Are some limits acceptable for escorts?

[Guest]

I felt bad for Bobby in Phoenix. He seemed to have done his best with a 400# client. I can recall the best escort I've ever had tell me that it's his job to see something attractive in everyone, but aren't there limits? I don't know if any of you have ever actually met someone who's 400#, but it really isn't possible for someone that size to keep himself clean. I don't mean that in a judgmental way--it's just not physically possible (it actually usually takes two separate people, one to hold the fat rolls back, and the other to hold the moveable shower head).

Also, I wouldn't describe a 400# man as a bear. A walrus or elephant seal, maybe. I frankly admire Bobby for being able to hold his composure at all. I can just imagine his shock when he first met the client. So is it OK for escorts to have some limits? I mean, escorts have some feelings, too.

[Guest Merlin]

Of course, an escort is entitled to set limits. He should try to avoid hurting the feelings of the client in doing so. If he has general limits, he should specify them in his advertising: no anal, none over 50, etc. That will avoid having to reject such potential clients in person. If he has not specified any limits he should avoid being judgmental and "picky". But if someone really gross meets him at the door he is entitled to say he is sorry but he doesn't think it would work. A 400lb guy or one with a gross deformity is expecting rejection, so just do it as gently as possible. If the guy is personally dirty, he deserves to be told.

[BgMstr4u]

Of course it's all right to have limits. Everyone has limits. If an escort is to be good at what he does, he has to enjoy his work, as anyone else does. But the escort should make his limits clear up front in an objective way, before the discussion of whether and how and how much begins. That is what profiles and web pages are for, and if you don't have one on the internet, well child, what can I say? Get one.

 

Two further points: 1) Marketing: The more limits you have, the less business you will generate as your client pool narrows. This is usually compensated by higher fees from the more select clientele, or by access to a level of society which is personally gratifying. But pay attention to whether it is really beneficial to you in the long run. A really selective escort will develop both a clientele and a reputation, and if you need to increase your range, the reputation may need to be changed.

 

This post began with the situation of a 400 pound client who did not seem clean. People have different reactions to people who are out of the ordinary. An escort should honestly evaluate what he can and can't do and be up front. On the positive side: if he finds he can accomodate the unusual, that becomes a selling point. Put it in your profile: "Larger guys are welcome!" or something of the sort. It is a selling point.

 

2) Honesty: Escorts who shift their ground after the discussion begins, or even after an arrangement is made, give themselves and the profession a bad name. I had an escort agree to visit me in upper Manhattan recently. I had made space in my calendar, prepared the apartment and myself, and was getting into the mood when he called to say that "something" had happened and he couldn't come. I logged back onto AOL under another screen name, found him, and chatted briefly to find that he indeed was available. Why the change? I don't know, but some limit of his must have been triggered, probably location. Whatever it was should have been dealt with up front.

[SmallTownJohn]

You have to set limits. In Cincinnati, when the guy open the door, he had to be right around 375-400 lbs & a urine/ sweat smell rolled out onto the porch. He'd taken it upon himself to send me a fake pic to boot. If you don't think you can do the job, you just have to excuse yourself & walk away as I did.

[BuckyXTC]

>You have to set limits. In

>Cincinnati, when the guy open

>the door, he had to

>be right around 375-400 lbs

>& a urine/ sweat smell

>rolled out onto the porch.

>He'd taken it upon himself

>to send me a fake

>pic to boot. If you

>don't think you can do

>the job, you just have

>to excuse yourself & walk

>away as I did.

 

Hey Smalltown John! Welcome to the Message Center! I agree with you, particularly in the situation you describe. I'm not an escort....but as one who has friends who are....I am very sympathetic to the, shall we say, "unpleasant surprises" that escorts are bound to encounter from time to tiem? If the client had been untruthful by sending a fake photo, and had serious hygiene issues that became apparent as soon as you opened the door, seems to me your strategy of excusing yourself and leaving is both reasonable and wise. When an escort misrepresents himself, clients generally don't hesitate to show the escort the door. In a situation like this, in my opinion, you're certainly entitled to adopt the same approach.

 

The notion of excusing oneself and departing is gentlemanly. It avoids being confrontational. Yes, you the escort have lost some time and prospective income by not going through with the session, but you've also spared yourself an unpleasant ordeal, and ultimately, you've been kinder to that client than if you had gone ahead and possibly lost control in the midst of your disgust at the "cleanliness issues". And others here have added very legitimate points as well.

 

Glad you're joining us with your posts here. I've read your reviews and hope I'll be able to see you professionally some day when I'm in the Nashville area. Take care and all the best.

BuckyXTC

[Scorpio]

>I felt bad for Bobby in

>Phoenix. He seemed to

>have done his best with

>a 400# client. I

>can recall the best escort

>I've ever had tell me

>that it's his job to

>see something attractive in everyone,

>but aren't there limits?

>I don't know if any

>of you have ever actually

>met someone who's 400#, but

>it really isn't possible for

>someone that size to keep

>himself clean. I don't

>mean that in a judgmental

>way--it's just not physically possible

>(it actually usually takes two

>separate people, one to hold

>the fat rolls back, and

>the other to hold the

>moveable shower head).

>Also, I wouldn't describe a 400#

>man as a bear.

>A walrus or elephant seal,

>maybe. I frankly admire

>Bobby for being able to

>hold his composure at all.

> I can just imagine

>his shock when he first

>met the client. So

>is it OK for escorts

>to have some limits?

>I mean, escorts have some

>feelings, too.

 

Of course an escort is entitled to set whatever limits, he wants. And he should be honest about them up front. Just as the client should be honest about himself and not try to give a false impression of himself if he happens to be as you so indelicately put it a "walrus or elephant seal." I know I always honestly describe myself to an escort just so there's no misunderstanding or embarrassment when we finally meet.

 

However, I personally find the rest of your comments totally offensive. Good personal hygiene is not impossible for someone of that size, and I speak from personal experience. Having as recently as two years ago topped the scales at 420 lbs, but currently down to 350 lbs and falling. Now, granted I'm 6'3" and have a very large frame so I have always carried my weight well and evenly distributed, but I have never had a problem keeping myself impeccably clean...without the assistance of someone to "hold the fat rolls back." I have read some rude and outlandish comments before on this board, but you certainly win the prize as possibly being the rudest and most outlandish. There maybe people that size who are physically unable to keep themselves clean, but for you to make that generalization is just ridiculous.

 

I have been hiring escorts for almost a year now. And I have never encountered anyone (who having agreed to the meeting) was unable to perform because of my size nor has anyone of them ever had to comment negatively my personal hygiene. Because this particular "walrus or elephant seal" is quite capable of keeping himself clean at all times, plus I always take extra care to be clean when I have a date with an escort or anyone for that matter.

 

Now, I don't know about Bobby in Phoenix or the particular big man he met because I wasn't there (and neither were you). But to automatically accept that the guy had to be unclean because he weighed 400 lbs. is too much of a generalization. If the guy was unclean, then shame on him for not not at least taking enough pride in himself or having enough consideration for the escort to practice good hygiene. But shame on Bobby if he's only using this as a convenient excuse for a bad performance.

[Guest]

>Now, I don't know about Bobby

>in Phoenix or the particular

>big man he met because

>I wasn't there (and neither

>were you). But to automatically

>accept that the guy had

>to be unclean because he

>weighed 400 lbs. is too

>much of a generalization.

 

I'm sorry you found my comments offensive. I must admit I've never taken care or personally known anyone who was 6'3" and 400#, but I have taken care of a few people who weighed 400#, and in no case has any of them been anywhere close to being able to provide for their own hygiene. Anyone who weighs that much is going to have at least 100# of tissue in the abdomen which needs to be lifted and thoroughly cleaned under. In every case I have dealt with, it takes two people, even with the person's assistance, to get the area clean. One person, with the person's help, to lift the tissue, and one to scrub and rinse with a shower head. Once the tissue comes down, however, sweat accumulates, and the moist environment is favored by bacteria and fungi. I hardly think I even need to mention other problematic areas of anatomy.

The other issue was the client's merely describing himself as a "bear." I feel this showed either a deliberate intention to deceive or some serious denial issues. Yes, a real adult male American black bear can weigh 400# (females about half that), but I felt it was unfair not to prepare the escort for what to expect.

[Traveller]

>but I have taken care

>of a few people who

>weighed 400#, and in no

>case has any of them

>been anywhere close to being

>able to provide for their

>own hygiene.

>In every case I have

>dealt with, it takes two

>people, even with the person's

>assistance, to get the area

>clean. One person, with

>the person's help, to lift

>the tissue, and one to

>scrub and rinse with a

>shower head. Once the

>tissue comes down, however, sweat

>accumulates, and the moist environment

>is favored by bacteria and

>fungi. I hardly think

>I even need to mention

>other problematic areas of anatomy.

 

OK. The visual was right up there, but I've gotta ask - where, when and how much were you paid?

 

Later.

 

PS. I just can't get Fantasia out of my mind.

[Scorpio]

> I'm sorry you found

>my comments offensive.

 

Apology accepted, but not necessary! My point was that your comments were a generalization as far as my own experience goes. Such measures as you elaborated (in your first and second postings) were never a requirement for me when I was that weight and certainly not at my current weight. But just as all those weighing 200# don't have the same physique, neither do all those weighing 400#, which was really the point I was trying to make. (Height and bone structure play an important part.)

 

>The other issue was the

>client's merely describing himself as

>a "bear." I feel

>this showed either a deliberate

>intention to deceive or some

>serious denial issues.

 

We don't disagree on this, if all the client did was describe himself as a bear then that is terribly misleading, as I have seen men weighing only 180# desribe themselves as bears. And for this very reason, I subscribe to the theory that we "big men" should accurately describe our height and weight to the escort as opposed to using descriptive terms like bear or chub, which can be misleading. In my opinion, its better to be disappointed before the appointment is arragned as opposed to later.

[SmallTownJohn]

Hey there,

 

I appreciate the message center welcome. Both my BF & I have been avid readers for the past few months. And I've finally taken the time to chime in because he yelled for me to get out there & let them know you're alive! He(Ian) surprised me with a killer message that was printed in the email section thanking the Hooboy site for all the help its given me. So, if you get a chance, check out the entry from an escort's boyfriend. Thanks:0)

[Guest TruthTeller]

>I subscribe to

>the theory that we "big

>men" should accurately describe our

>height and weight to the

>escort as opposed to using

>descriptive terms like bear or

>chub, which can be misleading.

 

How about fat? What's wrong with using that word? Why do people have such an aversion to that word, wanting to replace them with nice euphamisms instead?

[Guest TruthTeller]

>Of course an escort is entitled

>to set whatever limits, he

>wants. And he should be

>honest about them up front.

 

I don't agree with this at all. I think that once an escort commits himself to a job, he should be required to submit to whatever wishes the client has, and if the escort refuses, the client has the right to force him to do it.

 

>Good personal hygiene is not

>impossible for someone of that

>size, and I speak from

>personal experience. Having as recently

>as two years ago topped

>the scales at 420 lbs,

>but currently down to 350

>lbs and falling.

 

How do you clean underneath the roles of fat, and how do you reach around to the areas that are very very far away from your arms?

 

>Now, granted

>I'm 6'3" and have a

>very large frame so I

>have always carried my weight

>well and evenly distributed,. . . .

 

I think you're doing a grave disservice to young and impressionable escorts to lead them to believe that there's any way to carry 450 lbs "well" or have it be "evenly distributed." How could you tell?

 

>. . . . plus I always take extra

>care to be clean when

>I have a date with

>an escort or anyone for

>that matter.

 

What do you do in preparation that you don't otherwise do when, say, you go to work, or sit down for a really hearty, nice meal?

 

 

>If the guy was unclean,

>then shame on him for

>not not at least taking

>enough pride in himself or

>having enough consideration for the

>escort to practice good hygiene.

 

How much pride can someone have in themselves when they're 450 lbs, whether clean or dirty?

[+ deej]

>>Of course an escort is entitled

>>to set whatever limits, he

>>wants. And he should be

>>honest about them up front.

>

>I don't agree with this at

>all. I think that

>once an escort commits himself

>to a job, he should

>be required to submit to

>whatever wishes the client has,

>and if the escort refuses,

>the client has the right

>to force him to do

>it.

 

I hope you were either kidding about this or under-explained your thinking.

 

You are hiring a companion who has the right to set limits on what you will do with his body. YOU ARE NOT PURCHASING A SLAVE.

 

If you honestly feel you should be able to force an escort into performing to your wishes (and against his), I pray you never hire any of the guys that I truly treasure as companions. They deserve better treatment. Frankly, if you let this attitude out in advance, they'll probably say no anyway, and rightly so.

[mmk]

I think that a person can have pride in themselves regardless of what size they are. Some people have the attitude that "Hey, this is me and if you do not like it then fuck off" Sure , there are some people who are heavy who are ashamed of themselves due to their size(much of that shame has to do with the stigma that society puts on people who are overweight)but some people truly do not care. To those people who can say "Screw off world, this is how I am", more power to you!

HOWEVER, cleanliness is a whole other issue entirely. If an escort could not perform due to the fact that a person was not clean, whether the client's weight is 150lbs or 450lbs, then I say more power to the escort for leaving. If a client is hiring an escort and can not make sure that they are clean, then that client deserves to be rejected. There is a major difference between "an after a good workout at the gym odor" and a serious body funk and if you do have a serious body funk, then do the world a favor, buy some soap and take a shower.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

god..... I love it!!! I just love it.......

 

Not since Groucho on U Bet Your LIfe...

 

:-)

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Pardon me TruthTeller, we haven't met yet. I try to be polite and reasonable in my responses to posts but sometimes I fail, as some can attest to. But...

 

>I don't agree with this at

>all. I think that

>once an escort commits himself

>to a job, he should

>be required to submit to

>whatever wishes the client has,

>and if the escort refuses,

>the client has the right

>to force him to do

>it.

 

From what fucking planet did you escape??

 

I feel better now though I know I'll have regrets. :-)

 

Thanks Deej for a more reasoned response. And I admire your forititude and taste for bitter gruel -- MS Windows -- You're a better man than I.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

TurthTeller,

 

After a few minutes passed I reread my post and wanted to write an apology for my brusque response. Then I reread your post again... Either you are kidding, or playing games to get a rise (which you did :-) ), or if not then reread the above post once again -- twice wouldn't be too much..

[Guest IM_Moore]

I am amazed at the replies in this thread (sans a few). Wen do w go back to making them niggers (sic) get to the back of the bus? What world are you people from? What gives you the right to speculate and judge someone who you do not know based soley on his weight?

[Scorpio]

>>Good personal hygiene is not

>>impossible for someone of that

>>size, and I speak from

>>personal experience. Having as recently

>>as two years ago topped

>>the scales at 420 lbs,

>>but currently down to 350

>>lbs and falling.

>

>How do you clean underneath the

>roles of fat, and how

>do you reach around to

>the areas that are very

>very far away from your

>arms?

 

As I stated, I'm quite capable of a comfortably reaching all areas of my body and cleaning them appropriately. It doesn't require any Herculean effort on my part or any extra assistance. Care to observe sometime. :-) Yes, I'm fat and make no excuses for that, but contrary to your impression there are not massive roles of fat that must be move around. There is fat, but unlike one my fellow poster's who has described himself as looking like Jabba the Hut...I don't look like that. So think what you will, it doesn't really matter to me.

 

>I think you're doing a grave

>disservice to young and impressionable

>escorts to lead them to

>believe that there's any way

>to carry 450 lbs "well"

>or have it be "evenly

>distributed." How could you

>tell?

 

Well, if you had read my post as carefully as you think you did, then you would have caught the fact that I don't weigh 450 lbs, never have. I weigh 350 lbs., which I inform the escort of along with my height and let them draw their own conclusions. I don't do them a grave disservice...I tell them and they're free to accept the appointment or not. I'm not twisting any arms here. The comment about carrying the weight well is based on unsolictied comments made by various people, who tend to tend to think that I weigh about 40 or 50 pounds less than I actual do. However, I'm under no delusions that I'm ready for the cover of GQ nor the centerfold of a porn magazine, but I refuse to lock myself away in closet somewhere to satisfy jerks like you.

 

>>. . . . plus I always take extra

>>care to be clean when

>>I have a date with

>>an escort or anyone for

>>that matter.

>

>What do you do in preparation

>that you don't otherwise do

>when, say, you go to

>work, or sit down for

>a really hearty, nice meal?

 

Again, read my post I take no special effort that I don't do otherwise. But I do make sure I'm freshly showered just before the escort arrives, which is simple common courtesy it has nothing to do with been fat. I'm always particular about my hygiene regardless of the circumstances. Again, I may be fat but the misconception that all fat people are lax about their personal hygiene is stereotype. In some cases true, but not in all cases.

 

>How much pride can someone have

>in themselves when they're 450

>lbs, whether clean or dirty?

 

Well, as I said I'm not 450 lbs but 350 lbs, but I don't think that really makes a difference to you. Because based on your somewhat asiine comments that still makes me a less than adequate person. I take as much pride in my appearance as possible by making sure that I am always properly attired and always hygienic. There are ways for fat people to have a presentable appearance and not succumb to the stereotypical sloppy appearance of a fat man, but again I think you seem to doubt that. And I have thus far lost 70 pounds and kept that off for two years now and continuing to lose gradually but slowly. Now, whether or not I ever reach the ideal body weight for my height remains to be seen, but my weight problem doesn't make me think I'm a less worthy individual; and if you can't deal with that, well that's your problem not mine.

[Guest NakedTony]

Tampa,

 

TruthTeller could re-read your post (and deej's) a dozen times, but, there's no guarantee he'll understand it. I believe his mind is stuck in a time long ago and far away.

 

Trying to talk sense with his kind is like peeing yourself while wearing black pants -- it may give you a warm feeling but no one will notice. :-(

[+ deej]

>From what fucking planet did you

>escape??

 

>Thanks Deej for a more

>reasoned response. And I

>admire your forititude and taste

>for bitter gruel -- MS

>Windows -- You're a better

>man than I.

 

No, thank YOU TY. You said what I wanted to say but people get bitchy with moderators if they give their honest opinion.

 

We're not supposed to have them, you know.

[+ deej]

Oh, I forgot to reply to the Windows part.

 

It's not bitter gruel at all, unless you let it be. It can be chewy as hell, but it's not bitter.

 

And I can say that about just about every OS I've worked with. My first network was Xenix-based, serving DOS to the desktop. If you look for faults you can find them. If you look for the stuff that works well, you can find that too.

 

It's just like hiring escorts. You can whine so much that he won't kiss that you miss the fact he has a butt you can bounce quarters off of and loves having it played with.

 

I'm a glass half full kinda guy, I guess.

[Scorpio]

>From what fucking planet did you

>escape??

>

>I feel better now though I

>know I'll have regrets. :-)

 

Thanks TY, I opted for a more diplomatic approach in my response...but I like yours better. :-)

[Guest]

>OK. The visual was right up

>there, but I've gotta ask

>- where, when and how

>much were you paid?

>

>Later.

 

Let's just say I'm not the one doing the pulling or scubbing. I have been told by the ones doing it "You owe me one!" though.

[Guest cp8036]

hummm....

 

I'll go out on a limb here.. I think TT has some issues to deal with. Maybe he is not fat, but probably is ugly, and cannot get a date.

 

He seems jealous of someone who gets paid for their company. So we have someone that is ugly, bitter, lonely, and obnoxious. I'd rather be fat.

 

 

 

On another note...

Bilbao,

 

TT as pronounced in Tagalog (Filipino) is "teetee" slang for DICK. Maybe is appropiate in this thread...eh?