Rent Ethan

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

Hi Ethan - Unfortunately sex is no longer just about pleasure.

 

I came out in 1980 and in those days everyone was

 

worried about Herpes.

 

I was running a large nightclub/hotel in Miami

 

around 1984 and we did the first all star benefit

 

for Gay Cancer/GRID/AIDS and really not many came. Because no one

 

really new what AIDS was - guys were worried about herpes then.

 

And people were terrified about what was killing thier friends.

 

 

 

February is always hard for me and the pain lasts into March and

 

April because I lost my 2 best friends in those months. Vinny (Not

 

his real name) was the big brother I never had and the gay sister I

 

desperately needed when I was coming out. Joey (not his real name)

 

was the little sister/brother I always wanted. Vinny died very

 

suddenly (perhaps mercifully) at age 34 from a sudden onset of

 

pnuemonia - we didnt know till he was gone that he was poz.

 

 

I still have nightmares about his funeral! When he died in 89 I had

 

already buried both of my parents, but even that did not prepare me

 

for the pain of Vinny's death. It was like the Godfather's Funeral -

 

Huge floral arrangements, the chapel overflowing, relatives throwing

 

themselves on the body, people chain-smoking and swigging from

 

hipflasks.

 

 

Joey was like Lazarus - he came back from the dead so many times

 

that I now (a confirmed cynic) believe in miracles. After surgeries

 

for infections, the threat of paralysis mixed with good periods

 

of personal and bizness triumphs and several lovers, he finally

 

could no longer arise from the dead and fizzled painfully losing

 

the ability to talk, see and hear before mercifully passing into

 

hopefully the next world.

 

 

They never had the chance to protect themselves from infection.

 

 

Joey was on the cocktail for years - even so he suffered thru

 

debilitating infections, thrush, memory loss, uncontrollable fevers,

 

impotence, incontenence, naseau, horrible pain, periods of

 

uncntrolled priapisum, neuropothay, tooth loss and more.

 

 

He would always say to me -- If I only knew - I could have been just

 

as big a (HO) and stayed healthy.

 

 

Ethan - I don't know you and probably will never meet you - BUT I am

 

sure from reading your posts that you have an intellect that

 

contributes to society and a heart that cares for people. Those

 

are characteristic that NEED to be Preserved and to Survive. There is

 

JOY and SEXUAL PLEASURE to be Had in Ways that will protect your

 

health and those of your clients.

 

 

Please know that you are a valued member of our community and as such

 

your long term continued healthy existence is desperately needed.

 

Please be well and consider Playing Safe so that you can still

 

get your pleasure and STAY HEALTHY with us for as long as is possible.

 

Peace - Love - and Happiness

 

WILD

[Ethan]

That is so very kind of you to say such nice things about me. I feel very honored and I really appreciate it a great deal. I hope that you know that I am extremely sorry for your loses. I too, have lost many people to the virus. I AM taking all of your words to heart and do appreciate the time it took for you to put your feelings into this posting. Many thanks for your wisdom.

 

Ethan

 

:-)

[SexualAlchemist]

You're welcome.

 

It only stands to reason that people will do what they want to do, oh, unless we chain them up or cut off their cocks and balls or feed them chemicals that eliminate their libido and make it impossible for them to cum or whatever.

 

It was 1983, summer-ish I recall, when mainstream news articles started appearing about something called "GRID", soon renamed "AIDS", soon finessed with addition of "HIV". The education campaigns started very soon after. Twenty-five years and lots of research later, the campaigns still continue, so there's little excuse for ignorance (unless you happen to live in one of those backward places that doesn't teach anything except abstinence). People know what they're getting into. They know the risks. They know the consequences. Information on which to base a fully formed decision is theirs. And, so, they decide. Their freedom, their secret motivations, their lives, their joys and sorrows, all theirs ... even when it impacts on me.

 

A dear friend a few years ago came to me saying, "I'm fucking this hot bottom boy. Bareback." "Oh?" said I, "and you're familiar with the risks and his serostatus?" "Yeah." "Bareback is fucking great, isn't it?" "Shit yes." "Enjoy. Take care, please, with your pussyboys and promise me you'll ask the right questions, okay?" "Okay." "I really wish you'd use a condom," I said. "I know," he replied, "but I don't want to." Time passed, he seroconverted, and died. What, really and truly, could I have done? Nada. Moral outrage wouldn't have stopped it. Too much moral outrage and I would have lost a friend. Lock him up? Chastity belts? More and more AIDS prevention pamphlets thrown at him? Public shaming and humiliation? Perhaps a big scarlet "A" hung around his neck? I could have told his mommy, but she was suffering from moderate dementia and would have been baffled. Maybe I could have gotten a street gang to beat the shit out of him?

 

In the end, the decision rests with the person. It's sometimes a complex decision, sometimes the stupid result of being so high one can't remember one's own name. Maybe it's a decision of despair. Maybe it's a decision to deliberately try to get infected. Maybe it's a decision because one already is infected. It's still a personal decision, and if we value the essential autonomy of the person, it's sacred and inviolable.

 

Personal choices freely entered into, with full and complete knowledge, with clarity of thought and consideration -- these are sacred. (Even if I think they're the wrong decision.)

 

On the other tentacle, those who know their own positive status and still seek bareback sex with others while keeping them deliberately unaware of it -- they have sunk to the depths of moral depravity associated with attempted murder. Bad, bad karma and a very bad rebirth.

[SexualAlchemist]

Ah, faggy virgin jock boys! O, the memories. }(

 

Interestingly enough, my husband (of 20 years) and I still use condoms even though we're both negative. <shrug>

 

We have recently discovered the amusements of the "Fleshlight". A remarkable simulacrum for the "real thing".

[Ethan]

Again I totally agree with everything you said. I find you very inspiring.

 

Ethan