set. Of course, that does not guarantee that it will get read, but most of the times it does get read. I always remind the guy of the fact that I have sent a "very detailed and very specific email" during the telephone confirmation just prior to getting together. I then like to have a brief discussion in person to make sure that we are on the same page... (If the guy is so lame that did not read what I wrote by the time I get there I certainly make sure he does... and in my presence.)

 

Wild... you would have hit it off with Reece as he always did the discussion thing prior to getting started... if only so he could see where your head was at and even if it were the umpteenth time you had gotten together... and sometimes the discussion would not even touch on where the session was going... but he was just so freaking perceptive he always brought the ship safely into port as he traversed that fine line between pain and pleasure.

 

Eventually we will get the great Bilbo's take on this... and we are very fortunate to be able to profit from the fact that he is willing to share his extensive expertise and knowledge... but I myself am still on the edge of my seat for the continuation of Tits 101!

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

Hey Whipped

 

I agree a detailed email is great for guys you have seen before.

 

I still always like the opening conversation when we are face to face

 

whether it is the first meet or the fifteenth.

 

 

I have had some Escorts backoff from a detailed email, if we have not

 

met before. Perhaps its the "Las Vegas Syndrome" (See other Threads

 

in the Lounge) fear of committing to committing in writing with a

 

stranger?

 

 

Regardless of the method - the important thing is that we communicate

 

communicate, communicate!

[whipped guy]

RE: I have had some Escorts back off from a detailed email, if we have not met before. [/font color=blue]

 

I had one guy back off at the point where I simply said that I intended to send him the detailed email... As far as I was concerned he did me a favor... a big favor. He wanted to do things "his way"... while I wanted to be Frank Sinatra and do things "my way"... so it would have worked "no way".

 

Now hopefully our esteemed professor Dr. Bilbo will get us back on "course" later today as we eagerly await his return to the classroom!

[Bilbo]

How amusing! The reason we started this thread was that we had inadvertently hijacked a thread which was about how to find the escort you need to do what you want. And now this one gets hijacked back to that subject. LOL. Actually outloud, though it's more like giggling, this time.

 

OK, first, my take on the phone conversation. I don't usually. Nor do I like to discuss things too much when the client arrives at my space. Remember, if you liken SMBD to a swimmingpool, I am quite content in the shallow end. I love helping beginners to have a real sniff at the stuff of their dreams - the acts, not me, though if he wants to sniff me, too, well....

Most of the men who hire me, therefore, don't know what they want. And if you start helping them to figure out what to ask you, you are likely to scare them away when they realize more of the possibilities out there than they are ready for. And it dissipates the energy. How many of you read reviews before you get onto a rollercoaster?

I do make sure that anyone I'm working with knows my Safeword, and, if he is here at his pleasure instead of mine (ie. a client rather than a trick), he can use it as often as he likes. (Tricks I tend to show the door after the third time.) And I make sure that he knows that I am allowed to use it, too. Because:

I am New Age leather not Old Guard. I want and expect my boys to feel free to ask for anything they want during the session.

Which helps since I didn't wait til a dignified age to catch CRS (Can't Remember Shit) and if you try to load me down with a script before the session, neither of us will wind up happy.

And if you try to engage me in a long detailed discussion over the phone after I have tried to make all of that clear to you - most of which I am willing to discuss over the phone - then I feel like you are one of two things - a person who is lying to me to try to get me to get him off over the phone, or a person who is lying to me to try to get me into a position where he can arrest me. One thing I assume he is not is anyone who is going to wind up paying my fee, even though, of course, my fee is for time only and he is certainly using up some of my time.

Hell, I remember one leather clad man, who even, as I understand it, had a leather title (one that came with a sash) who came over and had a good discussion with me for a half hour, then left without paying me and crowing like he was counting coup since he had gotten me to actually negotiate. Bah!

Anyway, this segment was supposed to be about ...

 

Tit Clamps!

The easiest, cheapest ones are clothes pins. See the last segment. All of that applies. And remember, you can put more than one clothes pin on each nipple. Two is fun. You can twist them in opposite directions, etc. A lot of men get off on three. I don't think that geographically you are going to run into many who can support four or more - just not enough room in them thar hills.

One particularly painful way to remove them (therefore, handy when you are working for endorphins in someone who is getting a little deeper into the Leather pool) is to whip them off with a riding crop or, well, whip. It's just like ripping them off without opening them - again, see above.

Some people use little tiny, or metal clothes pins. These bite harder.

 

To my mind, the prettiest of the tit clamps are also some of the most dangerously alluring ones to the beginner. The cloverleafs. Yes, these are fancy looking and padded, but remember - when you pull on the middle of them, they clamp down harder, though they don't look much like they have.

IMHO, the handsomest tit clamps are black, probably plastic, and have a chain hanging between them. This chain can be used to pull them both off at once, but I don't. It can also be used to pull both of them at once, but not off, or one at a time, and with variation can be like a dance. The chain can also be used to hang some small weights, like fishing weights, between them, so that your toy is again the extension of your hand without your hand having to be there. It automatically keeps pulling itself. Or, with a long enough, but just, chain, (hopefully plastic coated, or it will tasted terrible and might pinch someone's tongue) is to put the chain into the boy's mouth and let him pull on them whenever he wants. (When there is something in the boy's mouth, you need to establish that three finger snaps is a Safe Word, since he will have trouble speaking. Or three grunts, for that matter, if you have his hands in dogmits or something.) You can also pull on his hair and give him the choice of having his hair pulled or going with your hand and pulling on his tits.

At this point, just simply do not use anything with metal teeth. Unless they are inside a rubber sleeve. And, then, is there any point to them being there, other than the psychological? Remember, if you don't pierce the skin, he doesn't bleed, you're safer (Safe sex - Don't share razors) and cleaning your toy is a hell of a lot easier.

 

If you can wrap a string around his tits like you see in the pictures? Well, you probably can't fully satisfy his tits till you've graduated from TITS 201.

 

If you don't want to try them on your own tits (like you're a wuss when you're alone and/or you forgot (LOL) til the boy was there, or he brought you a toy as a present or brought his toy for the two of you to play with and you don't want to put it on your tit in front of him - though it can look hot on a Master to do that, if it doesn't blow the bottom's mind, or, if you're tricking, even if it does.) Anyway, if you clamp it onto the web between your thumb and your trigger finger, it will let you know.

 

More later, amigos!

[Bilbo]

Fire and Warmth

 

OK, I know I'm too wordy, and I did promise that this would be my last major post on this thread, so there are two subjects and then, I'm out of here except to respond to anything y'all say, if you want me to. And maybe if you don't.

 

Hot Wax: For some reason, I am not a fan of dripping hot wax directly on nipples. On pecs, yes, but nipples? Now, this is odd, since I have very happily encased dicks in hot wax before, including the head. Chacun a son gout, I suppose. One possible explanation - I notice, or seem to, bottoms flinching away from dripping on their chest more than on their cocks. 2 possible explanations - 1. If I'm aiming at their cock, I'm not seeing their head. 2. boys see the wax almost as if it is coming at their face. So, I'm not into flinching and I don't want to take the time to aim really well, and the nips are a smaller target than the cock. So I drip a bit on their pecs, perhaps, but that's it.

Meantime, 2 notes:

1. While Maverick is absolutely sure that putting salt into water makes it boil faster and at the same temperature, I am equally sure that it makes it take a little longer because the water has to reach a higher temperature than if it were pure water. The same thing happens with candles. A pure, white candle, preferably bee's wax, available inexpensively at a hardware store as a plumber's candle, burns about as cheaply and as cooly as you can get. Colored candles burn hotter, and are, therefore, more dangerous. You can also adjust the temperature of the wax when it hits the skin by using the air to cool it down. If you raise the candle higher above the boy, the wax is in midair longer and is cooler when it hits his bod. And if you lower it, that all reverses, and it is hotter. Use white and hold high!

2. I forgot what #2 was originally going to be, but I would have had to add this anyway -- Have a fine toothed comb handy for clean up. It is the easiest way I know of to remove the candle wax from the skin, whether the skin is hairy or not.

 

After Play:

It is very important, no matter what kind of Leather you are playing with to remember what your Mama might have taught you: If you play with something by taking it apart, you gotta put it back together again. And, again, if you cause something to go high, you should help it land safely again.

Cuddling your boy afterwards, and cooing soothing language into his ear is important. Very. Daddy Blade is very proud of you if you do this. You are very important to me, when you are here with me. You have come so far and so fast and you just amaze me with your abilities. (And the great thing is, that this also helps you to take the time and review in your mind what all happened and that you mean every word you say to the boy. And that you thank God(dess) for him and the time that you were able to spend together, not just his money.)

And I suggest that you also, while the two of you are coming down, use the energy that the two of you raised for some Sex Magic, as some call it. Simply and with intent dedicate the energy to something that you want or feel you need. It doesn't have to be out loud. Which is maybe good since if you are suggesting to the lad that he do the same, it's quite probable that although your intentions are not incompatible, that they are not the same either.

 

Namaste!

[whipped guy]

RE: Fire and Warmth

 

My hat is off to Master Bilbo… a most wise, astute, talented, and most importantly sensible individual…

 

Honestly, Bilbo, you are indeed a master of many things including the written word. You exhibit so many insights and much wisdom. First I must add it was great to get inside your head not only regarding how an S&M specialist plans a session, but also as regards the concerns of dealing with client for the first time… very fascinating indeed!

 

You touched briefly on the use of floggers and even discussed the physics of what happens when the tails are in motion and what happens if it curves around the body… Actually, what you described is what I was attempting to convey in my “Flogging 101” posting. However, not being a physicist I could not quite conjure up the exact wording… you described things perfectly. And regarding that posting I certainly hope you would critique that as well… as what I wrote is based mainly on my experiences as a bottom coupled with some limited experience as a S&M top.

 

The hot wax segment was also extremely informative, and especially so since I was once on the receiving end of a hot wax (or was it Sterno?) accident. Again a bit of science was involved. Plus, the comb is a nifty trick to which I never gave a thought. But as good old mom used to say sometimes the simple things make the most sense… and in that regard the clothespin segment was very informative as well!

 

Now all this tit talk reminded me of an experience I had with a top that normally used only his hands and mouth to give TT… but since I had supplied some additional toys he decided to employ those as well. Needles to say we started with gentle hand manipulation and the graduated to oral action and then further progressed to some mouth and tooth action… and manipulation of the pec area more or less as you described. To keep the narrative short, at the conclusion of the session he somehow had an electrical TENS unit, a nipple clamp, and a clothespin on each nipple. I’m not sure to this day as to how the pieces of the puzzle all fit together, but I certainly had a smile on my face as he cranked up the juice on the TENS, pulled on the chained nipple clamps and jiggled the clothespins… enough said! Now in retrospect this sounds somewhat insane… and it probably was… but it was actually “organized madness” by an individual that knew what he was doing so all the pieces of that puzzle came together perfectly. And that is the key… the person had expertise and knowledge to back up his actions.

 

So Dr. Bilbo, you are indeed a thinker, a sage, scholar, and downright erudite individual. I cannot imagine anyone (either novice or advanced) not trusting you to deliver a sane and sensible S&M experience.

 

And I almost forgot… probably the “after play” segment was the most important and best advice of all and again based on some good guidance from mom!

 

I'm sure it took some time and effort to organize your thoughts and consequently we all thank you for sharing your expertise!

[uwsman2]

RE: Fire and Warmth

 

The one time I experience hot wax, I was tied up and blindfolded. So, although from observing this top at work on others (the session was at NY Bondage Club several years ago) I knew he frequently used hot wax in his sessions, I did not specifically know he would be doing so with me, and the first splash of wax on my chest (I was tied up in standing position) was quite startling. Ultimately, I found it a very enjoyable experience, since he mixed the wax in with other things and it was unpredictable. Anyway, it had the distinct advantage, of course, that I wasn't flinching since I could see what was happening!

[Bilbo]

RE: Fire and Warmth

 

I used to have an electrical unit and it was fun. In fact, right now I have a battery powered paddle which looks like a tennis racket with metal guts, and if I have it on, and you can't tell from the look of my hand, really, if I do or not, it delivers quite a little sting.

However, I'm still listening to the advice that electricity is safest below the waist, not up by the heart. Obviously, if the top knows for sure what he's doing, it can work other places. But, in this one, I wimp out for safety and I'll just say that that, IMHO, should only be used by grads of Tits 201 - which, by the way, I do not intend to write myself.

 

Considering my views on telephone calls, something funny happened this morning. I got an email where the message didn't come through. It was blank inside except for some little ad from yahoo under a line. LOL I do need more than that!

 

I do promise to look in on your flogging thread. Or is it still in the middle of that other thread? Could we all have some advice on where to find it? CRS, as I said. I will comment, but I don't have that much experience with floggers. The one piece of info that I liked a lot when I got flogged was the top should have three different weights of floggers and.... ah hell that reminded me of something else, maybe I know more than I thought I did. But I look forward to you knowing more than me, whipped. Hugs!

[whipped guy]

RE: Fire and Warmth

 

Bilbo... Yes, my "Flogging 101" comments are in the middle of the "Clients - Who do you trust etc." thread. I would appreciate your opinions on the subject as I am sure that you are quite knowledgeable in such matters. I will say that being flogged by different weights of floggers is pleasurable… BUT it is difficult to find anyone who has such a variety of equipment! Unfortunately, that must be a 401 pre-doctoral level course that not many escorts have even considered taking!

[Louis]

RE: Fire and Warmth

 

Well there sure is a lot more to this topic that I thought. You have been very informative, and interestlingly enough have made me very curious about the things you talked about. I am starting to understand why people are into that sort of thing.

[Bilbo]

RE: Fire and Warmth

 

Thank you, Louis.

Whipped, I'll look in on it, but why don't you start a new thread for it? I'm sure that it deserves one of its own.

And yet, starting gently and going harder is a central tenet, so to speak. And, believe me, when you have started your new thread, I have a saucy story about when I was flogged that way in a Body Electric class ( bodyelectric.org ).