Cyd_StVincent

Having good communication about whats going on with you will make all the difference. When I've had clients tell me straight out the gate that they don't get hard or usually don't cum or whatever, we have some of the best sessions. To me - it doesn't matter if either of those things happen as long as I know you are having a good time and you give me some cues as to what makes you feel good, since the obvious indicator isn't present. Sex is a million things, and with a soft dick you still have at least 500,000

Awwww! Wow thats the cutest thing to pop back in for. So ya'll gonna get me a twink in a box for real? Thank you so much <3

Wow, gotta say I'm in love with this graphic!

The difference is in the eyes of the beholder.

 

In Uruguay prostitution is legal but having an agent sending you here and there or charging you a commission to use his place is illegal.

 

 

 

In most European countries prostitution is legal including brothels, in others is not legal.

 

 

"The top quarter of guys". I might like guys you don't like. How can you point at some gays and say they're the most wanted/hired/successful escorts in one city? How can you collect the date to determine that?

 

I never read a review on here starting with "his agent made plans for my meeting with XXX".

 

I'm not saying what you say it's not true, maybe in Prague is done that way. Here there was an agency called "DC boys" and another one called "Top referrals" but I'm talking about early 2000, a time when cellphones weren't as common.

 

When you say most folks do this or that I would take your word with caution. You have some perception issues when it comes to reality: urban decay all over the U.S.A., some folks from one tiny country in the Middle East being the most hatred folks in the world, etc. When you talk about a friend of yours you remind me of Trump telling a story.

 

 

 

Those providers can learn English. If someone from South America was able to get a visa to come over here he certainly didn't come out of a "villa miseria" (shanty town) in Buenos Aires, a "cantegril" in Montevideo or a "favela" in the 'morros' (hills) of Rio. If he had some High School I'm sure he speaks some basic English. Besides he prepared himself for his trip and made an effort to learn some useful words. Reading/writing a language is easier than speaking it and understanding it from a native speaker, most communications now a days is done by text.

 

 

 

You don't need to super intelligent to write down you'll have someone on Saturday at 2, if someone calls and ask for 3 PM that same day you can always suggest: "What about 3:30 or 4?" You sound a little bit condescending on this matter.

I'm often called on to be someones first introduction to FTM genital configurations, what feels good and what doesn't, as an opportunity to be with someone who is patient and understanding before they seek out a non-paid experience. I love it. I love hearing from guys how happy their trans men partners are, and how I'm partly to thank - whether or not they will ever know it. It's part of what make sex work sustainable and enjoyable for me.

Being a sex worker I feel like I get pushed to go on PrEP weekly by internet ads or a doctor derailing our completely unrelated session into trying to propose I start. I don't tolerate PrEP well, and I prefer not to need it. I have found that although playing safe limits my clientelle it provides me with clients I get along with better. Also, having lots of different interactions with different bodies, there are so many things you can pick up and pass on - having worked as a sexual health counselor for 8 years - for me sexual health does not start and end at HIV. Antibiotic resistant gonnorrhea, or really any type of gonnorrhea is also something I would rather not spend time dealing with or telling sexual partners I may have infected them. So I use condoms with all but a main partner and very, very occasionally for porn.

To the OP I would suggest telling escorts outright you prefer to use condoms before sex. Body language communication is not very clear during the hot and heavy moments, setting up an expectation will enable you to relax and even tease each other with the idea of it without you having to have the shitty feelings after. I think if you don't feel comfortable with bareback sex then why not listen to and respect that, just because the cultural is changing doesn't mean you have to drop your own boundaries.

I'm glad you mentioned We the Animals and Moonlight.

How those gay kids were played really stuck with me, how worthy of love they are.

 

Chiron's face really stayed with me. Looking forward to more from Ashton Sanders.

 

 

SPOILER ALERT

 

*********************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Loved how Paps looked at his little Jonah when giving him the haircut. Despite his faults, the loud, macho dad loved his sweet little kid.

 

I really appreciated how the parents were played in the movie, I think they are some of the most emotionally complex supporting characters I've seen.

I love God’s Own Country so much despite its similarities to Brokeback Mountain, a movie of which I’m not at all a fan.

 

Unrelatedly, I love your work @Cyd_StVincent

Thank you!!! I'll have to check out God's Own Country. I thought Brokeback Mountain was cinematically beautiful but plot wise kind of a snore - even though I like both of the actors enough to want to believe gay sex between them it just didn't seem real.

Probably depends a lot on how out there the escort is already. I'm ok with someone taking a picture or short clip during a booking unless it seems like they're trying to upload it on the internet, for that I'd better be getting paid or at least be able to screen if I look good

What are peoples favorites and why? It's clearly become the genre of now with the back to back Oscar successes of Moonlight and Call me By Your Name, sometimes it feels like there is a new one every month, but I feel like most of them are too on the nose. Yesterday I finally got my moviepass to work and watched We The Animals. I had been a fan of Justin Torres' writing for a long time but wasn't sure how it was going to translate into a film. It was a totally unique style so intense but also subtle, so visually engaging but also emotionally grounding. Its the story of a puerto rican/white family in upstate New York, about family violence and messiness, about being part of a group and then drifting away. I definitely recommend it, especially for a depiction of what are very intensely challenging subjects in our society presented just as they are without hitting you over the head with a lesson.

I've been talking to a bunch of people and it sounds like blockchain websites are the wave of the future. I'm not tech savvy to really understand 100% what is going on there but its using the same kind of decentralized system as Bitcoin thereby avoiding the part around being sourced as criminally liable. Most of what I have heard of is aimed towards cis and or trans women but hopefully there will be some sites that advertise men as well.

In the meantime there is also switter.at an alternative to twitter as we will began to see adult content taken off social media platforms. I also got an VPN and an encrypted email at protonmail and I encourage everyone else to do the same.

Sorry I just saw this. Zachary is right, if you want to advertise towards a gay market you should expect that screening is going to be a request met with confusion and rejection by most.

Around the concept of that being because its not needed, I would say that's pretty complex. Male sex workers are DEFINITELY less targeted by law enforcement which is one of the primary reasons that screening exists - to weed out stings. As a trans male sex worker I would say that I feel somewhat more safe than when I worked as a cis woman with my clients, but I would say that has more to do with my growing confidence in negotiating my boundaries than anything else. Compared to when I worked as a woman I get more clients attempting to have bareback or anal sex with me without obtaining consent - but the overall power dynamic feels a bit more equal and I get less "scary" clients, more just pushy or shady ones - and those are of course definitely in the minority overall.

Between A4A and rentmen I would expect about the same, for Grindr he might be expecting to do less of the escorting emotional labor, the full hour, the offer of a drink and a massage, etc.

On occasion when times are lean I'll post for generous on Craigslist and accept a lower rate, and while I would still give amazing service it isn't exactly the standard I hold myself to on rentmen, although that tends to be more around schedule and communication availability rather than what happens when we are together.

I do not think we are a quiet group. I am pretty loud in my blog, and I am not the only one. I just cannot get publicly out of the closet. Yet.

I like your blog - especially the item on transgenderism

I am waiting for my retirement to become a public advocate for sex work in all its wonderful diversity.

I love that. I know that the stigma that clients face can feel very dangerous and with all the subtle ways that society communicates that people who hire sex workers are deficit in some way, I can only imagine how it must feel. However, I also know that as long as clients stay an almost completely silent group the anti's will be able to ascribe whatever characteristics they want onto ya'll, and only smart, caring, and real clients will be able to challenge that stigma.

Sex worker is a term coined by Carol Leigh - the Scarlet Harlot - in the 70's as a way to politically ground the growing prostitutes rights movement. Since then it has become widely used internationally in both advocacy and health contexts, and I think is the word that the AP is supposed to use. I like the word and use it to refer to myself in what I do, but I wouldn't expect it to be used within my interactions with clients necessarily. Since I have no qualms about what I do, I have no concerns with what I'm called as long as the tone it is said in is respectful.

As a side note I do wish perhaps that clients and sex workers did perhaps bring a little bit of the politics of prostitution into their meetings. We are both experiencing a huge wave of criminalization together, and we are natural partners in fighting it. However, it always feels like a taboo subject to bring up. I suppose it isn't the hottest thing when the clock is running, but I wonder when and where we develop the relationships necessary to build solidarity together. Otherwise its just going to be sex workers who are out advocating against their own criminalization and the criminalization of clients second.

All that has already been said definitely. Also a great client is someone who shows me their investment in our relationship by being friendly and affirming - a simple 'I'm so happy you are here' at the beginning of a session will really set us in the right direction. By being dependable as a regular and letting me know when I can expect to see them again, or letting me know if our regular schedule has changed whats up. By offering me a glass of water or a shower - which shows that they are considering me and my needs. Also clients who don't take increasing intimacy as an opportunity to undercut or barter with me, realizing that while we like each other more and more my bank account still needs the same amount of money in it.

Happy Valentines!

My way of asking that question is to ask the escort whether they're open to bareback. If they say yes, I don't pursue.

What do you do if you don't hear back? Because often people will ask me about bareback and since I don't want to go down the road of arguing about it I don't reply. Now I just think some of them might have been testing me lol.

Happens to everyone by everyone.

 

Recent months, happened to me by

• Rentguys
  
• Electrician who came, wrote a bid, but stopped responding when I returned the signed bid.
  
• The service used to clean gutters annually for past 10 years... provided quote but wouldnt respond to multiple messages to schedule this year.
  
• Two handyman workers who came by, walked through potential projects, stated interest, then disappeared
  
• 80% of people who say they're going to purchase anything I've listed on eBay, OfferUp, Craigslist, etc (99% of all enquirers)
  
• Countless people who've submitted resumes when Im recruiting for my clients, who schedule phone interviews, never call, don't answer, and fail to respond to follow up.
  

Ghosting is the new norm.

 

Craigslist is reportedly adding a category to their personals section. There'll be men4women, women4women, men4men, and ghost4ghost.

OMG lol Craigslist is truly the land of the ghost. Four times a year I'll decide I want sex or furniture from there but in 8 years I've come away with one chest of draws, one pretty odd threesome and a guy who showed up and was so unlike his picture that I couldn't figure out what he was doing at my house.

For a guy like me who has constraints on when he can hire and must be ultra discrete - on business trips which are known well in advance - I have to be a planner. So far, I’ve been able to successfully engage with providers well in advance and every one of those engagements has occurred as planned for the most part (at least on my end as the client). I am thankful they have not written me off as a flake because I was contacting them months in advance. Like many who’ve commented, I love this hobby. I wish it could happen more spontaneously for me as it does for others, but that’s not the situation I am operating under. For me, I am not willing to take a chance and wait until the week or two before to be sure that I arrange the guy I want. In some instances I am planning the entire business trip and spending the funds to arrange the trip so as to discretely engage a provider as well - usually for multiple hours or an overnight (and every overnight has been at the first meeting that had gone marvelously- shock!). Maybe I’m a unicorn and the providers I have hired may be as well, but again, I’m so thankful for the high quality guys who took me seriously and understood my need to contact them well in advance and didn’t dismiss me. Just another perspective.

I'm not saying I wont respond to a very far in advance email. I'll actively respond to any booking that seems like it comes from someone who isn't clearly a time waster - but if the question is what is the ideal way to communicate with an escort I think two weeks in advance - unless of course its asking for an overnight, travel or longer.

Any communication that I get more than 2 weeks before they want to book always feels unreliable. Things change very quickly in the escorting world - people want to see you and then they don't in hours or days so to take seriously that someone is able to plan that they are going to be horny, single, available and interested in 2-3 months feels very suspect.

The type of communication I take the most seriously is emails that introduce yourself, why you are interested in seeing me, when, where and for how long. Nothing super explicit. Then we usually email back and forth a few times to solidify the details and within that I get a phone number which I text to confirm the day before. For me text messages are 50/50 real and phone calls are usually just the same guy pretending to be different wealthy gentlemen but his voice sounds like a made for tv movie pervert so I always know exactly who it is.

This is my preference and I've heard other people say the exact opposite, but my 2c. Also if you are approaching someone respectfully with full sentences and a name you are already two arms and a head above the many text messages I receive saying something like "do u raw?" and that's it.

If you're going to provide crisco for each client, use the baking sticks - a new one for each client. Less cost to you, easy to transport. Keep them frozen. When you're ready to lube your client, push the entire frozen stick up his hole. He's lubed for the entire session.

Thanks for the great advice!! I hadn't seen those before and I'll keep a look out now.

In the FF community, a practice has evolved that the bottom always provides his own lube. This is partly because there are individual lube preferences, but most importantly, it allows the bottom to be certain that his top isn't using lube that may be contaminated with someone elses's body fluids.

That's a good idea. I usually bring j-lube with me in a bottle, but its annoying to have to go to family dollar and buy crisco for each person.

What is expected? Am I expected to bring anything for an incall?

 

Thanks.

If you have a type of lube that has especially worked for you in the past you might want to bring that. Hopefully though the person you have hired has the experience with fist fucking to have lube, nail files, and gloves handy however. If he doesn't I would hesitate to go there personally.

Sadly, even in some places where independent escorting is decriminalised, like in the UK, escorts working together in groups remains criminalised. It’s even risky there for groups of escorts who are friends to share a working apartment as an Incall. I hope if we ever get decriminalisation over here we avoid making the same mistake. Being able to work together in groups offers a lot of safety and social support.

 

My URL (FTM4RENT.com) is actually something I registered years ago, long before I was out of the closet in the industry as FTM myself. It was originally intended to be a directory for FTM escorts, much like RentMen but specific to transmasculine guys. Nowadays I’m too concerned about the legal consequences to pursue that project. Might repurpose it for that same reason later if the legal climate changes a little. Waiting to see what happens with Backpage...

Its such a shame because that advertising platform would really be so helpful. There are so many new guys coming up but getting lost amongst the fray in rentmen. My client last night, who has been a hirer for a long time, didn't even know you could do a keyword search.

I've heard such great things about the brothel system in Australia - can you imagine a house of trans people working together? Sounds like a dream!