Life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone...

[Guest JT]

You can make life beautiful

 

>And your

>comment "Open your world to

>others" I find very hard

>to do yet I think

>with this post I'm taking

>a very very tiny step.

 

Thank you for opening up yourself to us, Moore. Yes I think you have taken a "significant" first step indeed. :-)

 

 

>I have no idea anymore who

>I am. Who or what

>is the real me. I

>have been living so many

>lies and hiding from so

>much of "myself."

 

It's going to take time for you to find your real self and freedom. That part of the journey could be tough, painful and at times outright scary. But don't lose faith in yourself and others who love and care about you.

 

Who are you? According to your screen-name, "I'm Moore"! How about "I'm More"? Yes, there is "more" inside you and "more" to your life than the current state (of mind and existence) you find yourself in. Be positive. Be kind. Be strong.

 

Don't ever forget: You can make life beautiful. :-)

 

JT

[Guest jeffOH]

>The most frightening - and most

>destructive - threat to this

>country is not terrorism (although

>it's a close second).

>It's the increasingly popular belief

>that salvation, happiness, contentment, and

>fulfillment lies not in ourselves,

>but in the bottom of

>a pill dispenser. Feel

>bad? Unhappy? Discontent?

> Don't change yourself or

>your life - just pop

>pills and let them eliminate

>those feelings from your brain.

>

>

>It's so nice and soothing and

>easy that way - instead

>of living and struggling and

>overcoming, you just inject neurochemicals

>into your brain that make

>you feel so, so nice.

> No more anxiety.

>No more discomfort. No

>more pain. All

>the bad things erased.

>

>If you see something disconcerting, just

>put blinders on and you

>won't see it anymore.

>If you feel something disconcerting,

>just take pills that make

>it so you won't feel

>it anymore.

>

>You're a walking zombie, controlled by

>external chemicals swirling around in,

>and controlling, your BRAIN and

>MIND, but at least you

>feel better.

>

>>What you describe in your initial

>>post is a sound-off for

>>many, though not all, of

>>the symptoms of clinical depression.

>

>Actually, what he described is NOT

>the "sound-off for the symptoms

>of clinical depsression"; they're the

>sound-off for the symptoms of

>LIFE - searching for its

>meaning, looking for fulfillment, being

>dissatisfied: the age-old human feelings

>which spawn creativity and change.

>

>

>But they're unpleasant, so instead of

>struggling with them and changing

>yourself - just take pills

>and get rid of them

>- it's so much easier

>- it feels so nice

>- such a pleasant, unthreatening

>buzz.

>

>> The others are right:

>>it is highly treatable.

>

>Virtually every human emotion and feeling

>is now "highly treatable" --

>pills exist to alter or

>destroy them. The eagerness

>of people to have their

>emotions and feelings and desires

>and thoughts "treated" -- i.e.,

>altered and destroyed -- by

>pills, is just fucking unbelievable.

>

>

>>I have what's called chronic cyclical

>>major depression.

>

>I bet you felt so much

>better when someone - and

>not just someone, but a

>DOCTOR! - told you that

>your dissatisfaction and unhappiness in

>life wasn't your fault, and

>that there was NOTHING you

>could do about it, because

>it's an Illness - like

>cancer - and you can't

>do anything about it; you

>have to let the nice

>doctors and the nice pills

>fix it. That must

>have been such a relief

>to have that burden for

>your own life lifted from

>your sagging shoulders.

>

>> It got increasingly bad;

>>fortunately I have been under

>>extremely good medical care for

>>a decade, and I do

>>everything the doctor tells me

>>to do.

>

>Your "life" means that you obey

>your doctor ("I do everything

>the doctor tells me to

>do"); take the pills he

>tells you to take so

>that you feel what you

>want to feel; experience what

>is pleasant without having to

>change your life; and relinquish

>your brain to pills -

>don't you see how fucking

>sick that is?????

>

>>That means

>>that I have fewer noticeable

>>episodes; and when I do

>>have them, they're lighter and

>>shorter-lived than they used to

>>be.

>

>That means that you're dead.

>The pills live; you don't.

>

>

>>Major depression is a complex neurological

>>disorder. It is not

>>an "emotional" problem; it is

>>not a moral problem; it

>>is not the blues; it

>>is not your fault; there

>>is nothing you can do

>>to think, feel, or act

>>it away.

>

>READ THIS OVER AND OVER -

>look at how you have

>been convinced that you have

>no control over your life.

> Look at how you

>ate all this crap up

>because, at bottom, the message

>is YOU HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY

>AND NO ABILITY TO CHANGE

>YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER.

> YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY

>WITHOUT PUTTING CHEMICALS IN YOUR

>BRAIN.

>

>It's all because you're weak and

>needy and want to be

>relieved of responsibilty for yourself,

>so you eagerly accept someone

>telling you that you can't

>change your life, and it's

>not your fault.

>

>>All the

>>community outreach, clean-up/fix-up projects, and

>>visiting with friends in the

>>world will not break the

>>back of a depression.

>

>Stop trying to convince him that

>there's nothing he can do

>to make his life better,

>and that nothing will work

>unless he becomes a fucking

>zombie!!!!

>

>Throughout history, the feeling of "depression"

>has spawned major achievements and

>profound creativity as human beings

>struggled to find satisfaction in

>THEMSLEVES. Your sick, sick

>vision means that everyone walks

>around as zombies, swallowing Happy

>Pills everytime they feel "depressed,"

>instead of working and struggling

>to CHANGE things and change

>themselves.

>

>It's bad enough that you subject

>yourself to this mental suicide,

>but the fact that you

>try to convince everyone else

>who expresses feelings of sadness

>or lethargy that they are

>helpless and MUST swallow pills

>into their brains in order

>to make any progress, is

>outright fucking evil.

>

>>The only thing that will

>>crack open a genuine clinical

>>depression is medicine, and I

>>very much hope that you

>>will see your doctor right

>>away.

>

>You're a completely selfish, manipulative pig,

>and this whole post is

>about yourself -- not him.

> You want him to

>be with you, drowning in

>your helpless sorrow and misery,

>and swallowing the pills that

>you swallow, so that you

>don't feel so alone.

>So you tell him --

>over and fucking over:

>"there's nothing you can do.

> Medicate yourself or perish.

> Accept your helplessness.

>You are unable. You

>are weak. You are

>nothing. Salvation lies in

>chemicals. You have no

>control over your life.

>You are sick. You

>are weak. Don't fight

>it; accept it, swallow pills,

>and feel so so nice."

>

>

>>And keep checking

>>in with us!

>

>Yes, of course - what good

>would it be if you

>didn't get to voyeristically watch

>his transformation from a human

>being, living life, with all

>its struggles and conflicts --

>into a medicated blinded zombie,

>feeling so so nice, floating

>effortlessly and pointlessly next to

>you in your medicated zone

>of non-existence and death.

>

>If you feel upset after reading

>this - don't do anything

>about it. Don't think

>about it. Don't engage

>in introspection. That's all

>painful. Just swallow some

>nice pills, lay back, and

>it will all drift slowly

>and peacefully away.

 

Here we go again, yet another example of TRUTHTELLER'S ability

to empathize and show how compassionate he is. According to

Mr. Know-it-All, depression is NOT a chemical imbalance in the

brain, but merely dissatisfaction with one's life. Your credentials TruthTeller or how about your actual life experience

with this issue? What do you really have to offer on this other

than your insensitive remarks based solely on your woefully un-

informed opinions?

 

Please TruthTeller, lead us all to a better life through your

enlightening statements. Apparently, you have already reached

perfection. You seem to have all the answers. I'm sure there is

no end to your knowledge, which I'm sure you'll continue to share

with those of us who are living our zombie-like existences.

 

[email protected]

[Guest IM_Moore]

Just a quick note to thank those who have added their thoughts and suggestions since my previous post. Also, I want to thank the guys who have added to their original remarks as well.

 

As I mentioned previously I am amazed at the response and very appreciative to all of you. It's hard to find the words to express how much each poster's comments have affected me.

 

While I'm sure this thread will soon fade away I will continue to check in for additional feedback. I have also printed parts of the thread to refer to as I try to make my way back to life.

 

And while some have asked for updates on my progress I don't know if most really want or care to know. After all this is an escort forum. So, I invite anybody who cares to stay in touch to email me at [email protected] I will respond to all legit emails.

[Bilbo]

;-)

[+ bigjoey]

for a good survey of depression, i recommend "noonday demons"; it was published this summer. the author is gay and one chapter is devoted to special problems of gays (another is devoted to elderly people). it talks about medical and chemical help as well as lifestyles. it is the best book that i have read for general coverage of the issues involved.