OCClient

For me I always have additional activities planned if I drive to LA or San Diego. The massage is secondary. Sort of a treat I allow myself now and then. There used to be a guy in LA that made the drive so worth it, but he moved to Atlanta. He hit all the checkboxes. Everything I wanted.

So I am officially smitten by Armie. I can't get him out of my mind. It's really Armie as Oliver, but I am following everything I can about him. I think the film is excellent and his and Timothee's performances are wonderful compatible, resonant and compelling. But right now I want to talk about the film's effect on me which is strong, lovely and bothersome. 76 year old closeted married to my high school sweetheart for 53 years and love her beyond everything, kids, lovely grandkids, the whole dream and am really grateful and happy. However, CallMe by Your Name knocked my socks off and knocked me off my pins. To analyse. Elios's romantic and erotic obsession with the half unknown Oliver in first part of the film/book I identify with intensely, specifically the realization that this feverish state about a guy probably meant I was homosexual. I can't use gay because it was not around when I had the crush that made me know I really was attracted to men. After that, the identificatiom switches to Oliver because I then sought everyway to avoid and repress these energies. For me, three years of therapy paid for by my enlightened parents (early 1960s) through which I talked myself into the idea that it had been a stage and, to make sure, I married my longtime girlfriend. I think of this as parallel to Olvier's choice. My life has been incredibly good. I won't bore you with the various ways I have coped, but my wife knows my feelings and all so I aa not so guilt ridden, but I am, at the moment, like a 17 year old with a

terrible crush on a totally unachievable love ideal. I think the fantasy has gotten under my skin due to the particular chemistry of the film and the actors. One part of a crush on a straight guy is the hope that you might change him or he might like you enough to make you happy for a bit or even that in fact he's likes guys too as in the film. Of course, the performance of the film enacts this fantasy completely. The straight Armie enacts with wonderful sympathy and erotic energy the fantasy of the unavailable, ridiculously beautiful straight love ideal experiencing and performing deeply authentic homosexual feeling love. Oh, it drives me wild with longing and bittersweet desire.

No need to respond to,this rant, I just had to get it out to somewhere. Thanks if you are still reading. Any thought on how to handle it all? Feed the fantasy with more Armie all the time or go cold cold turkey, wait for time to cure it...

He's so beautiful. And while I perfectly understand why he might not have gotten a supporting nomination, it affected me as a personal hurt which I know is silly, but I am knee deep in all things Armie... No more for now. Please be gentle with responses.

Thank you @goeffers

for sharing your personal thoughts on CMBYN, Armie Hammer and your life experiences. Did you know that Luca Guadagnino fell in love with Armie Hammer watching the film The Social Network? Perhaps you have seen that one. It is quite a good movie, IMO.

I just read the latest issue of Vanity Fair, and under the Oscar Snubs article they say some nice things about Armie Hammer. I'll paste a link here. Not sure if it will work without a subscription. The 10 Biggest Snubs and Surprises.

Also in the same issue is quite a nice picture of A.H. with reference to his latest film Sorry to Bother You.

A.H. will also star in the movie about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, On the Basis of Sex.

Similar to you, CMBYN left me with some bittersweet feelings, and while I haven't lived your life experience, I understand the idea of thinking back in time and reconsidering things, back to the times when I was in high school and college, how there were guys that dropped all these hints and me being to afraid to process things with these fellows. They are mostly married with kids now. Somehow CMBYN made me focus on how fluid sexuality can be, and how I missed out on some experiences with guys that wanted to play.

The idea of a straight guy having sex with another guy is not such a far fetched thing in my mind and listening to A.H. and T.C. talk about those scenes, I get the impression they are so glad to have shattered the idea of a taboo. They have gone there, though just on set, and it was sort of a fun thing they won't forget.

Aciman admits the idea behind his book was the idea of desire, and how Elio dealt with it. I get it now, that is what these young fellows were doing when they were getting playful or telling me these hints about trying things. That comes from desire. So I look at that with somewhat bittersweet memories, yet I know it is part of the journey.

I actually picked up and had sex with Mormon missionary that was cruising a gay park in Utah. It was a wonderful experience. No regrets and I'd do it again in a micro second.

I was walking home from an MRI and two on bicycles caught up with me. I knew their scene so was very clear how I let them know it was no use. Now I wish I'd let them know I might be of some use!!

The movie rights were optioned around 10 years ago. I wonder if the $$ amount could be found on line, or is that too proprietary for the parties to publish?

I'm not brave or clever enough to entice these boys that have come my door over the years. But it's fun to think about it!

Here is a new discovery of mine, quite a rarity, since the guy says is Afghan. https://instagram.com/p/Bab-jGTBDef/

That's the prettiest thing I've seen all day! Thanks Tarte Gogo.

Gross is now $14.25 million. $10 M+ domestic and $4.25 million foreign.

 

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?page=intl&id=callmebyyourname.htm

SonyClassics and Guadagnino must feel quite validated! Bring on the sequel! And more love scenes wouldn't bother me.

A little more than half of domestic gross is thanks to you!

I do my part!

This one cost $3.5M if I remember correctly. This one will be profitable. I doubt any of the principals have a back-end deal.

I've seen numbers like that, maybe a touch more. The box office so far, just domestic, is approaching $10,000,000. Worldwide plus DVD/rental should pump that up quite a bit.

I know I read or saw an interview last week with Luca Guadagnino where he stated that he was in meetings with André Aciman, the author of the original novel, discussing the possible sequels for CMBYN. So Mr. Aciman appears to be set to be a part of the writing of any sequels Luca may plan. It speaks to the closeness of both cast and crew on CMBYN that when the possibility of a sequel was (jokingly) brought up, both Timothée and Armie said with no hesitation that they would drop everything to work on any sequel Luca may plan!

 

TruHart1

I'm curious how the budget for the sequel will compare, whether the CMBYN box office and eventual DVD/rental/download revenue will be encouraging to investors looking at the sequel. Sounds like part of the reason Ivory did not direct was lack of budget. The critical acclaim will likely raise interest, but not as much as the total revenue.

I'm encouraged there will be a sequel and wonder if the chemistry will be even better. These two seem to have little problem romping around together to make the scenes work.

However the sequel unfolds, I'm looking forward to it, and hope Sufjan is involved.

Lennon-McCartney

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmIwcu9AoxQ

Brasil 66 cover was more than excellent.

These two aren't world champs but the video itself is stunning.

I hope Sufjan Stevens attends (and wins of course) though he is not really into that kind of crowd, right? Can't see him wearing a tux.

And that's exactly why I believe Oliver in the movie much more than Oliver in the book. My wife and I enjoyed the book and the movie, but we both felt the book didn't read as well. The relationship between a 24 year old and a 17 year old probably wouldn't be as conflicted or complicated as suggested unless Oliver was from a very conservative family, which would make his academic choice strange because such families tend to push their kids toward professional degrees unless they're rich enough to indulge their kid's flights of fancy.

 

I think the casting of Hammer really works because Oliver as a 30-something makes the hesitation and internal conflict believable while also turning the relationship into something legitimately challenging or questionable given the age difference, especially in the early '80s.

In the book Oliver was from an admittedly conservative family. Also, he paid his way through college, so was somewhat free to make his own choices.

In the book my take on Oliver was being conflicted about not wanting to break Elio's heart (he's just a kid) but also trying to avoid his own broken heart. He said he didn't want any trouble, and that is what he was talking about, even though during the peach scene we already knew he'd fallen for Elio. I didn't feel Oliver that much in the movie, but Elio (T.C.) more than made up for that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUP3SRjeNks

FLEEING BY NIGHT, dir. Li-Kong Hsu (2000, Taiwan)

++++++++++SPOILER++++++++++++

A gay movie with a sad ending that stays with me years after I've forgotten most of what the movie was about, the idea of life long regret over the lost chance at love, and still dreaming of running after someone chased away decades ago.

Some critics weren't too kind, but I chalk that up to straight (or closeted), white male critics trying to figure out another culture, another way of sexuality, and Asian cinema.

Oh, and this one. Holy crap. I still get choked up just thinking about it.

Lovely.

A YouTube channel linked below has several dance numbers with these two men shown in the image.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyV-7AJqq5Zqgj2USAezpqg

Somehow this came onto my Facebook feed.

These two guys are actually straight, not that there's anything wrong with that.

The dancing (as well as the music) is just lovely though, right?

epi 5 pretty good!!

love Daniel Franzese in this.

.

Episode Five of

Falling for Angels:

Silver Lake

talks about the exact same issues you guys are discussing. I won't paste the link here, since it belongs in Comedy Drama. Should I paste it over there? Probably. It's a good epi.

I agree. That video is tough to watch.

The kissing in Call Me By Your Name is interesting. Or there are some nice erotic videos with good kissing, e.g. Asher and Vincent, old fratmen clips of those two.

In my 30+ years, as an out, gay man, I have heard that men have great sex lives, well past middle age, though on more than a few occasions, I understand that sex wanes after a number of years in a long term relationship, can anyone offer insight as to why that is??

I forgot where I heard the old saying, and it was directed towards traditional style couples (is it still Pc to say that?), that if you put a penny in a jar each time you have sex during the first year of marriage, and then start taking the pennies out each time you have sex after the first year ends, you will never empty the jar.

On the other hand Dr Oz mentioned that men can continue into their 80s. The trick is to keep at it because once you stop boinking your partner, you'll likely never start again. He also talked about health and diet choices and the effect on erection function and so on.

Finally, if the excitement is lacking, isn't that something a couple can figure out together? The others in this thread that talk about binding a couple together with sex have a strong point.

I am saddened how often people return their dog to the shelter when the canine companion reaches senior years, and really wonder if that is what people do with each other when they decide they have lost interest.

Streaming on Netflix worldwide is sort of a coup for the movie, and lets everyone see the same cut. That is especially cool for an Indian movie because homosexuality is illegal there.

Sadly it was omitted by Outfest, but did screen at SXSW and Frameline.

I, too, am looking forward to that. I saw Luca's commentary version of I Am Love twice. I have to assume he did one for CMBYN. I sure hope so. He's a really smart guy, and I love listening to him talk about his process, especially how he had to remove Armie's balls from several frames. I suspect one of the frames was when Elio grabs Oliver's junk shortly after their first kiss. "Am I offending you?" LOVE that moment!

 

You can see it here:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94SwfOmHRQ4

See how NOT gay my husband is?