An Escort's "Down Time"

[Guest ChicagoCorey]

One of the assumptions from the ever-growing “Dinner with escorts -- full price for time?" thread is that unless an escort has back-to-back clients, he might as well go and have dinner “off the clock” with the client he has just finished with.

 

Though this is definitely a great offer and solution for both parties if the escort wants to do it, it reminds me of one of my biggest pet peeves.

 

Many times, when I’ve been asked that question and had to decline, the response I receive is “Oh, you’ve got to go to another john…” Sometimes it’s said matter-of-factly; sometimes a little more scathingly. I always laugh it off, and usually explain where I'm really going.

 

This also has happened when I’ve tried to firm up the time – “How long do you think you’ll want to play for?” is usually how I phrase it. I don’t ask so that I can squeeze as many guys in as possible; I just ask because I like to know how long I’m going to be out (and because I have an overprotective, yet loving, roommate.)

 

Truth is, I never schedule back-to-back appointments. I used to do it, and it was a pain in the ass.

 

I do, however, like to have a life, and knowing when I’m going to be working is part of that. I understand that working around my work is part of the "escort lifestyle", and it certainly isn’t the client’s responsibility to make sure I get to my friends on time. But don’t assume that we’re all living our work 24/7 – it’d be way too taxing. If I’m going out after my 8:00 appointment, it’s for beers with my friends, not to another hotel room.

 

Just providing another viewpoint.

 

--Corey

[Guest WetDream]

"Truth is, I never schedule back-to-back appointments. I used to do it, and it was a pain in the ass."

 

x(

 

Sorry, Corey, I just couldn't pass that comment up. Your point is well taken.

[+ deej]

Corey, I just adore you more now than ever.

[Guest Charon]

This is one of the reasons that I prefer escorts who have more "user-friendly" longer term rates. I prefer to spend a little more time getting to know someone, but I'm not going to pay the hourly rate to chat over dinner before or after play.

[SmallTownJohn]

You are so right on the money:0) Thanks so much!!

 

 

John

[Guest BenDover]

Hey Guys, this is business we're talking about. I don't take my barber out to get to know him before he cuts my hair. I don't ask my massage therapist to lunch after a massage, I go home and take a nap. Sure, if you've gotten to know a guy, and you both know you enjoy each other's company, it might happen, but it seems to me to be completely unfair to the escort to expect him to extend himself beyond what was agreed upon in the financial discussions you had PRIOR to your date.

I assume that the time I am spending with an escort is "on the clock." Even if I've gotten to know a guy well, I pay, unless he expressly says, "Hey, we're off the clock." And that has happened to me. And I think it happens because there is a clear respect that I have for the business end of this rather amorphous industry, and the escort knows it.

One more pet peeve of mine: the idea of "negotiating" a price with an escort. This is an expensive "hobby" if you will. If you do your homework and find a quality guy you want to hire, then expect to pay for it. If you can't pay for it, it isn't the escort's fault. Try to buy gasoline for a lower price than the market rate and see how far your car goes.

[Guest WetDream]

"One more pet peeve of mine: the idea of "negotiating" a price with an escort."

 

Ben, I couldn't agree with you more. I've never been much good at bargaining. The act of haggling with an escort over the use of his body and time is repellant, at least to me. The escort names a price and I decide whether or not I can afford it. What that body will do to mine -- or mine to his -- during the time is up for negotiation.

[SmallTownJohn]

Hey there,

 

Ben & Corey nailed some of the same thoughts I've had. A couple other things I'd like to mention especially for first time clients. First, put the agreed fee down on a table upfront, secure it with an ashtray or hell, tie it up with a bow<G> I won't touch it. The point being that I get so tired of it being counted as points off if the escort wants to see his money upfront. I can't go into a department store & say, "Hey, let me wear this shirt around the mall & if I like it in an hour, I'll come back & pay your for it." It really takes a burden off my mind & makes the entire appointment go much more smoothly knowing that the client is on the same page.(And yes, I have been ripped off BIG TIME lately.) Rather than have this "Big Spectacle" at the end where the client whips out payment & wants you to know he's doing you a favor...this isnt Jackie Collins.

 

Also, I always hear, "He was or wasnt a clockwatcher." If a guy constantly glares at the clock during the client's time or does obvious time killing...that would be a clockwatcher. I pretty much go by internal clock on shorter appointments & things work out fine. But, if a guy looks over at the clock once, maybe even twice, dont get all dramatic and think, "He'd much rather be somewhere with someone else...anywhere but with me!" Look, you know you've paid for your time & you should get quality time. But please dont think by getting a guy's mind off the clock, you'll get freebie time or maybe it will be the best piece of ass on Earth he's ever had and I'll get a refund & we'll get married & live happily ever after.<Sorry, but the "why won't you be my BF" angle has happened to me SEVERAL times>

 

 

I love my job and my regular clients treat me beautifully. I receive tons of emails, IMs & suffer through broken appointments & grand promises daily. I'm not the Message Board cheerleader, America's twink, bad ass or know-it-all. I'm just a guy who tries to do the best job possible, get along & make it through the day hassle free.

 

 

Thanks,

John

"Do you want the classic in/out or would you like a grind put on it?"

[Guest Charon]

Bendover,

 

First, I don't want to get to know my massage therapist either, but then I don't sleep with him. Sex means different things to different people, and I've never been particularly turned on by the sheer mechanical act. If I have no connection at all to the partner, then I might as well masturbate, and save the money.

 

Second, If as you point out this is a business, then why would negotiation bother you? Personally, I state what I'm interested in and ask for several different time intervals that I might be willing to spend. I then accept or reject them without negotiation per se, but it gives the escort an opportunity to decide how he wishes to price these activities rather than assuming that the cost of sitting across the table from me is as expensive as fucking.

[N.N.]

RE: An Escort's

 

>Ben & Corey nailed some of the same thoughts I've had. A

>couple other things I'd like to mention especially for first

>time clients. First, put the agreed fee down on a table

>upfront, secure it with an ashtray or hell, tie it up with a

>bow<G> I won't touch it. The point being that I get so tired

>of it being counted as points off if the escort wants to see

>his money upfront.

 

Over 90% of the escorts I've seen didn't ask to get or see

money up front. The few that wanted money up front were

far more likely (I'm not exaggerating) to deliver much less

than they had promised. So if I get concerned when an escort

talks about money up front, it's because of past experience.

There are also numerous reviews on this site of bad experiences

that include a comment like 'I should've trusted my instincts

when he asked for the money up front'.

 

But, putting the money out on a table is not a bad compromise

for a first time client. And if I were seeing you, John,

it wouldn't bother me to deal with the money first--because

of the reputation you have from your reviews and from the

way you conduct yourself here in the message center.

 

> I can't go into a department store & say,

>"Hey, let me wear this shirt around the mall & if I like it

>in an hour, I'll come back & pay your for it."

 

Many professionals don't get paid first. It's a warning

sign to me if a plumber or lawyer asks for money up front.

(It's becoming more common with MDs, alas.)

 

>I love my job and my regular clients treat me beautifully. I

>receive tons of emails, IMs & suffer through broken

>appointments & grand promises daily.

 

You definitely have my sympathy. It sucks that this business

has such bush-league standards of integrity. We clients also

have to endure a certain amount of nonsense: lies about age

and dick size, broken appointments, and worse.

 

>I'm not the Message

>Board cheerleader, America's twink, bad ass or know-it-all.

>I'm just a guy who tries to do the best job possible, get

>along & make it through the day hassle free.

 

I sincerely wish that more escorts were as reputable as you are!

[SmallTownJohn]

RE: An Escort's

 

Thanks N.N.,

 

I agree & understand that most of the time I dont ask for any money confirmation upfront & most professionals dont ask for cash upfront. But, at least, a dentist can bill to address should someone walk out on them when they've put an "X" by "paying in cash" LOL, I havent found an escort billing service yet<G> Anyone know one?

 

And remember the same red flags & intincts that clients may have...trust me, the escort goes through the same. I have to laugh looking back early on that no matter how clearly I stated my fee, I still had those "players" give me the "I only have a hundred on me" when the deed was done. Maybe it's just limited to the South. LOL

 

 

Keep up those interesting topics:0)

 

John

[Guest BenDover]

Charon,

This is worth discussing more.

I, too, do not find an hour with a stranger, whom I am paying, erotic at all. It would be mechanical and I would be better off just masturbating. I figure that time to get to know the escort into the expense of hiring the escort. Again, it is not the escort's responsibility to put my head in the proper space, it is my responsibility as a consumer. Certainly, escorts can do a great job in manufacturing chemistry, and there is no doubt in my mind that acting is a significant part of the job. It is my efforts, though, to suspend disbelief if it is necessary. That is why I spend time researching various guys that I am interested in hiring. I plan ahead so that I have time to get to know them through forums such as this one before I ever actually see them.

I have been virtually 100% satisfied with each escort I have engaged. I may be one of the lucky ones, but I don't think it happens by accident. In discussing everything from favorite movies to grandmother's candied yam recipe to how hard will you pound my ass when I put my legs on your shoulders, I have not only gained knowledge of the escort I want to hire, but we've established some kind of rapport we can rely upon. Flirting is powerful.

I'm not the kind of guy who checks into a hotel room on an out-of-town business trip and decides, "I'm horny, gotta' get me an escort in the next hour." I know there are many who do, and I think their expectations have to be realistic about what can happen in that hour or two they hire for.

I know me, and I'm most engaged physically with a guy when I'm engaged mentally with them. And that can cost me money. I'm either willing to pay for it or I shouldn't be hiring.

Another reason I believe I've had such a high success rate with these terrific guys is because I'm a good guy. And the guys know it by the time we've spent communicating. I'm happy, they're happy, I'm happy they're happy, and they're happy that I'm happy.

So, if some escort is delighted that he put a smile on my face and says, "You wanna' get a cup of coffee?", if I can drag my worn out ass outta' bed, then I'll go. But I certainly don't expect it.

[Guest cp8036]

The money paid is for his time only.

[Guest Zach DC]

RE: An Escort's

 

"I believe I've had such a high success rate with these terrific guys is because I'm a good guy.

And the guys know it by the time we've spent communicating. I'm happy, they're happy, I'm

happy they're happy, and they're happy that I'm happy."

 

Beautifully said, BenDover.

 

Zach DC

[Losgatan]

BenDover,

 

Beautifully said. You describe exactly what I'm looking for when I spend time with an escort. Thankfully, there are many guys out there who understand this.

[Guest 7Zach]

There were several threads on this issue in the last year. The people here seemed to fall into two camps, the ones that wanted a connection or whatever, and the ones that wanted a quick in and out. The former were pretty much denigrated because, it was assumed, that they were looking for love or an artificial sense of romance, or whatever. To me, one needs a feel for the escort for the sex to be any good. If others can do that in an hour, great, I just never could. It's more expensive for an overnight or for an extended session, but that's what it takes to be fun for me. Otherwise it's work, and I am not going to pay and have it seem like work to me.

[Guest cp8036]

RE: An Escort's

 

The idea is a pet peeve? Didn't know one can have a pet peeve about something abstract. Or, are you often a witness to men chewing down escort prices?

[Guest DevonSFescort]

RE: An Escort's

 

This is an intruiging thread for me because I have also noticed that one broad way of dividing clients is to say that some want "a connection or whatever" while others want "in and out." While I never mind being a "blank slate" for clients that want that, as an escort I enjoy letting clients get to know me, and vice versa, and I'm interested in finding ways to interact with clients that don't involve money (but that are also manageable from a time perspective).

 

To that end, I've recently (Thanksgiving Day to be precise) started an online diary about my life as an escort and it already seems to be fairly popular among my regulars. Though there are some funny stories, it's not a kiss and tell diary -- confidentiality is protected and a client with bad breath isn't going to log on to my site the next morning and read that I saw a client with bad breath. Rather, it's meant to be an expressive outlet with a fairly breezy "Sex in the City" feel. It might even make you think sometimes. It's at:

 

http://www.livejournal.com/users/slimnmuscly

 

For clients who meet me after reading my diary, I hope that will start us off a little further into the process of getting acquainted. Some potential clients may read it and realize I'm not what they're looking for, and that's cool too. Hopefully they'll still find it a good read, and keep coming back for more. And needless to say I'd love to know what my fellow escorts think.

 

Enjoy and let me know what you think. I'm having a lot of fun with it. It's a little premature to claim a cult following, but I'm hoping it'll develop one...

[Guest cp8036]

RE: An Escort's

 

<...Hey Guys, this is business we're talking about. I don't take my barber out to get to know him before he cuts my hair. I don't ask my massage therapist to lunch after a massage, I go home and take a nap ...>

 

It would be delusional to think escort relations are anything but business. But, it is a business unlike any other. To simply compare an hour of sex with an escort and a haircut as simplying being two business transactions of equal impact is foolishness. You have ruined my night with such simplistic comparisons.

 

It's ironic that an escort that does his works o well -- is personable, physically attractive, sucks cock better than your lover, and kisses better too -- runs the risk of screwing up his business by capturing the hearts of confused clients. Since the escort is providing or replacing acts that are normally done in a relationship (sex, passion, sleeping,etc), the lines between business and personal are blurred. Guys could mistake the escort's illusion for the real thing.

 

Hard to think a man would misinterpret several good haircuts as the start of a passionate love affair that leads to marriage, and not having to ever pay for the haircut again.

[Guest Charon]

Bendover,

 

Seems we have a similar approach then, since what you describe is much how I approach the interactions. I don't tend to engage with the escort a great deal before the event however (a few emails), since I view that many calls/emails is taking his time, though if he asks questions and carries on the conversation, I'll happily oblige.

 

In fact, similar to your surprise at some, I've raised my eyebrows at a couple of descriptions of the torrid phone calls and email exchanges that have occurred before the client ever met the escort.

 

Perhaps I'm a bit old-fashioned, somehow it's easier to carry the conversation face to face rather than chat ahead of time on the phone or carry on protracted email dialogues, and I always try to arrange enough time for that to happen, and so I tend to shy away from those who charge flat hourly rates with no discount for longer engagements.

[Guest OhioMuscleSeeker]

RE: An Escort's

 

Guys,

Although I've never met Devon, I have become a regular reader of his online diary. It's a great little peek into a world that many of us will never know. It's at the same time quirky, intelligent, extremely funny, and insightful. Besides being a very hot man, he's got quite a head on his shoulders, and - dare I say it? - a heart of gold. I find myself running to the computer each morning now to get my 'daily dose of Devon.' Check it out and see if you don't agree. You'll be hooked! (pun intended...)

 

KGB

[Guest DevonSFescort]

RE: An Escort's

 

Thanks KGB!! You're a sweetie!!! :-)

[Guest]

I frequently have people with whom I do business take me out to meals (and occasionally live entertainment or sporting events). Although sometimes work, family, or other obligations prevent me from accepting, I'm always glad to be invited. I always thank the offerer for the invitation, and, if I accept, thank them heartily afterwards. Even though there's a business aspect to the dinner or event, I wouldn't think of charging a fee for an enjoyable evening out. Most people in my line of work feel the same way.

I realize that, just as I have, escorts also have life outside of their work. I'm not offended if an escort doesn't accept a dinner offer (which I don't offer all escorts by any means). Nevertheless, I hardly think that anyone would consider dinner at a nice restaurant a compensable burden.