I cannot thank everyone enough for all the responses, advice, and most importantly, support. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I'm starting to make a concerted effort to 'change' because the status quo isn't working and if anything, is making things worse.
In the short term, I'm planning on putting my physical well-being at the top of the list - taking care of myself on a consistent basis - diet, exercise, sleep, seeing all doctors again. I have decided to explore TMS (magnetic therapy) to try to displace my physical depression.
For now, long term can wait.