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At The Gym


Lucky
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So most people would probably figure that I am one who speaks up easily, but I find that I shut up more often than I would like to. Here's a few examples, and I wonder what you do in similar situations:

 

a) I've been waiting patiently for a machine, a little to the side so as not to hover over the guy still using it. Two guys walking up see the machine come free and immediately take it over. They HAD to have seen me waiting.

 

b) This guy has bulk but not a great body, he wears super-tight clothes, and every push he makes is apparently against death-defying forces as he grunts so loud that he can be heard throughout the gym.

 

c) Many guys find the gym lockerroom the place to shave; 90% feel the need to do it naked, the other 10% wear a towel. (I never see any young'uns shaving naked at the gym.) Anyway, today this guy is shaving...his balls. His pubic hairs falling on the floor where the next unsuspecting guy can step on them. Later, when I am washing my hands, he pops up again, naked and shaving.

 

Well, in situation A, damn right I speak up. The two then get huffy as queens do, but yield to me.

 

In b), no, I don't say a thing. I just try to shut him out.

 

In c) I didn't say anything at the ball shaving, but I wanted to. The second time around, I just spontaneously opened my mouth without thinking and asked him how many times he was going to shave. I was at the next sink by now. He responded, very quickly, "oh, this is the first time I've shaved my face!" I laughed too.

 

Oftentimes guys at the gym know they are in your way but won't move over unless you ask them to. My favorite example is a guy standing in his underwear in front of my locker, talking to someone else. I didn't say anything to him,, but to his buddy instead. After all, even I get intimidated by Zeb Atlas!

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>as he grunts so loud that he can

>be heard throughout the gym.

 

You could root out a used copy of Allan Sherman's The Rape of the A*P*E* (*American *Puritan *Ethic) and give it to him. First being sure to highlight and yellow-sticky the passage where Sherman elaborates the strict WASP prohibition against making bathroom noises of "either (a) labor or (b) pleasure." :D

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Offer to help? That's the last thing I would do! Why the guy thinks he needs to shave his balls and then leave the hairs for unsuspecting others to stand on irritates me. If it were Zeb Atlas shaving I wouldn't help either. Some things are done at home!

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>b) This guy has bulk but not a great body, he wears

>super-tight clothes, and every push he makes is apparently

>against death-defying forces as he grunts so loud that he can

>be heard throughout the gym.

 

Another tack: Buy one of these...

 

http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/images/p-jokes/toilet/long-turd-100.jpg

http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/p-jokes/fake/poo/

 

...toss it under his machine when no one's looking, then get everyone to come over and see what the big guy's labors have produced.

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>c) Many guys find the gym lockerroom the place to shave; 90%

>feel the need to do it naked, the other 10% wear a towel. (I

>never see any young'uns shaving naked at the gym.) Anyway,

>today this guy is shaving...his balls. His pubic hairs falling

>on the floor where the next unsuspecting guy can step on them.

>Later, when I am washing my hands, he pops up again, naked and

>shaving.

>

>

When I lived in Cincinnati--I went once with a straight friend to his gym--I think most of the gyms aside from the downtown YMCA in Cincinnati are straight. He had told me about the guys shaving butt naked in the locker room and sure enough he was right. It always seems to be the older guys who do it--I am 47--so I mean guys older than I am--at least late 50's or above. I wonder if it has something to do with the locker room being a "guy place" and it's a place to do "guy things". It's not the shaving I object to so much--as long as they clean up--but why do it naked--without even a towel on?

 

 

Maybe it's a generation thing--my Uncle who is in his 80's said that when he was young--that it was normal to swim at the YMCA "au naturel" except on Family Day. I am thinking the YMCA may have been a bastion of "maleness" back then and not as coed as it is today.

 

So as of the moment--I have no desire to shave while being naked at the gym--actually I don't have much desire to be at the gym--although I am going to try to force myself. However, I am wondering--and with a large amount of trepidation which I don't mind admitting-- if in 10 years the urge to shave naked will become an overpowering compulsion that I will be helpless to resist. If so, I am warning everyone way in advance that you will need a strong pair of shades to ward off the glare from my lilly white bod.

 

Gman

 

:+ :+ :+ :+ :+

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For all you too young to remember nude swimming, that's what we did at the Boyws Club until I was about 12 Then they introduced the swimsuit......I remember the shower guy- he kapt sending us back because you could always find some scrub on a 12-year old boy. It was never sexual to me. it I wonder about the guys watching.

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God, you're making me feel old. I am of the generation who always swam naked at the YMCA, all males, youth and adult. Also in college swimming ability was required so if you couldn't you needed to take a class. In the nude.

 

In the modern age there seems to be a real shyness about exposing one's body. I notice at clothing optional venues, of which I'm a devotee being a nudist at heart, the young so often prefer to clutch their towels. How unfortunate!

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>a) I've been waiting patiently for a machine, a little to the

>side so as not to hover over the guy still using it. Two guys

>walking up see the machine come free and immediately take it

>over. They HAD to have seen me waiting.

 

Yeah ... there are a lot of gym-bunnies that hop to it without thinking so to speak.

 

Try, "Hey Guys, I was waiting for that one. Did you mind letting me a get few quick sets in or letting me work in with you?"

 

How far from the machine were you that they beat you though?

 

>b) This guy has bulk but not a great body, he wears

>super-tight clothes, and every push he makes is apparently

>against death-defying forces as he grunts so loud that he can

>be heard throughout the gym.

 

I believe the answer is join World Gym where they have specific member rules AGAINST that. Mention it to the management and they'll take care of it. As to the super tight clothes ... yeah that's pretty offensive in and of itself some times. Unless you're seeing something you shouldn't be I don't think there's anything you can do about it.

 

>c) Many guys find the gym lockerroom the place to shave; 90%

>feel the need to do it naked, the other 10% wear a towel. (I

>never see any young'uns shaving naked at the gym.) Anyway,

>today this guy is shaving...his balls. His pubic hairs falling

>on the floor where the next unsuspecting guy can step on them.

>Later, when I am washing my hands, he pops up again, naked and

>shaving.

 

OK, that's just disgusting. If you actually DID talk to him like below I don't think a playful suggestion to take care of his personal parts in a shower cubicle would have been a reach away from etiquette.

 

>Oftentimes guys at the gym know they are in your way but won't

>move over unless you ask them to. My favorite example is a guy

>standing in his underwear in front of my locker, talking to

>someone else. I didn't say anything to him,, but to his buddy

>instead. After all, even I get intimidated by Zeb Atlas!

 

Awww. I just do the reach in and make THEM feel awkward. Afterall, they're in front of your locker. ;-)

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