what to say when you're not sure what you want?

[+ newatthis]

More than once escorts have expressed sentiments similar to what Erik M wrote today:

 

>I like a client who can accurately convey what he wants.

 

Juan V, in particular, recently posted an eloquent explanation of why this is important to a good encounter.

 

There are, however, clients who don't have much experience, don't really know yet what they like and/or want, and are looking for the escort to guide them or take them further. They are open to trying – and perhaps eager to experiment with – lots of things, but have no clear idea of how they’ll react. Perhaps what they’re most interested in is having the escort orchestrate the encounter for them so it leads them to new levels of intensity or passion that they haven’t experienced.

 

How would you, as an escort, want such a client to answer the question “what are you looking for”?

[Boston Guy]

As a client, I'd like to offer the opinion that what you've written above is a pretty darned good way for someone who isn't sure what he wants to say so. It sounds to me like a good place for a conversation to begin.

 

BG

[RomeTyson]

As an escort, when a guy was inexperienced and wasn't sure about what he wanted to do, I just asked him what he fantasized about, and what he would feel comfortable with during exploration. Usually such situations work out really well, unless there are some psychological issues lurking in the background. Whether there are some issues or not, I think the best way to handle such a situation is to let the inexperienced feel like the situation is always under their control (regardless of whether they are submissive or dominant) with as little expression of judgement as possible. Two pennies dropped! :9

[ErikMcAlister]

>There are, however, clients who don't have much experience,

>don't really know yet what they like and/or want, and are

>looking for the escort to guide them or take them further.

>They are open to trying – and perhaps eager to experiment with

>– lots of things, but have no clear idea of how they’ll react.

> Perhaps what they’re most interested in is having the escort

>orchestrate the encounter for them so it leads them to new

>levels of intensity or passion that they haven’t experienced.

>

>How would you, as an escort, want such a client to answer the

>question “what are you looking for”?

 

Such a client should cut & paste your comments into the email or read them over the phone to me. That would work nicely.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey man,

 

Telling your escort that you are new to this, that you are in a stage in which you are experimenting (and that you are hiring him to lead you and help you in this process) is really good. Boston Guy is right on target saying that this part is great.

 

But Rome Tyson said something really important; I would ask what is it that you normally fantasyze about. Not to necessarily enact your fantasies, if you are not ready for that, but to understand a bit what turns you on. Knowing that will allow me to build a "Menu" of activities that might suit your needs better.

 

I understand that there might be the shy one that really has no clue, or no ways to word his desires, and in that case, I would just go with an open mind and a ready body to explore in every possible way. But -specially when becoming comfortable with your bodie's urges- phrasing what you want is an important step to have a fulfilled sexual life.

 

The goal is to feel comfortable.

 

With whatever you might have to say.

 

(even if all you can say is: "I really don't know what to say")

[JT Brooklyn]

IMHO..Juan's Restaurant has the "Best Menu" in Town..Very Tastey indeed! Sorry No Fish(Baccalao).. LOL :+

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Fantasy vs. Reality

 

Asking someone about their fantasies can be a good starting point, but unfortunately some fantasies are (and always should remain) in the realm of fantasy and not reality. Some men may fantasize about a number of things which they either are not prepared to nor truly wish to experience in person. So, the most important thing (besides good communication, as I always say and as other escorts and clients have offered on this thread) is to create both a trusting and comfortable environment. Sometimes, this may take time, which some clients may not have in their budget, but often it can be established with good rapport, again good communication and, at least in my opinion most importantly, patience, care and courtesy.