SPANKING

[beefeater]

I was just viewing pictures of an older man spanking a younger guy. The younger guy's butt was bright red and the older man's face was all smiles. I just don't get it. What "pleasure" is either receiving from it? Pain/control? Could someone please explain?

[Rick Munroe]

Well, just think about a sexual activity that turns you on, and then try to explain to someone (who doesn't understand why you would want to do that) why it is that it turns you on. It's not so easy. There are physical aspects, emotional, psychological...sometimes just one of the above and sometimes all three. And it also depends on the mood and the chemistry between the two. For example, while it's not the #1 favorite activity that I seek, I would love to get spanked by (or to spank) a guy who's really into it, because I would get a lot of pleasure from knowing that it turns him on. That's part of my psyche (I don't want to say I'm a "people pleaser" because that's too Dr. Phil) and so in my case, it would definitely be an emotional turn on more than physical.

[Guest zipperzone]

While it's not my # 1 favorite, I can get into it now and then. On such occasions I prefer to be the spankee. What do I get out of it (besides a red and warm butt)? Humiliation and subserveance, I guess. It gets even better if there is an audience.

[whipped guy]

Regarding the top end, most guys are turned on when they know that the bottom is enjoying the activity… and of course the reverse is true as well. Like anything else, knowing that you are pleasing your partner elicits and fuels an internal mechanism that heightens the pleasure… and this is something that is not related specifically to S&M, or even other sexual activities. It is a normal human emotional response.

 

Regard the bottom… of course there is that fine line between pain and pleasure… and it is important that that fine line be traversed gingerly. Still, and this would refer to an S&M top as well, I think it is something innate. I recall one S&M top made his decision to get into escorting after he lost his day job when a friend asked him what activity he got the most pleasure from. His response, “Well, I've always liked beating up boys.” Well, for him it was a no-brainer! Likewise, those that crave pain (and remember that pain really equals pleasure) have probably had those feeling since childhood as well.

 

In summation, the pleasure can range from simply knowing that one is pleasing their partner to inborn feelings of emotional gratification. Now when the two are combined (by that I mean that none of the participants are simply “going through the motions” but rather are really into the activity) it seems to exponentially heighten the pleasure for all involved. Again this is something that is a basic part of the human psyche and S&M is simply another way of expressing all those built in and sometimes overly complex emotional feelings that we all possess to varying degrees. To take things one step further, I am sure some of these rough and tumble sexual desires are harbingers from our animal and Neanderthal ancestors. In a sense S&M is almost like getting back to the basics and fundamentals of sexual activity.

[Okliehomo]

Rick's right. You can't explain it to someone that isn't into it. But nothing gets me hotter than watching a guy getting a bareassed, over the knee spanking by hand. I have tried countless times to duplicate that experience in person with one particilar bf and with lots of escorts, but no one has really ever delivered. And that's because I can't articulate it..like now, for example. It's just another form of foreplay...another way to play with a guy's ass and for me, it takes a little role playing. It's not just getting your ass slapped a few times....It's punishment for something you did and the guy is making you be submissive (obviously the hard part for me) and he's telling you what you did as he is spanking you and telling you what he is going to do to you next..and you have no control over it. He is going to do it...and the what next, of course, in my particular fantasy, involves getting totally smothered by the guy's ass after he is done with the spanking. Where it has always gone wrong for me is when I have to coach the other guy through it...tell him what to say etc. Have never met anyone that has really been able to read my nasty mind enough to make this work. So, usually, I just go with the end part (pun intended) of that fantasy and it's still pretty hot.

 

I cancelled an appt with Reece Rothmeir years ago and then before I could reschedule he retired. One of my few regrets since I started seeing escorts. Well, that and Aiden Shaw..

 

Clear as mud, huh?

 

Okie

[buzz]

i really don't understand why i like being spanked but i certainly do! i think it has to do with the gratification i get from being totally submissive and enjoying making an SM top feel happy and fulfilled. The more corporal punishment i get, the more i like it and the more i crave. sounds crazy but pain makes me happy...and a good spanking or good whipping very quickly becomes a scene not of pain but of sheer joy and pleasure.

buzz

[Rick Munroe]

>It's not just getting your ass

>slapped a few times....It's punishment for something you did

>and the guy is making you be submissive (obviously the hard

>part for me) and he's telling you what you did as he is

>spanking you and telling you what he is going to do to you

>next..and you have no control over it.

 

Ahh...that's why it always works so well when Derek does it to me. He always has a list of stuff I've really done to piss him off. }(

[Guest alanm]

I have tried

>countless times to duplicate that experience in person with

>one particilar bf and with lots of escorts, but no one has

>really ever delivered.

>

 

Falcon's Billy Brandt was the only escort I have ever hired who loved to get spanked. I am not sure that I understood spanking, until Brandt suggested it. We talked about it. He had (has) some pretty interesting theories about spanking starting with control v. submission and much more.

 

Wonder where Billy Brandt is now? This is the first time his name has been mentioned here in years. For those who never saw any of his videoes, the best is Falcon's "Absolute Arid" in which he defines the word "Twink."

[whipped guy]

RE: Where it has always gone wrong for me is when I have to coach the other guy through it...tell him what to say etc. Have never met anyone that has really been able to read my nasty mind enough to make this work...I cancelled an appt with Reece Rothmeir years ago and then before I could reschedule he retired. One of my few regrets since I started seeing escorts.[/font color=blue]

 

Okie, make that one big regret. Reece had a knack of knowing what you wanted before you even articulated the fact to him. Furthermore, by the time he unfortunately retired he had honed his role-play and acting skills to the point where he was very convincing indeed. As a top who knew how to dish things out he was nonpareil and that included every aspect of S&M from mild to wild… and just for the record his butt was phenomenal as well… so the end part (again pun intended) of your fantasy would have put quite a smile on your face!

[Justice]

I was spanked as a child. I HATED it. While I was growing up, I sometimes threw up if I even THOUGHT that I was going to get a spanking. Then one day something changed. It was about the same time that I noticed that I was attracted to men. I would look at the underwear section of the Sears and JC Penny catalogues and wonder what it would be like to get spanked by the models. Especially the ones that showed a model's legs, because that made it easier to fantasize about laying across his lap while getting a spanking. We had a lot of department stores in the New York area back then and I used to have the same thoughts whenever I saw an ad for an underwear sale. I would have these same thoughts if I saw an attractive guy on the street or on the subway, etc., etc. I would practically explode on the rare occassions that I saw someone get spanked on TV or in the movies. (I lived to see Lucy get spanked on I Love Lucy.) These thoughts used to horrify me. I was actually more horrified at the thought about getting spanked then I was about being attracted to guys. Spankings hurt. They were humiliating. They made me sick to my stomach. I had no idea that someone could actually get off on them.

 

I could never (still can't) bring myself to bring up the subject with a partner

 

Then one day, I was on my way to meet a friend in City. I took the bus into the Port Authority. This was pre-internet. The was pre-Disneyfication of Times Square. As I walked past the many adult video stores on 42nd street, I noticed the word "spanking" in one of the stores. I was drawn inside like a moth to a flame. (Previously, the idea of going into one of the stores around Times Square horrified me even more then the idea of getting spanked.) I discovered that they had a whole section devoted to STR8 spanking videos. I was even more horrified. Especially when I looked at the pictures on the boxes. Most of the men weren't very attractive. The backsides of the woman who'd been spanked looked bruised. I was horrified! Why would anyone make something like that? Why would anyone agree to "star" in something like that. Why would anyone buy something like that? How could I think that I would enjoy something like that? I walked out of the store feeling sick to my stomach. Several days later I returned and bought a video. (I still have it.) I later learned that they made gay spanking videos. (I have an extensive collection. I keep wondering what my family is going to think if anything ever happens to me and they have to clean out my apartment. This is not something that most people understand or enjoy.) The thought of getting spanked by another guy kept getting stronger.

 

I started seeing personal ads from guys who were looking for spanking partners. I could never get up the nerve to try it. (I kept imagining myself getting robbed/mudered/getting involved with some sadist. You can imagine the thoughts that went through my head.) Then came the internet. I didn't have a home computer, so I actually did some searches, after hours, on a shared computer at work. You didn't need a user name or password, but the fear of getting fired if I got caught kept me from doing that more then a couple of times. I got a computer. I became friendly with someone on a now defunct spanking message board. He lived in my area. He seemed like a nice enough guy. We met for coffee. (Which is something that I swore the I would never do. The fear of hooking up with a psychopath is a strong deterrent ) We hit it off. He told me (both in an e-mail and on the phone) that he would spank me whenever I was ready. I went across his lap several weeks later. It was like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. He knew that it was my first time as an adult and that I was scared so he started slow. He eventually made sure that I felt it. He kept increasing the intensity. It hurt. It was embarassing. He had to hold me down because I was struggling to get away. He kept checking to make sure that I was o.k. I didn't want it to end. It was exhilarating. I really can't describe it, but the pain became secondary to the pleasure. Eventually, I asked him to stop. (I couldn't have been across his lap for more then 15 minutes, but it seemed like hours. The actual spanking didn't take that long.) When it was over I couldn't believe that I had gone through with it, but I wanted to do it again. And, again. We went out for coffee. We promised to keep in touch. I've never seen him again. He wanted to introduce an implement such as a belt or a paddle into the scene and I wasn't quite ready for that. Eventually we stopped e-mailing each other.

 

Then one day I googled "male escort spanking". I found this site. The rest is history. I figured that I could more or less total control over how I was going to get spanked. (I'm still not ready for an implement.) My first experience with an escort didn't go very well. I hired someone from an agency that used to advertise on Hooboy. It had several positive reviews. It had an incall location. It seemed like a no brainer. It didn't go as well as I had hoped. He wanted to money upfront. To make matters worse, he told me that he had read the very detailed e-mail that I had written, but he also asked me to describe exactly what I wanted to do together. I was terrified that I was caught up in some sort of sting operation. To this day I still don't know why I didn't get up and leave. Getting arrested would be a horrible way to be "outed" as someone who enjoyed getting spanked. (For one thing, there's a pretty good chance that I would lose my job. Not because I liked getting spanked, but because I had been arrested.) I somehow managed to get through it. I enjoyed it, but I wound up cutting the scene short because nerves kept getting in the way. I temporarily gave up the idea of hiring, but I still very much wanted to get spanked again and again. Unfortunately, I had no idea when or how that was going to happen.

 

At the time, I was a fairly active poster here. I very much enjoyed Rick's posts and I kept thinking that it would be fun to get spanked by him. One day I sent him an e-mail. He sent me a very enthusiastic response. I sent him a follow-up that described in detail the kind of scene that I was looking for. He response was even more enthusiastic. We had to postpone getting together at least once. I was still very nervous, but we eventually got together. He gave me one hell of a spanking. I can't even begin to describe the how much I enjoyed it. At his suggestion, I eventually went across Dereck's lap. He also gives a pretty intense spanking. I'd willingly get spanked by both of them again. Unfortunately, my present circumstances prevent me from hiring, so I'm just going to enjoy the memories and live for the day when I can do it again. I can't describe why I enjoy it. The pleasure far outweighs the pain, etc. Like the song says: "I am, what I am!"

 

Justice