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A DICKumentary for those who like living large


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UK producers are scouting for well-endowed fellas, issuing a casting call for men with preternaturally large penises for a forthcoming documentary.

“We’d like to speak to people about their positive and negative experiences of having a large penis, or being with someone who has one,” reads the casting call, which was posted online by Spun Gold, the producers of the documentary “Too Large To Love.”

This bold new British series will reveal the oft-harsh realities of living with a titanic tallywacker.

“A recent survey found that nearly half of the male population wish they had a bigger penis. So, a bigger penis, a better life, right? Well, not always,” the jumbo johnson appeal read. “A brand new documentary is to discuss the hidden problems of living with a very large penis, how it affects all aspects of life including your sex life, and what help is out there for those in need.”

As such, eligible candidates, which entail phallically-gifted men aged 18 and over of all ethnicities and sexualities, will need to be willing to discuss the subject in a manner that will be appropriate for general adult audiences, Wales Online reported. While nudity will be involved in the production, freeing the willy onscreen is not a requirement for accepted applicants.

Indeed having mammoth manhood apparently isn’t all its cracked up to be. According to Men’s Health, having a supersized schlong comes with a host of disadvantages, from not being able to find condoms that fit to injuring one’s partner during sex.

Not to mention that the size of one’s penis isn’t as big an issue as people think when it comes to the boudoir.

“Compatibility of size is the real barometer,” said relationship coach Deboarah Anapol, Ph.D. “A big penis and a small vagina are not a happy combination. Further, knowing how to use the penis skillfully is more important than size.”

And the battle of the bulge isn’t merely physical: New York’s Jonah Falcon, who claims to have the world’s largest penis with a 13.5-inch behemoth when erect, says he’s sick and tired of being asked to whip it out.

“I’m sick and tired of having people wanting me to measure it in front of them,” the Brooklyn-born actor fumed during a 2021 interview on ITV’s “This Morning.” “I’ve done it 10,000 times — enough already!”

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