FINDING THE MESSAGE CENTER FRUSTRATING

[Guest Jason Reardone]

http://www.JasonReardoneEscort.com

 

In the recent past I have written quite a few posts. To my own credit nearly 98% of them have been positive to some degree and I think offered an alternative view if nothing else on the situation at hand. Lately it seems the message center has become a cess-pool (sp) of negativity.

 

I've thought about this for some time and internalized much of what has happened and why. Wondering why no matter what voice or point of view is in question always the worst side is vagrantly reciprocated by others. Is this the true personality and point of view of clients on this center?

 

In my personal experience with client referred by this site has shown just the opposite. 100% of the clients that have come to see me from this site have been kind, generous, loving, affectionate and caring. Why is that not reflected in the Message Center. Any unsuspecting, wet behind the balls escort would naturally think that this industry is full of "pimps and whores" (as one loving poster put it).

 

I am quite frustrated and frankly after my last post, "Clients Flaking, what the fu.." I've had my fill. I'm so incredibly thankful for what Hooboy has done here and I cannot tell you how much it has changed my life. I am the happiest that I have ever been and my level of fullfillment is honestly at it's peak. I travel, I enjoy my hobby of car collecting, I provide for a family that is in need and most importantly I feel worthwhile. All of this goes into the shitter whenever I read responses in the Message Center.

 

I in no way want to hurt anyone's feelings and I'm not directing this to any one poster. I'm simply responding to the overall "tone" of the venue and venting my frustrations. I'm sad to say that someone will probly find something in this post to attack and exploit. I'm happy to say that chances are I will not read it.

 

Again I'm thankful for the review site and want Hooboy to know that he has my continued support on a regular basis and I appreciate all the kind things that have been said from those who KNOW me. I somehow do not think I'm alone in this opinion as many escorts have contacted me outside the message center to voice their concern and/or support.

 

It seems if the demand-market population has a desire for upstanding, quality, kind-hearted, educated, sincere, good looking escorts then they would propegate such and evironment to attract such a following. For some reason (perhaps self esteem) I feel the need to apologize for my opinion here. I will apologize for posting in this very venue that has disenchanted me, but I cannot apologize for having this opinion for the evidence is clear. <once again politically incorrect-jason>

[bluenix]

Jason, babe, you need to chill. You're mistakenly treating this message board as if it were an actual community, where people care about one another and about the consequences of what they say or express. It just ain't so.

 

Meanwhile, honey-chile, allow me to remind you of your saner moments, where an amorphous community of practice wishes you well. Pay no attention to the lowest common denominator. They will drag you down.

 

For whatever it's worth, I have thought for almost a year now that you have GOT to be one great big sweetie pies working in the field of today. You, similarly, should retract your less than charitable remarks.

 

Love you, babe. Suck it up.

 

blue

[Guest Jason Reardone]

>Jason, babe, you need to chill.

>You're mistakenly treating this message

>board as if it were

>an actual community, where people

>care about one another and

>about the consequences of what

>they say or express. It

>just ain't so.

 

I disagree that people don't care. They do! I am profiled and personified by my comments here. Conversely I am judged and sized-up either by posters comments as view by potential clients or the posters themselves.

 

I agree maybe I should "chill" and don't get me wrong, I'm not losing sleep over it, However, it is a source of disappointment for me since the Message Center was a source of validation for me and provided a certain amount of esteem for me. Connecting with others in the "escorting" world, exchanging ideas as people in the "normal" workforce would by the water cooler. Something I miss. It's kinda hard to do that when posters are singled out and crucified at will. (referencing some of my friends)

 

As to your comment about my less than charitable comments. Although I can't think of any specificly I know it has happened on occasion, not par for the course. <pulling up boot straps-jason>

[Guest WetDream]

Please keep posting. I am beginning to think that the hysterical tone of the Message Center is just the nature of these kind of places. Many people can type faster than they can think (please read Boston Guy's response to DC). The anonymous nature of cyberspace also makes it easier to be bitchy. I think the secret is never to take any response to a posting personally. Not too easy sometimes.

[Barry]

Jason,

 

We've chatted about this before. After reading your post I scrolled down the entire page here in the Lounge. I found threads that were interesting, informative, very personal, educational and downright funny. Within some of those threads

there is some bitching, cat fighting, downright nastiness, uncalled for negativity and the like. Hell, I have even managed to get a thread specifically addressing me and how bad I am. I was kinda honored....name in the title post and all.

 

But I never lost sight of the good content because of all the bullshit. That's the key. I also thought about the mix here and it really reminds me of typical daily conversations in the corporate office. Well the topics are different but the contributions and reactions and bullshit are very similar.

 

This community isn't really much different than any other. I just think we let it get to us a bit more.

[Justice]

Jason,

 

It's always good to see your posts. I can understand your frustration. The bad news is that there is more than a little negativity on this board. There's also a few posters who are quick to slam anyone -- especially escorts -- that they happen to disagree with. The good news is that those posters are few in number. It's really very easy to avoid them and their negativity. You just have to decide who those posters are and then just stop reading their posts. You can't get upset/annoyed if you don't read what they have to say!

 

Please don't stay away. Some of us very much like what you have to say.

 

Take care,

 

Justice

[Losgatan]

Jason,

 

Before I was a moderator here, I was a relatively infrequent visitor to this board. I read the threads that seemed interesting and skipped over the rest. I certainly didn’t spend the time and energy needed to effectively counter some of the more outrageous posts that have appeared.

 

As a moderator, though, I got more involved. I read every post that went up and couldn’t restrain myself from engaging in some of the more divisive discussions. And I got very disheartened over some of the bitterness and outright cruelty here.

 

Now, I’m in a third phase. I truly believe that 90% of the posters here are sensitive, caring and intelligent people. And I truly enjoy their comments and insights. The other 10% are easy to ignore. They contribute very little of value and, in the end, self-destruct.

 

Although I realize it’s tough when your reputation, character and livelihood are at stake, I hope you’ll continue to contribute here. You’ve already proved to most of us that you’re a wonderful person and an exceptional escort.

[Boston Guy]

Remember that others here judge us by what WE say -- and seldom by what other posters say about us. Our words speak for and about us. Let other people's words speak for them.

 

If people are unkind or unfair, silence in return is often deafening.

 

BG

[Guest Jason Reardone]

http://www.JasonReardoneEscort.com

 

"We've chatted about this before. After reading your post I scrolled down the entire page here in the Lounge. I found threads that were interesting, informative, very personal, educational and downright funny"

 

I agree that there is some funny shit here, I do get that. I think my issue lies in the deliberate often nonsensical (sp) attacks on escorts and posters. It seems any opportunity to contradict, degrade or "out" an escort is taken.

 

For example, My post on "Clients canceling, what the fu.."

 

I clearly stated that I had six calls to fill my one open appt and none of them showed, my question was to other escorts or poster asking for advice or explanation on how they may have handled the situation. Most every response was an attack on receiving 6 calls a day. Furthermore, provoking conflict by attacking my policy and questioning my "marketing" (as one poster put it). They totally missed my point and honed in on something that might be worthy of a tabloid issue.

 

The responses I received from some of the escorts were comforting to some degree. And I enjoyed some other peoples point of view. I just don't get it, but bitching about it won't help. I wish I could offer some venue that could provide something positive, something you look forward to reading....I'm afraid to look anymore.

 

Anyhow, I'm not bent outta' shape, don't think that, But it's a thought that goes through my mind. I think how valuble such an environment would be and how wonderful i used to feel reading responses here. At any rate, i'll shut up, i hear the peanut gallery booing me. <going to work on my website, jason>

[Guest jeffOH]

Response to #8

I wasn't "attacking" marketing techniques, Jason. I was merely

questioning how you manage to make it work, that's all. I think

a big part of your frustration here is that you take things way

too personally. Don't look to this site as a source of validation

or for a self-esteem stroke. You must find that within yourself.

 

I live in an area the "going rate" is less than NYC and LA, so

I can't really afford to be seeing just one client a day. I

charge $120 for incall and $140 for outcall and that's for new

clients only. All of my regular clients are paying whatever my

rates were when I first started seeing them.

 

So, please don't think I was "attacking" you over any of your

escorting practices. We all do what works for us. I was stating

what my experience has been and that I have known escorts who

used that "one client a day" thing, but I knew that they were

being less than truthful. Honestly, I prefer no more than 1 or

2 clients a day, mainly because I enjoy my free time to pursue

my own interests.

 

[email protected]

[Guest spendlove]

I read the thread that you referred to in your post and I do not see that anyone posting there said anything particularly negative about you. There were some people who questioned what you had to say. If you find it intolerable that people ask you to clarify something about your post that they don't understand or express disagreement with your opinions, then message boards are definitely not for you.

 

What you seem to be saying is that everyone who posts here should try to create an environment in which escorts feel welcome, which I suppose means never say anything negative about an escort. I really don't think that's likely to happen. Perhaps you can find another message board where it will.

[+ deej]

I think my issue lies in the deliberate often nonsensical (sp) attacks on escorts and posters. It seems any opportunity to contradict, degrade or "out" an escort is taken.

 

For example, My post on "Clients canceling, what the fu.."

 

I certainly hope it wasn't MY responses on that thread that made you feel this way. Every word was meant with humor and affection. In fact, most of what I post is meant with humor and affection.

 

Re-reading the thread now, I don't see it as all that harsh or attacking. (And trust me, I've been the target of plenty of attacks. I've been attacked on OTHER SITES for words I've said here!)

 

I get tired of the negativity here, just as you do. I've often nearly bailed but that smacks too much of throwing out the baby with the bathwater for my liking. In fact, I once even resigned as moderator but HooBoy either missed it or chose to ignore it.

 

Life on the internet is filled with negativity. Guys will say many things they would not say face-to-face because of the anonymity provided by this medium.

 

I truly hope you'll continue to hang around here, because your presence is truly valued. (By ME at least.)

[Guest WetDream]

"I clearly stated that I had six calls to fill my one open appt and none of them showed, my question was to other escorts or poster asking for advice or explanation on how they may have handled the situation. Most every response was an attack on receiving 6 calls a day. Furthermore, provoking conflict by attacking my policy and questioning my "marketing" (as one poster put it). They totally missed my point and honed in on something that might be worthy of a tabloid issue."

 

Jason, all of us that write for a living soon realize that what is clear in the head is not necessarily clear on the page. Judging from the answers you got, do you still think that it was clear? It certainly wasn't clear to me until your additional posts. Please don't take all responses to your posts personally. This can be hard in your line of work where you body and your personality are all part of your product. Criticism, even if it is only implied, is quite different for an escort as opposed to a secretary whose boss is disappointed in the way s/he files. It also helps to skip over the posts from people you already know are cantankerous.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Jason,

 

I understand and appreciate your concern. It doesn’t take but one or two throwing eggs to turn a pleasant occasion into something much less... and it can be painful especially for the target. It takes a little experience and maturity gained through trial by fire to deal with this environment and that is not a put down certainly of you nor of anyone else, it is just a fact of life on this board. Most of us do not see, much less suffer, this sort of behavior on a regular basis in the face-to-face world of everyday life. I had to learn to deal with it and it took me some time to come to terms. I learned to accept, or not, posters on their own terms and respond or ignore as I’m moved. I learned to choose my words with care and consider the effectiveness of my words on what I wished to achieve and what I wished not to achieve. It can be a treacherous environment warranting caution, particularly for escorts -- a sad but true fact.

 

Often the best policy is not to rise to the bait. If the occasion demands an answer, make your best thoughful response and leave it at that. Extended exchanges only proivde a vehicle to contiued spewing of rancor and bile -- something else I had to learn. Occasinally there may be a reason for extended exchange but it rarely has to do with sheddingl light on the issues but rather on the participants.

 

I agree with BG once again when he says “Remember that others here judge us by what WE say -- and seldom by what other posters say about us. Our words speak for and about us. Let other people's words speak for them.” And Barry is right on when he says “But I never lost sight of the good content because of all the bullshit.” Will put this same thought a little differently in a recent post that I can’t locate at the moment but to paraphrase -- we come here for the best the site has to offer... and the best makes the visit worthwhile.

 

I hope you weigh the comments in this thread and choose to remain a participant in this community, such as it is. If we let the bile and rancor run us out then what will be left of this very useful and, for now, effective site. I hope others will also weigh these comments including: Shadow, Theron, Zack Evans, DCescortBOY, and many others...

[ted]

Email and message boards are very open to MIScommunication. I had an experience about a year and a half ago with an escort, where our emails to each other, neither of which were intended to be harsh or malicious, ended up being misinterpreted that way. Once we actually talked the situation was resolved very quickly. Since one can not hear the tone of voice or see the facial expression of the poster, one can never be 100% sure of the intent. I think this would be a much friendlier place if Everyone would give everyone else a break and assume the posts are meant in a positive light, rather than an attack. Of course there are some that leave no room for "interpretation", but they do seem to be less frequent than a few months ago. If there is something I see to which I react negatively, I try and wait at least 30 minutes before putting in my two cents, so hopefully the emotion has died down.

[Guest JT]

Well said, TY, indeed! :-) Now I find out we have more in common than the "Vancouver Triplets" LOL ! ;-)

 

JT