All alone in the night?

[GlobalTraveller]

I think it's time to do some travelling! BTW: New York is great at this time of the year! :-)

[skins1]

what? who wouldn't want to date you? to bring you home to meet mom? I know i would. I'm only 32 and have never brought someone home to meet mom. would you like to meet my mom? she'd love you. she'd probably say, "how in the hell did you meet someone like that? he's hot!"

[Vincent_Michael]

Meet mom! Oh my god we have a fast relationship, serious though allot of people dont want to date because they have other motives or maybe they are not right for me for sevral reasions.

 

But damn who wants to meet my parrents? Analitical MDs

[VaHawk]

"But damn who wants to meet my parrents? Analitical MDs"

 

That sounds like something that Brenda on Six Feet Under would say.

[Flower]

RE: Alone Again, Naturally

 

>Depressed...I struggle yes but that makes me human and I am

>happy to be depressed at times..how can I be happy with out

>being sad?

 

 

You should read (if you haven't already) the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran-- He writes in his chapter On Joy and Sorrow:

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

 

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

 

How else can it be?

 

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

 

Is it not the cup that holds the wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

 

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

 

***** "

For me growing up (although many say I never have) The Prophet and several others of Gibran's writings were not only inspirational but instructional and helped form some of my life's philosophies. But I particularly enjoyed reading him when I was lonely, not necessarily alone. I often enjoy and in fact need solitude, and often when I need company, it's just a presence I need, not a physical interaction--I can be working on my computer, such as when I'm doing my imaging or preparing for trial and find it very satisfying to have someone in the room, but very disturbing if they talk or interrupt me.

 

As you have expressed, many of your gay peers seem to shun you for the most part due to the fact you have been open with them and told them you are an escort . This seems like sort of a double whammy in that you as a gay man may feel isolated from your straight acquaintances (at least I do except for a very few) and also from gay peers. I think that we all crave to be with people like ourselves, what ever that may be, and to the extent that craving is unfulfilled, we are lonely despite the times we enjoy the solitude. :*

 

Even handsome, goodlooking, beautiful, and hot dosen't make one immune from loneliness. Nice thread, thank you.

[Flower]

>Out of all this I notice there

>normal people not anything special and I kinda scratch my head

>wondering what the hell do I have to do to be normal? What is

>it with me that is totaly diffrent?

 

You are normal my friend; just in the minority. It took me way too long and most of my life to know the difference. :*

[Vincent_Michael]

RE: Alone Again, Naturally

 

I am in luck my friends know I am an escort and my father does as well! I am alone now in terms of having a bf however I do know what you mean when you say you don’t want one at times. I often think when I hear of the drama; damn I am sooo lucky to be single! I often think after that and think hey a simple argument sometimes is a good thing as long as it is done right and no low blows.

 

It is important to show your love and affection while you are pissed.

 

I often think how I don’t need to do something with my potential partner but just be with him and spend our time in silence enjoying another and doing the simple things in life.

 

As for a good thread, this is my post on how I feel I wish more would open up as we all feel the same from time to time.

[Vincent_Michael]

I think yes I am a normal Geek! now if I could find a gay Geek.

[Houston Bonfires]

I sometimes forget the reasons that I visit this site most days and then I find a thread like this and wonderful words and emotions from sweet, genuine human beings like Vincent and like Flower. Vincent I hope to spend a weekend with you soon and during some of that time we shall practice Flower's description of quiet togetherness. I think we both will be better for the experience.

 

Flower, thank you for reminding me of Kahlil Gibran. I have not read these precious words since the 60's. I am however a devotee of Joy Gresham (C S Lewis) wife. She wrote and shared many of the same ideas when trying to teach C S Lewis that the sorrow of her impending death had to equal the joy with which they had loved each other. In other words his joy was sorrow unmasked.

 

Thank you for the beautiful day.... You are flower.

[noviceny]

What up Vincent,

 

So many intelligent and warm answers on this post that I am almost afraid to ruin it with my clumsiness. However, just wanted you to know that much of what you say I have heard before from the best and most gentle people that I have met in my life.

 

I am a therapist in NY and work primarily with young adults. The most thoughtful of my clients have expressed the same thoughts and feelings that you have. The one thing that I can tell you is that those people (usually between the ages of 21-28) have grown in to incredible people that have truly made the world a better place. Also, their own love has come back to them many times over. Yes, it did take time...but I cant remember one of them that did not succeed...they were straight and gay people...mostly guys, but some young women too.

 

I am still somewhat young myself (35 yrs) and take great solice that there is a great deal of goodness in this world. HOWEVER, if we dont really search for it and put ourselves in positions where we will be surrounded by it we may just miss it.

[Flower]

>Flower, thank you for reminding me of Kahlil Gibran. I have

>not read these precious words since the 60's. I am however a

>devotee of Joy Gresham (C S Lewis) wife. She wrote and shared

>many of the same ideas when trying to teach C S Lewis that the

>sorrow of her impending death had to equal the joy with which

>they had loved each other. In other words his joy was sorrow

>unmasked.

>

>Thank you for the beautiful day.... You are flower.

 

And thank you for a nice post--I just now saw it, buried amongst these dozens of responses to Michael's original post.

 

Kahil Gibran has been with me since college years, and a reflection of many of my thoughts and feelings--I'll have to check out Joy Gresham, and I appreciate the reference.

[rocky]

RE: Alone Again, Naturally

 

Vincent; don't know you but have had some

email correspondence about getting together

if you get to Philly. But that's not my

point. You really strike me as a sensitive

person and that's really cool. Here I am

a 50 year old who is in the closet still,

does hire individuals (so what's wrong with

that); but also who gets lonely. What do I

do, try to contact my nearest escort (and from

upstate NY that's not easy); feel sorry for my

self, which is easy, or try to move on. I'm

trying to move on..Vincent I hope you look at

life the same way, sometimes you have to move

on..and if you are ever in Upstate NY let me know

or when you are in Philly...best, Rocky..

[Vincent_Michael]

All I can say is thank you!

[Vincent_Michael]

RE: Alone Again, Naturally

 

I can tell you how I look at life, I look at life as a lesion we are here to do nothing but learn and continue to grow and once we are done with that then it is a total shame. I sit here and reflect on so many things each day, I love talking to my friends as I learn just by talking to them.

 

Am I sensitive? I don’t know I think I am just my self and if that is sensitive too then awesome! I used to be a total ass until I had a BF...LOL he taught me who is a real ass and I relised I wanted to be loving and caring no matter what even in a knock out blow fight.

 

So now am I alone? I have been thinking about this as of late, yes I am alone at times but there is some strength to being alone at times I get to masturbate allot! No serious guys I can only hope with me not rushing into anything I find a serious long term partner and in the meantime I can work on whatever needs work on.

[Fit In LA]

Point #1 - If you can talk about your problem and be honest with yourself and others, you'll be OK. It's the basis of all

AA, NA, OA and other recovery programs.

 

Point#2 - I'm not diagnosing you, but seems you have periods of \significant anxiety. Exercise is the best drug around for this condition.

[Vincent_Michael]

Shit im a huge worry wort but thankfully working out and understanding the situations help me from getting to worried