Findom

[ICTJOCK]

4 hours ago, Vin Marco said:

No one is questioning your financial or legal acumen or where you come from.... a place  that you describe as a quite different place ( perhaps to the manor born; it doesn't matter and I really don't care ) I just think that there are even better ways to say that something just isn't for you. Just because something isn't for me doesn't mean it's wrong or a maladjusted behavior.  Different "strokes" for different folks. 

And for some, the best thing is simply remain silent

[Vin Marco]

19 minutes ago, ICTJOCK said:

And for some, the best thing is simply remain silent

The irony burns so hard 😁

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

3 hours ago, ThroatCummer said:

Put another way, if I were the provider and I had a client who was a moneymaker for me, but I saw that it was overall unhealthy or destructive to their lives over the course of several meetings, I might start to take the role of therapist for my time rather than engage in their fantasies and back away if that isn't helpful. That's just me. 

This I totally understand.  It's one of the more difficult things an escort can deal with.

You cut people off from bad behaviors (you're helping cause) when you see them unable to handle the situation.

Often times, they just move on to another person and continue.  Intrinsic behaviors are tough to change.

What you don't do is stick around and make a bad situation even worse.

 

[soloyo215]

On 12/29/2024 at 10:11 AM, BenjaminNicholas said:

Way to judge others 👍

Thank you. Count on me for it.

[+ ApexNomad]

Before I met my late partner, there was a chapter in my life when I explored various desires and kinks, one of which was FinDom. It wasn’t something I dove into impulsively—I initiated it after much thought and with someone I trusted completely. He was a regular provider at the time, someone who had always created a judgment-free, safe space for me to explore my boundaries.

We talked extensively before we began. Trust and communication were non-negotiable for both of us. He emphasized the importance of setting boundaries and encouraged me to articulate what I wanted. We even established a safeword, which I never had to use, but it added an extra layer of security and reinforced the trust between us.

Financially, I took steps to ensure that I could immerse myself in the experience without compromising my personal agency. I created a separate bank account with a specific allocation of funds tied to a dedicated debit card. This setup gave me the freedom to surrender within the agreed-upon parameters, while still maintaining control over the framework. This wasn’t about blind trust or exploitation—it was about crafting a dynamic that felt safe and empowering for both of us.

For me, the experience also had a sexual component, which heightened its intensity. There was a dom/sub element that appealed to me on multiple levels, blending physicality with the psychological thrill of surrendering in a structured way. He didn’t simply make demands; he tailored the experience with creativity and care, using the funds to enhance the dynamic—whether by purchasing items that embodied the fantasy or presenting them in ways that deepened the power exchange.

For me, it wasn’t about humiliation or exploitation, because there wasn’t any. There was only trust, respect, and mutual understanding. At the end of each encounter, he checked in each and every time to ensure I was comfortable and that the dynamic continued to align with my expectations. I always knew I had the ability to end it at any time, no questions asked. That sense of security allowed me to fully immerse myself in the experience.

The sexual aspect was deeply tied to the power exchange. It wasn’t just about wearing the things I bought for him or fulfilling a fantasy—it was about him owning me in every sense. When he was in control, I wasn’t just surrendering money; I was surrendering myself. The physical and sexual domination intensified this. He would fuck me in the clothes I bought for him and in the clothes he wanted me to wear; or in the back room of a restaurant he’d closed out; or in a car we rented. And so on. It wasn’t just the act—it was about him taking complete command. His alpha energy was undeniable—assertive, confident, and all-encompassing. I was his, entirely.

[GTMike]

Interesting all and good info to hear the wide spectrum of perspectives.

I would only add in my very limited personal experience that the "Findom" profiles/discussions etc.. to me have been ~19/20 year olds to early 30's social media Gents who promote themselves as "Master _ _ _" (whatever name, fill in the blank).

They had Insta but now mostly "Twitter/X and OF/JFF" accounts and primarily just want "Subs" to send them money for texts, pictures, and maybe custom video's etc.. with teases of potential meet-ups. (Yes I understand limitations of communication regulations of some platforms).

It comes off as them really just phishing for "weak minded Subs" to instantly be impressed/thankful of the allure of being dominated merely by their "Straight-Masc-Alpha" personae. A Findom dynamic being the top of the food chain to them.

It's very quick transactionally oriented and almost specifically by definition to be antithetical to a careful, deliberately slow, nurturing and mutually respectful dynamic as others have experienced.

Again I'm not meaning to debate the authentic "pro's and con's" when properly constructed but more how I've experienced it being marketed.

[+ ThroatCummer]

1 hour ago, GTMike said:

..... to me have been ~19/20 year olds to early 30's social media Gents who promote themselves as "Master _ _ _"

The issue will eventually be the damage it does to themselves. They'll walk around in general life with this attitude and life will hand their ass to them at some point and they will have no skills to deal with it. Sad. 

The universe always wins. 

[+ Drew Collins]

8 hours ago, ThroatCummer said:

The issue will eventually be the damage it does to themselves. They'll walk around in general life with this attitude and life will hand their ass to them at some point and they will have no skills to deal with it. Sad. 

The universe always wins. 

This. 100%.  Reality always asserts itself.

[+ Pensant]

13 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

When he was in control, I wasn’t just surrendering money; I was surrendering myself. The physical and sexual domination intensified this. He would fuck me in the clothes I bought for him and in the clothes he wanted me to wear; or in the back room of a restaurant he’d closed out; or in a car we rented. And so on. It wasn’t just the act—it was about him taking complete command. His alpha energy was undeniable—assertive, confident, and all-encompassing. I was his, entirely.

Beautifully presented. I can understand the eroticism and breathless titillation, although I’d never engage in findom given my obsessiveness about my money.