Denver added to the “Unofficial” list of cities with the most wind-up clients:

[Mocha]

wind-up

to tease, usually with some malice

He said he's meet her at 7 o'clock, but after she'd been standing in the rain for an hour she realised it was a wind-up

That’s a quick urban dictionary reference.

 

I’ve been compiling a list of cities where I find people have contacted me, but would result in a pattern of either no shows, or people who just contact but never get to the initial settting of the session, e.g. an address. Oftentimes, these aren’t just simply inquiries, but explicit fantasies and even arrangements, that aren’t followed thru.

 

I’ve recently added Denver, as I’d not advertised there for over a year. But a recent advertising in the area over the course of 2 weeks, I was marking off on average 4-6 text pests per week, or about 1 per day.

 

Here’s my top 10 list (though in no particular level):

 

1. Miami/Ft Lauderdale

2. Denver

3. Nashville (recently evolved wind up city)

4. Tampa/Orlando

5. Jacksonville (notice all the Florida cities?)

6. Atlanta

7. Kansas City

8. Charlotte

9. Columbus, OH

10. San Diego

 

Here’s a list of “could become” OR “have been” wind up cities:

1. Washington, DC

2. Portland, OR

3. Los Angeles

4. Las Vegas

5. Boston

6. Dallas

7. Indianapolis

8. Orlando

 

Here’s a list of redeemed wind up cities (areas that were wind ups, but have shown signs of improvement:

1. Chicago

2. Dallas

3. Raleigh

4. Pittsburgh

5. St. Louis (which I may be relocating to)

[Mocha]

As an postscript, I am noticing many cities are on the list, probably wouldn’t have 10 years ago. It makes me wonder, is it becoming a norm in this post craigslist and Grindr era? I say because CL seemed to keep the fantasists busy: Repressed/closeted men could scroll thru, exchange lewd conversations by reply or post ads anonymously and stop responding anytime. Now, the only place to do that is with providers who’s numbers are posted. Then you have Grindr, the Uber/McDonalds of gay sex in which men are essentially using the app mentality to contact escorts, and In between all this madness is the adult providers who I feel we are dealing with a bit of both worlds.

 

I’m also trying to come up with ways to limit my “accessibility” thru texts, without diminishing my prospects. Part of me is considering going on a temporary hiatus, and only accepting clients who book thru a system: part of which may include some sort of upfront payment. However, I know many new clients have stories of being “burned” paying upfront, so there’s some who won’t...regardless of earned reputation.

 

I think the biggest reason for the increase is texting has made us so accessible. I do find asking specific questions, and ensuring I receive specific answers back helps determine who’s more real. But now, people are sending photos of themselves, and still turn out to be flakes. And the ones who seem sketchy, are turning out to be quite legitimate clients.

 

As I get older and more experienced, I’m finding I have lower tolerance. I don’t allow clients “2 or 3 strikes” to flake out. I used to let them do it once or twice, then they’d do right, only to come around and do it again. Now, they have 1 time to flake, and it’s cancel fee or end of relationship. At the same time, I know some clients do come around later...so I try to keep the relationship. If they were truly going to pay but have to cancel, there shouldn’t be an issue leaving a part of what was agreed on.

 

That said, I still like and prefer texting than the call nowadays. Regardless, I still feel I need to do more than what I’m doing to bring some order into it.

 

It’s important to note, all the cities on the list have brought great clients. So its not insinuating all of the cities aren’t worth visiting. Even in Denver, I had gathered new and previous clients on the recent ad run. It’s just the reality of certain cities, and wind ups can detract from the overall outlook. It’s less stressful to go to a city and meet 2 clients with 0 flakes, than to have 4 clients in a city with 20 flakes.

Edited February 20, 2019 by Mocha

[hypothetically]

I mean this with all due respect. But historically..all your post have the same tone. (Lions and tigers and flakes oh my). Maybe you should retire. This is not my experience, at all.

[Mocha]

I mean this with all due respect. But historically..all your post have the same tone. (Lions and tigers and flakes oh my). Maybe you should retire. This is not my experience, at all.

 

If you want to pay me in $USD what I see in a year so I can retire, by all means.

 

But I don’t plan to for now as I still have a good following. But you say you’re in France, wouldn’t you think your experiences would be different there than here in the states? I would love to come to France: Paris, Cologne, Cognac...some Courvoisier here, a little Chanel there. I’m sure they appreciate fine, grown n sexy Black men like ourselves.

 

You also state you had not the best experiences on Adam4Adam. I have had several clients from there. 2 just the other day in one of the cities that aren’t on the lists. Perhaps it’s a case of YRMV.

Edited February 23, 2019 by Mocha

[hypothetically]

If you want to pay me in $USD what I see in a year so I can retire, by all means.

 

But I don’t plan to for now as I still have a good following. But you say you’re in France, wouldn’t you think your experiences would be different there than here in the states? I would love to come to France: Paris, Cologne, Cognac...some Courvoisier here, a little Chanel there. I’m sure they appreciate fine, grown n sexy Black men like ourselves.

 

You also state you had not the best experiences on Adam4Adam. I have had several clients from there. 2 just the other day in one of the cities that aren’t on the lists. Perhaps it’s a case of YRMV.

 

Yes, I am in France but had lived in the states up until December. New York, Miami, DMV area. My experiences and commentary on the subjects are valid.

 

I say travel and work anywhere where your fellow providers do not look like you, you stand out, you draw attention on the grid.

 

I never communicated I had a bad experience on A4A, I simply do not think it is a productive/monetary portal for connecting with clients (I’m speaking for myself). I pride myself on working with a very specific client and that has warranted success (for me). That client is not on A4A, period.

[+ oldNbusted]

DMV area.

 

What? Must have missed you.

 

I pride myself on working with a very specific client

 

I'm a client who is very specific, does that count?

[Mocha]

Yes, I am in France but had lived in the states up until December. New York, Miami, DMV area. My experiences and commentary on the subjects are valid.

 

I say travel and work anywhere where your fellow providers do not look like you, you stand out, you draw attention on the grid.

 

I never communicated I had a bad experience on A4A, I simply do not think it is a productive/monetary portal for connecting with clients (I’m speaking for myself). I pride myself on working with a very specific client and that has warranted success (for me). That client is not on A4A, period.

 

Ok, you only named 3 east coast cities on the top 10 list...Therefore your experience only covers those areas. So, what are you trying to tell me here?

 

But like I said, don’t get me wrong. Even though Washington DC is on the second list, it’s also one of my favorite and productive destinations. But my latest trip in May 2018 proved to have quite a bit of wind ups, even when I was conveniently staying at the Westin Convention center for 2 days out of the 2 weeks I was there. Previous trips have also included a bit of winding up here and there.

 

I also first dipped into the escort pool in Miami back in 2007/2008. At that time, it was much more productive than it is now. I still go there once every 2-3 years and for the most part....though free sex is plenty to be had, being a gay male escort is a sort of a different scenario. I just know when I was there for a week back in November, people would contact and seem to set up a visit, only to fade into oblivion.

 

With that said, I do find there’s cities where I stand out more, usually are productive.

[Mocha]

I never communicated I had a bad experience on A4A, I simply do not think it is a productive/monetary portal for connecting with clients (I’m speaking for myself). I pride myself on working with a very specific client and that has warranted success (for me). That client is not on A4A, period.

 

A4A is simply another platform. Nothing more or less. The same client looking at Rentmen can also look at a4a. I had it happen just the other day. One guy hit me up on RM, then he told me he seen me on A4A.

 

I also go for very specific clients as well, and am very discerning. But, it doesn’t make a client any different whether he looks at Adam or Rentmen. Obviously a4a isn’t going to be a primary site to find clients, and I don’t blame some people for refraining from using it, but like I said...it’s just another platform.

 

It’s kind of like how Mercedes and Jaguar dealers still advertise on Craigslist, even though majority of craigslist lookers are likely low ballers.

[hypothetically]

There are a lot of details here. I think the message I was trying to get across was clear. I wish you the best of luck if you continue to stay in this line of work.

[Walker1]

:po_O:D

[Mocha]

There are a lot of details here. I think the message I was trying to get across was clear. I wish you the best of luck if you continue to stay in this line of work.

 

In all earnesty, you’ve bought some useful tips and it sounds like you are knowledgeable about the biz. But I don’t see a message coming across pretty clear, other than you disagreeing with certain cities being mostly unreliable for finding reliable clients. It’s not lions and tigers and bears like you mocked earlier, it’s suggestive material that could help other escorts/clients either prepare or avoid certain markets (flaky clients usually mean flaky escorts too). I’ve heard far many times people optimistically traveling to a city with high hopes, only to have them dashed.

 

At the same time, let’s set aside “luck” as I haven’t needed to depend on luck to stay in this line of work for the length of time that I already have. I’m not out here scouring for clients, they’re calling and texting me.

 

I may not be able to explain why certain areas behave a particular way, but I just know from the stats, that it’s facts. You may say your results were different, but I don’t know that. When were they different? 2008, 2010, 2019? Lot of markets have changed since then. Maybe you have a different threshold for flakes than me. I just know my experiences are real, and can’t be discounted.

 

Despite the few good clients who outweigh the flakes in those areas, there’s still many situations I’ve had in certain cities that leave me scratching my head wondering, why would that person do that? If they have an issue with what I do, and express that thru booking an appointment and purposely not showing up, it makes me question what it would be had they shown up.