New to this board (discovered this post-CL) and laughed at these stories.
Mine is funny (and painful).
I visited a masseur in NYC. It was the winter, and I went to his place in an old walk-up. Because we don't have those old school heaters, I didn't know what it was. After my massage I was still nude and we were making small talk. I was getting dressed and sat on the heater, badly burning my rear. I yelped and grabbed a pipe on a wall, which was also burning hot. It was like an "Itchy and Scratchy" cartoon. I left with burns on my butt and hand.