Kevin Slater

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair. Kevin Slater

There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each $5000 and see how each of them spent it. The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much." The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much." The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much." Which one does he decide to marry? The one with the biggest tits. Kevin Slater

It's difficult to apply a discrete set of logic to a complex legacy such as Social Security-- no one party sat down, thought it out, and came up with the system. That being said, I'd guess that one reason might be that Social Security is commonly viewed as a forced savings plan: government takes from your wages and gives that money back to you in your golden years. Presumably, after your first ~$110k, you can be trusted to invest the rest of your own dollars. Social Security is merely insuring a safety net, not your complete retirement plan. That only earned income (wages) is taxed and unearned income (dividends, interest, capital gains) is not might support that interpretation. Personally, I'd rather Big Brother get the hell out of my retirement planning, but that's just one of many political views that would make me unelectable. Kevin Slater

There is no maximum contribution limit (or cap) for Medicare. Only Social Security is capped at $110,100. Kevin Slater

That sounds about right to me. Then again, it wouldn't be terribly hard to identify who that top 10% might be, and going after them might be very worthwhile. But I suspect IRS finds tax cheats not from culling successful escorts, but from spending and deposit patterns unsupported by tax returns, regardless of the source of the income. For what it's worth, I've read that the IRS estimates 57% of self-employment income goes unreported. (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/02/magazine/02wwln_freak.html?pagewanted=print&_r=0) Kevin Slater

I would encourage you to look into starting some form of investmenting today. At your age, an annual contribution to an IRA, whether Roth or traditional, will make a huge difference later on. The younger you start, the longer compound interest has to work in your favor, and now is the best time to establish good savings habits. In general, the tax structure is extremely favorable for those with modest incomes who manage to save even a little. If you do decide to explore a bit, one simple, easy to read book to cover the basics is The Elements of Investing. http://www.amazon.com/The-Elements-Investing-Burton-Malkiel/dp/0470528494 Kevin Slater

The home office deduction is dicey. You have to have a completely separate space that is only used for work. I doubt most masseurs have space that qualifies. Kevin Slater

For the past few years and including 2012, it's even bigger than that. The employee-paid and employer paid contributions had always been equal at 6.2%, but the 2010 Tax Relief Act reduced FICA withholding for all employees by two basis points. Because the self-employed deduct the employer portion when determining your AGI, they get to deduct 6.2 of the 10.4%, or nearly 60% of what they pay into FICA. The overall tax hit is still substantial and entirely regressive, though. Kevin Slater

I should hope they do, just like any other sole proprietor would, which means they pay both portions (the employer and employee contributions) to Medicare (2.9% of all their earnings) and FICA (social security) (10.4% on the first $110,100 in income). Most regular employees see 4.2% of their wages taxed for social security but don't realize that their employers are also contributing another 6.2%; self-employed folk have to pay both portions. Here in NYC, there's also a state income tax, a city income tax, the Metropolitan Commuter Transportation Mobility Tax, and an Unincorporated Business Tax. Kevin Slater

Don't worry about her; she made the next flight. I know, I was sitting in front of her for six hours. Kevin Slater

What do you name a midget Mexican prostitute? Consuelo Kevin Slater

Hehe. Nothing like sending a text saying you're teaching the dog to felch. Kevin Slater

A buddy of mine who offers strictly legit massage purposefully uses (stock) photos with women to emphasize the non-sexual nature of the massage. Kevin Slater

What's the difference between a circus and the Rockettes? One is a cunning array of stunts... Kevin Slater

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer? A rooster clucks defiance... Kevin Slater

This is a good instance of when you'd want to search rentboy by phone number. http://www.rentboy.com slash number, in this case http://www.rentboy.com/9177230166 . Kevin Slater

That was a reach. Kevin Slater

The only time Rifkin and his wife experienced a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge handed them their divorce. (Woody Allen, Husbands and Wives) Kevin Slater

As youth, we always tried to convince the other kids to put "M" if they were going to grow up to become a mother and "F" if they were going to grow up to be a father. Kevin Slater

You might try Edinson (formerly Marcello, formerly Edin...), Ryan Raz or Joey (formerly Aussie Joey), all on rentboy. I've never been with Abel Rey (that is, unless he used to go by Mario (Marlon?) Vega or something like that, in which case I have, and recommend him even more heartily), but he looks incredibly rimmable. Let us know how it goes! Kevin Slater

Ah shit. There's more: "The doctor had to remove my left ventricle," said Tom half-heartedly. "Elvis is dead," said Tom expressly. (Took me a minute.) "You must be my host," Tom guessed. "I've only enough carpet for the hall and landing," said Tom with a blank stare. "Don't let me drown in Egypt!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial. "I'm going to end it all," Sue sighed. "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank. "I love hot dogs," said Tom with relish. "I won't finish in fifth place," Tom held forth. Kevin Slater

Ah, Tom Swifties! From wikipedia: * "We'll have to amputate," the surgeon said off-handedly. * "Can I go looking for the Grail again?" Tom requested. * "I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner," Tom said succinctly. * "They had to amputate them both at the ankles," Tom said defeatedly. * "Who discovered radium?" asked Marie curiously. * "Would you like to ride in my new ambulance?" asked Tom hospitably. * "Who put the moss in the bog again?" asked Tom repeatedly. Kevin Slater

The owners of Cafeteria opened a new restaurant, Delicatessen, in SoHo (54 Prince Street). It truly achieves what Cafeteria was trying for: a great dining space and good food. Cafeteria strikes me as a little tired by now; Delicatessen, on the other hand, has a great open-air space and a fun staff with far less attitude. Kevin Slater

I love the Dish (especially when Theo waits on me) and eat there maybe three times a week, but agree that it may be a little low-brow for what Josh is looking for. But you get a great view of the avenue from upstairs if you sit at the front, especially if the garage door/wall is up. Rocking Horse across the avenue is a lot more festive, but I'm not sure how well it handles crowds. There's also an interesting paella place on 19th Street between 7th and 8th. Kevin Slater

Forgive the inane topic. Perhaps twice a month I get an email from a prospective client asking if I have any pics of my feet. I do not. After another such email today I got curious. On the first three pages of Rentboy in Manhattan, six guys have pics highlighting their feet; some guys have several pics showing only their feet. The more creative ones have the guy lying stomach-down, showing the soles of his feet with sexy legs leading up to a cute little ass. Having always concerned myself with the market for inches, now I'm curious about the market for feet. Given that you can only post so many pics on the site, is it worth devoting one to your feet? Would it turn off guys not into feet? I've had quite a few clients either suck my toes or take my entire foot in their mouth (bravo!) and am surprised how great it feels, but have never thought of my feet as anything special. I used to get emails asking my shoe size and ignorantly thought this was a coy way of asking how big my dick is (sometimes I ain't so bright); luckily the same number answers for both. So I just pulled out the camera and tried a few foot shots. Umm, I think I need a friend's help to make it sexy. Do I want to get a pedicure first or does that lessen the appeal? Perhaps there's just one foot fetishist out there who emails us working boys so often we've all been tricked into posting jack-off material for him? Thoughts? Kevin Slater