Markmark

It sounds like you’re at somewhat of a crossroads and having to make some tough choices about how you spend your time—I feel for you. Hopefully some providers can shed some light on your unique circumstances, certainly I can’t claim to understand or relate as a client/9-to-5’er. I do hope I can provide some small amount of perspective as someone making some similar decisions. If we leave out all of the complications that come out of your particular field of work and how that affects your relationships (hopefully that’s where the rest of the community can help!), I want to address one fundamental aspect: should you devote more of your life to your work, and focus on building the relationships you created through your work. For a long time I lived at one extreme. I devoted nearly my entire life to my work and the only relationships I had came from my work. Honestly it feels so easy and comfortable and convenient to live like that. I don’t have to take risks or experience charged social situations or make life-altering decisions or risk my career. The result though after years of that life is that it’s all pretty much a meaningless blur. The more I focused on my work the less time I had to do memorable things that made life worth living. I never built many truly meaningful deep relationships that were independent from my work where I could really share what I was going through personally. Ironically, the more time I spent at work the less productive I was. Ever since then I’ve been clawing my way out of this hole. I work a sane number of hours and then completely disconnect so I’m not checking email/thinking about it all night. It’s still difficult to make friends outside of work because all I know how to talk about is my work, but that motivates me to do more with my life and create memories that last. And that’s not to say I don’t still have really important close relationships with people I know through my work, but that’s no longer 100% of my life. Ultimately I love my work and it sounds like you do too, but it can also contribute a lot of stress and anxiety. Maintaining boundaries between work and life and creating unique memories is worth it even when it’s hard and uncomfortable and messy at times. Oh, and one more thing specifically about relationships with clients. I happen to be good friends with a provider, and sometimes we have sessions and other times we just hang out. No matter how comfortable I am with him and how close and meaningful our relationship is, regularly exchanging money and the social imbalance that creates will always weigh on my mind. I trust and respect him, but I’ll never truly know if the way he treats me is influenced by the money he wants from me.

Definitely retouched or a look-a-like. I got him on vid chat and just ignored the photos he sent.

He’s fairly attractive and quite skilled, but not muscular like the photos.

Occasionally I see fake provider profiles on RM, some obviously so and others not so much. I’m curious, what’s the end game for these people? Are they trying to show up and assault/rob a client? Just trying to string people along for their own entertainment? Some sort of blackmail setup? Something else? Additionally, what are some common sense ways clients can protect themselves from this sort of thing?