John Lucas

JD, I have a somewhat different perspective. It is very hard for me to trust, and when I am lucky enough to have a close friend, I find it very hard to distance myself or discard them just bc their behavior is "annoying" to me. If their behavior was criminal, dangerous, or something worse, then, yeah, I would probably modify the relationship or end it. However, in the grand scheme of things, if someone is a braggart is that enough to modify the friendship? Before giving up on him, I would take a hard look at myself and ask: can I control my negative reaction to his bragging? Can I stand losing face when he brags to others in front of me? Sometimes, being a close friend really entails embracing someone fully for the good and the bad. I certainly hope my close friends don't give up on me when I annoy them - even if continuously. good luck! -TR

People who are compelled to tell you how great their life is are trying convince themselves as much at they are trying to convince you. People who are truly happy with their lives don't need to convince anyone else of the fact and want others to be as happy as they are. It is really kind of sad but there is nothing you can do about it. He is likely exhibiting this behavior out of feelings of inadequacy. This reminds me of a a friend who was constantly telling me how great his marriage was and then one day up and announced that he was getting a divorce.

is it for real or another case of...
 
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It seems to be true with this particular friend/escort that if he's continued being this way for most of your acquaintance, he is not willing or able to listen to criticism regarding his need to continue this behavior. Rather than making some dramatically over-the-top farewell statement such as, "I can no longer be your friend if you continue this behavior, etc." you need to just walk away from the relationship, and make sure not to have any time to talk or to visit when you happen to be in the same geographical area. You've already found that, in this case, he will never change. So do nothing mean or negative, just be too busy to give him anymore of your time, especially given that having a conversation or visit with him always gets on your last nerve! No one has time for that!
 
TruHart1

Listen & Learn......
 
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I agree too. You guys are absolutely 100 percent right all the way with all your suggestions. Couldn't be put any better way as to how I feel. Each day I'm thinking more and more on how to sort out this dilemma and put an end to this bragging business he's conducting.

And THEN, I started carrying the FAN.... now if someone does or says something I don't like, I smack em on the head with it. For you, that may not work long distance, so you'll just have to smack him "with your Words"....

Well, the situation doesn't only apply to "escorts". As a civilian, I had 2 friends (they were a couple) who always made "everything" about THEM. When we would make plans to do something, it had to be their ideas, what they wanted, when they wanted. They wouldn't be the least bit flexible on anything. They were braggadocious and "self serving" about everything. If you did something, they "ultimately did it better" . If you bought something, what they bought was better. It was exhausting... I tried to overlook and ignore, but after several years I just couldn't anymore. I confronted them and told them how I felt, but instead of receiving an understanding of my issues, I got the "oh, you're just jealous" line. At that point I realized they were all about themselves, and really didn't comprehend the idea of "Friendship"... I cut them loose...because i was getting absolutely nothing from the relationship....
 
So JD, my advice is to weigh the Pro's and cons of the relationship, and decide if you can exist in the space created for you with him.... Usually when you sit down and seriously THINK about it, the picture becomes perfectly clear as to what you need to do....

JD, one day he will catch you when you are not in the mood and you will take care of it.

JD, just tell him you are happy no matter how his life works out but that you love him and don't need all the details of his life. Tell him he doesn't need to prove anything to you. He doesn't need to tell you how successful he had been because you like him whether he has been successful or not.

Sounds like you have tried everything I might suggest. You now have three options:
 
Change his behavior. You tried
Live with his behavior. Can you just accept his bragging and not let it bother you?
Walk away. Extricate yourself from the relationship.
 
Some folks just need to be, have, feel MORE than everyone else.... More happy, more sad, more wealthy, more poor, more healthy, more sick. I had a college friend who was like this. If I was in pain, his pain was greater ("you think you have pain? Why my back requires I take morphine three times a day")
If I got an acting role I had sought, he was going to star in a movie. If i found ten bucks, he found a hundred. You get the idea. I tried to change it through heart-to-heart talks, and I tried to live with it, but I was pissed off all the time. I dropped him many years ago and haven't communicated for 30 years. Sad, but inevitable. I still miss him for some reason.

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen Of The Forum:
 
Hope all of you are doing fine and well on this happy Friday.
 
As for me, I'm doing great as I'm relaxing enjoying a nice cold bowl of Strawberry Ice Cream, and watching Queer As Folk -Season 4.
 
Love me some Ben Buckner(Robert Gant). My dream husband. LOL. . He's SOOOO HOTT!!! I think him and Brian would have made more of a hot couple on the show. What a hot scene it was to see on Season 2 Ben and Brian did fuck together at one point as a hook-up before Ben met Michael. ;).
 
What was hot about scene: Ben was the bottom for Brian. Usually Ben is a top for Micheal. Not in this case with his hook-up with Brian. Lol. :rolleyes:. Ben does have a hot ass on him. Same with Michael too. .
 
Anyway - Here is my dilemma, folks, and need everyone's advice on how to handle or deal with such a complicating issue I'm facing with my close friend, so here it goes (sigh).......
 
Have a close friend I've known for 7 years now who is also a fellow escort/masseur in the Midwest. We talk on the phone at least once a week, and even visit each other 4 times a year.
 
Don't get me wrong, I love the guy - really I do, but he gets on my freaking nerves with his constant bragging how in well demand he is in everything. Without asking "how you doing - how's you're day going", it's right away all about HIM, and how clients are lining up to see him, ect. Sometimes I wonder does he intend to lift himself up on a pedestal on purpose to intimidate me or make me invy him.
 
I think he's trying to make me feel inferior as it appears to me that's what he's doing at times seeing how he has to make the conversation all about him, and how grand he is to everybody on earth.
 
He'll re-route a conversation we'll be having about a world events or working on our future goals, and right away he'll make the subject about him on how he lived lavishly with his ex-lover all over the world, and how his ex-lover of 19 years was wealthy, owning houses together, owning lavish cars, traveling around the world, knowing wealthy celebrities, Congressman, English royalty, ect. You name it - him and his ex-lover done it.
 
I become so annoyed when he speaks or goes on and on about how guys outside of escorting chase after him, and hit on him wherever he goes to be his boyfriend. Proves to me he has low self esteem, and do feel he exaggerates a tad much as nobody is that lucky all the time - everytime like that 95% of the time in they're lives. Makes my head spin as it's pathetic to me how someone has to brag to such annoying extents like this.
 
Had a heart-to-heart talk with him a month ago, and explained to him how his behavior in bragging to me or others can be a turn-off, and he need to get a grip on this before people think he's too high-maintenance or one who's a show-off. What does he do? Be on the defense, and say how I'm being too sensetive or jealous. I broke out laughing because it's so ridiculous to me of why would I be jealous of someone who has to brag to me or clients on how well they've had it in the past with a wealthy lover, and how high in demand they are client wise.
 
I know he's well loved and in high demand by clients as I've worked with him in the past as he's really good at what he does, and am happy for him, and his success, but when you throw such success constantly in someone's face all the time trying to make the other escort feel they are beneath you or inferior - to me, that's going way overboard, and is considered as bragging in my opinion.
 
Some may ask "Have you talk to your friend, and told him how you feel about his behavior"? Some may say " Maybe he doesn't see or is aware he's bragging being he's sharing his life experiences with you as a friend". Both maybe true, and he maybe sharing his life experiences, yes, but there is a difference in sharing your life experiences, and just plain being a show-off intentionally on purpose to prove to someone how well you have it made in life in and out of escorting.
 
What do you guys think I should do about my bragging friend? Should I be firm, and confront him again on how uncomfortable it makes me feel of him bragging too much or cut him loose?
 
May the suggestions begin........:).............

There is another side to the story - absolutely, but out of respect for the forum, myself, and those individuals involved or exposed in the matter - I'd prefer to just let it go, and move forward being I'm very sorry to all of you on the forum had to see that sort of nastiness take place, and do regret terribly with all sincerity that such disturbing occurrences happened behind-the-scenes gone public on purpose.
 
I don't know what to say other then I'm terribly sorry, you guys that such disturbing actions and disagreements that were behind-the-scenes had to go public, but with no fault of my own as I need to make that clear - it wasn't my doing whatsoever.
 
However, the drama is over, long, done, and finished. Like to move on with my life with a positive outlook here on the forum start new without harboring of the past occurrences that weren't so pleasant such as what's in the posted link.