bostonman

My parents had a copy of My Secret Life - right in the bookshelf, yet! (We had a huge collection of books in the basement recroom.) An odd book (a young British boy's very graphic coming-of-age story, written as a sort of memoir), but yeah, I was secretly reading it. They also had Naked Lunch, which wasn't really porn, but had some sex scenes in it. This was around 13 or so, I think - though I was developing as one would expect, I was a late bloomer in terms of orgasm (not until the summer after I turned 14), But there was a part in My Secret Life where the (basically straight) boy describes watching a friend jerk off (the first time he saw someone cum), and later, a part where he describes his own first ejaculation. I must have read those sections millions of times lol.

Oh yes - those letters sections were fun, plus my dad's little collection was mostly porn novels, rather than picture stuff. And those could be extra fun because it wasn't just about the sex - it was the story and the characters, etc. Maybe that's why I developed an interest in roleplay, lol. (And yes, that collection did contain some bi/gay stuff. My dad and I did later have a bit of a talk where he admitted to some gay feelings and experimentation with a friend in college. But it's not something I feel he's ever been that comfortable talking about, so I've never pressed him on it. That's his private business.)

Yeah - my dad had Playboys, and that was not a secret for me and my brother (I guess he didn't mind if we saw them). He did have a stash of more hard-core porn in the attic, and I discovered them by accident once when I was looking for something up there. My teen years then became a game, where my parents then put a padlock on the attic door, but I kept finding where they would hide the key...

I wish I could say the same for the first time with Tim, but if we had had more time or if we had pursued things more, I think Tim would have turned me into an expert, lol. I remember this like it was yesterday... The "truth or dare" game started with daring each other to strip (we were in my bedroom, with my parents and younger brother home, so there was always the risk of being caught lol) - I went first, and then he took his clothes off. That's when I really got a chance to see and touch that big boner in person, lol. Actually, I remember him sitting on the edge of the bed stroking himself a little, then he dared - "blow me." I actually had to ask him what that was, though I kind of knew. I remember he stood up against the closed door (it didn't lock, maybe he was worried someone might try to come in) and I instinctively knelt down. I held his cock with fingers of both hands. It was so warm. I remember commenting on how big it was, and he urged me to put my mouth on it. My problem was - I *didn't* get the concept that you weren't supposed to literally suck on it lol. But I guess whatever I was doing felt good because he let me do it for what seemed like a minute or so. Then suddenly he stopped me. (I was a late bloomer at 13 and wasn't shooting off yet - but did I get him close, or did he just feel we should stop before being found out? I don't know.) Then of course I asked him to blow me. I didn't want to stand at the door - instead, even at this early point I kind of knew I wanted to be on the bed for sex lol. So I sat on the bed and he kneeled in front of me. And THAT'S when I learned how you were supposed to give a blow job - he did the classic up-and-down the shaft motion with his mouth. (Where did he learn that, lol?) And then, probably after a minute or so (with me in heaven, lol), he pulled off and we got dressed. Later, I remember being outside, with him and both families (as his parents had come to pick him up.) I remember standing by the car, with only one thought on my mind. I desperately wanted to ask Tim if we could do all of that again sometime. But I was too hesitant - was I afraid he'd say no, or was I too ashamed of what we had done, etc? I don't know. And although I don't remember breaking the friendship off at any point, I also don't seem to remember getting together with him again. Or maybe we did - but the opportunity to fool around wasn't there. Not sure. But I'll never forget that first naive attempt at sucking Tim's dick - and his subsequent showing me how it's really supposed to be done, lol.

Ah, yes...I remember him well.

...which just reminded me of something. Sometime in my early teens my parents bought me a jockstrap - I wasn't any kind of athlete but I think they thought I should wear it under my swim trunks in the summer. Anyway, the package it came in had a hot model on the front, wearing nothing but the jock, and I remember looking at it and jerking off to it. (I also seem to remember that a few days later I found the box in the trash - my mom probably had no reason to think we needed it - but I took it back lol.)

I'm pretty sure it was 4th grade, might have been 5th. And I don't ever remember same sex classes per se, though I could be wrong about that. (But obviously the locker rooms were separate lol). This would have been the early-mid 1970's, when ironically I think things were a bit more progressive than they are now. I remember we started sex ed (and discussions about other issues such as drug use, etc) in early grades. One of the first boys I actually did fool around with (just a little, and looking back on things, we really missed the opportunity for more) was named Tim. Tim was hung for his age, and as I think he had stayed back a grade (before moving to our town), he was a year older - so when we met in 6th grade, he was maturing ahead of the rest of us. Anyway - whether he was gay, bi, or just curious I'll never know for sure - but I do remember him once getting a hard-on in the boy's shower...and some of the kids razzed him of course, but I was in love, lol. And yes, one time when we were hanging out I did get to touch it, and even tried to suck it (I can still remember Tim saying "blow me" as part of his sneaky little "truth or dare" game we played lol) - but as I said, we never really went very far with things. To this day I regret not realizing what could have been...

I can think of several times pre-puberty when I realized I was privately taking particular notice of a male celeb or athlete or even classmate, etc, but the earliest thing I can remember was when I was 5 or 6. I had a friend my age, Steven, who had an older brother Chris (he might have been all of 9 or 10, but when you're 5, that seems like SO grown up lol) - and I seem to think I had curious feelings about Chris. (Funny, the one memory I have is that he wore what seemed to me to be a "grown up" watch lol). In some way I must have been looking up to him, even though I didn't recognize this as anything really "romantic" or sexual. And of course Steven and I were just "little kids" to him - I don't know if he ever really took much notice of me. But I would remember going home after being at Steven's house, and somehow I'd always think about Chris. In grade school, when we first started dealing with being naked and showering along with gym class (4th grade, I think), there was one boy named Joe who was uncut - and of course in that awkward time when everyone's curious about looking at everyone else (even as they try not to admit it), he got some stares and some disgusted reactions from some of the boys. I remember Joe pulling the foreskin back to show that it was otherwise the same as the rest of us - maybe he went back and forth a few times - and I was fascinated by it. I do remember hearing one of the boys saying something like "god, don't PLAY with it..." - but oh how I wanted to get up the nerve to ask Joe to show it to me privately lol. As I got closer to puberty and started not only truly realizing I liked other boys but was starting to notice *what* I liked about them, I remember a rather defining incident. I might have been 12 or so - not sure - but my family went to see a local college basketball game. And I found myself not watching the game itself as much as I realized I could get hours of free peeks at college boys' armpit hair every time they raised their arms. I'm not sure I knew what a "fetish" was quite yet, but I knew that I was very drawn to those somewhat private patches of hair. And I still am, lol.

The Mercian way? Well, mercy mercy...

Speaking as a man who has battled weight all my life, I think it's pretty common knowledge that the hard part really isn't losing the weight, it's keeping it off. And most people lose that battle. That said, indeed, Subway should have been keeping eyes on his waistline. Or maybe they just didn't care.

I think you're doing the right thing by getting to the doctor and the dentist - not only to see if they can find the problem but also, very importantly, to ease your own mind. And please don't forget that self-diagnosis can be a very misleading thing. That's why there are professionals to diagnose for you, lol. Above all, don't worry yourself crazy. Hopefully and most likely, it's not nearly at all as bad as you might think it is. Glad you shared with us, though. And I'm sending wonderful thoughts your way.

Some of us have also referred to Whole Foods as "The Food Museum."

Why would you say that, lol? After all, very few of his songs deal with homosexuality. (And though I have a huge number of favorite songs and would have a hard time ever settling on one, I'll admit I'm a huge Sondheim fan too.)

Speaking of which -- this song brings back memories in an odd way, lol. (You know how songs tend to mark moments in our lives so easily?) I was just starting teen-hood around the time Cassidy released this song. In that year or so, I wound up "experimenting" with several boys my age. One of them was always trying to sing this song, lol, though I don't remember if we ever talked about Cassidy being a turn-on. But he was the buddy that was right there when I wound up shooting off for the first time (thanks to his sucking abilities lol). Not that this song has anything directly to do with that lol, but I do associate it with that friend.

Agreed, he could - but it depends on what you like. I'd take him as he is now.

Are you thinking of actor Rick(y) Schroder? http://www.nndb.com/people/251/000024179/rick-schroeder-sized.jpg

Yes, I'm aware that "getting off" is not legally correct here, but the result is the same - the officer will not be convicted. In essence, he got off. And yes, I'm reacting out of pure emotion and maybe not everything I'm saying is accurate or right. But at least I'm simply venting my frustrations by typing them on the internet - not rioting in Ferguson. I guess really my ultimate point is that, though not unexpected, the violence in response to tonight's verdict is just as sad and wrong as the police shooting in the first place. I'm sad for all involved.

In which case, they got it. No one wins in this situation. A boy was killed, and the killer gets off free. Brown's family specifically asked that there be no violence tonight, and that wish was not respected - so now, they have lost their son, they are devastated at the grand jury's finding, AND their request is not being honored. And yes, for those people who are satisfied with tonight's verdict, they can unfortunately watch all of this unfold on TV with an "I told you so" jab at the Ferguson community. And now the police are using tear gas, which they may feel is justified to keep the crowd under control, but it only makes THEM look worse, especially in the context of the whole issue of police brutality that started all of this. No one wins. There is no justice here for anyone. And I can only imagine Michael Brown looking down from heaven and shedding his own tears over the violence he's seeing in his own community as a result of all of this. Surely this is not the reaction HE would want either. Prosecutor McCulloch, in his comments after revealing the verdict, had no viable answers for eventual solutions to the problems at hand, other than (to paraphrase) "We just hope this kind of thing doesn't happen again." And Obama's attempt at peaceful, comforting words surely came from his heart, but I think he needed to grow a fucking pair of balls and really preach tonight, and make a real, compelling, passionate, strong statement from a place of real leadership. He didn't. At all. I think his well-intentioned but ultimately impotent words fell on deaf ears. Meh.

Two definitive words: Mike Trout. http://larrybrownsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Mike-Trout-Angels.jpg http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2012/0917/mag_troutcoverbts_12.jpghttp://blogimages.thescore.com/mlb/files/2013/08/mike-trout-birthday.jpg

Seems more like an indecent report instead of an incident report.

Breaking news - an independent autopsy (requested by the family) by Michael Baden shows that Brown was shot SIX TIMES. SIX TIMES.

I did notice one girl who has a slip-up in the middle of something she's saying, and it does sound like she "flubbed the line" rather than anything she'd say naturally. If this video isn't at least partially scripted, I'd be very surprised.

My first experience with computers predates even this just a bit. Mid 1970's, when I was in 5th or 6th grade, my school system had a printer-only computer terminal (no screen/monitor, just the printer) that connected to the mainframe via telephone modem (the old kind, where you dialed a number, and when you got the long "beep" signal, the handset went into a holder where the computer "heard" the beep...BASIC was the most common programming language (though I think the system could use FORTRAN and COBOL as well), which I learned to use pretty well. Aside from obvious educational programs, there were some games (but again, only using typed words, no on-screen visuals), and of course no such thing as the internet. Not even floppy disks yet - I remember there being "punch tape" (like punch cards, but in a slim ticker-tape kind of format) to store data on. By the time I got to high school, we had computers more like what was in that video - though it took me some time to get used to the idea of doing things on a screen instead of everything being directly printed. Imagine that? (I graduated high school in '82 - War Games came out in '83 - and didn't he still have one of those old-style phone modems?) Probably by 1980, we also had one of those at home, and I remember using it for word processing - doing school papers, etc. Those printers still had the custom-made paper with the perforated holes on the edges, to hold the paper in the paper feed - then you had to tear off those extra bits to have "regular" paper for the finished product. I also have a funny memory of computer porn back on those old computers - I remember browsing one of the discs my dad had in his office, and I loaded the program and pressed something, and a dirty "picture" appeared on the screen, in the manner of the "computer art" of the time - all made out of typed symbols to form a picture of sorts. Really more silly/funny than hot in any way. Wow, that was all so dark ages...

Somehow you just made me think of one of my favorite phallic Seinfeld moments, involving a squirt of ketchup from a squeeze bottle in response to a bit of sexy talk...

I know this is about a straight porn move (gasp!), but anyone here know of a film called The Opening Of Misty Beethoven? A straight porn classic that (I didn't even realize until I looked it up just now) just got its first release on DVD/Blu-ray, and also a soundtrack release (more on that in a minute). It's part "art film," part porn - and in reality it's the porn version of Pygmalion, with a sexologist turning a young prostitute into a sex-goddess pornstar. When I was a college freshman in the early 80's, they had a porn night one weekend (along with the usual on-campus big-screen film night), and this was the film they showed. I was sitting with my (gay) roommate, and to be honest I don't remember all that much about the film or the sex...but I do remember a private joke my roomie and I had for weeks/months after that. And it concerned the soundtrack - this one peppy wordless jazz vocal bit (quasi Swingle Singers) that kept recurring throughout the film, that was way catchy and seemed fairly comical in the context of the film. For a long time after the showing, all one of us would have to do would be to start singing the "dabadabada" hook from that song, and we would start laughing. Hearing this on youtube just now brings back some silly memories. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hkojsf0rfN8 And...here's a taste of some of the crazy (but sometimes quite witty) dialogue from the film...(I love the airplane banter especially)