custody issue

[Guest allansmith63]

Hey guys

 

This has nothing to do with escorts or sex, but the intro to the "lounge" does say "any topic..."

 

I am going to possibly be facing a custody or legal issue regarding my children. I need help from anyone who can direct me to information regarding research and studies of children of gay parents. I've looked all over the net, but seem to be only able to find extremes - everything's perfect and rosy and everyone's well adjusted, or else everyone's destroyed by the experience. Where's some recognized studies that are neutral and impartial, that actually just cite facts?

 

I have joint custody of my children, with their mother being the "residential" parent - but she is being incredibly difficult about my son (11) even meeting my partner. (My girls aren't interested at this point - they're also old enough that she can't stop them (regardless of her thinking she can) if they want to meet him.)

 

She spouts her religious studies about how destructive it is to a child to be exposed to the gay world in any way, shape or form. As I'm suggesting my son will meet my partner sooner rather than later, she's working on legal means to attempt to ever prevent that happening. I've no intention of exposing him to the "gay" world - I simply want him to continue to spend time with me when my partner and I are living together. She is also simply not willing to understand that a prolonged battle in court will destroy my son far more effectively than him spending four or six hours a week with my partner and I.

 

Help!!

 

Allan

[trilingual]

I suggest trying groups like Lambda Legal Defense Fund, National Center for Lesbian Rights, Human Rights Campaigh, etc. They're up on all the latest stuff, and can probably steer you towards a good local attorney with experience with these issues. You really don't have to reinvent the wheel! Best of luck!

[Guest Gentle Dude]

If you unable to talk to your wife anymore regarding this matter and you do not want to drag this through our court system, then I strongly suggest that you try to convince her to go through divorce mediation or arbitration. Try to contact your local Bar Association for a list of mediators/arbitrators that specializes in divorce custody cases. It's cheaper, faster and here in California, they have a high resolution rate. What is paramount here in the best interest of the child. The burden is not on you but on your wife to prove that visitation rights with you and your BF would be harmful to your child. Direct contact should only be refused when a child would be put at serious risk of physical, mental or emotional harm.

 

Good-luck Allan

 

GD

[Guest XTCHeights]

This is a sad situation that you are being subjected to. The outcome, in part, will depend on the State that you live in. Some have more accepting views than others. I would recommend that you use the resources of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center in your area. XH

[Guest pickwick]

The best source for the type of information you are seeking is an attorney in your area who has experience with cases of this type, since he or she will already have researched the issue. Most would probably be willing to direct you to information or organizations that will be helpful even if you decide not to hire them. Lambda Legal Defense may be able to refer you to such an attorney in your area. If not, contact your nearest GLB community center for a referral.

[Justice]

Alan,

 

My heart goes out to you and your kids. If memory serves correctly, you live in Canada. I'm sure that there are gay rights organizations -- similar to the Lamda Defense Fund in the US -- that will a)can advise you of your rights and b)point you in the right direction. Good luck to you.

 

Justice