First Visit With A New Internist On Monday Morning

[+ Gar1eth]

I plan on asking him about PrEP. I've been on it several times in the past depending on my insurance. But I don't think I've ever really talked to a, I'm presuming, straight primary care physician who will be seeing me on a regular basis. I mean I've told Urgent Care Doctors occasionally. And my original primary care internist who 1st put me on PrEP was gay as well as the one after him. My last primary care person to put me on PrEP was a nurse practitioner who was a lesbian although I didn't know that initially. I found her by looking at a list of caregivers who prescribed PrEP in the Tacoma, Wa area.

 

So this may be the 1st time I also admit to a non-gay physician that I'll be seeing routinely that I'm gay. I'm only 58, but I guess it had to happen sometime.

 

Gman

[marylander1940]

I plan on asking him about PrEP. I've been on it several times in the past depending on my insurance. But I don't think I've ever really talked to a, I'm presuming, straight primary care physician who will be seeing me on a regular basis. I mean I've told Urgent Care Doctors occasionally. And my original primary care internist who 1st put me on PrEP was gay as well as the one after him. My last primary care person to put me on PrEP was a nurse practitioner who was a lesbian although I didn't know that initially. I found her by looking at a list of caregivers who prescribed PrEP in the Tacoma, Wa area.

 

So this may be the 1st time I also admit to a non-gay physician that I'll be seeing routinely that I'm gay. I'm only 58, but I guess it had to happen sometime.

 

Gman

 

It’s 2019!

[LaffingBear]

You'd be doing yourself a disservice if you didnt tell your primary care doc anything relevant to current and potential health matters.

 

If he reacts badly, get a new doc.

 

And, how do you know your new doc isn't gay?

[+ Gar1eth]

You'd be doing yourself a disservice if you didnt tell your primary care doc anything relevant to current and potential health matters.

 

If he reacts badly, get a new doc.

 

And, how do you know your new doc isn't gay?

 

It's not a gay practice for one thing. And the blurb on the clinic website says he's married with three daughters. I realize none of that definitely says he isn't gay. But to me it's suggestive enough that I'll consider him straight until it's proven to the contrary.

 

The last time I lived in the Dallas area 8 years ago, I went to one of the more popular 'gay practices'. I'd like to go back to them. But their office is about 25 miles from where I'm living now. My neurologist is also about 25 miles away. I don't mind (as much) the neurologist being so far away because those are scheduled visits. But I'm more likely (mainly) going to be seeing my internist if I'm not feeling well. And if I'm not feeling well, I don't really want to drive 25 miles to get care.

 

As for letting him know I'm gay, it's a big step. As I said in the last post, I've let some physicians know in the past. But I think the only ones I've seen on a routine basis that I've told were all gay. The others were just occasional Urgent Care docs. I realize this is a no-brained for most of you. But when you've been closeted most of your life, this is a big deal. As of right now, I'm not exactly closeted. But I'm not really out. My closest relatives know. A few people from high school and college know although I'm not really in contact with them very much at the moment. And just about any social contacts I have currently have been thru the hook-up apps, so they are all gay or bisexual. And there haven't been many of those. I've probably met 6 guys since moving back to Dallas a year ago. And only one of those have I met a second time. And with that guy, the first was at a restaurant bar. The second time was at his house a week later. I think he was expecting sex. But my myasthenia gravis was acting up at that point (basically I was ill most of January and February). I was extremely short of breath due to the myasthenia affecting my diaphragm. Even talking in short sentences was making me breathless. I almost went to the ER three times for respiratory distress. But I improved enough each time, so I didn't go. The last episode where I thought I might have to go to the ER occurred while I was at his house. I left his place much sooner than either of us expected. I haven't talked with him since. So while I'm not completely open, due to my social circumstances, I'm not hiding from a lot of people.

 

Gman

[+ FreshFluff]

For now, you could just ask for PReP and get into specifics later. It sounds like your immediate issue, MG, is the one to concentrate on anyway.

 

The last time I talked about sex with a doctor, a sub-specialist no less, he told me, “I’m not judging. I learned long ago not to judge.” Thanks, bud.

[+ Pensant]

I have a straight, probably evangelical, primary care doc. He and I are quite friendly and he’s never given me a hint that he finds my gayness or PreP regimen anything but mundane. 99% of them really don’t care these days.

[Geriatric Otter]

As a doc, I don't judge. Don't overthink, just be honest.

[+ quoththeraven]

I applaud @Gar1eth for doing something difficult for him.

[TruthBTold]

Doctors go to school and residency for many years. Particularly since the 80s, they have seen a lot and learned to react with almost everyone. As everyone has said above, you would be doing yourself a grave disservice if you do not tell your internist if you are gay. If you are in a big or bigger city that will give him/her info he will be glad to have, particularly if you want to have blood test taken so that you can be informed about your HIV status. Ideally if you are sexually active and on PrEP you should be having blood tests. At any rate I think it will get you and your doctor off to a nice start if you are totally honest with him/her. And I think he/she will feel good that you can be honest with them.

[MassageAdam]

Doctors go to school and residency for many years. Particularly since the 80s, they have seen a lot and learned to react with almost everyone. As everyone has said above, you would be doing yourself a grave disservice if you do not tell your internist if you are gay. If you are in a big or bigger city that will give him/her info he will be glad to have, particularly if you want to have blood test taken so that you can be informed about your HIV status. Ideally if you are sexually active and on PrEP you should be having blood tests. At any rate I think it will get you and your doctor off to a nice start if you are totally honest with him/her. And I think he/she will feel good that you can be honest with them.

I'm a RN and work in health care. I go to a lot of drug rep dinners on PREP. I've actually been told by the drug reps that there are many doctors out there that don't even know PREP is out there and they basically have given them the impression they don't want to deal with it. If I were you, have the conversation with his office before you even go to him. I live in a large metropolitan area in SOCAL, where you think most doctors would be pretty open to everybody. It's just not the case.

[+ Gar1eth]

Well I had the meeting. I didn't actually say I was gay. But I did ask him if he were comfortable prescribing PrEP. He asked what that was. I said HIV prophylaxis with TRUVADA. He understood that better than me saying PrEP. He was willing to do it. I told him I had been on it before several times but had stopped due to insurance reasons. He asked me if I used the 200-300 dose. And he said we could get the follow-up labs every 3 but then said 6 months which I don't think is correct unless the protocol has changed.

 

Even with him possibly not being up On the protocol, I had a recent negative HIV test as of two weeks ago. And it's been longer than three months since I had anal intercourse-could be 5 months- and we played safe. I have had oral. But even that was in December before Christmas. My liver function tests are normal. And I've been vaccinated for Hep B and A years ago. Hep C is unlikely. And my last syphilis test was negative. So I've had basically all the tests except a Urinalysis.

 

I actually have an unexpired unopened bottle of TRUVADA which I obtained about a year ago as my last prescription. I didn't ever take it as I knew it was going to be a long time, if ever, before I could refill it. And I knew partners were going to be scarce to non-existent-so no real reason to keep taking a nephrotoxic drug. I'll probably throw that old bottle out. I think it's been kept in the proper temperature. But no reason to risk it having subpar potency. Oh and I signed up for the Gilead copay Assistance program today.

 

Did anyone hear that TRUVADA had gone generic? Is anyone on generic Truvada?

 

Gman

[marylander1940]

It's not a gay practice for one thing. And the blurb on the clinic website says he's married with three daughters. I realize none of that definitely says he isn't gay. But to me it's suggestive enough that I'll consider him straight until it's proven to the contrary.

 

The last time I lived in the Dallas area 8 years ago, I went to one of the more popular 'gay practices'. I'd like to go back to them. But their office is about 25 miles from where I'm living now. My neurologist is also about 25 miles away. I don't mind (as much) the neurologist being so far away because those are scheduled visits. But I'm more likely (mainly) going to be seeing my internist if I'm not feeling well. And if I'm not feeling well, I don't really want to drive 25 miles to get care.

 

As for letting him know I'm gay, it's a big step. As I said in the last post, I've let some physicians know in the past. But I think the only ones I've seen on a routine basis that I've told were all gay. The others were just occasional Urgent Care docs. I realize this is a no-brained for most of you. But when you've been closeted most of your life, this is a big deal. As of right now, I'm not exactly closeted. But I'm not really out. My closest relatives know. A few people from high school and college know although I'm not really in contact with them very much at the moment. And just about any social contacts I have currently have been thru the hook-up apps, so they are all gay or bisexual. And there haven't been many of those. I've probably met 6 guys since moving back to Dallas a year ago. And only one of those have I met a second time. And with that guy, the first was at a restaurant bar. The second time was at his house a week later. I think he was expecting sex. But my myasthenia gravis was acting up at that point (basically I was ill most of January and February). I was extremely short of breath due to the myasthenia affecting my diaphragm. Even talking in short sentences was making me breathless. I almost went to the ER three times for respiratory distress. But I improved enough each time, so I didn't go. The last episode where I thought I might have to go to the ER occurred while I was at his house. I left his place much sooner than either of us expected. I haven't talked with him since. So while I'm not completely open, due to my social circumstances, I'm not hiding from a lot of people.

 

Gman

 

Doctors are accustomed to deal with people like you and me. At your age if you’re not married you’re very likely to be gay. Don’t worry they know

[Guest]

If you feel you can't be honest with your doctor, you need a new doctor. As a wise patient once said to me "Never lie to your doctor or your lawyer." It's our job not to judge. I've had patients who were murders, rapists, and child molesters. The only patient I have trouble respecting is the patient who lies to me.

[+ WilliamM]

If you feel you can't be honest with your doctor, you need a new doctor. As a wise patient once said to me "Never lie to your doctor or your lawyer." It's our job not to judge. I've had patients who were murders, rapists, and child molesters. The only patient I have trouble respecting is the patient who lies to me.

 

In just two minutes, I can think of several reasons to not tell you the truth. Number one is a botched diagnosis from a doctor with whom you are close friends.

[Guest]

In just two minutes, I can think of several reasons to not tell you the truth. Number one is a botched diagnosis from a doctor with whom you are close friends.

??Why would I not want to know about a bad diagnosis?? Believe me, if the diagnosis is off-base, a good doctor will know soon enough. When a physician with whom I'm friendly "botches" a diagnosis, I send him a note. Why would a patient want an incorrect diagnosis in the chart? Everyone makes mistakes. It happens to me all of the time that I send notes to physicians (or NP's) letting them know they screwed up. It's part of improving one's practice. I hope others give me "love notes" if I screw up.