Pros and cons of having a relationship with a male masseur

[LoveAGoodMassage]

I’m newly divorced (from a woman) and have been in an on again/off again relationship with a massage therapist. Are there any success stories or “train wreck” experience with this kind of relationship?

 

The oblivious problem is jealousy. Giving erotic massages to other men. Not a fan of open relationships

 

Your thoughts...

[+ 7829V]

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

[+ tassojunior]

I’m newly divorced (from a woman) and have been in an on again/off again relationship with a massage therapist. Are there any success stories or “train wreck” experience with this kind of relationship?

 

The oblivious problem is jealousy. Giving erotic massages to other men. Not a fan of open relationships

 

Your thoughts...

 

 

oh boy that's a topic here.

 

I've had many of all kinds and it's complicated unless you make it simple. Sex at certain times for ____________ (fill in the blank). Friendship or not is outside of that. Some guys great sex, shitty friends and the reverse. But any sort of "lover" relationship can be much more expensive, and mentally taxing, than an arrangement. As far as jealousy on the sex part, juice it up with a 3some and even try to get someone else to also pay for one with the subject. Can be exciting. OTOH you'll find many where you're not jealous of the friendship part with others at all. Unfortunately, a lot are better sex than friends. Concentrate on the sex not the other stuff.

[boiledeggz]

Diseases..... You're exposing yourself. Unless they are just only massage, but let's be real.

[ArmyHands]

For me it's Hard to date.... I been a CMT since 2001.. Telling people you do massages as a full time job is a nightmare for me... Then when they hear that they run from you UGH !!!... I been single for the last 15yrs soo sad....

[Terpmaniac]

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

If you can't stand the meat get out of the bedroom.

 

 

Sorry, everybody I couldn't resist. Terp

[Dmitri]

I’m newly divorced (from a woman) and have been in an on again/off again relationship with a massage therapist. Are there any success stories or “train wreck” experience with this kind of relationship?

 

The oblivious problem is jealousy. Giving erotic massages to other men. Not a fan of open relationships

 

Your thoughts...

 

I think you just answered your own question. To quote you: " The obvious problem is jealousy. Giving erotic massages to other men. Not a fan of open relationships." Well, if he is giving erotic massages to other men, you ARE in an open relationship. It's your decision whether to stay or not, but from what you said , it does not sound like he's a good fit for you.

Edited May 30, 2019 by Dmitri

[LA Guy]

I can't give you advice, but I'll share my experience. I was in a relationship with a masseur. I didn't know it when we started dating, but he told me soon after. When things started getting serious, he announced that he was going to make his massages strictly therapeutic and cut out the happy endings. His decision, not at my request. And unsurprisingly his business slowed down to a trickle. I told him that giving happy endings didn't feel like a threat to our relationship, that emotional fidelity was what was important to me. The massage thing was ultimately not what broke us up, and we were together for a couple years.

[LoveAGoodMassage]

For me it's Hard to date.... I been a CMT since 2001.. Telling people you do massages as a full time job is a nightmare for me... Then when they hear that they run from you UGH !!!... I been single for the last 15yrs soo sad....

Thanks for the honesty, do you have strict hours you massage? I was thinking that might help, being on call, late nights, outcalls. These all have added stress to our relationship. I’m a 9 to 5 guy who travels about 10 weeks a year

[Guest InthePines]

I think @Dmitri said it best. The answer's in your head, but seems you're resisting it.

 

I'll also add, looking back to when I was young, every "on again/off again" relationship I've experienced we're co-dependent and ultimately should have ended long before they did.

[marylander1940]

Diseases..... You're exposing yourself. Unless they are just only massage, but let's be real.

 

Exactly! Let’s be honest!

[+ tassojunior]

I can't give you advice, but I'll share my experience. I was in a relationship with a masseur. I didn't know it when we started dating, but he told me soon after. When things started getting serious, he announced that he was going to make his massages strictly therapeutic and cut out the happy endings. His decision, not at my request. And unsurprisingly his business slowed down to a trickle. I told him that giving happy endings didn't feel like a threat to our relationship, that emotional fidelity was what was important to me. The massage thing was ultimately not what broke us up, and we were together for a couple years.

 

For real you know he stopped HEs? How?

If I believed everything my "pro" bf's told me it would be bad. Trust but verify or just believe what you know from experience since people rarely change.