Best Way to End a Session?

[nice guy]

If a session is not going well, what is the best way to end it in a fair and nice way to the escort? Is it fine to say "sorry, but this is not working out"? What about the payment? I assume that if a session is to be cut short, it should be done almost immediately or else full payment is required. That being the case, should cab fare or something still be offered to the escort? I want to be completely fair (and nice) to an escort if this happens to me again.

 

How about if I book a longer session, say 4 hours, or an overnight with an escort I've not yet met? Let's say that we do have a good time, but at one hour, I think that it has been sufficient time and I'd like to cut the session short. (Btw, I've not done this yet, but am just inquiring for a future 4 hour session I have lined up in a few weeks). I'm concerned that stopping it at one hour (and expecting to pay only for one hour) would screw up the escort's alternative plans, particularly if we'd booked an all-nighter. Can this be done or is the client expected to pay for the full booked time, or some amount in-between?

 

Thanks!

[Johninpdx]

If you believe that a session is not going well, please say so as soon as possible. Also, please let your escort know what he can do differently to improve the session for you. Sometimes it's just a matter of changing positions, rooms, or the amount of pressure of your touch. Other times there may be no chemistry between the escort and you. Don't try to force it, but do speak up.

 

As for payment, I can only speak for myself. If you are not happy within the first 20 minutes, for any reason, you may cancel the appointment with no payment. For longer sessions, I stretch the time a little.

 

Communication is everything.

 

Hope this helps.

[Guest RandyRon]

I guess I have been very fortunate as I have never wanted to end a session early. The connection with each escort has been different, ranging from UNBELIEVABLE to Ok but nothing so bad that I wanted to throw in the towel. However, if he's not as advertised or something tells you it won't work when you first meet or early in the session, I would expect to call it quits without a payment (although I would probably at least pay cab fare).

 

I only book longer sessions with escorts that I've been with previously. However, if I had taken the chance and booked a longer session with a new guy I would chalk it up and pay the full fare. Maybe the best way to handle it would be to discuss the possibility with the escort before making the booking and see how he would handle it.

[woodlawn]

> Maybe the best way to handle it would be to

>discuss the possibility with the escort before making the

>booking and see how he would handle it.

 

Excellent point. So often clients who post here are under the impression that they are "required" (by whom?) to pay a cancellation fee if they are not satisfied with the escort for some reason and don't wish to continue, and escorts who post here are under the impression that they are "entitled" (by what?) to charge such a fee even if it was never discussed with the client beforehand. The fact is that there are no universal rules or standards governing this business, so the "rules" for each transaction depend entirely on what the parties agree. If the issue of a cancellation fee is of concern to you, ask the escort what he expects before you make the appointment. If he's a sensible, levelheaded sort he should have no problem discussing this with you. If he has a problem discussing it, that's a good indication you should look elsewhere.

 

Trying to use analogies from the world of legitimate business can be problematic. There are service providers of various kinds who charge a client nothing if he finds the service unsatisfactory for any reason. There are others who require full payment if services are ordered and the client cancels even before any services have been provided. Where there has been no prior agreement between the parties on this issue, the law in most states is that if an agreement for services is canceled when some but not all of the service has been provided, that portion of the service that has been provided should be paid for unless the quality of the service clearly does not meet commonly accepted standards. Hope that helps.

[Guest EscortNsf]

Clearly if the escort materially misrepresented himself, pay nothing. But that call needs to be made in the first few minutes; if it’s not material enough to be noticed off the bat, it’s not material enough to deny payment.

 

Beyond that, if a session isn’t going well, try to remedy it in conjunction with the escort. But to cut out after, say, 20 minutes and expect to only pay cab fare isn’t right. For one thing, that system is ripe for abuse. A lot of my clients simply want 20 minute appointments (and spend their days wondering what those other guys *do* with the escort the other 40). If he were to book me, get his full satisfaction, and then try to claim a lack of connection and get off for just cab fare, I’d be mighty upset.

 

Perhaps twenty percent of the calls I get are guys just stroking their cocks with no intention of ever booking—many times calling at 2 am. If this crowd learned they could also meet in person for 10 minutes then send the escort away and jack off afterwards on the experience, they would. And that’s why we can’t settle on merely cab fare. I’m sure the original poster would never do such a thing, but this is another example of how the bad eggs are going to ruin it for everyone.

 

I would be comfortable with half the agreed upon price and a quick exit. Beyond that, I don’t think we can encourage window shopping, causing the escort to drive out to the perspective client just to try his luck and find out he bears the sole risk of it not being a connection. For one thing, the client has full access to the escort’s details, and therefore assumes more of the risk of there not being a connection—he made the choice. And much of what takes the mood away is out of the escort’s control: the client tried some pot to relax himself before the appointment, his cat yacked right before the escort arrived, that bitch upstairs is playing Evita again.

 

Certainly for a longer session, one cannot simply presume to escape with a token payment. If you’re not sure of the chemistry, simply don’t book for overnight. Or try a one-hour get together the night before, then book an overnighter. But to fill an escort’s schedule and then leave him holding the bag would not be cool.

[woodlawn]

>Clearly if the escort materially misrepresented himself, pay

>nothing. But that call needs to be made in the first few

>minutes; if it’s not material enough to be noticed off the

>bat, it’s not material enough to deny payment.

 

But in order to allow the client to "make the call" within the first few minutes of the appointment, wouldn't the escort have to get naked the moment he gets in the door? Is that what you normally do?

[Guest EscortNsf]

>But in order to allow the client to "make the call" within the

>first few minutes of the appointment, wouldn't the escort have

>to get naked the moment he gets in the door? Is that what you

>normally do?

 

 

Unless he's wearing an overcoat, you can tell whether he's hunky or pudgy or whatnot. But sure, if upon the dropping of drawers you feel short-changed (and this needs to be a clear instance of false advertising, not simply wishful expectations), call him on it and quickly end it and no cost. Again, this decision needs to come quickly after the discovery phase.

[woodlawn]

>Unless he's wearing an overcoat, you can tell whether he's

>hunky or pudgy or whatnot.

 

Given the baggy fashions younger men wear these days, I don't think that's true. I wish it were.

 

 

> But sure, if upon the dropping of

>drawers you feel short-changed (and this needs to be a clear

>instance of false advertising, not simply wishful

>expectations), call him on it and quickly end it and no cost.

>Again, this decision needs to come quickly after the discovery

>phase.

 

Sounds reasonable to me.

[nice guy]

Great suggestions. If everyone would just treat each other as they would want to be treated if roles were reversed, we'd have no problem. But rules are typically put in place to dissuade those who are apt to abuse something. Even though I'm a client, I tend to think more like an escort, and I think that clients should not be given too much range to "taste test" an escort before doing more. If an escort has a good website and/or pictures sent are clear, then most clients should be getting exactly the type of physique/look they asked for. Of course, if they don't look anything like their pictures, let them go.

 

Otherwise, lack of chemistry....upon further thinking....maybe that is not really sufficient to end a session quickly. If that is the only reason, I would think the session would have to go on for more than a few minutes because the initial uncomfortableness has to subside in all sessions before you can usually see if there is chemistry. At that point, if things are not going as hoped, I tell the escort in no uncertain terms what I'd like him to do, and I get more involved myself to make it a good enough session.

 

The vast majority of my sessions have been great. But at the beginning, before I knew about this site, I had a couple escorts that were awful and I was too timid to protest. Now I know better. I have set up a 4 hour session soon and I will take your advice and ask him now what would happen if we don't intially hit it off...meaning can I convert it to an hour session, etc. If he balks at that question, I guess I should cancel the session.

 

Thanks guys! I am so glad to have come upon this site and ultimately met so many good-looking, sexually dynamic and really nice guys. Although I spend more money here than maybe I should, I look at it this way -- I save money/time that I otherwise would have used in cruising the bars, and where half the time the sexual experiences leave a lot to be desired.

[pierrot]

There is another major, and frequent, problem which is the escort's inability to get hard. This has happened a few times with escorts I've hired in some degree or another. (By which I mean a couple of guys who got it up for a short while, then went hopelessly limp). It's awkward for both client and escort, but I don't think a client should be expected to pay if the escort can't perform properly. Most often, it's caused by escorts overscheduling clients, which is essentially dishonest in my view. But sometimes, of course, it's some other factor.

[Guest EscortNsf]

>There is another major, and frequent, problem which is the

>escort's inability to get hard. This has happened a few times

>with escorts I've hired in some degree or another. (By which I

>mean a couple of guys who got it up for a short while, then

>went hopelessly limp). It's awkward for both client and

>escort, but I don't think a client should be expected to pay

>if the escort can't perform properly. Most often, it's caused

>by escorts overscheduling clients, which is essentially

>dishonest in my view. But sometimes, of course, it's some

>other factor.

 

(Forgive me for posting the same response to multiple threads.)

 

There is a lot of discussion in several threads on this board about escorts not being able to get hard. It's never been an issue for me, but given the amount of discussion, it must at least somewhat be endemic.

 

I have one client who hands me half a Viagra the moment I step through his door. I've never had a hard-on issue with him, so I do not think this is the result of any past (non)performance, but simply a standard practice for him. Given the amount of discussion around this issue, I recommend this practice to those concerned. You're already spending X hundreds of dollars for the session; splurge the extra five bucks for the pill and relieve your concerns if nothing else.

[BobbyThompson]

I think in order for anyone to really discuss your topic question you have to say what is causing the session to not go well. If the escort comes to your door as he has described himself and is polite with you, what is the problem? You're hiring someone you have never met and probably will never see again. Your screening process has been entirely upon base terms of physical description. If they show up as described, you got what you asked for. I suggest match.com for a more comprehensive search. I think they guarantee a perfect match.

 

I really question the logic behind the person who said that if upon the first 20 minutes you are not satisfied, you can cancel without any payment. If an escort misrepresents himself or is impolite with you, that's one thing, but if you just don't like him, sorry. That's a possibility when you make an arrangement with a complete stranger. A good escort should be able to get along with a lab rat, but this is a business designed for the fleeting moment. Once again, it's hard to address this with a vague "if the session isn't going well."

 

If a client doesn't research his escort well enough or does not have the confidence in his decision, he should not be allowed to flakily sample his way through a free meal. Woodlawn, no, an escort doesn't get naked in the first few moments but if one doesn't misrepresent himself it should not matter at what point in the appointment he may or MAY NOT get naked. I guess if an escort refuses to accept the possibility of a cancellation fee then they may or may not be of spurious motives, but frankly I would completely disregard anyone mentioning such a thing to me. The flipside of your arguement that a levelheaded escort will discuss cancellation is that the client expects to cancel. I don't have time for people like that.

 

Sprint charges me for a full minute when I make a 10-second phone call, even if the party I'm calling doesn't answer and I'm slightly disappointed. Sprint still provided exactly the service they told me they would.

 

/rant over.

[nice guy]

I think I agree with you that a client should not be able to "sample" an escort, then after 10 or more minutes, ask him to leave and not pay. Like one person said, if that became policy, many guys would start doing that. As long as the person looks as promised and isn't a total jackoff or something, we got what we ordered and now we should enjoy it. For longer sessions is really more to my question -- if a 4 hour session was booked and after an hour, if I were to realize it was enough, would I be expected to pay for all 4 hours if I cancelled. I'm not sure what is fair because the escort may have foregone other appointments to clear his schedule for me. I'll bring up that possibility with the escort I have scheduled. Thanks

[HotdadENYC]

Bobby, I think this is one of the better responses I've seen lately and I agree with the points you make.

 

Clients sometimes don't do enough research, or, as well documented on this site, sometimes ignore the advice and input of others (think Anthony Holloway or Travis NYC). Anyone booking an appointment for 4 hours or more, should have, at the very least, verified the accuracy of the pictures and have engaged in a phone conversation during which the do's and don'ts are discussed.

 

I don't think there needs to be a trade-off between a client's expectations and an escort's commitment to perform as long as there is open communication beforehand.

 

Specifically, though, to the point of this thread, if "nice guy" is insistent on booking a 4 hour session, he should be prepared to pay the amount, even if it becomes apparent (after an hour, e.g.) that additional time might be fruitless. If "nice guy" is unsure, he should just book an hour. If he has serious reservations, then perhaps he shouldn't book at all.

 

I think discussing the possibility of a 4 hour session and bringing up the possibility of ending it prematurely is tacky. If I were an escort and that topic came up, I think my bullshit meter would hit the red zone pretty quickly.

 

Finally, despite best intentions, sometimes things don't work out the way we planned. But that should be apparent as close to the beginning of the session as possible (not 20 minutes into it). In that case, in my opinion, I think the offer of travel fare and a partial fee is the gentlemanly thing to do. But I emphasize that for short term arrangements; longer sessions involve commitments from both parties and should be adhered to.

 

hd NYC

[woodlawn]

>Woodlawn, no, an escort doesn't get naked in the first few

>moments but if one doesn't misrepresent himself it should not

>matter at what point in the appointment he may or MAY NOT get

>naked.

 

There is no way a client can know whether the escort misrepresented himself in certain important respects until the client sees the escort in person in the buff. If you doubt it, check out the latest thread on Travis #2 in the Deli section. Are you saying that when that happens if the client sees that the escort does NOT match his pictures or description, the client should still pay? Why?

 

 

>I guess if an escort refuses to accept the possibility

>of a cancellation fee then they may or may not be of spurious

>motives, but frankly I would completely disregard anyone

>mentioning such a thing to me. The flipside of your arguement

>that a levelheaded escort will discuss cancellation is that

>the client expects to cancel. I don't have time for people

>like that.

 

The vast majority of all commercial litigation in America happens because when the parties first make an agreement to do business with each other, they don't focus on what their rights and responsbilities will be if something goes wrong down the road; when something goes wrong, they find themselves called on to honor an obligation they didn't anticipate -- like paying a cancellation fee -- and they refuse to accept it. It's pretty normal for two parties making a deal to pay more attention to the benefits they will receive if all goes well and less attention to what will happen if things do not go well -- after all, no one makes a deal with the expectation that it won't work out. But if they don't pay a certain amount of attention to the other contingencies, then the chances of a dispute are greatly increased. If you think a cancellation fee is something that shouldn't be mentioned to a customer and the customer wants to cancel after you've arrived, what then? You tell him he has to pay a fee, he asks why you didn't mention that up front, and what do you say? How do you explain to him that he is obligated to do something he never agreed to do?

 

I think people should honor the agreements they make. I don't think it's fair that one party to an agreement should have the power to impose on the other a fee or other obligation that was never agreed to.

 

>Sprint charges me for a full minute when I make a 10-second

>phone call, even if the party I'm calling doesn't answer and

>I'm slightly disappointed. Sprint still provided exactly the

>service they told me they would.

 

"Exactly the service they told me they would." That's the point. Sprint tells you (in writing) before you enter into an agreement with them exactly what you will be required to pay in every eventuality. If you find any of their fees or procedures unacceptable, you need not enter into the agreement. If you do enter into the agreement, you can't complain later on that they want you to pay fees that you weren't told about before you signed. If they had the same attitude toward customers that you do, on the other hand, they would blow off anyone who asked whether they impose a cancellation fee if one wants to cancel a contract before its expiration date (they do impose such a fee). They'd just say "If you're asking that, you must expect to cancel, and we don't have time for people like that."

[noviceny]

My choices for best way to end a session :

 

1) Ejaculation

 

2) Tell the escort that his time is up and if he wants to cum, he should do so right away

 

3) Start drooling and grunting...then rub your crotch against him.

[HotdadENYC]

I think this is a great topic and I believe that this is definitely the right forum for it, as it engages conversation between clients and escorts, both of whom can benefit from the input. It has certainly made me more aware.

 

Bobby Thompson (as I've mentioned) and Woodlawn (as I now read) both make excellent points, from two different perspectives.

 

I still believe that in booking a 4 hour or so session that as much research as possible, upfront, should help to mitigate any misunderstanding, but if the client wants to end the session earlier than agreed upon, then the client should pay up as promised. This is NOT meant to imply, by the way, that the client should still pay if the escort does something completely unconscionable or engages in despicable personal habits that were NOT apparent during prior discussion.

 

On the other hand, I don't have a problem discussing a cancellation option for a short term (1-2 hour) appointment, but I would like to ask Woodlawn and others (esp escorts) for appropriate and sensitive ways to bring this up.

 

Several years ago, I hired an escort that I spoke with on the phone and he verified that his web pics were accurate. When he showed up, it was apparent to me that he had somehow aged considerably between the time we hung up on the phone and he showed up at my door. In less than five minutes, I made up my mind that it wasn't going to work and I politely told him so. I answered, when asked why not, that I prefered much younger guys, as I had made quite clear during our prior conversation. I then offered $60 for cab fare and inconvenience and it ended at that.

 

There was, as I remember, no secret mathematical formula to the $60; its what I felt was appropriate at the time. And angry and disappointed as I was, I didn't belabor the obvious lack of integrity inherent in posting outdated pics and claiming that they are current. I should have asked in what year they were current.

 

(My apologies to the community for not writing a review at that time; other than perhaps laziness, I don't have a plausible excuse. As far as I can tell, Brad is no longer escorting or advertising.)

 

Several escort agencies (Campus, e.g.) have a clearly posted cancellation policy. A couple of the better massage therapists state that if you are not happy with their work within 10 mins, you can leave without paying a fee.

 

I am sure there is no one right solution for every situation, but I am looking forward to more input on this subject.

 

Regards,

hd NYC

[Guest EscortNsf]

Another part of the problem is that what the escort is selling here is an illusion of sexual intimacy. Maybe the folks who post on this board are sophisticated enough to know that's bullshit, but the average client is not. He is hiring someone to come over and, for an hour at least, make him feel special. Which is why we say the escort is selling his time and nothing more, and which is why it'd be very difficult to discuss opt-out clauses upfront. Real intimate to discuss how much to pay should it not work out, eh? It's been my experience that most new callers don't like discussing the financial arrangement at all over the phone, and to bring up a myriad of possibilities and their associated costs would ruin the experience from the get go.

[woodlawn]

>On the other hand, I don't have a problem discussing a

>cancellation option for a short term (1-2 hour) appointment,

>but I would like to ask Woodlawn and others (esp escorts) for

>appropriate and sensitive ways to bring this up.

 

I'm not sure if there is a "sensitive" way to ask an escort if he charges a cancellation fee. And I don't know why an escort would have a problem with a client who simply asks, "Do you have a cancellation fee if I cancel the session after you arrive for any reason?" An escort is running a business. Why would he find it insulting to be asked a question about his business practices? As your post (among many, many others) indicates, there is a problem in this business with escorts who don't tell the truth about their age and appearance. This problem was not created by clients, and I see no reason for an escort to be angry at a client who asks about it.

 

I don't have a problem with the concept of a cancellation fee. I do have a problem with any service provider who tries to introduce new conditions into our agreement that he didn't tell me about before we made the agreement. That goes for car rental agencies, cell phone service providers, hotels, airlines and anyone else in the business of selling services. If a hotel quoted you a price of $150.00 per night including fees and taxes before you booked the room, and at the end of your stay you got a bill showing an "energy surcharge" of an additional $25.00 per night, how would you react? I know people who have had that problem, and they didn't want to pay. Why should one party to a contract have the right to impose conditions that the other party never agreed to?

 

>Several escort agencies (Campus, e.g.) have a clearly posted

>cancellation policy.

 

An agency I have used has a policy that when the escort shows up, no matter how long the session is supposed to be if the client is not satisfied for any reason whatsoever the client is free to terminate the appointment at no charge before they go any further. Given the nakedness issue I don't think this policy completely solves the problem, but since the agency has told me about the policy beforehand at least I have the choice of accepting it as part of our agreement or going elsewhere. That's fair.

[woodlawn]

> Real intimate to discuss how

>much to pay should it not work out, eh? It's been my

>experience that most new callers don't like discussing the

>financial arrangement at all over the phone, and to bring up a

>myriad of possibilities and their associated costs would ruin

>the experience from the get go.

 

As I and another poster mentioned above, two agencies that have been in this business for years (he mentioned Campus, the one I referred to is Premier) tell clients up front about their cancellation policies, and this doesn't seem to scare everyone away. In addition, I have seen plenty of individual escort ads stating "If you find I'm not as advertised when I show up, there's no charge," or words to that effect. So obviously your opinion is not unanimous among sellers in this business.

[Guest EscortNsf]

putting your mouth where your mouth is

 

>I'm not sure if there is a "sensitive" way to ask an escort if

>he charges a cancellation fee. And I don't know why an escort

>would have a problem with a client who simply asks, "Do you

>have a cancellation fee if I cancel the session after you

>arrive for any reason?" An escort is running a business. Why

>would he find it insulting to be asked a question about his

>business practices?

 

To reiterate an earlier post, if a prospective client made it clear to me that he was considering not keeping the booking at the very time he was making it, I would politely tell him I'm not interested. This is against the backdrop that perhaps twenty percent of my calls are guys simply jacking off while talking to me, asking if I'd meet them for $20 rather than my usual $200, or simply want to hook up for free sometime. Yes, it would be great if we could agree on an industry norm for cancellations on the spot; the client who brings it up at the time of booking sets of my bullshit meter.

 

The problem is not the two minutes I spent at his door, but that I've cancelled plans with friends, forgone another booking, and spent 45 minutes or so to make myself presentable and get there.

 

A lot of newbie clients like calling and chatting with the boys, but chicken out when asked to put their mouth where their mouth is. For me to bear the risk that he's just a jacker-off isn't appropriate.

 

If you order the ribs but once the meals come out decide your friend's pasta looks better, you don't ask the server to take your plate back and swap it out. You return the ribs only when they're not as advertised. If they're completely up to snuff but not your favorite, you eat them and remember to order differently next time.

[Guest EscortNsf]

>As I and another poster mentioned above, two agencies that

>have been in this business for years (he mentioned Campus, the

>one I referred to is Premier) tell clients up front about

>their cancellation policies, and this doesn't seem to scare

>everyone away. In addition, I have seen plenty of individual

>escort ads stating "If you find I'm not as advertised when I

>show up, there's no charge," or words to that effect. So

>obviously your opinion is not unanimous among sellers in this

>business.

 

Which makes it a good thing that I don't claim to represent any opinion other than my own.

 

The two examples you site involve either an agency or a website mentioning a cancellation policy; my point was that for the escort himself to bring it up over the phone kills the romance.

[woodlawn]

RE: putting your mouth where your mouth is

 

>To reiterate an earlier post, if a prospective client made it

>clear to me that he was considering not keeping the booking at

>the very time he was making it, I would politely tell him I'm

>not interested.

 

And to reiterate my post #19, there are agencies (quite successful ones) and escorts who don't have a problem dealing with the cancellation issue up front, so I will stick with them and pass up any escort who does have a problem with it.

 

>The problem is not the two minutes I spent at his door, but

>that I've cancelled plans with friends, forgone another

>booking, and spent 45 minutes or so to make myself presentable

>and get there.

 

And what about the time the client has spent arranging everything and the other plans he has cancelled? Is there some reason why the escort's time is of value but the client's is not? What reason would that be?

 

>A lot of newbie clients like calling and chatting with the

>boys, but chicken out when asked to put their mouth where

>their mouth is. For me to bear the risk that he's just a

>jacker-off isn't appropriate.

 

There's nothing unreasonable about that position. The unreasonable part is that you refuse to tell the client about it.

 

>If you order the ribs but once the meals come out decide your

>friend's pasta looks better, you don't ask the server to take

>your plate back and swap it out. You return the ribs only

>when they're not as advertised. If they're completely up to

>snuff but not your favorite, you eat them and remember to

>order differently next time.

 

As you know, there are plenty of businesses whose policy is that if the customer is not satisfied for any reason there is no charge. I don't think that would be the case if such a policy led straight to bankruptcy. If it doesn't work for you, don't do it. Obviously others have found a way to make it work.

[Guest EscortNsf]

RE: putting your mouth where your mouth is

 

>And what about the time the client has spent arranging

>everything and the other plans he has cancelled? Is there

>some reason why the escort's time is of value but the client's

>is not? What reason would that be?

 

Umm... the fact that funds are moving from the client to the escort, perhaps? Again, we're saying the client is making the call to cancel where there has been no misrepresentation.

 

>There's nothing unreasonable about that position. The

>unreasonable part is that you refuse to tell the client about

>it.

 

What part of "that destroys the experience" don't you get?

[woodlawn]

>Which makes it a good thing that I don't claim to represent

>any opinion other than my own.

 

I never said you did.

 

>The two examples you site involve either an agency or a

>website mentioning a cancellation policy; my point was that

>for the escort himself to bring it up over the phone kills the

>romance.

 

Maybe so. I don't kid myself into thinking that an escort I've never seen before has feelings for me, so I don't find it a problem. I have negotiated not just cancellation policies but other terms with escorts directly in the past, and the subsequent appointments with them went off just fine. I grant you that not everyone is mature enough to negotiate a business arrangement without letting his emotions intrude. I appreciate those who are.