Is honesty the best policy with client's martial status?

[gregkidman]

Escorts,

There was a review where a guy says that he is married and hired two escorts for a session. Do you like to know that a client is married or in a relationship before you have a session? Is this too much information? If you know that a client is in a relationship, would you prefer NOT to have a session (because the guy should focus on his relationship)? Or you go ahead with the session? You go into the session, thinking that you bring relief from his relationship?

Cheers,

Greg

[Guest josephga]

As a massage therapist id rather not know. even though what i offer is a real massage an limited to a hand release id still rather not know. I dont see any reason why married men feel the need to tell this info..

[Rick Munroe]

I don't care if he's married or not; she can even tag along to pick up some deep throat pointers. :o

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

LOL - Rick you really are a giver!:7

[+ Oliver]

Do you care about his "martial"(sic) status? I say, make love, not war! :9 Now if you're wondering about his marital status ... }(

[Rick Munroe]

>Do you care about his "martial"(sic) status? I say,

>make love, not war! :9

 

Getting fucked by Derek, it's hard to tell the difference. I think he works out more natural aggression on an ass than he does at the gym. }(

[+ Ace]

Hey Guys;

I KNOW this will sound like a crazy fetish, BUT, it's a HUGE turn on for me if the guy is married or has a boyfriend...(Especially if he has a ring on his finger!!)....

 

All the best;

Ace

http://www.rentboy.com/ACEROCKSTARFANT

http://www.daddysreviews.com/review.php?who=ace_vegas

[Guest TorontoJared]

I really don't have a problem with someone that is married. While I'm sure that I'd have a different opinion were I the wife, I really don't think that it is a problem when being hired. Sometimes the client will talk about his wife (especially if it's a longer appointment). Sometimes the wife knows that he likes guys. Sometimes the wife really doesn't do sex anymore and thus he's exploring other options. Whatever the case may be, I just provide the best time possible and enjoy giving and receiving pleasure. I see no reason to make an issue between he and I over this. The client has obviously thought it out, decided that this is what he wants to do, and hired you. How he runs his marriage is really not my place. If he wants to discuss aspects of his marriage and life back home that's fine. (Actually, I really enjoy getting to know a client. For me, it makes it a lot more personal and nice having sex with someone who you enjoy talking with too.) If I find out he's married I'm not going to judge him for it. I don't know the circumstances surrounding his choices. Anyway, that is my thoughts on the subject.

[Guest zipperzone]

>To answer the question "Do I think it's immoral?" I have to

>wonder if the wife is being hurt, and if it's needlessly.

 

I would think that the vast majority of married men who hire male escorts, do it without their wives knowledge. Therefor she is probably not being hurt.

 

>I also remember this session with a guy and his girlfriend

>where the girlfriend really liked to watch guys having sex.

>I'd love to tell just a bit more about it, but because of

>discretion I choose not to.

 

I'm all for discretion but in this case I don't understand the problem. We would have no way of knowing the people involved so why not tell us more. A little titillation never hurt.

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

Honesty in conjunction with sex/sexuality is often a societal

 

conundrum.

 

Outside of certain forward thinking well adjusted European societies

 

sex rules/roles are rigidly defined. If you are not 100% hetrosexual

 

(after all sex is ONLY for procreation - See Old/New Testament/Koran)

 

then societal mores impinge upon all areas of your life i.e., job,

 

medical care, worship, education, housing, public accomodation etc.

 

 

So if you are honest about your Non-Hetrosexual desires you are apt

 

to suffer societal wrath for your heinous deviance.

 

 

Whereas in reality, empirical research indicates that there is a

 

human sexuality scale where 10% of people identify themselves as

 

totally Hetrosexual, 10% totally homosexual and the other 80%

 

somewhere in between (See Rev., Dr. William Staton, Phd in Human

 

Sexuality, MA Theology - University of Pennsylvania and Widener

 

University)

 

 

This was the long way of saying that about 80% of us are dishonest

 

about sex and sexuality in order to avoid the stigma and pain

 

inflicted by our puritanical, religious based societal and

 

governmental holier-than-thou, hypocritical institutions of

 

social control.

 

 

To expand on Anton's definition of Liberty,

 

Liberty is the freedom to be who you truly are and be fully accepted

 

into the tapestry of society and enjoy all the rights and

 

responsibilities that are available.

 

 

So Married, Gay, Bi, Straight, Tri-Sexual, Pan-Sexual, Wiccan, or

 

whatever if the Client wants to talk about his marriage and the

 

Escort is not disturbed - Then Live Love Laugh and Lick!

[ariadne1880]

Some very interesting comments here, many of them quite thoughtful and though out.

 

I was married for 18 years. I got divorced earlier this year. I started hiring guys about a year ago, long after our marriage was in trouble and after the divorce filing.

 

I almost always talk about my wife or ex-wife (and I still wear my wedding ring -- don't ask!) when I am with an escort. It helps make the session more relaxing and comfortable for me.

 

I can understand what the one client said about telling the escort how good-looking he was over and over. I can relate to that. Most of my friends are straight and don't have a clue what my feelings are toward men. I have just a couple of gay friends who I can be open to and talk about guys to so having an escort to do that with is refreshing and helpful to me, at least.

 

Yes, I know it is 2007 and I should just be open but I've lived 45 plus years as a straight man and it's just too exhausting to start completely over in that way. I know most wouldn't understand that.

 

But that's why I hire escorts. It's a fantasy and provides a completely open experience on every level which is something that I cannot -- or choose not -- to have in my everyday life.

 

Mark

[ariadne1880]

Some very interesting comments here, many of them quite thoughtful and though out.

 

I was married for 18 years. I got divorced earlier this year. I started hiring guys about a year ago, long after our marriage was in trouble and after the divorce filing.

 

I almost always talk about my wife or ex-wife (and I still wear my wedding ring -- don't ask!) when I am with an escort. It helps make the session more relaxing and comfortable for me.

 

I can understand what the one client said about telling the escort how good-looking he was over and over. I can relate to that. Most of my friends are straight and don't have a clue what my feelings are toward men. I have just a couple of gay friends who I can be open to and talk about guys to so having an escort to do that with is refreshing and helpful to me, at least.

 

Yes, I know it is 2007 and I should just be open but I've lived 45 plus years as a straight man and it's just too exhausting to start completely over in that way. I know most wouldn't understand that.

 

But that's why I hire escorts. It's a fantasy and provides a completely open experience on every level which is something that I cannot -- or choose not -- to have in my everyday life.

 

Mark

[Guest zipperzone]

>Most of my friends are straight and don't have a clue

>what my feelings are toward men.

 

You might be surprised to find out that if you were to come out to some of them, they perhaps wouldn't be all that surprised.

 

>But that's why I hire escorts. It's a fantasy and provides a

>completely open experience on every level which is something

>that I cannot -- or choose not -- to have in my everyday

>life.

 

You sound if you are relativly new to the gay scene. You might find out in time as you grow more accepting as to what your sexuality really is, the thought of coming out to friends is not all that frightening. If a person is your "friend" when he/she assumes you're straight, and becomes less of one when they find out your gay, you really have to question whether they were really a friend in the first place.

 

Regardless, you should never feel pressured to reveal yourself. If one day you feel comfortable with it, you will do so. Otherwise, you shouldn't. But I can say from experience, my life got appreciably better after I came out.

[ariadne1880]

I appreciate all the advice. Believe me, it's something I have been thinking about for longer than I care to think about.

 

But, for me, the bottom line is .... I lost enough friends in my divorce and I'm certainly not ready to risk anything like that again.

 

And I don't think it's as simple as "if they don't accept you, you have to question whether they were friends in the first place."

 

I try to to put my self in the other person's shoes and look at it from their perspective. They might say "you've been lying to me -- about something fundamental -- for 47 years." They have a point. Would you be friends with someone who lied to you -- in big and small ways -- for 47 years about something some important to their identity? It's certainly food for thought.

 

Anyway, I choose to keep things the way they are. I have a few gay friends who I am open to and talk freely with and the rest just stays the way it is.

 

I admire those who were able -- at whatever age but especially the young age -- to figure this all out long ago and just be themselves. But I wanted something else in 1978 and so went down a different road. If I could do it over again would I make that choice? Probably not. But I did. And now I must deal with the consequences as best I can.

 

As for continuing to live a "straight" life. I'm not sure how "straight" it is these days. I'm divorced, not dating anyone, not looking, just living. Sexuality is something I've never discussed with people/friends in general anyway. Anyone I meet new, is free to assume whatever they wish. It's not something I would discuss anyway.

 

Just continuing on the journey!

 

Mark

[+ newatthis]

>But, for me, the bottom line is .... I lost enough friends in

>my divorce and I'm certainly not ready to risk anything like

>that again.

 

Mark, Anton --

 

I would relate this to divorce in a different way. When I got divorced I didn't lose any friends, and my relationships with some got much better once my wife was out of the picture. (To be clear here, most of those friends were and are married.)

 

Nevertheless, the change in my life and consequent adjustment in the nature of my relationships with friends caused a lot of emotional dislocation and took a lot of effort over several years -- and this is distinct from the divorce itself, or what led up to it. I see this as inevitable in any major life change.

 

At this point, I would need a very powerful motivator to go through that kind of readjustment in what are close, comfortable, and fulfilling friendships. Keeping the male/male side of my life separate is a small price to pay.

 

What kind of motivator might lead me to a different conclusion? I can think of only one -- finding myself involved in a deep and serious male/male relationship that I wanted/needed to share with those close to me.

 

--new

[+ newatthis]

>When I came out I was doing an engineering study, and all the

>other students were guys. I made a sport out of it to

>sometimes kiss a straight guy right on the lips.

 

My recollection is that Anton really likes to surprise guys by kissing them straight on the lips at unexpected moments. :-) :-)

[ariadne1880]

I can completely relate to what "newatthis" said. That's exactly how I feel about it all.

 

If a man came into my life and I started a committed relationship with that person that would probably be the impetus to my breaking free of all of this and risking all.

 

I don't expect that to happen but you never know and I'd have to be prepared for that.

 

Mark.

[ariadne1880]

I understand what you are saying, Anton, but I am honest enough with myself to know that I have been lying and, yes, not completely telling the truth -- to me -- is the same thing as lying.

 

I knew before I married what my feelings were about men vs. women. Yes, during the 18 year marriage I stayed loyal and never had a relationship or anything other than a close friendship with another man. It was my wife's affair that was the beginning of the end of our marriage. If not for that, I'd probably still be married.

 

But "pretending" all these years that I had no interest in men and going so far as when I was with my straight male friends from college and elsewhere in making gay jokes and making fun of gay men -- that is lying! I'm not happy I did that.

 

But I could see, from their perspective, how they would see me as having been a fundamentally dishonest person my entire life and I wouldn't blame them one bit.

 

So that's my catch-22.

 

Best,

Mark

[Guest zipperzone]

>But "pretending" all these years that I had no interest in men

>and going so far as when I was with my straight male friends

>from college and elsewhere in making gay jokes and making fun

>of gay men -- that is lying! I'm not happy I did that.

 

No, I'm sure you're not. But being honest enough to now admit that you did it and regret it shows that you have come a long way in your personal growth.

 

>But I could see, from their perspective, how they would see me

>as having been a fundamentally dishonest person my entire life

>and I wouldn't blame them one bit.

 

Give them a bit more credit than that. Is it not possible that they would understand that the reason you never revealed your true self is due in large part to the discrimination that is rife in America and of which some of them may be guilty.

 

I don't know how many friends you are talking about. Most people don't have a lot of friends - acquaintances yes - but friends, probably not that many. Lets say you have 20 friends and by telling them you loose half of them. That still leaves you with 10 who you will then know are real true friends. Even if the numbers are not that high, 50% is still not a bad number to have.

 

>So that's my catch-22.

 

Is it really, or is saying it is a catch-22 just a way of justifying to yourself your inaction. It can become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

I say all this, not to convince you to out yourself, but to encourage you to rethink a position that may be unnecessary.