Anthony_Driller

We live in a society in which racism is institutionalized - it pervades everything. Given that, of course it will find it's way into male-on-male sex work. Perfectly well meaning clients will, by reflex, treat a black provider differently - because they have been programmed to do so, not because they have any animus toward the black provider.
 
My heart is completely in the right place with respect to questions on race. In spite of that, I monitor myself carefully in interactions with people of color because those unconscious biases can suddenly make themselves known - they may even seem quite innocent at the time. For example, some months ago I was talking with the branch manager of my bank - an American-born Chinese. He speaks several languages - Japanese, Mandarin and Cantonese. I commented that I really liked the sound of Mandarin when it was being spoken by an American who knew it well better than the sound of a native speaker. It occurred to me later that that was sort of a tone-deaf remark - throwing shade on an entire language that only sounded good when it was being spoken by Americans.
 
I hired a black provider a while ago and met him at his hotel. When I arrived, he wasn't quite ready and texted me to wait in the lobby for ten minutes. I was annoyed and would have been annoyed if a white provider had asked me to do the same thing. But later, I thought my irritation was way out of proportion to what had happened, and was willing to examine whether that was an unconscious racial bias popping up.
 
I was deeply affected by an episode of Geraldo that aired in the late 80s. The topic was racism. He had a panel of black guys - academics, therapists, that sort of person. The panel was taking questions from the audience and a young white guy stood up and talked about how wracked with guilt he was about his own unconscious racism and didn't know what he could do about it. One of the panelists responded, "It's not your fault. You are a product of a racist system so you can't help but be racist." He also said, "I'm a product of the same system, so I have all of those unconscious biases that you do, and I'm black." So each and every one of has the responsibility to decide whether we are going to be used by these impulsive biases or whether to exercise the self-awareness that allows us to act another way.

With talks about social injustice and race being more frequent, I couldn’t help but wonder myself. Sometimes I wonder if the way the Black community is portrayed and stigmatized, has a direct affect on how things in the hired gay sex community may differ between a White escort and a Black escort.
 
A common scene in many American cities (especially disenfranchised or towns of great wealth disparity in Midwest and south), you go to an inner city area. Oftentimes you’ll see a person of color (or Black, to be more specific) in a seemingly down on their luck position, holding a sign. I also overheard today, in Kansas City (a town in my opinion is Sadly stereotypical and eagerly segregate themselves in the process) what sounded like a heated outdoor argument at a nearby car wash. Of course, it had to be with Black congregating ??‍♂️
 
Then you have the protests. I seen sometimes the comments on articles, about how “Blacks will start looting” and such. With everything going on, I began to wonder if the headaches I deal with some days is a by product of how people stereotype and view the black community.
 
I often get a vibe that when a White guy is escorting or has a sugar daddy, they’re viewed as smart and lucky. Yet when a Black guy does the same thing, they’re viewed as lazy and can’t do nothing better with their lives. Double standards so to speak. Then some of our clients who support us, end up harboring some of the same mindsets, and then no wonder why lately, so many appointments get cancelled, flaked, no shower and no reimbursed.
 
I wish there was an easier way to change it. Sometimes I wonder if clients understand we aren’t all the same. There was a White escort who once asked me, “do you think you deal with more flakes than other people?” And I said, I probably do. I probably do. The same White (or non black) guy my caliber is probably dealing with far less nonsense and tripe than your Black escort of the same caliber. And I think it’s a lot to do with the constant negative connotations put out, whether its being “ghetto” or “poor” or “dangerous”. And I think it has an effect that we may not always be aware of. What’s obvious, a good majority of “our” supporting clients aren’t usually of the same ethnicity. However I did notice on my last trip to DC...I went from having only non black clients, to having a bit more variety. But the overall amount of white clients was noticeably less.
 
Fact or Fiction?