Just Chuck

His amazing body multiplied by that bright friendly smile and enthusiasm is a combo that absolutely melts me.

I fall right in the middle. Kinsey used the words rather than the numbers when he interviewed people. He had a coded worksheet that he used to record answers that wouldn’t mean anything to someone else who read them as part of his way of keeping his volunteer subjects anonymous. The Liam Neeson film “Kinsey” is a pretty good film that I enjoyed. Not great, but worth watching. Dr. Fritz Klein followed up on Kinsey’s work and came up with a multi-dimensional grid that I think gives a better representation of a person’s real orientation. It also doesn’t address gender identity along with orientation. Take the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid (KSOG) here. The answers aren’t as concise, but they are more descriptive. My Klein grid scores reflect that I behaved more as a heterosexual when I was a young adult although I was always attracted to the whole gender spectrum and my behavior has come more in line with my attractions as I’ve aged.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GvagqhoXwAAdWpM?format=jpg&name=large

Before a person “comes out” to anyone else, they have to “come out” to themselves. I wonder how many “straight” clients are just somewhere in the process of getting around to admitting to themselves that they have some degree of sexual attraction to their own sex.

I’ve struggled with labels. At the same time, I’ve found some relief when I found a label that brought me closer to accurately saying who I am. I grew up struggling with a an idea that I had to label myself as either gay or straight. When I adopted the label bisexual, it was a HUGE relief. Later, I’ve learned a lot more about my orientation and attractions. I am actually super attracted to people who blur gender lines. (If any of you can line up a threesome for me with Lux Pascal and Elliot Page, I will forever be grateful.)

In case of leak, water based lube in non-disasterous but a leak of silicone lube can ruin everything in your luggage. (Same with pepper spray, by the way.) I pack silicone lube inside a snack-size ziplock, inside a sandwich-size ziplock, inside a quart-size ziplock, inside a gallon-size ziplock. And that within my toiletry bag. I’ll buy a factory sealed bottle of silicone lube before a trip and just trash the excess before flying home.

I was listening to the Butt Honestly Podcast recently and the guest was a gay man recently released from prison. He described some other inmates as “gay-for-the-stay”. Men who live as straight men when they are free, but are flexible enough in attraction to have sex with other men when that’s the only game in town.

I don’t trigger many guys Gaydar and they are often surprised that I’m not straight. Escorts know why I hired them. Masseurs often start to roll out the sensual/sexual side of it very slowly and a little timidly with me because they’re not certain that I’m game for that kind of massage.

Orientation is complex. The idea of a gay/straight binary caused me a lot of anxiety when I was younger. There’s not a binary. There’s not even a single-axis scale. I think there’s a multi-dimensional scale for people’s sexual orientation. The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid (KSOG) gives one of the most succinct ways to describe a person’s sexual orientation that I’ve found. You can take a quick seven-question quiz in the site that I linked and it will give you a grid describing orientation description table for your past, present, and future.