What Makes Me Gay?

[Guest carter07]

Re the father-son relationship: My father and I were never close when I was young, but that changed in his and my later years. And my gay son and I have a good relationship; he and his partner of 15 years visit us and so forth. But he does not know I'm gay, too — or I don't think he does — and I don't think I would change this situation because, interestingly, it might change the relationship.

 

But don't we all lead secret lives in one way or another. Isn't it necessary that we maintain that inner space where only we reside?

[Guest carter07]

Having read your posts over time, I wish I had an excuse to get to Atlanta. I love a good massage — and a good talk ...

[Guest josephga]

I have very good open communication relationships with some of my clients. every so often ill ask the married ones, so what made you decide to get married instead of being openly gay? 90% of the time its the same answer. family. they wanted a family and didn't feel that would be possible after seeing though others how hard the gay life can be. which brings them too me. they explain that for that one hour they can feel the touch of another man though massage. in my case since my services are limited to touch therapy only, they feel that they arnt betraying the wife family ,or putting their spouse at any risk.. some of the guys im quit during the whole massage while with others we talk during the whole hour..

[Rod Hagen]

Unfortunately, as SoccerStud and I just discussed off-stage, it's maybe a bit tautological to say you're homo if you're attracted to guys (Larry Craig) and your homo AND gay (or, simply, GAY) if you identify as (part of the community/culture of) gay.

 

My guess is this is the stuff they talk about in Queer Studies courses/majors.

 

(Someone (a real asshole) once told me (venomously) that I use (all together) too many (extraneous) parenthesis when I write.)

 

http://www.RodHagen.com

[Rod Hagen]

> I thought Charlie's

>comment about Larry Craig being gay but not homosexual was

>particularly insighful.

 

The other way around dear :-)

 

>for me to come out when I did to my wife and kids. It's so

>much healthier.

 

and fun }(

[Guest carter07]

Soccerstud, I empathize completely. I grew up in the late 40s and 1950s and never understood at the time why I was attracted to males rather than females. Oh, there were a few women I really felt something for; I had a serious romance in college. But military service was a strain; all that cock in the shower at once and so on. Yes, I married for about the same reasons; I love the wife dearly for the bright, endearing person she is; the sons do well, although one got off track for a time. And now, when I'm well past the prime of anything, I do stuff like this on the 'net.

 

I understand myself better, but I doubt that I would change anything now; it is much too late for me to "come out" and I would just hurt people if I did. So in the years I have left I just want to do the best I can for family and, like others here, savor the few times when I can afford a moment of intimacy with a considerate and sharing man. (Thank the good Lord for Daddy's Reviews.)

[Guest josephga]

I didn't come out until I was 30 years old. right after completing my term in the army. i didn't loose my virginity until i had my first bf at the age of 31.. I knew I was gay around the age of 19 when i found myself having a crush on a coworker. but i didn't want too hurt my parents and out of fear of loosing friends i never acted on those feelings until the age of 31. after leaving the military i felt if i was willing too put my life on the line for my country then i should live the life that was meant too be.. i remember going in the bathroom and turning on the light and looking in the mirror and saying I'm gay to myself first.. shortly after that i discovered the Internet. i started up a convo with a guy after about amonth we agreed too met and that meeting resulted in a 2 year relationship..

[Guest scortlovr]

What makes me gay is that I noticed how badly dressed everyone was last night at the oscars, except for Helen Mirren! As well as the overwhelming desire I had to spend the rest of my life with Javier Bardem, altough I might settle for an hour!:9

[gp0560]

Soccerstud, Carter07, etc.: A year or more ago, I posted this list, but you may still be interested in it. It seems not inappropriate for this thread. --Jerry

 

If you were 12 in 1950, 22 in 1960 . . .

 

The advantages of life in the closet:

 

1. You get to study straight boys and men to learn how to walk, talk, and behave. You’re afraid to buck convention.

 

2. You get to study gay boys and men to learn how not to walk, talk, and behave. You’re afraid to buck convention.

 

3. You get to avoid the slightest hint of a lisp or (in the Midwest) a drawl.

 

4. You get to pitch your voice in a habitual monotone, which is not easy after you get proficient in French.

 

5. You get to balance your weight evenly on both feet, so that one hip doesn’t thrust out to the side, which is bad enough in itself, but also encourages the opposite leg to go into a queer position.

 

6. You get to watch the workmen outside your house as a little boy, and then say to yourself years later, “So that’s why I liked to see them with their shirts off.”

 

7. You get to sneak home muscle magazines under your jacket when you’re a teen.

 

8. You get to arrange a code word with your boyhood friend for when you want to go over to his house “to watch TV.”

 

9. You get to avoid going to the beach so that you don’t embarrass yourself in public.

 

10. You get to force disinterested responses when your college roommate tells you one Hollywood star or another is gay.

 

11. You get to admire only his honesty when your handsome, built college roommate tells you he himself is gay.

 

12. You get to limit yourself to quick, unrepeated glances at cute and/or muscular guys.

 

13. You get to sneak glances at the cute/muscular guys in your classroom while they’re taking tests.

 

14. You get to look for cute and/or muscular guys while looking over your wife’s shoulder.

 

15. You get to carry your wife’s purse, when she needs you to, by anything but the strap.

 

16. You get to drive while keeping a lookout for what might be watchable down the road, so that you can arrange to glance that way at the right time. It’s better to be a passenger.

 

17. You get to program the VCR, with its freeze-frame capability, to get the Marc Singer movies. Also the Hercules-type films, which teach you not to lock your knees when wearing shorts.

 

18. You get to check out Lowe’s, Home Depot, etc., especially on hot Saturday mornings, when the muscle shirts, tank tops, and shorts are everywhere.

 

19. You get to avoid, just in time, the mistake of asking the meaning of “California, the land of fruits and nuts.”

 

20. You get to choose, at the supermarket, between the short checkout lane with the pretty girl and the long checkout lane with the stunning stud.

 

21. You get to watch sports on TV for glimpses of muscle, like college football in the early fall when it’s still hot enough to wear short socks and short-sleeve jerseys.

 

22. You get to learn how to hold your head still and let your eyes wander anywhere they want.

 

23. You get to admire your wife’s firm belief that sexual orientation is innate and not chosen, because you know it is certainly true. She also enjoys “Will & Grace.”

 

24. You get to be grateful when your marital erection doesn’t start to fail you until well into middle age.

 

25. You get to feel guilty relief when your wife’s migraines and spells of depression mean less desire and less opportunity for sex.

 

26. You get to wonder what life would have been like if people had been as accepting then as they are today, which isn’t enough.

 

27. You get to answer yourself, “Yeah, but you’d probably be dead from AIDS by now; you were a horny bastard.”

 

28. You get to panic for an answer when a friend tells you he’s gay, you say, “So?” and he asks, “How come you’re so accepting?”

 

29. You get to remain ignorant of what it’s like to have a close male friend, because once you know his mind, you can’t help lusting for him. Not to mention that you can’t really share your inner self with him.

 

30. You get to observe the increasing signs of age and to realize that no one new is likely to love you any more.

 

31. You get to wonder if you’ll ever get a chance for physical contact with a man.

 

32. You get to wait fifty years, more or less, to get an Internet connection, which lets you look as long as you like at any interesting picture you find.

 

33. You get to stumble across a board where some of the escorts reveal bright minds and wonderfully complex personalities, as well as drool-over pictures.

 

34. You get to steal money from the joint checking account for time with an escort.

 

35. You get to exult when you finally get approval for a business trip out of town.

 

36. Finally, you get to spend your first time with a great escort.

 

37. And then, I get to go home and imagine what might have been, for the rest of my fucked-up life.

[Guest carter07]

Yes, Jerry, that pretty much sums it up.

[Guest Merlin]

Perhaps, Rod, but most scientists agree that more research is needed.

[Rod Hagen]

Holy shit that list is excellent. Makes me feel really grateful I only waited until 25. Who came up with that list?

 

GP0560 did you create it? Well-done!

[Rod Hagen]

>Perhaps, Rod, but most scientists agree that more research is

>needed.

 

Scientists DON'T believe there is any one cause. I left off an "s" above.

 

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