Balthazar

Although you mentioned erotic massage, you might have better luck with this topic in the Deli. It sounds like you're largely looking for an enjoyable bottoming experience. I would recommend finding an escort who tops and also has some massage skills (e.g., via rentmen). If you're using the massage mostly as foreplay, the provider doesn't necessarily need to have really strong skills. Now if you want a solid massage that leads into sex, you might want to find someone who both advertises as a masseur and an escort. You'll want to be upfront with what you're looking for to make sure you and the provider are a good match. Not everyone is skilled at balancing being dominant while also caring for their sex partner. It's okay to be nervous. I think a lot of guys feel some anxiety during their first time. Good luck!