Manners in Replying to E-Mail

[Guest mellowdad]

FOR ESCORTS: Do professional escorts feel reply responsibility when they get e-mail from a client they've never met and can't or don't want to see? I'm very open about myself in my initial e-mail contacts, I realize that's not in everyone's comfort zone. I'm also certain that sometimes I'm not the right combo for an escort, or he simply doesn't want to read about me. But I'm surprised at the rudeness of total non-response: it would take only a moment to say "I have a full client load right now" or "Thanks for your inquiry, but I'm booked." FOR ESCORTS OR CLIENTS: Would it be helpful to identify non-responders? I have no reason to harm anyone, only interest in improving the overall climate and nudging those without manners. :-)

[Scorpio]

As a client, I am also disappointed by the rudeness of a non-response. I realize that escorts receive a high volume of email or there may be technical reasons for not responding. But the three times that this has happended to me, I know that the email was received and when it was read (courtesy of the AOL return-receipt function). I took the non-response as an indication that the escort and I would not have been compatible and found a more suitable companion. But a simple reply with "thanks but no thanks" would still have been very much appreciated.

 

However, that being said, I don't know if it would do much good to identify the non-responders here. It might look like a case sour-grapes. However, if someone was seeking information about a particular escort, then disclosing that escort's nonresponsiveness to emails might be useful information.

[jacobno]

I'm guilty of doing this. I've gotten much better thanks to the handy daily planner. I check my email fairly often, but I find my thought patterns when I'm online become pretty erratic. I am a fairly good writer when it comes to pen and paper, but somehtign about being online sends everyhting into spaz mode. Usually I prefer phone contact, I feel my personality comes across a bit better then.

 

When I check my email more often than not it is when I get home at night or as I am goign out the door. Guys that plan far ahead I usually keep as new in my inbox and answer them in detail when I get home. However, I am guilty of letting a few of those go unaswered until the date has passed. Usually if I realize this I'll email them and say I'm sorry. *shrug* Then there are a few people that request some errm strange fetishes, I'm very open minded and have gotten into more than my fair share of hot and dirty deviant actions, but some things can't possibly warrant a response.

 

 

I've been gettign much better at oraganizing emails, planning my weeks/months, and getting my act together. And, now that I've been planning ahead a bit better my client load has increased and I dont feel like such a mess. Thanks time management.

 

Later kids,

Jake

[Guest Charon]

I had an escort I'd seen before and enjoyed. I was headed back his way and sent him a couple of emails. No response. Figured he'd left the business or something.

 

When I got to town after chasing a couple of other dead ends, I figured what the heck, and gave him a call.

 

Turns out his email was cut off, so my mail arrived, but he never got to read it. No response _may_ mean you're being shunned, but it also may mean that email address is defunct.

[SmallTownJohn]

I love to answer email. I try to give out as much info as possible as quickly as possible & hopefully potential new clients will provide me with the same--other than "rates? pics?" But, being on AOL, bad attitude seems to run rampant in profiles, IMs or chat...says a lot about communication.

 

 

John

[BuckyXTC]

SmallTownJohn raises the issue of AOL and its culture or the lack thereof. I "divorced" AOL about four years ago so I'm not up to date as to what goes on there, but I suspect not much has changed. I remember well the instant messages like "wanna do phone sex?" or "how big is your cock?" and other inane drivel of that sort. And while I acquired a few "online friends" during my time there, for the most part, I just wasted a lot of time.

 

As for the topic of manners and email, as a client I appreciate a reasonably prompt response, but recognize that it's not realistic to always expect that. If I go away on vacation or business for a week or two, I will typically have about 200 emails to wade through, most of which will be spam, but always a few of significance that need to be answered. And these days, because of the prevalence of spamming, some Internet Service Providers actually block all email from certain other ISP's because of the spam generated from those sites. A case in point:

Frequently I buy and sell items on Ebay. I auctioned a rather expensive art book, signed by the now deceased artist, and a bidder met the reserve and won the auction. He emailed me telling me he was the auction winner, but provided no address or way to contact him. Each and every time I attempted to respond to his email and get his address, my email would be returned. When I contacted his ISP, they told me they were blocking all email from my ISP because of spamming. So I had to open another email account through a different ISP to complete that transaction. So the reality is that your email might get through to an escort, but they might not be able to send a reply because of this anti-spamming policy I just described. So don't automatically assume you're being ignored or treated rudely, it might just be some technical issue like the one I described creating the problem.

[Guest ItalianLover]

This is an interesting post. I just would like to say , that if an email account has been cancelled/suspended , you will receive a reply that says so.

So , i assume that the few responses that i did not get , were a sing of no interest . I agree the volume of mails might be high , but that's business , right ?

 

God bless , ItalianLover

[Guest ChicagoCorey]

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. I get tons of email every day to my "escort account" -- I have pretty great Internet access and check it regularly for my other job -- so responding quickly isn't a problem when I'm working. But I get tons of responses and have relatively few ads out there promoting myself. If I got many more, I don't know what kind of responding I could do. And others, who don't have the Internet luxury that I have, really might have trouble getting back to people on a timely basis and may only have time to respond to those appointments for which they have time.

 

That said, I still don't think it's very professional to handle stuff that way. Part of the profession isn't just the time spent, but the effort put in. But being "ignored" it isn't something people should take personally. In other words, I doubt that it's your detailed descriptions in your initial communication that scares people off. I think most guys worth their salt really appreciate all the information about a client they can get beforehand.

[Bilbo]

Another question about manners, one that probably wouldn't merit it's own thread, but since we're basically on the subject:

 

Do both the client and the escort avoid talking about both the actions which may be involved and the fee in the same email? Or am I just being too careful when I think that is the way it should be done?

[phage]

I don’t think you’re being too careful at all and it is something I am always very conscious of during “first contact.” I generally give a guy my basic stats. This is only fair because I tend to know a great deal about him (thanks to this site) before ever contacting him. I also wait until I have a specific date in mind with reasonable notice – a week or two if it’s an out of town thing and a few days for a local. More than that seems to be too hard for the guys to schedule.

 

I don’t take it personally if there is no response – life is too short! However, I definitely remember the guys that take the time to respond even if it isn’t going to work out for them. I have been trying to hook up with Mike Stefano for months. We can’t ever seem to be in the same city at the same time, but his pleasant responses just keep me coming back for more.

[Guest PhxMasseur]

I've been guilty of more than once accidentally deleting valid emails while deleting spam. I get huge amounts of spam email because of the time I spend in chat rooms, because that is how I get a large percentage of my business. Theres no way I'd ever find enough time to actually read each and every one. If an email is not clearly marked in the subject, it's possible it will get the delete click.

 

Also as Bilbo says, I am very careful about what I will say or promise as part of a massage. If a client can't read between the lines and insists on details, my cop alert go's off and I will turn them away. I'd rather lose the business than be arrested. If a clients initial email is very graphic I won't respond to it at all.

 

Another hard thing to know what to do is whether to return phone calls. Unless a client specifically says in his message please call me back whenever, I am usually reluctant to callback if I can't do it the same day. I've had a couple of experiences where I get late night calls, and tried to return the call a day or two later, only to get the wife or a kid on the phone...

[Guest Kenny]

"Do both the client and the escort avoid talking about both the actions which may be involved and the fee in the same email? Or am I just being too careful when I think that is the way it should be done?"

 

EXCELLENT QUESTION.

 

What should be asked by the client when making a first contact via e-mail?

I usually state that I will be in (city) on such and such a day and ask about the escort's availability and charges.

If he responds, then on the second e-mail, I will be specific as to my expectations from an escort, describe myself to him and request a reply as to whether my "requests" are ok with him.

I often wonder if I may be so specific as to turn them off by asking "very specific questions"but I rationalize my behavior by stating that we should be upfront before the meeting to avoid disappoints later.

What is the proper procedure and is there anything which shouldn't be talked about?

[Guest LG320126]

>I have been trying to hook up with Mike Stefano

>for months. We can’t ever seem to be in the same city at

>the same time, but his pleasant responses just keep me

>coming back for more.

 

Keep trying! You won't regret it.

:9

[Guest need2Btopped]

I have seen two VERY busy escorts, and both of them were prompt in responding to emails. Aside from technical difficulties, there's no excuse nowadays (with remote email access capability) why an email cannot be responded to in 24 hours, at most. My attitude is: I only want to see total professionals, and the time in which an escort responds is one factor in determining whether he is, in fact, a responsible adult.

[Guest jordan steele]

I receive a greater volume of mail now than I have ever received and have things well organized (now)and I am able to respond to most mail in 12 or sometimes 24 hrs....I think it is fair to give everyone a second opportunity to respond to you in a timely manner...we all know that people have issues (technical or otherwise) at times that cloud there ability to conduct themselves acceptably...so I say lets give him a break and three strikes might be just be the answer to your inquiry and his loss all the way around in my view...

 

 

Sorry if that was a ramble

 

Jordan

[Guest Esc_Tracker]

I would like to second Jordan's suggestion that you try a third (and final) time. Here is what may have happened. Your escort could be embarrassed at not having been able to respond to your earlier messages for technical reasons, and chosen to deal with this embarrassment by avoiding you. This sort of behaviour does not make a whole lot of sense from the point of view of an extrovert (which most escorts are), but is not untypical of introverts.

 

Give your next (and possibly final) e-mail a catchy "must read" subject line. Let him know how interested you are in maintaining your ongoing relationship, and that you understand that he may have had personal reasons for not answering your earlier mail. Finally, indicate that if he does not answer, you will be forced to conclude that he no longer wants to see you. This would sadden you, of course, but you would accept it as his choice.

 

Alternatively, if you have his phone number, you could just call him and ask him "wassup". But I suspect that if you could, you would have done this already.

[CT Dick]

>This is an interesting post. I just would like to say , that

>if an email account has been cancelled/suspended , you will

>receive a reply that says so.

 

IL, I wish that were true. I once was shifted from @Home to @Optonline because I bought a cable modem. They didn't warn me and all the email that went to my @Home account disappeared into a cyberdump, never to be seen.

 

You must have experience dealing with more reputable companies.

 

Dick

[+ deej]

<<Aside from technical difficulties, there's no excuse nowadays (with remote email access capability) why an email cannot be responded to in 24 hours>>

 

What if they're with a client for a "get away from it all" weekend? (Or longer?)

 

I don't think you can arbitrarily apply a rule here.

[Guest IM_Moore]

>

However, I am guilty of letting

>a few of those go unaswered until the date has passed.

>Usually if I realize this I'll email them and say I'm sorry.

 

I think mine was one that Jake might have lost ... maybe my posts here scared him off :-(

[Guest]

><<Aside from technical difficulties, there's no excuse

>nowadays (with remote email access capability) why an email

>cannot be responded to in 24 hours>>

>

>What if they're with a client for a "get away from it all"

>weekend? (Or longer?)

>

>I don't think you can arbitrarily apply a rule here.

 

I personally think it's rude not to answer and e-mail unless the e-mail is (1) spam, or (2) an insult. It's hard for me to believe that a client wouldn't let an escort answer his e-mail unless they were out camping or in the middle of the sea. Clients realize that escorts have a business to run. So being out in the wilderness or out at sea are the only good excuses I can think of.

[Guest Charon]

That is not always true. Email is NOT as dependable as many people think (having worked with a number of people who support ISP level email).

 

And you don't always get bounces when the mail isn't delivered.

[EXPAT]

I would be careful about jumping to conclusions about "non-responders". I myself have accidentally deleted EMails from people I don't know thinking it was spam. And unfortunately most of my email is junk email.

[Guest mellowdad]

THANK YOU ALL

 

Many, many thanks for the volume of thoughtful responses to my question! Best wishes to all.

[+ deej]

>I personally think it's rude not to answer and e-mail

 

I agree. I'm just saying that an arbitrary 24-hour rule is exactly that -- arbitrary.

 

>It's hard for me

>to believe that a client wouldn't let an escort answer his

>e-mail unless they were out camping or in the middle of the

>sea. Clients realize that escorts have a business to run.

>So being out in the wilderness or out at sea are the only

>good excuses I can think of.

 

SOME clients will "let" an escort check e-mail. Some escorts won't *want* to do it, preferring instead to focus on the client they're with. It's highly situational.

 

I, personally, see nothing wrong with responding after their return saying "sorry, I was out of town".

[Guest JT]

I think whether we're clients or escorts, we all PREFER to receive prmopt responses to our emails. Howevere, some times the circumstances just don't permit a client or escort to reply in a timely fashion, e.g. an acute illness, accidents, family emergency, etc. As all of us know, we have very little control over these unexpected events. So I guess we can be more understanding toward each other.

 

If an escort is out of town (whether or not with clients) and that he knows about the trip ahead of time, it is possible for him to set up an "automatic response" to incoming emails to inform potential clients that he is away and won't be able to respond to their emails until he returns. Of course, that would depend on whether the email system the escort uses has such "option", whether the escort is aware of such function and if he does, whether he chooses to use it, as well as whether the "automatic response" function actually works (Personally I know that there are times Yahoo screws up its automatic response)!

 

IMHO

JT