Herpes...

[Guest toughboy]

I was recently with an escort for the first time and he later told me that he had herpes but at the time we'd got together he was "between" outbreaks. I was wondering what the risk is of contracting herpes when someone is in this "dormant" period.

 

This leads me to the question of how reponsible escorts are about being up front about their health status with their clients. A friend told me that he contracted syphillis from one of the escorts hewas with--that the escort apparently didn't know that he'd contracted it himself. Aren't sex workers supposed to be tested for such things on a regular basis?

[Guest Merlin]

It would be nice if escorts were regularly tested, but there are no rules or laws what they should do since it is all illegal. I would guess that most escorts get tested for HIV from time to time, but there is no guarantee that they will stop escorting if they are positive or that they will even inform their clients. I would guess very few get tested for syphilis but would probably see a Dr if a sore shows up on their penis. I do not believe there is a test for herpes. The net result is that you must look out for youself because no one else will. Assume every escort (or client) is HIV positive and practise safer sex. Finally look before you leap, i.e. inspect his penis before you put it in your mouth to avoid sores or herpes break outs. But, syphilis can be contracted without any visible sign. Fortunately syphilis can be cured with a shot of anti-biotic.

[Guest LOVEHANDLE27]

Don't count on the HIV testing as well, because I have been with an escort on a regular basis for 6 months and initially he told me he has been tested recently for HIV. And I believed him, well guess what, after the 6th month, he told me that he never had an HIV test since he came to this country and asked me where he could get one for free. I always played safe and have trusted people, but in this case, I cannot risk anymore. I love to play with fire, but I don't want to be burned. One time, a condom I was using broke and that made

me realize what if it was his when he was fucking me? Guess sometimes you do get wake up calls even in the morning when you are awake!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

In the time that i have escorted, i have always been as careful as possible but i also impose self-testing every two months...

 

 

You've heard it before and i'll say it again: TRUST NO ONE when it comes to word-of-mouth STD status. Until they show you a test sheet with those magic words 'NEGATIVE' written on it assume they're HIV+ and approach with extreme caution. Thankfully to this day i have never dealt with an STD and honestly never intend to... With HIV, HPV (1 in 3 gay men), Herpes & Syphillis on the rise, it's tought not to worry about your sexual partner, escort or otherwise.

 

Many times i have clients ask about my STD status (always a good thing) and all i can recommend to other escorts is to BE INFORMED. You can never know enough or too much when it comes to spreading the disease, possible treatment and most importantly... Prevention. Also, if you can, keep a copy of your most recent HIV/STD test results in your glovebox or with you when meeting clients in case they need to know where you stand. You can never be too prepared.

 

 

 

Play safe guys & use your head when you use your head

 

 

 

Warmest Regards,

 

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

[Guest NakedTony]

>...Also, if you can, keep a copy of your most recent HIV/STD test results in your glovebox or with you when meeting clients in case they need to know where you stand. You can never be too prepared.

 

Hey Benjaman,

 

Would you honestly show me an HIV test result with your *real* name on it? I have yet to meet an escort that open and honest.

 

I appreciate your suggestion but don't think it's really practical. In addition, I think it's putting yourself at addition risk for stalkers, wackos, and similar types when they learn this personal information about you. Finally, there is always a window between exposure and detection with a test. By showing a client the test and assuring them you're negative, you could be opening yourself up for lawsuits *if* the client comes down with something (either from you or another source). Even if you can prove in court you were negative at the time of the meeting, it would still be a costly venture to defend yourself in court.

 

I'm all for honest disclosure. But, if I were an escort, you'd never catch me showing those results to clients.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

NakedTony~

 

 

You bet your ass i'd share those results with my clients... If it's your identity you're frightened about then simply block out your last name and xerox the results. Yes, escorts have stalkers & loonies that follow our lives, but it goes with the territory. If you're in the public eye then you reap all the baggage that comes along. For some, that's what makes this business so exhilirating at times: The game of chance that is played with a new client. If you have hangups about your image, character or name being exploited, dragged through the mud or fanatically obsessed over then this isn't the business for you.

 

Dealing with any 'practicality' in this matter... You can never be too practical when it comes to dealing with STD's or HIV. Yes, i realize there is a small grace-period when it comes to testing, but don't discount the fact that some go frequently. Personally, of the MANY escorts i've met with, most tend to cross their fingers, rely on who 'looks' clean and forget about going in for regular testing. That in my opinion is career & personal suicide.... Period.

 

At no time in my initial response did i claim to be '100% disease free' as that would be a blanket statement that simply couldn't be relied on. What i did say was that i do everything within my power to inform and protect my clients from STDs/HIV.

 

As for legal retaliation from a client~ it's unlikely that a former client is going to go in front of a judge and admit to illegal actions in regards to an escort. Personally, if i was an infected client, the last thing i would want to do is take this into the public eye and before a jury...

 

 

 

I'm apologize if this came off as rather blunt, but it's something i'm extremely compassionate about. Having had friends and family who have passed from AIDS, it's something very close to my heart.

 

 

 

Warmest Regards,

 

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

[Guest Love Bubble Butt]

All this talk about showing prospective clients test results, asking escorts or clients their HIV status, etc. really does not assure anything.

 

Number One: There is no such thing as safe sex. Their is only "safer" sex. Each person has to be educated about the risks and decide for himself what risks he's willing to take. If you have sex, there will always be some level of risk. Period.

 

Number Two: Asking a client or escort their STD status doesn't accomplish anything other than to possibly give some naive person a false sense of security. You're engaging in a commercial transaction for sex with a COMPLETE STRANGER! And everyone has different motivations; how do you know they're telling you the truth? If they tell you they're negative, are you then going to let your guard down and have "less safe" sex?

 

Number Three: If an escort or client showed me a slip of paper (whether their name was on it or blocked out), it would NOT alter what I'm willing or not willing to do. How do you know the test results are really theirs? Are you going to ask for a driver's license so that you can compare the name on the license to the name on the piece of paper? And how do you know they haven't been infected since the test? What if they were infected before the test, but enough time had not elapsed for the antibodies to develop and register on the test?

 

Number Four: Many guys who are infected don't know it! For some inexplicable reason, some of these guys interpret "not having been tested" as "not being HIV+."

 

Like others have said, you HAVE TO ASSUME everyone is HIV+ to LOWER THE RISK to yourself. But it is not a guarantee. You can also look for visible sores, but again, this only lowers the risk. There is no guarantee.

 

I agree that it is wrong for someone who has Herpes or is HIV+ to not reveal their status with any sexual partner. But you just can't count on them doing it. I also think it's safe to assume that most of us have already had sex with someone who is HIV+ and/or has herpes without knowing it. About ten years ago, I found out that two different guys I had dated were HIV+. I did not know it at the time. I was freaked out when I first found out, but because I practiced safer sex, I was fortunate that I did not become infected. And looking back, I'm sure there were others.

 

Here's wishing everyone a happy, satisfying, and safe sex life!

[Rick Munroe]

>All this talk about showing prospective clients test results,

>asking escorts or clients their HIV status, etc. really does

>not assure anything.

 

>Asking a client or escort their STD status

>doesn't accomplish anything other than to possibly give some

>naive person a false sense of security.

 

Exactly. It's been said here many times before; we have to always assume the other person is + and always defensively keep our eyes open for signs of other STD's. Relying on a piece of paper or someone's word is as smart as buying a TV from a store just because it's called "Honest Sam's". And as LBB says, just because someone shows you a test result or says they're neg, does that mean you're going to let them bareback you? That's insane!

[VaHawk]

What's all this talk about her peas? I love her peas. The combination of spices used when she cooks her peas make her peas a gourmet's delight!

 

THAT HERPES!!!!

 

Ooops ..... Never mind!

 

:D :D

 

(With sincere apologies to the late, great Gilda)

[Guest Emily Litella]

Forget her peas! What's all this I hear about harpies? I know you fellas hate women but using words like that is just plain mean and chauvinistic! x(

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Radner's humor was truly original...

 

 

Thanks for the laugh VA It's one of those days when i needed one... a rainy, miserable day in San Antonio, but definately great for starting a new book! Thank god my new condo has a fireplace~ now all i need is a bearskin rug and i'll be that-much closer to a Jackie Collins novel

 

 

Warmest Regards,

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Bareback? Who said anything about barebacking?

 

 

You're right Rick~ That IS insanity. I surely agree with what the two of you said above and more or less repeated your sentiments in my last response. We're on the same wavelength, just using different terms...

 

I think we're all in agreement on the pitfalls of being tested, but also agree that it should be mandatory in this line of work. With everything comes loopholes & risk, but doing everything in your power to stay as safe as possible makes things a bit more managable. The only thing i can hope is that none of you guys out there ever have to deal with any of this...

 

 

Warmest Regards,

 

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>Bareback? Who said anything about barebacking?

 

No one, but you said that people should assume their partners are positive UNLESS presented with a hard copy of recent negative test results. What Rick and others are suggesting, I think, is that people should assume their partners are positive PERIOD.

 

As for keeping a copy handy to present on demand, unless it's just a brutal reality of the San Antonio market that you'll lose clients unless they see it in writing (I've never had a client even ask when my most recent test was, but maybe I'm spoiled living in San Francisco), I'd encourage you to rethink the practice, or at least not to promote it. For many of our clients we are helping to create one of their first and/or few gay experiences. As such we should not be encouraging them to develop social habits that will serve them poorly when they're out there trying to get laid. And asking to see people's papers before sex -- yikes, that's a habit that will serve them VERY poorly. If they make that their M.O. they're going to be spending a LOT of time alone with his right hand (admittedly, an excellent way to avoid STDs). They need to learn that what will protect them is not the illusion of authorative information about their partners' status, but the reality of safe sex.

 

That said, if they really won't hire without seeing paperwork I guess there's no way around it. But I wouldn't be too quick to present it. It just encourages them to confuse paranoia with self-protection.

[Guest pshaw]

To answer the original question, the general rule with herpes and HPV (genital warts) is "what you see is what you get." When the viruses are active (i.e., visible sores or warts), condoms definitely should be used, although the protection they provide is not perfect and skipping sex until the outbreak is over is best. If there are no visible sores or warts, chances of infection are fairly slim. With herpes there are usually signs like itching or burning a few days or hours before an outbreak. Since warts start out microscopic size, it may be a few days before a person knows he is having an outbreak. People who are infected with either can go for months or years between outbreaks, and sometimes they never reoccur.

 

It's a fairly safe bet that most clients and escorts who have herpres or HPV do not disclose these infections when they are in the dormant stage, especially to casual sex partners, and that most people who routinely have sex with different partners have been with one or more persons who carry these viruses. STDs are the risk you take when you have sex with multiple partners, but in the case of herpes and HPV, if you don't see evidence of an active outbreak, there isn't much reason for concern.