NuSingle

A Report on Week One of Home Alone--
 
I'm doing fine, adjusting, making discoveries of aspects of this I hadn't expected, to wit--
 
Plus- My grocery bill has plummeted.
Minus- It takes longer to shop since I keep having to go back to shelves and replacing packages that are too large for one person. (I did not intend the double entendre of "packages too large for one person," but I'll let it stand.) I can't believe how little milk has been used in a week!
 
Plus- There is less cooking to do, less laundry, less ironing.
Minus-- We used to take turns, so while there's less, I have to do it ALL!
 
Plus- I find everything where I left it.
Minus- That's fine when it's a book, not so much when it's dishes in the sink.
 
Plus- I can have whatever I want at meals, taking only my preferences in mind.
Minus- I eat it alone.
 
Plus- There is plenty of hot water, I can take a shower as long as I want.
Minus- I never realized it before, but the sound of the shower running was a constant in the morning. That's a time when the place has become too quiet.
 
Plus- I can stay out as long as I want, no one will worry or need me to be someplace at a certain time.
Minus- I'm sometimes at loose ends, with nothing much to do.
 
Plus- I get calls and texts at odd times from the boys, and skyped on the weekend with two (Plebe twin can't skype yet).
Minus- There's no minus in that.
 
Plus- I am working out a lot, alternating between gym and pool, to occupy my time. At this rate I'll be in great shape soon.
Minus- No real minus, except the boys often came to gym and pool with me, so it isn't really a distraction from the changes.
 
Plus- My elderly neighbors, who adore the boys, invited me to dinner and let me gas on about them.
Minus- I really should control the impulse to tell everyone what they're doing. But these two sweethearts, and their son who's moved in to care for them, didn't mind.
 
Plus- I'm exploring gay/bi friendly social and sport groups and am resolved to try them out.
Minus- No minus but I confess to being nervous. It feels the way I felt before I went to my high school freshman mixer-- will I dress right? Will I make a friend? Will it be obvious I am not used to this? Will any of the girls dance with me? (Okay, that was only at the freshman mixer, but you get the idea.)
 
So, all in all, I'm surviving and even finding the humor in my inexperience at being on my own. Onward.

Thank you for asking, my friend. It's-- okay. But it's weird!
 
I mentioned earlier that the last night at the hotel in NY was hard, and I had dreaded the drive back to DC. For some reason I thought that would be painful, but it really wasn't. I played music loud, sang along, and was home before I knew it. Walking into the house was a little emotional, but not tragic, I just didn't like it. My folks had invited me to dinner so I went there, and having been texted by each of my sons during the day, I got called by each of my brothers during the evening. I think they had conferred about me being alone and decided to keep me talking.
 
At home it was quiet, and everything was where I had left it-- what a change, LOL! The only bad moment was waking up the next morning and blurrily thinking I needed to get the guys going, and then remembering. And eating alone is not fun.
 
This is okay. I already miss them, of course, but to a normal degree. I worked today, and worked out before coming home, and that helped. I have no familiar routine now, no typical day, and I have to develop/discover those. And I will. All four of us are moving into new phases, and are dealing with something, loneliness, homesickness, uncertainty about the future. We'll be fine.
 
But oh man, does it help to have all of you to "talk" to about it. Thanks for listening.

I just checked out and after a bite to eat will drive back to DC.
 
Dinner on Sunday with DePaul twin, his roommate, and older brother was okay, everyone obviously aware of the looming goodbye but in control. When we took the two freshmen back to their dorm roommate shook our hands and called both me and older brother "Sir," and then twin hugged us both and said "Call me soon." No "be happy" moment this time. Like his twin, he walked into the dorm without a glance back.
 
Monday morning Oldest and I drove to NY, and the talk got serious, but not in the way I (or probably you) expected. He's been in a relationship for about a year, the first really serious one he's had. He wanted to talk about that, and about me and his mom. I was about his age when we got engaged, and he wanted to know how we knew that was the right thing to do, how we knew each other was the right one, etc. He's thinking about where to go from here, how to know what to do next. Now, we got married younger than anyone would have advised, and had kids immediately, so I don't know if my input is the best, but I tried to tell him how it was. He knows his mom was pregnant when we got married (although we were engaged already). He said he'd been jealous of his little brothers because they'd had such strong relationships in high school and he hadn't, which totally surprised me, he'd never given any indication of that. But he's clearly very much in love with this young woman, and she is lovely, but they're juniors in college. I mostly listened, but told him about how it felt when his mom and I got serious. He threw in that they were thinking of moving off-campus together at some point, so I guess that question's been answered.
 
Tuesday morning we picked up his stuff from storage and moved him into his dorm. He's had a great roommate the past two years, who was a huge help when he broke his leg, and they are moving into a suite with two others this semester. One of the new guys had his parents there and allow me to digress and say his dad is hot as hell.
 
We didn't go to a show last night after all, just a farewell dinner, where he did indeed gently express concern about me being alone. I was honest and said I don't know how it will be, but assured him I'd figure it out. I know some of you think I should open up to the boys and I intend to, but I really want to do it when we're all together. But since he'd brought it up I reminded him that they used to badger me to start dating, and I asked why they had abruptly stopped. He got very serious, and said that we'd all been at the table and he and the twins had been boisterously suggesting women for me to date. I'd laughed it off, but when I left the room, he said I had looked sad. (I have no memory of this at all.) He was 15 and the twins 13. He told his brothers he thought they were hurting my feelings, and they all agreed to leave me alone. Then he said will you maybe start dating now? And I said I think I might, and he nodded.
 
He is the cynic in the family, the unsentimental one, and when I took him back to campus I expected a handshake or manly hug at best. But before he got out of the car, he reached out and touched my face and said, "Call me soon, too." I just nodded, and off he went.
 
Last night at the hotel was hard, but I'm okay. I slept late, which I never do. I've written this over a late breakfast, and while I typed I've had texts from all three. Now, back to DC.

Okay, I'll try to be succinct. Try.

When I went back down to the pool, the twins, GF, and her parents were sitting on the deck talking. Plebe twin and GF were on chaises, and as the chat went on, he fell asleep. So now we were all watching him sleep, talking softly about his summer. He woke with a jolt and apologized, mostly to GF. The kids went up to the rooms to dress, and by now older bro was back. We all wanted to give Plebe and GF some time alone, but logistics were tricky with her parents there and limited time. So we eneded up going to dinner near the Annapolis Mall, with the two of them going out alone and the rest of us going elsewhere. Her parents had a million questions about his summer and the year ahead, and his brothers answered more than I did.
 
The pair of them walked back to meet us (I suspect after some smooching), and GF left with her folks. We still had some time, so back to DTA to visit over ice cream. This was the most normal it all seemed all weekend, everyone behaving like we always had, and very little talk about the Academy. DePaul twin told him about his roommate-to-be, and what the dorms at DePaul look like online-- much homier than Plebe rooms. Then walked him back to get him there before he turned into a pumpkin at midnight.
 
Sunday morning we met at the beautiful Chapel and joined the boys' cousin, my wife's sister's son, who is a rising senior there. He's always been a great guy and they all look up to him, not least because he's about 6'4! Afterwards we brought him back to the hotel for brunch (Midshipmen at an all-you-can-eat brunch must strike fear in establishments all over Annapolis). Cousin remembers his aunt, the boys' mom, and her death hit him hard when it happened. After brunch, he said, "I wish your mom was here, she'd be so proud." And cynical, sarcastic older brother said, "She is, and she is." And, well, no one said anything, or could have, for a while.
 
Cousin headed back to the Yard and we went to the rooms to relax. The plan was to swim again, but somehow we never got around to it. He didn't fall asleep this time, but we watched TV, surfed the internet, snacked, and talked. He was due back at 6, er, 1800, so we left to get there early enough that there wouldn't be a rush, or a delay at the gate. In the days before air travel, few Midshipman went home for Thanksgiving, so wouldn't see their families again until Christmas. So a longstanding tradition at the end of Plebe Parents' Weekend is for the upperclass to loudly play Christmas Music as the Plebes are dropped off the last day. We knew that would happen and were amused by it, but we saw some families who were visibly shaken at the reminder of how long it would be. In he went after hugs all around, but more normal ones, a "Good luck" to his twin, and we stayed to watch evening formation where we couldn't find him in the crowd. We stayed the night, to make the return home less fraught than it had been back in June.
 
So. In less than two weeks we take his twin to Chicago for orientation. From there I'll drive older brother, who is anxious to get back to his GF, back to NY. Paradoxically, the one I'll be able to see most often once the academic year starts is Plebe twin, since he gets some liberty on weekends and he's only 45 minutes away. I won't hover though, I'll wait and see how much he wants visits. But I have season tickets for Navy football, so at the very least I'll see him at games.
 
Onward.

In porn scenes where a guy gets fucked legs up, with his feet on his partner's shoulders, it turns me on to see the top lick the bottom's feet and suck his toes while pounding his ass. I find it so erotic, so hot, so damn sexy...

I have loved following this story and appreciate you for sharing. It is a glimpse of what could have been for many of us who are not fathers, but would have loved to have children.
 
You are clearly a great and loving father with well rounded children.

As has been mentioned many times, your family story is very compelling and heartwarming. There is, obviously, a tremendous bond between you and your sons and between them. This has been forged by the way you have all four navigated life following a heartbreaking experience. You know that the relationship they have with you is exceptional in every way and has made it possible for them to individually explore their separate dreams. Just as you have in every decision concerning your family, you will do the right thing when the time is right. Have faith in that. They may know, they may not. But, my sense is that they have been raised to appreciate the differences in people and to not to judge that which does not warrant judgment. While the disclosure may be interesting, I suspect it will have zero impact on what is important - and that is their love for their father. You will probably have to deal with the topic of your relationship with their mother, which may be a simple as their wanting validation that their was love there. On the other hand, they saw that love and may have no doubts. Good luck in everything that is going on with you and your sons; and a hardy congratulations.

Well here is my two cents worth and most likely that's exactly what it's worth. Your three boys are very bright. To know that one only has to look at the institutions of higher education they are attending or will be attending. I assume you have NOT been dating women since your wife died. My guess is that your boys already know or at least suspect. Some of our more militant members here probably won't agree with me regarding what I'm about to say. Were I you I would do exactly what you have already stated "by joining DC's gay basketball league or some such thing". I really don't see the need for some dramatic declaration. When THEY are ready to ask they will ask and then again I would do what you have said you will NOT LIE. I sincerely believe a low key approach here is probably best.

That is indeed my plan. I honestly have no fear of rejection or disapproval, but given that two are starting at new schools it might be a distraction. When I'm on my own I'll start dipping my toe in the waters, probably joining DC's gay basketball league or some such thing. When I actually am socializing again, I'll let them know. I'd prefer it to be when we're all together but when it feels right for them to know, they'll know. Having said that, if one of them asks me anything I won't lie.

I have loved following this story and appreciate you for sharing. It is a glimpse of what could have been for many of us who are not fathers, but would have loved to have children.
 
You are clearly a great and loving father with well rounded children.

I have loved following this story and appreciate you for sharing. It is a glimpse of what could have been for many of us who are not fathers, but would have loved to have children.
 
You are clearly a great and loving father with well rounded children.

I have loved following this story and appreciate you for sharing. It is a glimpse of what could have been for many of us who are not fathers, but would have loved to have children.
 
You are clearly a great and loving father with well rounded children.

I have loved following this story and appreciate you for sharing. It is a glimpse of what could have been for many of us who are not fathers, but would have loved to have children.
 
You are clearly a great and loving father with well rounded children.

I have loved following this story and appreciate you for sharing. It is a glimpse of what could have been for many of us who are not fathers, but would have loved to have children.
 
You are clearly a great and loving father with well rounded children.

I wasn't sure whether to start a new thread or continue this one, but I figured anyone uninterested in my saga would know to avoid this one.
 
I am sitting here late at night with a Scotch and a full heart after a long day full of pride and emotion. Today was Induction Day, or "I Day" at the US Naval Academy in Annapolis MD. At the crack of dawn we took my son, one of the twins, to start his Plebe Summer, essentially boot camp, where the young men and women admitted to the Academy are trained to be members of the Brigade of Midshipmen. It's a day of head shaving and uniform issue, yelling and pageantry, and the first day of a seven week isolation meant to transform them into members of the military.
 
As the day approached the boys, both the twins and their older brother, got quiet and serious. I offered to bring the Plebe's girlfriend today, but they decided that would be too hard and said their goodbyes during the day Wednesday, leaving us to have a dinner alone. Thursday morning before dawn we headed to Annapolis. The twins had been talking in their room before I went to bed and were doing the same when I got us up, so I'm not sure they slept at all. My dad, an Academy alum, was going to come too, but was under the weather, so it was the four of us alone. The twins had decided long ago to shave their heads yesterday, and that saved the Plebe a few minutes to rest and breathe, and made them impossible to tell apart. Once he entered the building for in-processing we had a number of family events that were probably more helpful for people who lived at a distance, but it was all good to hear.

In the evening there was a ceremony with pageantry, and a jet fly-over, and the oath to support and defend the Constitution. Followed by about 40 minutes to mingle and say good-bye before they embark on a summer-long adventure where we'll have almost no contact. The Yard (there's tons of jargon, it's not a campus it's a Yard. They
are not freshmen, they're Plebes.) is surprisingly beautiful if you've never been there. So we met up and sat on a blanket, with snacks and drinks, before we said goodbye for the summer. Around us were sad families, happy families, laughing families and silent families, all dealing with what their sons and daughters were taking on.
 
My twins sat close to each other and didn't talk much, but Plebe twin was dealing with it fine. He has a cousin who is a Firstie (they're not seniors, they're 1st Class Midshipmen or Firsties.) He knew what to expect and had handled it well. Older brother was great, very proud, very good at asking questions about the day, Plebe twin has two roommates, neither of whom has ever shared a room with anyone, so that will be an adjustment he won't need to make. When it came time for him to join the formation and march into Bancroft Hall, the largest dormitory in the world, he hugged older brother first, and they both laughed. Then he hugged me and did something he hasn't done since babyhood-- he kissed me on the cheek. We are inveterate huggers, but none of the boys has kissed me since they were tiny. He murmured, "Be happy" to me and that's a conversation to come. Then, as I might have guessed, his twin and he hugged each other tightly and long, and both whispered something to the other-- maybe in their twin language? And then he joined his company in formation, and we lined up to watch them march into the hall, as the last Plebes entered, the huge doors slammed shut, and Plebe Summer had begun. If you want o see what his day was like, watch 1:55 to 8:07 of this, last year's I Day--

 
We had intended to have dinner in Annapolis, but twin brother asked if we could just go home and get pizza, so we headed back to DC. Older brother drove, and on the way he nudged me and looked into the mirror. I turned and saw twin brother with his eyes closed, silently weeping with tears running down his cheeks. By the time we got home he was composed, we got pizza, and he went to bed early. When I came up to say good night to him, I found him asleep in his brother's bed.
 
This is all good, it's a necessary part of them all growing up. But the two moments of Plebe twin kissing me and saying "Be happy" and his brother quietly crying in the back seat are things I'll never forget. Over the summer we get three short phone calls from the Plebe, and in August there is a parents' weekend when we can spend some time with him. Then, almost immediately, older brother and I will drive twin brother to Chicago to start his freshman year at DePaul, and I'll drive older brother to NYC to start his junior year at Fordham. And then I'll drive home to DC alone and we'll see what that's like.

I certainly appreciate nice looking and well groomed feet on a man, but don't consider myself to have a foot fetish. I do find them very sexy. Same with nice hands.
 
However, a few years ago I met this guy on Grindr who had a major foot fetish and talked me into letting him worship my feet. I was totally uninformed and leery of doing it, but had just enough curiosity to go through with it. I was afraid I'd be ticklish, but that was not the case. He knew how to handle that.
 
I was heavy into volleyball at the time playing both league and on a traveling team and have very nice legs and also got regular pedicures and he sensed he'd be very interested in my feet. He gave me explicit instructions on what I should be wearing when he arrived (shorts, ankle sox and tennis shoes).
 
He arrived and was more than pleased with my legs and feet. He removed my shoes and very slowly and methodically went to "work" one foot at a time first removing the sock with his mouth and giving the most incredible service to each foot I could have imagined. He eventually worked his way pretty much all over my body and I eventually had an incredible release. The encounter lasted at least two hours (I'd never guessed I'd be able to last that long quite honestly).
 
This guy was not really my type at all and I was not attracted to him very much although he was really ok, but not someone I'd pursue. I had just turned 50 and it was one of THE most incredible sexual experiences I've ever had.
 
He really knew his stuff and I asked him afterwards how in the world he learned to do that as I was completely blown away by it. He said he visited foot Fetish clubs in NYC and learned a lot there. I'll say!
 
Anyway as reluctant as I was to go through with it, I did not regret a most incredible sexual experience. I never dreamed I'd be a part of something like that, mostly because I never thought about it. I'd jump at the chance to be with someone as gifted as this guy again.

Told ya!

And since he's by far the HOTTEST guy I've found this evening, here's my fav...one more time!!:D:p:Dhttp://68.media.tumblr.com/2ac37122c853b889521327c79c442a43/tumblr_odrkmzmI0j1rk9bqho1_1280.jpg

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