Let's Talk Massages: Keepin' It Real!

[d.anders]

9 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

Personal attacks and replies to them are not a "varies story and nuance".

I was not referring to that. I do not support personal attacks.

[+ Socalguy]

I'd like to add Niko_LCMT to the list. It wasn't a horrible experience but his pictures are outdated, the setup was a little sketchy (a curtained off area in part of a bedroom), and the conversation was very stilted.

 

 

[Ali Gator]

This one has stayed in my memory for years...I'm sure many of you know who I'm talking about.

 

I don't know if he is still around, but years ago I hired "Johnny Tantric" in NYC. (I'm talking maybe 15- 20 years ago?). Anyhow, I can't recall how I saw his ad (I don't know if it was a 'rent' site, as I wasn't too familiar with them back then), but I liked his smile, blond hair and body. I wasn't sure what 'tantric' was, but I figured I would give it a shot.

He came to my hotel room on time and looked hot (especially for a masseur), decked out in black leather. His face / body matched the photos and his blond hair was a bit longer (I liked it). I get undressed (I'm hard at this point, standing just a few feet from him in his leather) and I don't think he even notices - he's talking a mile a minute as though he has known me forever (I figured he was on something). Somehow, I find all this sexy. He undresses, and as we're both standing there (he's soft), and I'm expecting him to tell me what to do next. Instead,  he lays down on my bed and asks me to get him hard by performing oral on him. WHAT?  I asked him - isn't this supposed to be MY massage? He tells me it is - and this is how he starts the appointment. Fine - I dive right in and enjoy it, and so does he. 

Long story short, there is no 'massage' as the two of us start rolling around on the bed and 'exploring each other' and making out (again, he assures me this is part of the appointment). After about a half hour, we both cum and the physical aspect of the massage is done (I guess). We're both lying on the bed naked and he wants to 'cuddle with me' (fine, he's cute and sexy) and keeps talking about himself - he's going to be an actor and a country singer within a year, he just does massage as a 'side gig' to make money for his move to California. He starts playing with me again (I get hard again) and I do the same to him, and then we head to the shower to clean each other off and we both (lightly) cum again. 

He gets dressed, I pay him (I think it was $200 back then which was 'a lot') and he kisses me goodbye and tells me he hopes to see me again. I have one question before he leaves: "That was a tantric massage ? All we did was have sex."   He tells me a tantric massage is anything you want it to be - its where 'the energy takes you'.  And he's out the door.  

I was indeed tempted to call him again a few times when I returned and saw his ads, but then wondered what for ? For just sex ? For a tantric massage and hope we have the same energy ? I passed. 

[Redwine56]

23 hours ago, Bluefin said:

I had a provider climb on top of me while I was face down to rub his chest on my back. Normally a fun element except he came on my back pretty quickly. Kinda hot I guess, except when I turned over he completed the massage in like 5 min and didn’t get me off. I mentioned something about leaving me with blue balls and he said he doesn’t give HE, and started getting dressed and cleaning up. 😂 
 

Sounds like a very selfish masseur to me.  

[Redwine56]

On 1/13/2024 at 7:08 AM, Becket said:

Congratulations, @relax man. You're my first personal attack on this fine site! And we do frown upon insults and rudeness around here. But hey, you'll get remembered for something.

Nasty, huh? Haven't been called that since I was nine years old and the maid saw that I tried to touch our German Shepherd's nut sack. But, to be fair, ole Rex sure did have a great pair of low hangers.

Lazy? Guilty as charged. I love nothing more than to lay on the table and let the massage boy do all the work. What do I offer in the experience? O yea, money.

Excuse oneself and go to the bathroom to fart? Well, can't say I've ever done that, whether naked or fully dressed; at a football game or in church. What, no left cheek sneaks allowed in your clan? I can't see myself taking on this habit. Geez, I'd be running back and forth to the bathroom all day long!

You take my tale (or tail) too seriously methinks. This thread asked for "experiences or funny stories." I thought the whole thing was hilarious. My needing to fart on the table. Telling the guy I need to fart (instead of just letting it rip). And then him having a hissy fit at the thought of one of his clients ever needing to pass gas. It was an amusing moment, nothing more. Where you took it; insults, telling off, having the nerve....., acting like you've been wronged perhaps might have been a bit of an overreaction. (Kinda like my massage guy acted.) But that was my point. 

So let's all smile, lighten up, and help one another get through the day. No sense in being mean and insulting, unless of course that's all you know how to be.

 

@Becket- i found the experience you decided to share with us as very natural and honest and something most people are unwilling to share.  Here you were providing notice that you were about to let it rip and you get retaliated against.  First of all, not all farts are alike!  There are those silent but deadly types that are blown on crowded elevators.  I had a friend who took such pleasure in doing so that people would run off the elevator before they reached their floor because of the severe stench!  He would brag how he could clear a crowded elevator with one stink bomb!  Then there are those who let it rip loud and clear on a crowded bus or train.  A lot of it comes down to not taking a good shit before leaving the house.  Everyone's plumbing works differently and then there are those particularly gassy foods.  Your story gave me a good chuckle.  I would have appreciated the warning and said let it rip.  If it was a stinky one, I'd back off.  😉

[sfhairyman415]

On 8/13/2023 at 12:24 PM, Jamesp said:

ime for a quick chat about finding the ultimate massage experience. We all dig a good-looking setup, sure, but let's not forget what really counts – the actual massage mojo!

If you've ever come across those eye-candy masseurs who can't rub two thoughts together, let's help each other out. Share your "not-so-wow" experiences, so we all steer clear of those not-so-legit rub-downs.

Whether it's a funny story or a serious heads-up, your insights can be a lifeline for someone seeking legit relaxation. This all about keeping it real, and that includes our massage game too!

Here are my first few:

 

Newbie question here but why is the OP's text greyed out?

[d.anders]

11 minutes ago, sfhairyman415 said:

Newbie question here but why is the OP's text greyed out?

It seems to be a feature of the software, consolidation. If you want to see all of it clearly, click on Expand.

47 minutes ago, Redwine56 said:

If it was a stinky one, I'd back off.

In the massage room of my former gym, they had a small, oscillating fan. I had always assumed it was there for the extra-warm room, since they kept that room pretty warm for the naked customer. Maybe the fan helps in the presence of a small gas burst. Many spas have these aromatherapy machines, and some of those scents are quite powerful. I imagine pro masseurs are equipped with plenty of information on how best to mitigate a gassy customer. I know plenty of straight guys who are damn proud of their destructive gas releases, and I doubt they hold back when on a massage table.

[d.anders]

1 hour ago, Ali Gator said:

I don't know if he is still around, but years ago I hired "Johnny Tantric" in NYC.

I think this is the guy: 

tantrictouchnyc on RentMasseur

RENTMASSEUR.COM

---

View my profile on RentMasseur.com

I remember him from long ago. He was quite handsome in his youth, and he had a pretty ass. He wanted to be a filmmaker. I think he actually did make a small, independent film. It looks like he got out of NYC, but he still uses the word tantric in his ad.

[Ali Gator]

Yes - that's the Tantric guy. Can it be those are his current pictures ?  He's still sexy looking if they are (he must be pushing 50 now).

Yes - he wanted to be a film-maker (and a country singer, I recall). I mistakenly said 'actor'. 

Thanks for finding him. If those are accurate pics, I wouldn't mind meeting up with him again. 

[Guest]

16 hours ago, questbear said:

Here's a few of my ones to avoid

#1  https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/1803/  - Never Again!

I’ve seen him twice. Although it was pre-Covid, it was pretty good as far as I remember. What didn’t you like?  Feel free to DM me. 

[d.anders]

1 hour ago, Ali Gator said:

Tantric guy. Can it be those are his current pictures ?

I haven't seen him in decades, but I assume all the photos are accurate. He knows photography. However, the photos come from very different years, and some are very old. You can tell. He very well may be in his 50's now, but you know how these guys are about revealing their truthful age. Until you see him in person, you can't really know for sure. His ad suggests he's grown quite a bit, far more open than he used to be. He's been doing this tantric massage business for at least 20 years, if not much longer, so I expect he's found a way to bring pleasure, and possibly enjoy the process.

Edited January 14 by d.anders

[StarQualityLuke]

2 hours ago, wolverine26tx said:

I’ve seen him twice. Although it was pre-Covid, it was pretty good as far as I remember. What didn’t you like?  Feel free to DM me. 

What happened that you stated never again? 

[Dr.Daddy]

Worst massage, I was bruised the next day. Also, the dirtiest apartment I’ve ever visited for an in-call 🤮 I don’t know how he has good reviews, but as always YMMV! You’ve been warned haha:

Massagebyken on RentMasseur

RENTMASSEUR.COM

---

View my profile on RentMasseur.com

 

[Ali Gator]

4 hours ago, d.anders said:

I haven't seen him in decades, but I assume all the photos are accurate. He knows photography. However, the photos come from very different years, and some are very old. You can tell. He very well may be in his 50's now, but you know how these guys are about revealing their truthful age. Until you see him in person, you can't really know for sure. His ad suggests he's grown quite a bit, far more open than he used to be. He's been doing this tantric massage business for at least 20 years, if not much longer, so I expect he's found a way to bring pleasure, and possibly enjoy the process.

I said pushing 50 but yes you're right - upon closer look, I think he's in his 50s. The photo with the sunglasses on suggest he went to Barry Manilow's plastic surgeon and said "I'll have the Manilow".  He has definitely had work done, and I think hair plugs. 

[LookingAround]

17 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

I said pushing 50 but yes you're right - upon closer look, I think he's in his 50s. The photo with the sunglasses on suggest he went to Barry Manilow's plastic surgeon and said "I'll have the Manilow".  He has definitely had work done, and I think hair plugs. 

I saw him a good 20+ years ago and he was in his 30’s then. 

[MoonshineAndMolly]

On 1/14/2024 at 1:03 AM, The Dude said:

This is one of those guys who travels every day.  I have no idea how they have time to take appointments and make any money.

I'm so curious about the original commenter's experience with:

 https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/1803/. 

 

I saw him once. It was mediocre in every single way (he just endlessly talked about himself...and I'm sorry, but he's not an interesting guy), but "never again!" makes me think there's a story there. Haha. 

Edited 18 hours ago by MoonshineAndMolly

[edinbrooklyn]

On 1/10/2024 at 4:40 PM, relax man said:

If you have time to casually announce that you’re going to cut the stilton, you have time to get up and use the restroom.  Nobody’s saying people don’t fart; just be respectful of other people.  It’s not your place to decide for others whether they should be ok with having to smell your rank internal organ odor.  Massage therapists didn’t sign up for that.

I’m still in total disbelief that the OP thinks it was the masseur’s reaction that killed the mood, and not his proclamation of flatulence.

Cut the stilton! Hilarious. But I love stilton. A lot of my favorite cheeses smell like, well, ass.

[Casual]

On 1/14/2024 at 5:12 AM, Socalguy said:

I'd like to add Niko_LCMT to the list. It wasn't a horrible experience but his pictures are outdated, the setup was a little sketchy (a curtained off area in part of a bedroom), and the conversation was very stilted.

 

 

His reviews are all good though.  Sometimes I wonder if people don't like to leave bad reviews because they are afraid of retaliation from the provider. 

[+ Jamesp]

On 1/14/2024 at 10:55 AM, Ali Gator said:

This one has stayed in my memory for years...I'm sure many of you know who I'm talking about.

 

I don't know if he is still around, but years ago I hired "Johnny Tantric" in NYC. (I'm talking maybe 15- 20 years ago?). Anyhow, I can't recall how I saw his ad (I don't know if it was a 'rent' site, as I wasn't too familiar with them back then), but I liked his smile, blond hair and body. I wasn't sure what 'tantric' was, but I figured I would give it a shot.

He came to my hotel room on time and looked hot (especially for a masseur), decked out in black leather. His face / body matched the photos and his blond hair was a bit longer (I liked it). I get undressed (I'm hard at this point, standing just a few feet from him in his leather) and I don't think he even notices - he's talking a mile a minute as though he has known me forever (I figured he was on something). Somehow, I find all this sexy. He undresses, and as we're both standing there (he's soft), and I'm expecting him to tell me what to do next. Instead,  he lays down on my bed and asks me to get him hard by performing oral on him. WHAT?  I asked him - isn't this supposed to be MY massage? He tells me it is - and this is how he starts the appointment. Fine - I dive right in and enjoy it, and so does he. 

Long story short, there is no 'massage' as the two of us start rolling around on the bed and 'exploring each other' and making out (again, he assures me this is part of the appointment). After about a half hour, we both cum and the physical aspect of the massage is done (I guess). We're both lying on the bed naked and he wants to 'cuddle with me' (fine, he's cute and sexy) and keeps talking about himself - he's going to be an actor and a country singer within a year, he just does massage as a 'side gig' to make money for his move to California. He starts playing with me again (I get hard again) and I do the same to him, and then we head to the shower to clean each other off and we both (lightly) cum again. 

He gets dressed, I pay him (I think it was $200 back then which was 'a lot') and he kisses me goodbye and tells me he hopes to see me again. I have one question before he leaves: "That was a tantric massage ? All we did was have sex."   He tells me a tantric massage is anything you want it to be - its where 'the energy takes you'.  And he's out the door.  

I was indeed tempted to call him again a few times when I returned and saw his ads, but then wondered what for ? For just sex ? For a tantric massage and hope we have the same energy ? I passed. 

That dude is likely still working as a masseur in NYC under the same name. Pretty sure I booked a massage with him once, but as soon as I got to his place, I noped the fuck out of there. He opened the door and started spouting some weird shit about love and waiting his whole life for me. I was like, "Uh, you definitely got the wrong guy, pal." I still paid him for the appointment, but I turned right back around and left. Usually I'd be pissed about a masseur cutting the session short, but in this case, I have zero regrets. That was sketchy as hell and I'm glad I got out of there ASAP.

Edited 16 hours ago by Jamesp