Warrior sex, and what is "real" sex, and is it unmasculine to be a bottom, and so what if it is?

[indyeric]

In a thread in "Ask an Escort," OceanTraveler asked,

 

"Have any escorts been familiarized with heroic homosex or Warrior sex ? This is phallic to phallic sex where dueling phallics become mating phallics This is the ultimate masculinity with two men who are dominate , sensitive , powerful , and erotic and who try to subdue each other only to end up mating with each other cock to cock. They become frot men and cockrub warriors !!! The kissing , rubbing , hugging , and masculine foreplay are HOT !!! Anyone know about this or am I the only one looking for new heights of male to male sexuality and sensuality?"

 

There wasn't much response. I checked out the links from http://www.man2manalliance.org. I was intrigued by some of these ideas:

 

"The Man2Man Alliance is a coalition of gay, bi, and straight-identified men determined to win recognition from both gay and straight society of the genuineness of their feelings for one another; and of the validity of the expression of that affection through Frot, phallus-on-phallus sex, which is not only life-affirming and masculine but mindful of both participants' shared mutual enjoyment.

 

"This Man2Man Alliance website, then, and our affiliated Heroic Homosex and Frot Men domains, are advocacy sites, dedicated to putting forth the truth that two men can have a physically and emotionally loving relationship without any surrender or sacrifice of either's masculinity.

 

"This central premise flies in the face of beliefs cherished by both the dominant heterosexual and homosexual cultures.

 

"Straight (heterosexual) culture defines men within the confines of a narrow and sterile idea of how men should relate to one another, both emotionally and physically. Too often, heterosexual men are taught that any physical bonding with another man that involves sex or emotion automatically brands them as something less than a man.

 

"While gay male culture has become obsessed with anal sex, incessantly asserting that anal is the ultimate expression of erotic contact between men, and that no sexual encounter is complete unless it culminates in an act of anal penetration.

 

"Yet the erotic pleasure in anal penetration is so minimal, and, when joined with promiscuity, the dangers anal presents to its practitioners and the community so great, that it's difficult to conceive of a practice more ruinous or less enjoyable taking center place in a sexual subculture."

 

Comments:

 

1) Gee. I don't find that being a bottom in anal sex is so minimally pleasurable. And lots of guys share this view. Why else would (as it seems) 99% of gay men be bottoms (at least when I am looking for a top!)?

 

2) But here is an interesting question: is it becoming the case in gay culture that some perceive "that no sexual encounter is complete unless it culminates in an act of anal penetration"? I had the delightful opportunity to have (free) sex with a 19-year-old college student a few weeks ago (I'm 47--yes, miracles do happen) and he said he likes oral and mutual j/o but prefers "real sex" by which he meant anal sex. And he said it in a way gave me the definite impression that this is how other guys his age are thinking. Now, I never, ever have thought of oral sex as something other than "real" sex when I was his age. Or ever! If oral sex isn't sex, what have I been doing all these years?

 

3) Is being the bottom/receptive partner in anal or oral sex in its essence a surrender or sacrifice of one's "masculinity"? It doesn't always feel that way to me.

 

4) Even if it is, or experienced that way at times, so what? I love opening myself to the feminine in me. I love feeling dominated by a man. I love that experience of surrender. Why feel one has to always be masculine?

 

5) Not that I have anything against the actual activity being promoted as a sexual option! But how many of us can get off just by frotting, anyway?

 

--Eric (looking for the right guy to surrender my masculinity to)

 

 

:-)

[Greathands]

My partner, who is in his early 20's, also thinks that "sex" without anal isn't really "sex". And I, in my early 40's, believe that mutual masturbation can be considered "sex".

[JT Brooklyn]

God Bless The "Flip Floppers" of the World!

 

"Giving & Taking" is becoming more and more popular,as can be seen by the Large Amount of Guys now doing it in Videos!

 

Personally I never thought there was alot of Hotness in a Guy, whose Idea of Great Sex, is to get a Blow Job & Bend you over! LOL :P

[indyeric]

>My partner, who is in his early 20's, also thinks that "sex"

>without anal isn't really "sex". And I, in my early 40's,

>believe that mutual masturbation can be considered "sex".

 

Now that I think about it, I intellectually "believe" mutual masturbation can be considered "sex" but in real life I often feel like it isn't--that somehow it is an admission of failure for me to get the other guy off orally, or for him to get me off orally, or for one of us to be hard long enough to fuck the other, or whatever.

 

(It is VERY rare that someone can't get me off orally!)

 

So I guess I've tended to relate to oral and anal both as "real" sex but mutual or simultaneous j/o as "not quite" sex.

 

Then there are all these straight kids who only consider penis-in-vagina sex to be "sex," so blow jobs and masturbation and anal sex don't count as "sex." That way you can have gotten fucked in the ass 100 times and given 300 blow jobs but you are still a virgin the day you get married (praise Jesus!).

 

So I suppose the gay male equivalent is that it's not real sex unless there's butt fucking involved.

 

Now that there are an increasing number of gay teens who are Christian, and going to MCC churches and whatever, I wonder if gay Christian teen guys think of saving themselves for a life partner and then consider themselves virgins if they've only participated in blow jobs, mutual j/o, and frottage, because only anal sex is really sex?

 

I think I'm thinking too much. Too much time in the matrix.

 

--Eric

[+ deej]

>is it becoming the case in gay culture that some perceive "that no

>sexual encounter is complete unless it culminates in an act of anal

>penetration"?

 

It's not just gay culture. This has actually been in the news recently. (Poor Katie Couric was shocked! ;-)) Young people today don't consider a blowjob having sex. More and more young women (and men) are sucking cock where they used to just be doing heavy petting.

 

This social trend certainly worked in Bill Clinton's favor!

[Rick Munroe]

For me, sex can be fucking or just hugging and kissing passionately or any number of things. It's Derek and me pissing on a submissive guy, or engaging in an erotic 3-way kiss or sucking a guy's cock together. I have one regular who licks my feet for 2 hours; for him, that's sex (and it sure feels fucking great to me, too). As far as I am concerned, cumming is great and I love to cum and am not the type to hold back, but I also do not consider it "unsuccessful sex" if my partner or I do not cum. And I definitely don't think fucking is the definition of sex. Sometimes I give Derek a deep massage and he says that it is better than sex but I think that that, too, is sex. It's all sex. The only thing that, in my world, is not sex is "I Love Lucy." But even then, I could change my mind.

 

And bottoms are the true men because they can take pain. ;-)

[Guest zipperzone]

>It's not just gay culture. This has actually been in the news

>recently. (Poor Katie Couric was shocked! ;-)) Young people

>today don't consider a blowjob having sex. More and more young

>women (and men) are sucking cock where they used to just be

>doing heavy petting.

>

>This social trend certainly worked in Bill Clinton's favor!

 

And it must be giving Geo. W. a migraine.

[indyeric]

And can you get off just by frottage?

 

The warrior-sex mindset sounds like it could be a hot scene. But I haven't been able to get off just from rubbing my dick on another guy since I was in my early twenties, perhaps a touch earlier.

 

--Eric

[uwsman2]

Sex is any activity that provides sensual pleasure. Bill Clinton was wrong. Oral sex is.... SEX! In fact, having a hot guy lightly stroking your arms while kissing you is sex. So is lightly licking a guy's nipples. Anything that turns you on erotically, generates pleasurable sensations, is sex. It doesn't have to be about screwing. In 30 years of having "gay sex," some of my most pleasurable memories are of activities that many would classify as "foreplay" rather than "sex," but to me it's all sex. Including hugging a naked man and squeezing tight. Oh my!

[Rod Hagen]

Anal sex is the Alpha and Omega for me. Everything else is (fun) foreplay.

[Guest DickHo]

Ditto...and it's molto pleasurable for me.