Dominant bottoms...aka bossy bottoms

[TallMuscl37]

A question for tops: I’ve somewhat recently come across this phrase, but I guess it’s been out for awhile. However, I’ve also been coming across this lately. Most recently, I’ve been “seeing” a guy for the past 6 months who’s a definite “dominate” bottom (he’s the shorter of us 2, but a couple years older) and it has been having me like ? It started off with him wanting to be aggressive and liking rough sex, now it’s been turning into him trying to dominate me, yet I’m the top in the situation. This shows in conversations (with a condescending or bossy tone), but also in the bedroom. Basically wanting to “direct” our hookups into what he wants.

 

Sometimes it just confuses me because it’s like, how can a top be dominant in the bedroom, if he’s being made to feel like a bitch any other time? I also have a client who’s been operating in this “bossy bottom” parameter, and I told him today, “if I’m to be the dominant, aggressive top that you want me to be, I can’t be dominated into dominance”. I figure, it just doesn’t work that way? I found a humorous, but sadly realistic example of what I’m referring to:

 

[MEDIA=reddit]lolgrindr/comments/85kzul[/MEDIA]

 

my thing is: how can one voice what they want, but without coming across as demanding or bossing their top around?

Edited December 30, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ Pensant]

Many bottoms like to dominate the scene in my experience.

[+ MysticMenace]

from my limited understanding, I thought someone's "role" in the bedroom (dominant / submissive) does not have to conform to the stereotype in preferences to sexual positions (e.g. top / bottom / vers). it is prolly in this forum, but I have seen discussions about "dominant bottoms," "submissive tops" and any other combination. perhaps another conversation with your 'guy' to clarify and align on roles and expectations in the bedroom might be in order. perhaps a similar conversation happens with the client to clarify if he wants to be the dominant bottom in the session.

 

not to conflate this further, but I have also read somewhere, maybe in Travis Bryant's YouTube channel, about how he also liked having a dominant guy in the bedroom and trying to fight / wrestle for dominance - regardless of position preference; however, it seems like he also makes that clear with his sexual partners before they do the deed.

 

hope you find some resolution to your situation.