Things that Awakened or Re-Affirmed That I Am Gay...

[Gadfly22]

On 7/20/2021 at 5:48 PM, Gadfly22 said:

Love this. I've been going for pandemic walks with my neighbor since last August and at some point we happened on a local park with a basketball court. When the weather warmed up we started seeing young guys shooting hoops. Around May there was one guy in particular I was drawn to. That day I only saw his arms and the back of his head but I was still smitten. Since then I've seen him there many times (he's really cute) but never shirtless. This past Saturday I went for a bike ride and as I rode through the park I saw him there by himself shooting baskets. It had been a hot day but it was late afternoon and the sky was darkening like it was going to rain so I decided to finish my ride and come back to the park and see if he was still there. About 5 minutes after I left the park it started raining lightly so I turned around and came back. He was still there but everyone else had left so it was just me and him. I felt silly just watching him so I started to bike home. As I did the rain started to lighten up and I thought I must be crazy. This may be the only chance I get to be alone with him so I went back to the park entrance; he was still there. I hung out there for about 5 minutes wondering what, if anything I could do and finally decided to bike the oval around the perimeter of the park. Halfway around I had to decide if I wanted to take the shortcut through the center or continue around. The shortcut goes right to the basketball court so rather than be too obvious I kept going around. By the time I completed the loop and was back at the basketball court he was gone. I stopped and looked around - he was walking down the shortcut that I had declined to take. If I had we would definitely made eye contact. But what made it more excruciating was he had taken his shirt off and draped it around his neck. Is it possible he did this just for me? He must have seen me biking the loop and knew I would be coming around and I had never seen him go shirtless even on much hotter days. I thought momentarily about following him but that would have been uber creepy so I just went home. Not even a minute later it started pouring rain. Apropos. Anyway I'll be going for a bike ride in a little while and I'll probably pass through the park. If anyone has any advice on how to proceed I'd appreciate it. Wow this is a long post I'm sure no one will read it but I just had to tell someone.

Just back from biking and I saw my guy again and just like last time he was shooting baskets by himself. This time it wasn’t about to rain so I continued my ride. When I got back he was still there so I took a break and watched him for a while. After about 10 minutes he started to get his things together to go. My heart was racing. He walked back using the same shortcut path through the middle of the park that he did the previous time I saw him but this time I was sitting there quietly sipping on my bottled water trying not to look too obvious. He got closer and I was like ok finally my dream is about to come true! He got closer and closer.  I didn’t dare look up, I just listened. He got to where I was..... and kept going. No acknowledgement whatsoever. I guess I should have expected that. Like someone said in a previous thread - rejection is best when its blunt. 😔 The whole thing had a very Third Man feel to it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N8Njr-jbj2s

Maybe I’ll go to the beach tomorrow. 😐

[prof]

15 minutes ago, Gadfly22 said:

Just back from biking and I saw my guy again and just like last time he was shooting baskets by himself. This time it wasn’t about to rain so I continued my ride. When I got back he was still there so I took a break and watched him for a while. After about 10 minutes he started to get his things together to go. My heart was racing. He walked back using the same shortcut path through the middle of the park that he did the previous time I saw him but this time I was sitting there quietly sipping on my bottled water trying not to look too obvious. He got closer and I was like ok finally my dream is about to come true! He got closer and closer.  I didn’t dare look up, I just listened. He got to where I was..... and kept going. No acknowledgement whatsoever. I guess I should have expected that. Like someone said in a previous thread - rejection is best when its blunt. 😔 The whole thing had a very Third Man feel to it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N8Njr-jbj2s

Maybe I’ll go to the beach tomorrow. 😐

You didn't actually make contact, so I wouldn't view this as a rejection, because he had nothing to reject. If you were waiting for him to make contact, his not doing so is not a rejection--he merely did not do what you hoped. Right now you're just a guy he may have noticed watching him, and that might even make him a little uncomfortable. Have confidence in yourself & try talking to him. Maybe it will lead somewhere (possibly just a short exchange, possibly more), or maybe not, but it's worth a try. 

[Gadfly22]

21 hours ago, prof said:

You didn't actually make contact, so I wouldn't view this as a rejection, because he had nothing to reject. If you were waiting for him to make contact, his not doing so is not a rejection--he merely did not do what you hoped. Right now you're just a guy he may have noticed watching him, and that might even make him a little uncomfortable. Have confidence in yourself & try talking to him. Maybe it will lead somewhere (possibly just a short exchange, possibly more), or maybe not, but it's worth a try. 

Yeah I suppose you’re right. Even as thoroughly lacking in self confidence ad I am it probably wouldn’t have hurt anything to say hi. No one else was around. Maybe next time if there is one. I gotta stop obsessing over this guy. I have hardly done anything since I got vaccinated (6 weeks ago). No beach, no  biking other than in my neighborhood and haven’t seen any friends. Just one trip to see my dad on Father’s Day. Not sure if its a good idea to start having fun again with the new variant spreading but we’ll see i guess.

[+ WilliamM]

On 7/15/2021 at 1:21 PM, WilliamM said:

Back to subject, as the hall monitor would say.

 

I saw Judy Garland at Boston Garden in October 1961. My fate was sealed as an 18 year old 

No opening act

Comment

Near the end, the orchestra played 'That's Entertainment,"  Garland put the mic down and danced across the stage kicking her legs in the air, one at a time. It stopped the show cold

[curt gregory]

5 hours ago, WilliamM said:

Comment

Near the end, the orchestra played 'That's Entertainment,"  Garland put the mic down and danced across the stage kicking her legs in the air, one at a time. It stopped the show cold

How I would have loved to have been there. (I wasn’t quite 2 when it happened. 😀)  Her Carnegie Hall concert album is such a classic….

[+ WilliamM]

18 minutes ago, curt gregory said:

How I would have loved to have been there. (I wasn’t quite 2 when it happened. 😀)  Her Carnegie Hall concert album is such a classic….

If one listens to the Carnegie Hall with earphones you can hear her footsteps across the stage during "That's Entertainment."

[+ MysticMenace]

Ryan Phillippe in Cruel Intentions...particularly these fond memories in the movie

 

and Freddie Prinze Jr...on Summer Catch

[Merboy]

From the 90s alone, between the ages of 5 and 15...

The cutie pie from the Rescuers Down Under.  Cody.  He takes off his shirt in one scene.  I must have been about 6.  Good lord.

Then there was Devon Sawa, a typical 90s crush - from Casper and Now and Then.  A breathtaking vision.  God I loved that 90s hairstyle on guys - that swooshy way the hair went, curtained I think is the word.

But by the late 90s hormones were flying all over the fucking place and I was horny as shit.  The first time I ejaculated and saw this icky white goo explode all over the keyboard was Eddie Cibrian in "Living Out Loud".  O.M.G.  I was never the same after that.

But in 2000, I fell madly in love with Jesse Metcalfe, who played the dopey Miguel on the nutty soap opera Passions.  I watched it only to get a glimpse of that face and that bod.

I wanted nothing more as a 14 year old to feast on his magnificent pecs, just suck them all day and all night long.

I didn't really get into the porn until a few years later - first it was sexy scenes in mainstream stuff like Sex and the City, then it went to those softcore Cinemax movies (Jarod Carey, drool) and then it went to really hardcore porn by the first year of college and by the second year of college I had developed a horrible addiction to porn.  Wasted away, spent all night looking for hot guys to jerk off to, and then fell asleep right when class was starting.  I was a very naughty dude, and I really wanted my philosophy professor to punish me. 😈

[+ MysticMenace]

6 minutes ago, Merboy said:

The first time I ejaculated and saw this icky white goo explode all over the keyboard was Eddie Cibrian in "Living Out Loud".  O.M.G.  I was never the same after that.

I wish I had discovered this way earlier, but stumbled upon this just last year.

[+ E.T.Bass]

On 7/20/2021 at 2:48 PM, Gadfly22 said:

Love this. I've been going for pandemic walks with my neighbor since last August and at some point we happened on a local park with a basketball court. When the weather warmed up we started seeing young guys shooting hoops. Around May there was one guy in particular I was drawn to. That day I only saw his arms and the back of his head but I was still smitten. Since then I've seen him there many times (he's really cute) but never shirtless. This past Saturday I went for a bike ride and as I rode through the park I saw him there by himself shooting baskets. It had been a hot day but it was late afternoon and the sky was darkening like it was going to rain so I decided to finish my ride and come back to the park and see if he was still there. About 5 minutes after I left the park it started raining lightly so I turned around and came back. He was still there but everyone else had left so it was just me and him. I felt silly just watching him so I started to bike home. As I did the rain started to lighten up and I thought I must be crazy. This may be the only chance I get to be alone with him so I went back to the park entrance; he was still there. I hung out there for about 5 minutes wondering what, if anything I could do and finally decided to bike the oval around the perimeter of the park. Halfway around I had to decide if I wanted to take the shortcut through the center or continue around. The shortcut goes right to the basketball court so rather than be too obvious I kept going around. By the time I completed the loop and was back at the basketball court he was gone. I stopped and looked around - he was walking down the shortcut that I had declined to take. If I had we would definitely made eye contact. But what made it more excruciating was he had taken his shirt off and draped it around his neck. Is it possible he did this just for me? He must have seen me biking the loop and knew I would be coming around and I had never seen him go shirtless even on much hotter days. I thought momentarily about following him but that would have been uber creepy so I just went home. Not even a minute later it started pouring rain. Apropos. Anyway I'll be going for a bike ride in a little while and I'll probably pass through the park. If anyone has any advice on how to proceed I'd appreciate it. Wow this is a long post I'm sure no one will read it but I just had to tell someone.

Side note: I've noticed jock-type gay or gay curious guys lingering at the basketball hoops at a couple of parks I walked my dogs and at least twice observed a love connection (or lust connection) unfolding after the game when most of the guys were heading home.

[+ E.T.Bass]

I read about homosexuality in the newspaper and realized OMG , that's what I am.

I remember going to an afterschool movie with a classmate and felt this excitement being with him.  That was way before I ever understood about sex between guys.

Now it's all out there on the internet.

[Gadfly22]

On 8/22/2021 at 1:52 AM, E.T.Bass said:

Side note: I've noticed jock-type gay or gay curious guys lingering at the basketball hoops at a couple of parks I walked my dogs and at least twice observed a love connection (or lust connection) unfolding after the game when most of the guys were heading home.

I saw something interesting at the b ball court in my neighborhood last Friday. I was taking a break after my bike ride checking out the guys. It was getting late, only one guy there, kinda cute. I wanted to wait until he left but it was late, getting dark so I hang out for a while, nothing happening so I start to go. I walk my bike past the court and out of nowhere pops this gorgeous bronzed shirtless GOD! WTH is he getting here so late for? And then it occurred to me just what you wrote in your post. Maybe he’s looking to hook up. I walk slowly so I can see what he’s up to. He does some stretching then starts running sprints along the court. I wanna go back and see if anything transpired between him and the other guy (who was still there) but I thought that would be creepy so I biked home. That would have been so hot! Its been raining here since Saturday so I haven’t been back to the park. May never know what happened. Never saw that dude before but I’m gonna be sure to hang around till it gets dark from now on! 😝🤪😜

[+ E.T.Bass]

5 hours ago, Gadfly22 said:

I saw something interesting at the b ball court in my neighborhood last Friday. I was taking a break after my bike ride checking out the guys. It was getting late, only one guy there, kinda cute. I wanted to wait until he left but it was late, getting dark so I hang out for a while, nothing happening so I start to go. I walk my bike past the court and out of nowhere pops this gorgeous bronzed shirtless GOD! WTH is he getting here so late for? And then it occurred to me just what you wrote in your post. Maybe he’s looking to hook up. I walk slowly so I can see what he’s up to. He does some stretching then starts running sprints along the court. I wanna go back and see if anything transpired between him and the other guy (who was still there) but I thought that would be creepy so I biked home. That would have been so hot! Its been raining here since Saturday so I haven’t been back to the park. May never know what happened. Never saw that dude before but I’m gonna be sure to hang around till it gets dark from now on! 😝🤪😜

I'm convinced some of the basketball jocks are looking for gay companionship afterwards.  It makes sense.