Have You Ever Been A Pallbearer?

[+ Avalon]

I only have when I worked for a mortuary many years ago. I think now the casket is placed on a gurney so the casket can be wheeled. But it wasn't so when I was working. It was tough going sometimes!

[+ VictorPowers]

Yes. Last year I lost a close friend. I was honored to be a pallbearer. Once we arrived at the gravesite, we had to carry it. At the service it was on the cart.

[+ bashful]

Yes. Over 30 years ago. I still think about her.

[+ g56whiz]

Yea and it was a shoulder carry in a packed church. It’s popular priest was in the casket. He was a good friend for many years. It was scary. I was afraid making an uncoordinated move and of crying. Not sure which frightened me more.

[TruthBTold]

Yes. For friends in the 80s then someone 10 years ago.

[MikeBiDude]

Yes, many times

[jawjateck]

Yep. Done that a few times. Even eulogized the deceased a couple of times at the request of family.

[+ g56whiz]

Yep. Done that a few times. Even eulogized the deceased a couple of times at the request of family.

Been there: done that too.

 

When I think about all the funerals I went to during the plague of 1989/1990 (I lost count at 25) I’m sorta surprised I didn’t do either more often. But then again given the circumstances most were memorial gatherings outside of churches.

[+ HornyRetiree]

Yes, and in a country cemetary where we pallbearers had to lower the casket into the grave with straps!

[BigK]

Yes... They gave us all white gloves.

[RM]

Yes, only one. It was for a co-worker I didn't really know too well quite a few years ago. He died from AIDS.

[Dave]

Yeah. I carried my friend's body to the burning grounds in Bali, a few years ago.

 

An hour or so before that, she was washed naked in front of hundreds, in a ritual carried out by a Balinese priest. He then decorated her body with flowers and small objects (like broken mirrors on her eyes), and sprinkled holy water on her. At that point her husband, her sister-in-law, myself, and two others bound her body in white fabric, then sarongs, and then a sort of human "basket" made of palms. We put her into a casket, also made of palm, and along with five other men, I carried her to the cremation site. On the way, at a road intersection, we had to turn around in circles, raucously, to confuse the gods...

 

Eventually we got to the grounds, and some flammable liquid was doused on her. I held her five year old son while she burned, and - here's where it got rather surreal for me - several Balinese came up to him and said something that translated as, "Look, Surya.. there's Mama!" and "Bye, Mama!", as she became engulfed in flames.

 

And, oh, you can't cry at funerals in Bali, lest the evil spirits see that. Same reason we twist and turn the corpse at intersections. For if the gods know there's a dead human - she's in a vulnerable position - and they may keep her soul from going on to a better resting place. This is where Hindu Karma meets Animism and life in Bali is both about the seen and the unseen. "Sekala/Niskala"

 

Writing this out here... is a little cathartic. Of course, I still miss her terribly. But I think most posters here would say that about those for whom they've been pallbearers.

[+ g56whiz]

Yeah. I carried my friend's body to the burning grounds in Bali, a few years ago.

 

An hour or so before that, she was washed naked in front of hundreds, in a ritual carried out by a Balinese priest. He then decorated her body with flowers and small objects (like broken mirrors on her eyes), and sprinkled holy water on her. At that point her husband, her sister-in-law, myself, and two others bound her body in white fabric, then sarongs, and then a sort of human "basket" made of palms. We put her into a casket, also made of palm, and along with five other men, I carried her to the cremation site. On the way, at a road intersection, we had to turn around in circles, raucously, to confuse the gods...

 

Eventually we got to the grounds, and some flammable liquid was doused on her. I held her five year old son while she burned, and - here's where it got rather surreal for me - several Balinese came up to him and said something that translated as, "Look, Surya.. there's Mama!" and "Bye, Mama!", as she became engulfed in flames.

 

And, oh, you can't cry at funerals in Bali, lest the evil spirits see that. Same reason we twist and turn the corpse at intersections. For if the gods know there's a dead human - she's in a vulnerable position - and they may keep her soul from going on to a better resting place. This is where Hindu Karma meets Animism and life in Bali is both about the seen and the unseen. "Sekala/Niskala"

 

Writing this out here... is a little cathartic. Of course, I still miss her terribly. But I think most posters here would say that about those for whom they've been pallbearers.

Thank you @Dave for sharing.